Jump to content

BliSta

Bronze Member
  • Posts

    30
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

BliSta's Achievements

Explorer

Explorer (4/14)

  • One Year In
  • One Month Later
  • Week One Done
  • Dedicated Rare
  • Collaborator

Recent Badges

7

Reputation

  1. Thank you, it seems like a cool idea, I don't know how I would bring it up though. I fear they wouldn't take it too well? Or, what if the first meeting goes very well and you just want to spend more time together during that meeting? Also, this is unrelated, but I've met a couple of potentially interesting men in real life (I've recently started a second sport and I'm getting to know lots of people through it, which is great) and I'm so used to online dating that it feels so weird that I don't know their age, if they're single or even straight! I'm just going with the flow and getting to know them better hoping to find out soon, but it feels so odd! I feel so lost. 😁
  2. I try to do coffee, apart from sometimes when they invite me on a proper date, which always seems nice. But you're right, I think from now on I'll just do coffee, even if they suggest lunch or something else. Can I ask you what you mean by this: "Agree that neither can ask for a full date on the spot, but either can invite the other afterwards. If the answer is yes, the other responds, but if not, then no response is necessary." Thanks. And thank you for the encouragement!
  3. Thanks to both. 🙂 To answer your questions, I use Hinge. I do go through some screening, just some basic exchanges to see that we have things in common and to get an idea of what they're like. I normally meet asap cause I don't like messaging for too long, I'd rather see them. So I think I rule out time-wasters in that sense. I know you need to go through a lot of bad dates to find a decent one, but in this case I think it's more me feeling nothing at all. I am looking for something serious, so it might be worth it in the end, but for now it all feels like a big waste.
  4. Hi everyone, Don't know if you remember, but I posted here in Feb this year about a bad experience with someone. I'm happy to say that I've learnt a lot from that experience. I've set much higher standards and since then I haven't let people do things to me if I didn't want to. I've also told guys that I didn't want to have sex right away and, as a consequence, some disappeared, others stayed. And I'm happy with that result. So, nothing to complain about in that sense. I'm writing tonight as since that last experience I posted about, I genuinely haven't met anyone that I truly liked. Not saying I truly liked that guy either, but at least there was "something". Now it's just all dead. Since the summer, I've seen a couple of guys for at most 2-3 months (not at the same time, but in a row), without sleeping with them, not really wanting to either, to then end it because it was just pointless. In all honesty, I only ever felt it with one guy in 2022 (again, not the one of the last post) but after that... ZERO. I came back today from another just ok date. It was fine, but, again, nothing special. I'm just not feeling it for anyone. It's so frustrating. What do you think? Bad luck? I've met around 30 people last year and this year around 10 (needed to slow down a bit). Is it me? Or maybe I need a break from dating? I don't want to stop it completely, so I thought that slowing down would be enough, but maybe I just need to stop completely for a while... What do you think? I'm feeling burned out, and like I'm wasting my time.
  5. Thanks! I think that is a big problem of mine, I usually can't say no to people. Not cause I want to please them, don't care too much about that, but cause I'm worried that by doing so I'll lose them or they'll get mad at me. I think I would have never had the courage to turn down the neighbour, even though, just like you, I prefer working out alone. It would have been too uncomfortable. But also I agree that if you show who you really are and are not afraid of saying what you really want people will respect you more. Still so much to learn!
  6. Yeah, that wouldn't surprise me. Would have been nicer if he had done it before spending 5 hours on the phone with me telling me all his concerns about "us", but what can you do...
  7. Thank you for this, I know it might seem silly, but I had no idea on where to start!
  8. You're right, I only refer to it as "accident" because he came inside and at the time it felt like a genuine misunderstanding/mistake. But I'm not so sure now tbh. In my experience though, people who didn't care about me or were just after sex acted accordingly. So it was pretty easy to spot, as their actions reflected their intentions. In this case, it was a bit different. That's also why a couple of my friends believed he didn't act that badly, as he showed interest in me. Also, why end it then? He could have kept me "hanging" there for his convenience. Probably got bored/got what he wanted and moved on to the next one?
  9. I do care about myself, or at least I think I do? What if I inadvertently act (and I mean daily, not in that specific instance) in a non-caring way and I don't even realise it? What could the preventing things be? As for critical self-talk, yeah, I am aware of that. I used to criticise myself A LOT when younger and I still have some leftovers from that. It's improved over the years, and I grew more confident, but there's still a lot of work to be done.
  10. After the toxic one ended, I started dating again and in June 2022 there was this guy I could see it going somewhere with, but it didn't work out because of "external" problems (bad timing - he genuinely had no time for a relationship). I was pretty upset, first, because I really liked him, second, because the only person I had liked was "unavailable". I kind of had convinced myself that after those 3 horrible years I finally deserved someone nice and that the person had finally arrived. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Same with this second guy (the bullet). I liked him, not as much as the June one, but a good amount that made me want to keep on seeing him. Then the whole unprotected sex thing happened and I think I went along cause it "had to work". I couldn't face the idea of another dating experience going badly, so I accepted things I wasn't okay with. And I know it's recipe for disaster, but I just needed to do it at the time (plus the other reasons I mentioned). For the record, the June guy was 100% respectful and way more mature. I'm still sorry it didn't work out. I do, unfortunately, yes. And for both reasons you mentioned. I don't, and it can be easily proven by the fact that HE ended it, not me. But I'm so glad he did now, cause I'm determined to finally, once and for all, start working on myself. I see it now, but it was harder to spot it at the time and I guess that's why a couple of my friends still believe he wasn't just after sex. Cause he didn't act like the classic player, he showed REAL interest in me. Until that happened. Obviously he didn't care for me then (or for himself), but even after that accident, he continued to act very nicely towards me. That's why I was confused. Thank you, do you mean self-love books and similar? I bought one 2 years ago (never opened it though), but will have another look.
  11. Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you managed to get what you wanted at last and, to be fair, that gives me a bit of hope. I see more and more people doing things later nowadays. And I do have time. Also, I would have never wanted to have a baby in my 20s, so can't really complain that much. But anyway, that's beside the point. I see what you mean about being like that with your son and I agree. In your case, it's cause he loves you and knows you and knows why you are doing it. In my situation, it would have been a great test and saved me a month of pointless dating, not to mention the health scare. Yes, doing the right thing is difficult. I've done it in the past (when I ended my LTR) and in other occasions, so I'm sure I'll be able to do it this time too. Little by little and day by day.
  12. I should probably print this and hang it on my wall. I understand and I agree 100%. The difficult part is putting it into practice.
  13. You're right. Cause a part of me, and I know it's silly, still hurts about the fact that he decided to end it. So it's kind of reassuring, in a way, to realise that I didn't miss out on anything and that it was actually a good thing that he did. Also, I've had different opinions from different friends. Most of them told me he was disrespectful and they're glad it's over, but some don't see his behaviour as that bad. I'm glad you all replied the way you did, cause that's what I believe too now, I just needed to look at it from a distance and I will never let anyone treat me like that again.
  14. Thanks, I do a lot of sport already and that helps, but will try and do the other things you mentioned. Thank you!
×
×
  • Create New...