Alex4.0

I’m not trying to dodge the question. We live in close proximity but different states, we haven’t met in person yet.

Yes, it has

I’ve been trying to leave him, he threatens to k*ll himself if I leave him because “I’m the only one for him, there’s no one else that would want to be with him” (summarizing his words because he gets very self deprecative). I’m sorry if you feel like I’m staying in this hellish relationship willingly due to me not having left him after the crap he’s put me through, but I personally don’t want another person offing themselves because of me breaking up with them to be on my conscious.

I’m not ignoring those that have said to block and delete him, if that’s what you’re implying.

Ever heard of context?

I’m sorry, what? I’m only giving a shortened version of the whole story, you don’t know what struggles I face daily. And, what do you mean “so-called bf” and “my bizarre BDSM attachment to him” when HE’S the one attached to ME? I just asked for a little advice on how to get out of a relationship trap, not asked to be accused of having a false story.

She is dead to me. Not only did she abandoned my family when I was 11 and force me to mentally grow up to a 35 year old mother to care for my 4 younger siblings that still treat me like crap to this day, but I found out from my godmother that my blood mother tried to poison me when I was a baby for being too loud or something like that.

I’m 21, and I’ve been struggling to get in contact with my doctor behind my fathers back, as I have no vehicle of my own and have to use his old SUV.

see, I know I need trauma therapy, yet when I try to bring it up with either my father or my boyfriend, they both snap at me and basically say “I don’t need it because of [insert crappy reason here]”. My mental state has gotten to a point that I now refuse to leave my room unless absolutely necessary, and I WILL NOT interact with people because I am too scared and drained to. It doesn’t help I have major social anxiety, too. Whats worse is I know my worsening mental health is starting to seriously affect my brain itself, because I get major dizzy spells and feel like half my head is filled with air when I’m in a stressful situation, even a mildly stressful situation. I can hardly work at a job without getting faint or almost collapsing because of the stressors that make my head start spinning or getting airy.

well, I recently was raped, by another guy that I thought I could trust; but when I tried to tell my boyfriend about it, he started telling me that his inferiority complex worsened because this other guy “took what was supposed to be his” and started basically telling me (without actually saying it) how I was going to have to get over that trauma plus trauma with trusting people alone because I had to help him fix his inferiority complex and “trauma” that this guy “gave him” (despite having NEVER spoken to him) just because I got raped and had the most valuable thing I was trying to preserve taken from me.

See, I’ve even told him he needs professional help because his constant demands for me to be there for him is hurting me mentally and physically, and all he has to say about it is “what about you and your toxic a*s?!” He degrades me a LOT when he snaps (which is literally every day now) and now he’s decided that when I try to help him get off just so I can be able to get an hour of sleep afterwards, he can degrade me then, too. I’ve gotten to a point where anytime he goes to work, I put my phone on silent and fight to take care of myself while suffering the consequences of ignoring him afterwards.

I am at a complete loss, my long-distance boyfriend WILL NOT leave me alone for even a second, even when he’s at work, and he CONSTANTLY has anxiety and panic attacks when I don’t respond to him IMMEDIATELY or call him as soon as I possibly can. I understand he has mild autism that was very recently diagnosed, but that shouldn’t warrant him to demand that I give him attention literally 24/7 as well as demand that I do whatever he wants while I suffer the consequences (I live with my abusive father and if I don’t comply with his demands I get verbally and mentally beaten). If I don’t give my boyfriend attention or do what he wants me to do right then and there, he either breaks down crying and brings up past mistakes I’ve made, essentially not allowing me to move on from them, or he starts a massive fight with me about how I “haven’t changed my toxic traits that he has tried to tell me I have” and whatnot. I try being honest with him about how his words and actions are hurting me BAD, but he fights back with “well your actions and words have hurt me worse!” and I don’t know what to do anymore. I tried just being friends with him, but he turned ALL of my friends against me because “he didn’t want his trauma to be repeated” even though he triggered EVERY SINGLE TRAUMATIC MEMORY for me. He’s even told me he doesn’t think I should HAVE to get mental help for my own issues because “I have him and he should be enough”. There have been nights where I want to go to bed because I do not feel well and he demands that I stay up and help him “get off” because something I did got him hard. I can’t tell him “no” or he starts yelling at me saying how I’m not there for him or some crap like that. It’s become such a big issue that I lose sleep now from it because he keeps me up so late. I’m at a loss and I am looking for advice on what to do, because I can’t keep going on like this.