sckoobs

Jebus! get over it! everyone! now!

Maybe you just need to lay the cards on the table, tell him you are interested, despite the fact you invited him over for dinner, then see what he does. Relationships are a two way thing, no one should have to chase more than the other. Maybe because your dinner was 'non-romantic' he sees you as a friend? If you actually told him it was non-romantic he has probably taken this to mean that you're only interested in him as a friend, that might be why he opened up so much as well, because he felt more comfortable?

Some guys have this habbit where they gawk at other girls when they are on a date or generally with their girlfriend, naturally this can upset said girlfriend. I'm quite easily contented, so I don't 'stare' at women, also because I think its rude. Maybe that is why I haven't had many girlfriends - a subtle glance every now and then tells them you're interested, yadda, yadda... Anyway, just as a topic of conversation; is a (boy's or girl's) lingering eye in a relationship a good thing?

Princess777: you kind of missed my point, but no matter, its out of my system now.

The whole 'nice guy' argument is a real pile of. I reckon it comes from society's ideas of how men and women should act, personally I'm turned off by the woman who wants to look like the 'in' actress or supermodel - where is the individuality in that? Is there not such a thing as a relationship based on equality? Biologically speaking we have animal instincts to satisfy, thats fine, but; quote: 'We only want the strongest to make strong offspring, it's a survival thing' - we all want a healthy partner - for sure, but if we went to extremes of finding the 'strongest' and were that driven by our animal instincts, all girls would be chasing 30 year old male athletes and all guys would be chasing full-bodied, wide-hipped women i.e: natural child-bearers, slim girls; the social norm today, wouldn't even get a look in, so how can you say at our level of evolution and by the society that we have nurtured that we are so dependant on cave-man ethics? Women want men who are stronger than them??? Does being a nice guy mean you are physically or mentally/emotionally weak!? I completely agree with dasbin; 'What happened to just being who you are?', the fact that you follow trends in society in an attempt to fit in is brainless, if you have no individuality you are just a headless chicken. Subscribing to stereotypical fascinations is delusional, life is not so black and white, how can you go through life lying to yourself so much!? Personally, what I look for in a woman is a quality that I also posess, someone who has enough confidence in themself to, basically not care what anyone else thinks. I am who I am for me and no one else, I will not adapt to societies norms because; sure I might be a 'bad boy' and 'score more chicks' or whatever, but I'd still have to answer to my conscience. I do what I feel is right, I respect others feelings and needs, I do to others as I would have them do to me - if that warrants me the label 'nice guy' then what the f**k do I care? I feel very passionately about this, because in my opinion I was pretty much a social recluse throughout my school days, but I have no regrets because I am happy with who I am today. I change for nobody except me; THATS survival.

You should start dating as well, not to make you ex feel jealous but to make you feel better. There *are* a lot more guys out there - when you are dating someone who you find interesting you will forget about your ex almost overnight. It's sad, but he is obviously over you so you have to get over him, you may love him but unreciprocated love just hurts, it's bad for both of you. Take up a new hobby or something to help you meet new people.

Personally, I only ask when I'm interested in her, if I wanted a girl as a friend only then it would not matter if she had a b/f. Its sometimes difficult enough to ask a girl if they have got a b/f because of the obvious implication.

This might sound odd, but try masturbating before sex. Depending on how aggressively you do it your penis will feel a bit more numb, hence there will not be as much feeling - which is not to say it won't feel good when having sex. Its also from the fact that after you cum, its much harder for a guy to cum again within a short period of time, meaning you will last quite a bit longer. If you have never masturbated before then perhaps you should try it for the sake of your relationship - even though it shouldn't matter because your stamina will increase the more you have sex anyway, you should tell your girlfriend that you need to practise to get better! Also try bringing her up to speed, if you both orgasm at the same time you will both feel great - like you have a connection - try giving her oral sex or try more foreplay. Depending on the girl, stimulation of the nipples alone can get her off.

