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  1. Thank you for the clarification! Also, what is your opinion on this? Do you think I made the right choice?
  2. Big update. Yesterday I had another talk to her. I told her that I forgive her, and emphasized the expectations of our relationship. I told her from here on out she needs to be honest with me. I also gave her one more chance to come clean and tell me the whole truth, since I suspected she didn’t tell me the whole truth the first time given her body language. That’s when she opened in detail about her past. And oh boy. She started crying profusely. She didn’t have casual sex with 2-3 people. More like 7 or 8. And her casual sex/ situationships/ toxic relationships started at the age of 16 when she lost her virginity. She also admitted that she cheated twice on her ex boyfriend. Once, because of miscommunication, since she didn’t realize she was in a relationship and slept with someone else. And then later for revenge because she found out her ex had been cheating on her the entire time. She regrets it and said that no matter the reasons that led her to cheat, that cheating is cheating. And what she did was unacceptable.And that she understands cheating is a deal breaker. She gave me so many details about her past, opening up in a way I never saw before. To the point I told her to stop sharing every single detail because I had the information I needed. She asked if there was something else I wanted to know. She said she is really ashamed of what she did in the past. She knows what she did is wrong, that she was young and stupid back then. She also went to therapy. Also, three family members died in that time. She hit rock bottom. And that she will never do something like that again. She gave me the chance to leave her. She said she was a hoe back then. And that she probably doesn’t deserve me. That maybe I want to find someone better, since her past is jaded. I made the decision to forgive her. Because of how amazing our relationship has been, and the fact that I felt she told me the whole truth. And because I believe people can change. She also said she hasn’t been unfaithful to me during our relationship. She even showed me her contacts on her phone proving there is not another guy in her phone. I didn’t ask for it. She just wanted to show me. She deleted all social media when we started dating. She also said the reason why she changed her phone number when we started dating was because she wanted to start fresh. To start from zero. She didn’t want no past guy contacting her. And she didn’t want me to become suspicious if a past guy tried to contact her. She said the reason she hid all of this was because she wanted the past to die. She wanted to start from zero. She saw what a great guy I am, and that she could not lose the opportunity to date someone as amazing as me. She wanted to appear as this perfect person. I told her I was virgin. Being completely honest about my self. And she thought I wanted a virgin as well. Which is not true. I don’t care about the person’s body count. All I want is honesty, communication, trust, and respect. Her plan was to never tell me all this. But her guilt just grew more and more. She wanted to let the truth out in parts. But since I told her she had one last opportunity to come clean, she told me everything. Have I made the right decision?
  3. I agree. However the bigger issue I am having, is that she lied to me. She told me she was a virgin, that I was her first. If she told me all this in the beginning, that would be different. I am still thankful she told me. She said her original plan was to never tell me. But she couldn't hold in the guilt. I am grateful she had the courage to tell me. She said she went prepared thinking I was going to break up with her. So her courage, I appreciate. It's just the lying aspect that kept me awake last night. But maybe I am overthinking, I am not sure.
  4. So, me and my girlfriend have been together for six moths. Everything is going great. Except for the fact that she doesn’t trust me fully yet. I never really understood this. But it all makes sense now. She is my first girlfriend. And she said in the beginning that I was also her first boyfriend and that she was a virgin. However, yesterday, I learned the terrible truth. She said she was not doing well mentally. So we met, and she told me she has been hiding something since the very beginning. She said she was very ashamed and that she regrets it. She told me a year and a half ago she was in an 8 month relationship. And in the beginning of it everything was good, but later, her ex treated her poorly, used her, cheated on her, and abandoned her. After that she slept around with two guys, up until 3 months before we met, and also started drinking to cope with the pain. She said she regrets it. The reason she does not fully trust me yet is because of her past. I told her its okay. I thanked her for telling me this, and I said to leave the past behind and focus on the future. It was a total of five hour talk. Now, my question is. How can I continue trusting her? How can I trust that she only slept with two people, or that she never cheated on me in that regard? What should be my next move?
  5. I see. Would two weeks of no masturbation make me ejaculate during sex? I am on my first day of no masturbation, and it's hard ngl. But I will do my best. I will also not bring up sex during those two weeks. I don't want her to think I only want to see her for sex. I need to control my self better. I get hard just by hugging her. I love her. I haven't taken her on dates because I have no idea where to take her. And it is very cold outside. Next time we see each other I wanna take her to the museum. But other than that I got no idea. And I don't have a ton of money.
