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ConfusedSA

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  1. This is a really good question. I don't know... I've never lived alone before. I won't have companionship. Someone to talk to. Maybe I'm scared I might have to start dealing with myself.
  2. No I'm giving him a two week deadline to make a plan. I know I have abandonment issues and part of me letting him stay in the past was out of fear of being alone. I believe I can work on that AND let him go at the same time. I don't know if this makes sense? My state of mind is a bit cluttered at the moment so with him gone I'll be able to clear out some of my issues. I do however recognise that I have been very complicit in creating this situation. A willing participant if you will. I can't punish myself for that forever
  3. Yes. Infact this is an improved version of him. He never used to cook at all. But you know how manipulators are... when you point out something they give you a little bit, just enough to make you think there's hope where there is none.
  4. Thank you. This is brilliant. I'm actually gonna try this. No more playing nice it can't be in the name of love when there's no love from my side anymore. Surely I'm just a suckered for punishment. Or maybe just a sucker... it is wild to me that someone you love can take advantage of you.
  5. Thank you. I must have been blind for a long time because it took a while to realize this.
  6. I completely accept my part in all of it.. It's just been such a blurry road. I moved from a naive young woman to a full grown adult right in front of him. He knows my every weakness. I'm am empath and a people pleaser pleaser and he's been getting a free ride while I thought I was being "kind" or "good" and a supportive gf
  7. I have been with my boyfriend for TEN YEARS now and we've lived together for about 5. I have been patient with him not having a job and unable to contribute to the household but I have now gotten to a point where I am sick of it and in turn sick of him. I have tried breaking up with him several occasions and asked that he move out as it is my place that we are staying in. He just tells me he has nowhere else to go and to give him time to make a plan (he's mom stays in an old age home and he doesn't get along with any of his other family members) so usually post break up he would just stay put in my house until a point where I give in somehow and we end up back together. I have recently started working from home due to covid and decided to unskill myself by going back to school and even with that he doesn't step up and help out in the house. I come back from classes at 9pm and he will have not made anything for us or atleast himself to eat. Sometimes during the day while I work and he plays Playstation games he will ask me what we are going to have for lunch🙃 I am soooo tired of mothering him and I have emotionally left the relationship but don't know how to draw clear boundaries. I'm honestly at my witts end. Please help me, how do I get out of this mess??
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