Just talk about events in your life that he would not know of. Make it sound exciting but be honest - don't make something up. If you can't think of anything then get out and do something that is exciting! Its will help you take your mind off things... when I need time out I go snowboarding, all the fresh air and fast velocities can really clear my head. When I leave I am refreshed and thinking clearly... it also reminds me how fun life can be. As for the msn messenger thing, just don't log in. If you have to, to talk to other friends on line or something then set your status to offline or hidden or something... I'm sure that option exists. Blocking seems like an extreme measure to me, it kind of suggests that you want nothing to do with him. You could even log in and just not chat to him until he initiates something, if you find that you are short on options.

I say take a step back for a while and let her do the chasing. If she is genuinely interested in you then she will get in touch. I can't think of any better advice to apply to your situation, if you continue to make the moves then she will know that she has you under her thumb - don't play the fool because you'll only get hurt.

If he has a new girlfriend then don't contact him again, it will only make you feel worse when he doesn't reply or replies with an emotionally empty message. I hate relationship mind games like the no cantact rule, it should be obvious when someone is not interested in you any more. I wish I could be of more help but I'm inexperienced in this sort of thing.

Personally, I try not to plan things like asking out a girl, it makes me nervous... I would just do it when there is an oportunity, if none arise then make one arise - tell her that you would like to speak to her in private or something. Don't ponder - just go for it!

Well, its a lot of money but if you trust them all then pay the whole bill with your AMEX card and tell them that they can pay you back. It sounds really risky - I know! Would it really be such a hassle to goto an ATM? Afterall, they are pretty much all over the place. I'm of the same opinion as you that its kind of crap that someone gives you that look, it makes you feel bad and you aren't even doing anything wrong. I don't know what the situation is, like if you all order something different but split the total cost equally, then I would just pay the equal amount... hmmm... I wouldn't worry about it too much - its their problem, and anyway - if they are friends then shouldn't they understand!?

I won't pretend to fully understand what you are going through but I can tell it must be a very stressful time. I love my mother - without her I would not be where I am today, so I can understand from that perspective, what it must be like to loose her. I've never had a partner, at least not one worth mentioning, but I would follow kuhl282000's advice regarding sending her a letter or something. I think she has said in no uncertian terms that she doesn't want to be with you like that, so tell her that you understand that its over. Don't be reminisent, because that will cloud her's and your judgement, from the sounds of it, what your relationship needs is closure. Remember; what doesn't kill you makes you stronger - you are gonna be one hell of a strong person after this. In the mean time, mourn for your mother and then start rebuilding yourself.

Whew... that actually comes as a relief, I just wasn't sure what women expect and I didn't want her to think I wasn't interested just because I didn't kiss her. Anyway thanks for the advice!

If what you say is true then perhaps you should break up, but you should think about how to settle the rent and stuff before you tell her you want to break up... believe me, she may or may not care about the end of your relationship but either way you will have the answers to the questions she is going to ask about moving out, rent etc... Think about why you are attracted to her... she may have opposite interests but is it her nature you're attracted to? Does she have a caring, kind attitude? if you can't think of anything then perhaps its time to go your separate ways - you will eventaully feel stagnated (if you don't already) if you let it go on much longer.

I'm probably not the best person to ask because I have next to no experience in this sort of thing and your situation sounds really complicated. What I would do is be honest; tell her that you trust her (if you do), don't accuse her of anything, tell her that you will not be judgemental and that you would like to share more time together. Tell her that she does not need to hide things from you. - If the ex is acting as a friend then she has nothing to hide - right? Anyway, try to do more stuff together and figure out if you are right for each other in the long run, figure out your feelings for her, but be prepared for the possibility that she may not reciprocate. Don't just assume that because there are other love interests on the scene that you are destined to fail, or should be with someone else. In relationships that last, people have to work together.

That is a tough one. Not all men think the same or want the same things from a woman. I think the chances are that he is trying to do the right thing by the other woman and he is regretting getting her pregnant because he *may* have wanted to be with you but from what you write I get the feeling that the other woman doesn't know about you and him, which is bad news. I feel that physical contact, for me anyway, does help enforce and strengthen a relationship but that doesn't neccesarily mean sex. Physical contact can just mean holding hands, giving a massage or laying on each other while relaxing, watching the TV or whatever. Personally, I think that if the guy is married you should give it up - if marriage to you means until death do us part (and from the sound of your culture, it does) you should know that nothing good could ever come from your interferring. Hate to coin the phrase but; there are plenty more stars in the sky.

