tough_girl

I guess that says it all. She's probably after your money. I know that you do love her a lot but you'll eventually get over it. Don't worry.

Well, I think you should look out for more signs and the signals she sends to you. Does she tend to spend a lot when she's with you? Or does money matters a lot to her? I guess you'll have to do a little more observing before making your choice and decision.

I think that she's just not very comfortable with you. I don't mean only you, i mean with guys. I feel like sometimes I can't even tell my girl friends my problem, let alone my male friends. Maybe you'll have to know her better before she confides in you.

Hi again, Pat.So, I guess Peter did take that night a little too lightly. I guess all you can do now is wait for his reponse. If you're 35, how old is Mary? I mean he might want a mother figure in Mary too. Well, I think you did the right thing about telling him. You definitely won't have a relationship with him, if you don't let him know how you feel. So now you've taken the first step, all you can do is wait. Try to ease your loneliness by doing something,rather than just thinking about him. Maybe he doesn't read his e-mail that often too. And I have to admit, sometimes I even lost my password to my e-mail. Well, how about your friendship with Mary? Have you told her? If you're going to tell her, don't try to get too much information from her or else it might be betrayal to her and she might not want to have anything to do with you. I mean when you say that Mary told you he hardly ever answers his phone,it's like usng that piece of information against her. Anyway, don't worry,be happy!

I think you shouldn't give that present to her since she has misinterpreted before. Giving her the present would only rise her hopes for your relationship. As for the e-mail, I think you should reply it or else she might think that you can't face her because she found out. Let her down gently, don't drop her from the sky. Maybe you could end the e-mail with ' We can still be friends'.

Well, I think you should stop talking to the Emily then since her friend sent you that letter. Sometimes it might be true. Sometimes it might be because her friend is just jealous that Emily has got a guy who woulod do anything for her. I don't know but i guess you have to play it by the ear. Anyway, if you have to leave her,don't feel so hurt. She's not the only girl in the whole world. Then, try to keep your mind away from her. Go for sports or gathering with friends or whatever. Well, when you meet Mary, be strong and try not to let her win. If she doesn't have any evidence, it's going to be your word against hers. But if everybody thinks that you're a jerk, leave them because you're not. I know that this is very hard. Last year my best friend turned her back on me. Then I don't know what she said to my other friends and they too turned on me. I practically had no friends in school when I was in my worst state. My grandmother had just passed away that time. I think I babbled too much. Anyway I wish you good luck with your confrontation.

Thanks for the reply,neva_black_n_white. It did help a lot. Anyway, the dream was a good one. He was waiting for me somewhere and I think I was supposed to be his date. I hate to admit it but I do fantasize sometimes,too. I don't think that we can go further than best friends because we are still under our parents noses. I can say that they won't be very pleased.*sigh

Oh, Johny! I just have to say how lucky you are.. I wish my mother is like that too. I think you should have a talk with her. Tell her how she's making you go ballistc but sometimes you need to control your own anger. It's not because she doesn't have a backbone, she loves you so much. It sounds like you're the only child and your father isn't in the picture. If it's like this, it's obvious how much you mean to her, if you're the only close relative to her. You need to understand her needs too. Now that she's growing old, she might feel useless and wishes to help her only child. To feel important, she doesn't want you to do the chores, so that she could do that by her own. She bought you a new computer, hoping that you would thank her and once again she would feel important. There are things that might just drive you insane and irritate you but when you start to think and understand the other party involved, you'll feel that it's not that bad after all. Love your mother while she is still around, do not only grieve when she is gone. I hope this advise helped. Wish you good luck.

I don't even know if this is a problem. Here it is. I'm a young teenager. There is this guy,who is my ex-schoolmate. We don't really meet after I changed school.But recently we get glances at each other during very short meetings when we need to concentrate on something else. At first, I felt nothing. It was my fault I started teasing my friend after I saw her talking to a guy I thought was suitable for her. Then it was my turn to get teased and of all the people there she put me with him. Grr.... I denied it. Then my female friend, G1 has some friends too that get to meet him. They start to spread rumours until that guy thought I liked him,too. He didn't confront me and started to shy away. He has a few male friends at our meeting too and they started teasing him,too. I feel so guilty, after all it's my fault. I don't really feel a lot for him but I found myself avoiding him. Everytime there is another meeting, I dread to go.Sometimes, my heart just beats a little faster to see him.I just don't know why. He even appeared in my dream when I was asleep. Wonder what's wrong with me? I usually don't worry about this things because I feel like every guy is not enough for me and I soon manage to push the thought out of my head. Please give me some advise on what I should do. Get him out of my dreams. Have you any idea what I'm feeling here?