  6. Update. Relationship is good. Recently we started having sex. And that’s where the problem begins. We are each other’s first. Before we had PIV sex, we would kiss and do oral on each other. That was really good. Just by kissing me, she would get wet. First time we had sex, she was very horny as well. It was good, but neither of us finished. I thought it was the condom, so I changed brands. Over the last two weeks, we had sex three more times. But she said she was not as horny. I still can’t cum from sex. According to her, sex is good, but she is not as horny as she used to be a few weeks before. She was also on her period last week. Also, we have sex in her house. And her family is there. So we always have to go slow and being careful with any noises. She gets kinda nervous when having sex with me in her house. I can only cum when I masturbate. Normally I masturbate 3-4 times a day. Not being able to finish during sex is frustrating me a lot. Using a condom sucks. I can barely feel anything. And she does not want to use birth control. The thing is I have no problem ejaculating when I masturbate with a condom. I dont know why that happens. Also, I have tried everything to make her cum, but without success. She said she has never finished. And she does not like to masturbate. Lately that’s all we have been doing. Me going to her house, and us having sex. She has mentioned its been a while since we have gone on dates. When we first started dating, I would take her out a lot. But now not really.
  7. Update. Its been 4 months. Our relationship is good. Recently, she became more comfortable. And the past few weeks, we started getting naked together, me eating her out, fingering her. She does want to have sex, but not yet. She doesnt feel entirely ready for penetration. But at the same time she has imagined us having sex. She just needs time. I have told her Im going to have condoms ready in my wallet for when she is ready and she agreed. There is only a few things that frustrate me. 1) I go down on her 90% of the time. And she goes down on me 10% of the time. She is a little selfish. When ever I ask if she can jerk me off or give me head, she is like "not right now". Only later, she becomes comfortable with the idea. She jerks me off, but she only gives me head for like 15 seconds. I feel rejected. Yesterday she said she wanted to jerk me off until I came. But I could not cum. The way she jerks me off is not the same way I do it. I have tried explaining and teaching her, but it's like only my hand can get me off. And I am super frustrated. So I had to jerk off and cum in front of her. She liked seeing me cum, but I feel bad she couldnt make me cum. 2) I can't make her cum. I have tried everything. Fingering her, eating her out. But I can't make her climax. I have done research, but nothing helps. She says she feels good. And for me not to worry about it. That I will get better. But I wanna make her cum. The are days she prefers me fingering her vagina. And other days she prefers clit stimulation. I am so lost. Even she doesnt know how to explain what feels good. I am afraid she will not want to have sex with me If I don't make her cum soon. 3) This whole thing started 2 weeks ago. We have done all this 3 days in a row. And I am getting tired. I don't want our relationship to be only sexual. I want to go out with her, be a couple. But everytime I go to pick her up, she tells me to come inside her house. One thing leads to the other, and then we are naked for the rest of the day. She said she loves "us enjoying our selves". But I only enjoy my self 10% of the time since she barely goes down on me. And I am afraid she will get tired of getting intimate, ultimately ruining our relationship.
  8. Yeah normally she doesnt ask me out on a date. She just says "I miss you" or "when am I going to see you", but thats about it. And about the intimacy part, I agree, its kind of weird. I really hope someday she will want to be intimate with me. Its just really hard for me to be by her side, or to cuddle with her, and being horny and have to hide it.
  9. I am pretty sure she is afraid of sex. She is a virgin. She indirectly touched on this subject a few months ago. She said she doesn't want to get pregnant by the wrong guy. She also said she does not want any babies at the moment. And last but not least, she said whats the point of sex if she does not want to get pregnant. I thought that was kind of weird, since she is not that religious at all. The way she said it gives the impression she never heard what a condom is.
  10. Do we make out? I don't really know. When we are cuddling, we kiss each other. But the kissing is different from how it was before. Before, we would not cuddle, but we would have long engaged kissing. Now, not really. We cuddle, hold each other, and the kisses are more like quick pecks. A lot of them. But just pecks. As far as touching each other, we hold each other, she tickles me a lot, we stay really close to each other in bed, but that is about it. I think she doesn't want to risk pregnancy. Specially not with the wrong person. It happened to her mom, and the dad left her for another women. Her friends also got pregnant at a very young age. She said that if pregnancy happens in the future, it happens. But she does not want it to be with the wrong person, and she also does not want to get pregnant right now. What I don't understand is does she know contraceptives exist? Anyways, thats what she told me about three months ago when we just started to get to know each other.
  11. Thank you so much for your response! I agree with everything you said. I just find it odd that she would not know anything about contraceptives already. But I will give it a little more time and hope she opens up about the subject in the near future. I wish she knew how hard it is when we cuddle, for me not to think about becoming intimate. Maybe we need to keep cuddling to a minimum, I don't know.
  12. Thank you for your input! In terms of exclusivity, we have been boyfriend/girlfriend for two months, met her three months ago. I agree I need to get to know her more. We text everyday, but we also have been seeing each other more in person lately. We miss each other, and texting is just a means of supplementing the in face interactions we have. In terms of marriage, as you said, I still need to finish college and be financially independent. Speaking of finances, the one thing I kinda don't like is that I always pay for everything. Like when we go out, she never offers to chip in. And it adds up. The good thing is that she has not asked me to buy her stuff outside of the dates, and she also is more frugal than other girls. So I will start planning cheaper dates. I am not rich, and the cost of going out is adding up quick. Also, how do I know if she is ready to have the intimacy conversation?
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