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smackie9

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Everything posted by smackie9

  1. She's giving you the old, "It's not you it's me" song and dance. She's doing everything in her power to make herself unattractive to you, hoping you will give up and dump her. She's not saying it directly but she wants to breakup. Why? don't know, and you may never know. Just leave her alone and move on.
  2. Ya when you get too intense, it's a creepy vibe, a total turn off. You need to contain yourself. Girls do like to chase a little bit, like along the lines desire more what you can't have. Need to be a little aloof, less available. Nothing wrong with hanging out and having fun. Have to be laid back, relaxed and don't get all sappy with long texts, etc. Hang back be cool.
  3. Tell your GF you do have a problem, and you need some of her help with your behavior. You got to get her onboard with this. Get her to stop you each time this bad behavior arises, whether it's a lie, false promise, not following through, etc. Talk about what is happening, then let her make suggestions to correct it, and be there to make sure you follow through. Once that is completed, she needs to reward the behavior by giving you acknowledgement that what you did makes her happy, give you a hug a kiss whatever. It's going to be awkward and a little tedious at first but you two can do this together. it's about retraining your brain. You both want change right? Give it a try. Just remember, if you get frustrated, express how you are feeling, talk it out or take a break, 5 mins come back to it. Over time you will gain the right kind of coping skills.
  4. There can be many reasons why men seem to turn away. You should be asking people who are closest to you because they know you best. My advice....Attracting men: a positive attitude, cheerful out going personality, quick wit, flirty, feminine look but sexy too, healthy and fit, strong eye contact, smile lots, not afraid to do light touching during a conversation, some compliments, show confidence. To keep a man: You need to have substance.... interests/hobbies, do many different actives, independent, active life. Be able to have a conversation about most things. Spontaneous, open to try new things. finally, try a dating coach.
  5. His remark sounded like he was taking a personal stab at you. Maybe it was his under handed way to say you weren't being respectable because you weren't making enough effort to see him. It sounded purposeful, like he wanted a way out. He knew this would be the trick.
  6. Take care of your parents? They need to prepare for their own future and not burden you as much. Already I see they would rather take the easy way out. That's not fair to you. You already have enough on your plate, and need to focus on your own future for your own sake. You can do this. There must be employment agencies that offer advice on what is available to you. Look into a community college that has low budget courses you can take.
  7. He's feeding you crap. Girl give your head a shake. There is a real man out there that will give you the love and intimacy you so deserve. Kick this guy to the curb. Never make accommodations for a guy that keeps one foot on the floor when in bed with you.
  8. Well first off, it's not up to your ex or you how your child is raised, that should be left up to the courts. You have rights too. She can spew things about you all she wants, she would have a real difficult time proving these accusations. That crap should never deter you. Get a lawyer and start the process. You owe it to your son. As for your GF, what happens with her kids is her responsibility. It is not up to you. Now I would be wary if I were you meddling in her business about her kids. Don't be a white knight. Get your head out of the clouds. This is a woman who has two kids from two different men, etc. don't be a third. Your chances of that happening are pretty strong. Keep it wrapped buddy.
  9. You are worried what your kids would think if you got divorced? I would be more worried about what they would think of the affair that was going on for the last half of a 23 year marriage to their father.
  10. you know the drill...block/delete/ignore.
  11. Sure heat up his dinner, with his laundry that's on fire on the front lawn.
  12. You are selfish, and need to be straight with your husband. He's loves you and you want to use him. That's a poor life choice. Your ex is a bad choice too. He was unsupportive, selfish, and disconnected on you when you needed him the most. It would be disastrous going back to him. I suggest you seek out therapy to work out your grief first, then get real with yourself. Codependency is unhealthy. Your kids need to learn and look up to a mom that can stand on her own and be able to be independent. Your parents are not very good role models if they say to fake your way your with your husband is your answer. Your husband can be on the hook for child support, and you can collect disability. Once you get everything straighten out with your life, you will be ready to find love in a positive healthy way.
  13. Nope nope nope. Expecting him to break contact because you were sick is passive aggressive. It was you that lost your temper and said bad things. Then you let days pass, when you could have sent him a text message that first night owning it. You two are not on the same page, you both can't communicate properly, and most likely there have been other issues that you haven't disclosed to us. This is not an isolated incident right? That argument and how it was handled was the tipping point. This relationship is done. Cut your losses and move on.
  14. You know you can do better, your gut tells you this. I think everyone else can agree to never argue with your first instinct...and that was at the first few moments before you answered the first DM.
  15. Please help? Dump him. Guys like him, you can't fix their insecurity no matter what you do or say.
  16. This isn't about him, or other men, or what men do or don't do...this is about you and the choices you make. You took a chance, and your fears of what would happen were correct. So why step out of your set boundaries. Stick with what you know, keep yourself in check, don't over look red flags because they are smokin hot. Date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated. You considering unblocking him is you stepping out of your set boundaries. You already know if you do, you are going to get the same results...you know this, so why be weak. You don't step in the same pile of dog s^&% twice when you know that it's already there right?
  17. After two dates, and you see how things are with this person. Time to find someone else.
  18. This is an unhealthy perspective. The questions and feelings you have about your own sexuality should never be looked at as shameful/disgusting/hurtful/ guilty, etc. You really need to find a safe place and talk about this with a professional or find a LGBTQ support group. You owe it to yourself, and him.
  19. Worry about it if it happens. There is nothing you can do about it now. If your BF finds out, just have a discussion with tact and kindness. If your BF can't handle it, so what. You do what you need to do to have a happy life.
  20. You don't get it...he doesn't care. You and his wife, other women...you are push overs. He chooses women with no self esteem...all he has to to is say what you want to hear and you fall for it.
  21. Because they have rules to their arrangement. He's supposed to keep his indiscretions out of the public eye. The wife still wanted to up hold a public image, and their arrangement secret from family and friends. He's juggling several women, keeping them secret from one another. So he lies to you, he lies to other women to keep most of his game in order.
  22. It's a marriage of convenience. She gets what she wants and he gets what he wants. It's more common than you think.
  23. That's sexual tension.....have sex and everything will calm down.
  24. If you don't have a cracklin crotch, rash, itch or a burning bush, the doctor will probably suggest trying the things I posted first, especially if you don't notice anything wrong.
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