Yeah.. DREAM, don't rush your marriage. I'M an Asian girl too and my family doesn't seem to pressure this kind of marriage. They too want to see me happy than getting married early. I know that our parents wants the best for us but at times they push us too much. I'm in pre-depression because of them. I hope that doesn't happen to you too. Just take it slow and play by the ear. Like someone said just now, You're the one getting married and not your family. Good luck.

Hi,CustomX. I think I understand how you feel. You feel awful and as if nobody cares but don't forget even if your ex-girlfriend doesn't cares, at least your parents might care about you. I think you should get moral support from your close friends, close relatives or a nearby organisation with the people who has same problems with you. When you talk to them, you'll learn how to forget your own woes and continue your life. Don't throw away your precious life when you have it. Have you any idea that there're many people battling cancer and other forms of disease? They have tried their best to hold on to life yet they some of them have failed. When you are a healthy man and have a long road in front of you, the solution is not suicide. WHat a waste it would be when you still have so much years left in you. If your oppourtunity was given to one of the people who suffered uncurable diseases, do you know how they would have cherished it? The only thing is that it belongs to you and can never be taken away from you. So, you should appreciate your life and go on with it. Having a lover is not all. I haven't got one and never had but I'm still happy with myself and not attempting suicide. Since you have the holiday, why don't you do something you like? Like surfing, watching tv or whatever you like to fill your time? Maybe you'll meet your right girl during some of those sports? I wish you good luck with your life! Don't give up no matter what! If your ex-girlfriend wants you to feel jealous, show her how good you'll do without her!

You're welcome for the advise. I just wanted to help you at your state. I felt awful too when a trusted friend of mine turned her back on me. I suffered depression but I'm okay right now. You don't have to push yourself on your new job. Just take it easy if you can't cope and then eventually give it your all. Who knows if you might meet someone there? I'm sorry to hear that you're not looking forward to the 'happy new year' but it's alright to feel this way. I'm looking forward to the new year because a new year means that we can leave our past behind us and start a new life or chapter of our life. Done is done but our future is still ours to decide before it's too late. I can't celebrate my own new year this year because my granmother passed away on July and it's tradition not to celebrate our new year for 1 or 3 years. So, since you can celebrate your new year, I hope you will be as happy as you can be. Don't think of yourself as the weakest human in the world. If you're feeling so bad here, how do the children and people in Iraaq feels? So, I do hope you'll stop feeling sorry for yourself and be a strong woman who will survive any situation you are in. I wish you good luck again and happy new year if you think I should.

Don't worry kfh. You'll be fine. As for your husband, I don't really think he's going back to you for nothing. Sometimes his girl friend might have threatened him and he feels scared of the uncertainties of his new relationship. He wants to have the best of two worlds and that is very selfish. I can only say but can't do much and we all shall support you no matter what your decision. If you decide to take him in if he asks, then I hope you'll be happy. I trust that you're a very determined and level-headed woman and I'm sure that you can get through any situation that you're in. All that you need is time. Time can cure pain if you let it.I believe that you're a tough woman, good wife and great mother, just that you're ex-husband is too blind to see this in you. Don't convince yourself that its your lost, but its his lost. If you intend to get on with your life, I have a few advises for you. I truly think that you should move on. First of all, get a job and improve your self-esteem if you don't already have one. Then you'll have a new circle of friends and you won't feel do depressed. Moving on at first will seem painful. Yes, you might get depressed but not for long. You'll get better if you want to. As for the guys in your life, I admit that it's going to be hard to find a nice guy who'll love you for who you are and most will try to take advantage of you. If there is one that is going to take advantage of you, just ask them to get lost. They think that divorcees are easy to bully, so give them a piece of your and my mind! That's the bad news but here's the good news. With these guys looking at you as if you're a rejected product, you are saved from what other young girls are going through with wrong-guys. You are DESTINED to find someone to share your life with. It will happen with time and if you allow yourself to let go of your ex and move on with your life. Love will ease the pain for you and your new lover if he's the true man of your life. It will happen one day with the Right-Guy who is prepared to give anything for you and your children. However, in your search for a father for your children, do not be too desperate, as I told you, it will come with time. Make sure you do not neglect the needs of your innocent children who are not capable of fending for themself and relies on you. I think that you should stop trying to get him back to your life. You damage your self-esteem everytime he rejects you. I know it makes you feel like a fool when he does, so stop it. He probably rejects you everytime so that he could damage your self-esteem and he is always triumphant because you allowed it. So stop letting him hurt you anymore. Everytime you see or think of him with his girlfriend, think of how he abandoned you at your condition. Think of his betrayal and how history will repeat itself and maybe one day he will betray his girlfriend. If you really find it hard to get on with your life alone, find a close relative or friend. If you don't have one or if you want some extra support, I suggest that you join some of the women groups in your area or in the internet. I hope this review has helped you in any way. I wish you good luck with your life and a very Happy New Year!

