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SherrySher last won the day on August 27

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  1. I gotta say, OP, Rose is 100% right. He enjoys looking at other women. He enjoys also looking at naked women. He enjoys letting them know. He will lie to you about it, and probably lie about other things too. He will turn the tables on you when you try to talk to him about it, gas light you, call you controlling, crazy etc. This is who he is. Take it, or leave it. It's extremely unlikely to change.
  2. Oh okay, I didn't realize it had been that short of a time...yeah, you're definitely not compatible, especially with this much toxicity happening this soon.
  3. You must have felt some kind of deception vibe coming from him in order to check his account. But when a relationship gets to the point where you're sneaking and checking on him, and asking him questions, when you know the answers, then you know your relationship is already in trouble. Do I personally recommend checking up on your partner? Yes, I do. Life is too short to waste it with someone who is going to betray you, and lie. I know many others feel that if you're doing that, that it's wrong, I however feel we have to keep our hearts safe and if you feel your boyfriend isn't being honest, then check. Who else is going to take care of you? Now, when it comes to your boyfriend in particular, it's not so much the fact that he's hiding the truth about liking naked pictures online. That's immature of him at best. However, what would worry me is that he's comfortable lying to you about anything at all. I know you're trying to justify it by saying, "Oh, he just wants to avoid conflict", but a lie, is a lie and it's never okay. If he is willing to lie to you about anything then: A.) You're not as good of friends as you think. B.) He is bordering on a type of betrayal as he is hiding truths from you and behaving how he knows would be hurtful to you. C.) Has less respect for you if he can sit there and bold faced lie (I don't measure it in white, or small, big...to me, a lie is a lie). I really think you need to reconsider this relationship, because by the sounds of it, it's turning toxic.
  4. I'm not sure what he has to process. You know him, I do not. However, this man created this entire scenario. He chose to make you cry, to walk out of your life, to throw your future away. He continues to choose those things, and not make amends, and not fix anything. At this point, there is no excuses. He does not want this relationship, and he is not trying to do anything to save it. I don't feel any kind of sadness for him. He created the sadness for you, and is only feeling guilt over it. I really do hope you back away from him, and stop allowing him to intrude on your life like this. He's not helping, in fact, he's doing more damage by confusing you and giving you false hope. The best you can do is to stay away from him, and ask him to stop contacting you or your family/friends. YOU need to heal. That's what you should be focusing on right now.
  5. Sounds like guilt to me. I mean, yeah, he obviously has some feelings having been together for 4 years, but what you're describing is guilt, otherwise he would be by your side, begging you to come back, right?
  6. Absolutely! You have great value. You've got a good job, you have a good heart, you're loyal, responsible, etc You ARE wife material. Thousands of men are looking for someone EXACTLY like you. If this bozo can't appreciate what he's got and thinks he can put you on the back burner while he runs around, then he doesn't deserve you. Every decision has consequences, and him walking out on you like this, means he is not allowed any kind of access to you. Having access to you is a privilege, and he lost that when he tossed away all the plans for the future with you. Respect yourself more than tying your heart to some man who is willing to treat you so poorly.
  7. Okay, to be more straight forward on what I was thinking. He wants to go sleep around and not suffer any kind of consequences. It's not just travelling, he wants to be able to hook up with someone when he feels the need.
  8. Oh gosh, well then he's just treating you very badly. Wanting to go out into the world, have a good ole time, and putting you on the back burner expecting you to wait. If he valued you, respected you, cherished you, and felt that a future with you, was at the top of his list, he wouldn't be second guessing like this, or tossing you so easily. Don't let him do this to you! You deserve so much better. Block, delete, move on. Let him suffer the consequences.
  9. Definitely not the same experience as being totally carefree and single.
  10. He had it in his mind to get married, but then realized that he's not done all the things he wants to, he hasn't seen all the places he wants to, and he's not experienced all the things he wants to. He's being very honest with you, and you honestly should be grateful. Why? Because if he shoved all of that down inside of him, and said, "okay, let's get married", it may work for a couple years, but eventually, he will start feeling FOMO again, and not only that, but the more he ages, the worse the feeling will get. He'll feel depressed, and might even resent you. The chances of him cheating are definitely there too if he doesn't feel like he did everything he wanted to. I know that sound harsh, but for some men, it's just how it is. My ex husband swore up and down that he didn't mind getting married without barely any experiences, and I believed him. 8 years later he was chasing everything possible, and cheating and lying. You can't will something like that out of someone. If they feel they still need to go out into the world as a single person and do as they please and explore and travel, then you have to let them go. He's absolutely right, you're in different places in your life, you want different things, and you're focused on different things. You can't force it to be different, one of you will end up feeling miserable, guaranteed. Somehow you have to find it in you, to let him go. Believe that there is another man meant for you, and this one (no matter how much you want him to be)....just isn't the one.
  11. Also, don't date again until this is 100% resolved.
  12. I think it's best to accept that you and she are a mismatch. You both may be nice people, you both may have wanted this to work, but you're not compatible. At 5 months in, if you're having this bad of problems, then it's a sure sign you're not right for each other. At 5 months, you should still be on the honeymoon phase where everything is happy and wonderful and carefree. You and she are already unhappy, already making each other feel bad, and it's already work. It's time to call it a day, mate.
  13. You're setting yourself up for hurt and disappointment. He's not interested. Please accept this, and move on. Don't give up entirely on dating though, try to meet someone in other areas. Meetup.com, take a class like painting, pottery, photography and see if you can meet someone with common interests. Join a local dating site so you can meet up with someone near by. And finally, ask friends if they know of anyone decent who may be single and around your age.
  14. OP, why are you allowing this person to treat you this way? She has a horrible attitude. SHE DOESN'T DESERVE A PARTNER. A pretty face does not give someone the right to treat people like garbage, nor did it make anyone worthy to date. You need to stop thinking with your nether regions and wake up to who you are actually with. Close your eyes to who she is, I'm serious, literally ignore her face or outside as that's all superficial. Just go on her attitude, how sweetly she speaks to you, how supportive she is. How loving she is to you, how patient, how kind, how cooperative. Those things are what will make it worthwhile for you to keep trying so hard to stay with this person. If any of those things are lacking, then you really need to wake up and realize she is not worthwhile, she is no prize and all she is, is a headache. You may have problems too, but if you're trying to work on them, trying to remain close to her, trying to talk things out with her, and she is rolling her eyes, dismissing you and your feelings, then I sincerely mean this...it's time to dump her and move on! She sounds very toxic and she is keeping you in a bad place. You cannot heal, or improve on your self esteem, self worth, with someone who treats you this way. It's all connected, bad self esteem, low self worth, feeling frustration, depressed, low, her treating you badly, you feeling lost, alone, and it carries onto making your addictions worse. Stop the cycle. She either works WITH you to make things better, or its time to close the chapter where she is any part of your life. Right now, she is making things much worse for you.
  15. What makes you think he didn't lie about having ED? He could just be using it as an excuse to not have to touch you, or have sex with you, or see you. That way, he saves it for his new gf, and makes you feel sorry for him so he can keep you on the back burner in case the new gf doesn't work out.
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