Well following an extended period of inactivity, a girl I have met finally emailed me and asked if I wanted to go out with her again, which I am elated at! Its probably too early to tell but I think our relationship will be a fairly gradual one, but I am uncertian. I would like to get more intimate with her, perhaps a kiss but the only time I have ever kissed a girl was when I was 9 or something! I guess I have three questions, first; does a girl want, even expect intimate contact on a second date? second; is there such a thing as a girl boy relationship where intimate contact comes pretty far into the relationship? third (this might be a long shot); how do I go about kissing her!? I guess everyone has their own preferences but any advice would be much appreciated.

I'm in pretty much the same boat as you except i'm younger at 22. I wouldn't worry too much about finding a partner because there are a lot of thirty year olds out there who are still looking - that seems to be the common age for some people to want to settle down and start a family. As for the job issuses, I recommend that you do some Volunteering. Get in touch with your local council and they should be able to point you to a Volunteering organisation. The work you do can help a lot of people, you will begin to feel needed and its good experience to put on your CV/Resume. I'm currently Volunteering so that I have something to do with my time besides searching for a job, which can be demoralising, this way I get to use my skills, gain experience, help people out, do some networking - getting to know people who may just recommend you for a job down the line, plus you can put them down as a referee on your CV/Resume. I currently have no girlfriend and having someone to confide in is very important, if you have no family either you can ask about talking to a 'mentor' - again ask your council about this. As for meeting someone special - just put yourself out there more. Just remember that there are always people out there who are willing to help you, no matter what your problem. You have to take the initiative and ask. The first step to solving a problem is admitting that one exists. I agree with the gym thing, and keeping active in general - scientifically it releases chemicals in your blood stream which make you feel better. An active body maintains an active mind.

I agree with the frustration thing, I'm a guy and I have dyed my hair before - it was a natural colour - auburn. I'm not to confident about my current love interest so if it goes askew I think I'll dye my hair red

I've been in contact with a girl via e-mail. When we first started we were replying to each other within a couple of days each way, she has a job as a finance clerk and seems to be pretty busy but she still managed to reply fairly often. She took the plunge and asked to meet me and I agreed - I thought our date went well on the whole and she said she would be in touch. I believe that she is an honest person so I trusted her. However I have since been told that this is a common shrug-off. I droped her an e-mail just to say that I had a nice time and I would like to see her again, however she replied and stated that she was busy all that week and that she would get in touch soon, so I stated that I was free pretty much anytime if she wanted to see me again. Its now been a week since her last email. Should I take the hint and call it quits, or is there no hint to take and I'm just over-reading the situation? Just looking for advice is all - any guys that were is a similar situation would be a big help and any girls who might be able to give me an insight would be nice. Thanks.

Whenever anyone asks me, if you could be any age again, what age would you choose? I always say 17. I believe that 17 is the age when a boy turns into a man, it is thereforeeee only natural that you are having these feelings. For me it was all about the meaning of life and what kind of person I would be. The most important thing to remember is that you can't have anyone tell you the answers to your questions - you have to figure them out for yourself because only you can answer them to a level satisfactory to your expectations. It will take you time and your thoughts and opinions will most likely change but you have to remember that this is a change in *you*. If you talk to your girlfriend about it then she will know what is going on and she won't feel neglected or in the shade.

I think that playing games (relationship games that is) and following 'rules' is not the way to go. You must act as you feel and be true to yourself. From the sounds of things I would definitely spend some time apart if I were you, but tell her this and tell her you believe it is in both your best interests - 60 days is a long time! Anyone can give advice - but even with all the advice in the world you still have to think for yourself. Anyway as a general pointer; stop playing video games as much and spend more time with her. If you have a job that involves you using your computer then you may have to resign yourself to the fact that; what once was a pastime is now a job, you should thereforeeee treat it as such - a means to an end.

You're obviously in love with this woman, but would you have willingly fallen in love with her in the first place if you knew she was going to do this to you? Some people are like that - what's to say she won't dump the guy that she is with now a few months down the road? I second suzsmith123's viewpoint; If she made no effort to communicate this problem then she obviously didn't care about the relationship enough to try to salvage it, hence you are better off without her.