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smackie9

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smackie9 last won the day on May 30

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  1. Playing house is way different than actually living together. Money/financial reasons/convenience should NOT be the motivator to move in together. It should be with the prospect of hopefully marriage, planning a life together and it's a little too soon for that. But that's just my opinion. Obviously you are itching to do it, but hesitant because what his reaction would be. I guess a suggestion in a conversation wouldn't hurt.
  2. Usually when someone has a problem when they drink, they have underlying mental issues, such as depression/ or a personality disorder. You can't figure it out why he is this way because he has issues that make him think differently. He has triggers like jealousy, and only exasperates with alcohol consumption. The first step is that he needs to admit sincerely he has a problem and should do something about it....apologies don't cut it anymore. Then to be assessed by a professional, and to seek therapy. That's providing you and him both want to save this relationship.
  3. No don't. He should make the step to move closer to you if possible.
  4. Well this is what happens to a lot of couples with kids...the kids get the attention/energy and the husband feels ripped off. women need emotional connection from romance, men need emotional connection through sex. this is the great divide. When was the last time you two actually had a weekend or a week without the kids? or been out on a date? Did something together that didn't involve the kids or household chores? I say in order to level this out, you both need some lifestyle changes. You are tired, and emotionally focus on responsibilities. You need to figure out a way to start letting your kids take care of themselves more. 12 is old enough to cook, do laundry and clean the house, help out with the 7 year old, like babysitting. When I was 12, I was doing all that and more, including cutting the lawn, taking care of the dog, and light shopping. It kept me out of trouble. Him, he needs to find ways to expel his energy/sexual frustration, like playing sports/exercise/yoga/meditation, play with the kids after work. But also participate more with helping you out too....working as a team. With sex, maybe include him giving you a relaxing massage, foot massage, etc...let the focus be on you, and your needs. He needs to know that if you say no he better not make you feel bad. That only makes you push away more and not want it. Sometimes redoing the bedroom, fresh new bedding, will make it more intimate for the both of you. And of course, if all efforts fail, couples counseling. Sort it out, and be heard/listen/understand. If you can't get him on board to
  5. Just saying...you are only getting one side of the story. I know that people who are bi-polar or whatever personality issues they may have, tend to have a distorted and negative perspective. Or people just love playing the victim. IMO when you go through a bad experience, you tend to learn from it. You go through many, you become and are the common denominator.
  6. OK just keep talking here. I don't really have a solution for you...counseling is what is needed and you have that covered. Can you not do it online? Facetiming with a psychologist is the way to go,...more availability.
  7. Having pretty bad relationships doesn't always mean it's the ex....it's possible, she's the bad relationship. The "abuse" she calls it may actually be the reaction of a hurt BF. When they are hurt and confused, they get upset and say bad things or want them back so much, they will do anything like use manipulation out of desperation because they are so in love. You were almost there yourself I'm sure, but had some pretty good self control. So it's not you it's her. She might be one of those people that thrives on the dopamine when meeting someone new, but when it wears off, depression sets in like crashing from a high. The only way to escape it is to move on, go back to playing with friends and meeting someone again.
  8. well that will learn ya. She taunts you because you disrespected her, that girl and her BF. I doubt this is repairable. sounds like she's out for revenge...that's pretty damaging to your relationship, if there is one still.
  9. There must be a youth club offered free at a local church/ community center where you can meet new people, play games, sports, do crafts, etc.
  10. I hate the gym too. It's more fun to go site seeing, or go for a walk through some trails. There are so many outdoor options that cost you nothing.
  11. So once the masks come off, suggest doing more physical activities. Try something new, like golf, or tennis, go for bike rides. Exercise, even in small doses help heaps in dealing with stress, and increases libido. Eating healthier, cooking together can be a good option too. It's good that you acknowledge there's some work that needs to be done on your relationship....but now you can reverse that with some lifestyle changes. It's a first step anyways, that's easy to take on.
  12. Do one of those surprise things like they do on social media, where you video him blind folded, while he pull signs about how you found out he was cheating. He will think it's a birthday surprise....yup a surprise alright. You busting him and kicking him to the curb. Start off with "My GF doesn't know I was texting a woman for sex..."
  13. smackie9

    Exes

    Both your relationships are over so you can have sex with whomever you want. You are adults, you can make your own choices. If you would like to enjoy a FWB with Nick, then go for it. No one really has to know about it. You can keep it between you two.
  14. Hey nothing wrong with having an evening out. I think we all deserve an evening out after this pandemic.
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