Hi again and Happy New Year Well, what I think is that if you want her,go get her. Don't wait for your career first. By that time, she might think that you're no longer interested. Then again, it comes to your career. Its ok for you not to have a career to go after a girl. Just make sure you're responsible enough to handle a relationship. You might have neglected her sometime ago but don't let it happen again. If this girl isn't a materialistic one, she wouldn't mind just going out for walks with you even if you can't afford to buy her drinks. She could be with you and support you throughout your career building. I hope this advise helps. Wish you a very Happy New Year and Good Luck!

Well,though our highly technology world is fantastic, it does have its fault too. He could have signed off to avoid you but he could have been disconnected to the internet too and couldn't sign in again. There are some other possibilities of disturbance too. I hope this helped you.

I do agree with akatoro. You should wait for engagement time to get to know him better since you only knew him for 9 months. It would also test your relationship to see if it has what it needs to turn out in a happy life. I hope this has helped.

Thanks,SweetypieEnlightenedOne for your advise. If only I know how to get this through my mother's head. I can't show her this because she doesn't like the idea of me being online let alone coming here to sought out my problems, from (what she calls strangers). But I do trust every advise you guys would give me.

Good to hear that! Good luck to you!

Sorry I forgot to add a quote to the previous post. Quote: The person who asks is a fool for five minutes, the person who keeps his mouth shut is fool for life- chinese proverb hope it helps

I think she's giving you a hint. Asking you why you didn't do this when you two were still in the realtionship. Maybe she had left you because she thought that you wouldn't be able to change but now that you've proven her wrong, she's starting to give the second chance. I don't think it could be mere coincidence that she'd gone to that park with her dog. From my point of view, I think she intends to bump into you. So, I think you two still have some hope. Take her out for dinner or something if you're interested in continuing this relationship. Then maybe you could ask her how she feels and others. I hope this works and it has helped.

Hi.. First of all, I would like to say no offence to avman. Well, in the first place why in the world did you introduce this guy to a friend when you liked him so much? Okay, done is done. I know how you feel about betraying your friend because I have been betrayed before and it hurt very much. My advise would be to give that lucky guy and yourself a chance. I would say that he is very interested in you. Any plain guy would have given up trying to get you out of your house. As for your friend, you can tell her if you want to or if you feel like you need to. I actually think you have to. If she is a true friend, she would understand this and stand by you and also support you. Maybe you would have to do some explaining that you'd like him before and ...... If she starts hurling insults at you, I suggest you leave her out of your life. There is a quote saying that 'All's fair in love and war'. If you want that man go and fight for him! Cheers for you!

Hi... I did write in my previous post that I'm not in the right state of mind to respond to any of the problems here but I just can't bear to let you be used by another guy. So, here's my point of view. The first thing I think is that you need to follow your heart. Do whatever it tells you do. However I know that when we're disturbed, we can't think right. So, if you're in the right frame of mind, do as it tells you but if you're not look at our replies and carry out the one you feel is best for you. I think that either this guy wants you to get jealous or he really has a girl in Texas. Or maybe both. From the way you wrote this, I could tell that you don't really like and trust this guy anymore. Why don't you tell me what would you think of a guy if he dumps and take you back on the same day? You don't seem to trust and love this guy by the way you describe him. In a relationship where there is no trust and love, it will not thrive. A man that makes you jealous instead of claming you is not a description of a good friend, let alone a boyfriend. That's all I can say, so do whatever you think is right for you. Dump him or make him jealous or whatever as long as it isn't a crime, do it. I hope this helped.

Well, though I haven't been in love before I've heard what it could do to people. I've read a few stories of wifes who have been dumped and I feel that you should reconsider a few things if you want to be with him again. Think about how he treated you when he left you. If he really comes back to you, will you trust him anymore? Everytime he sleeps with you, will he be thinking about another girl? You might also question him about his fedelity again and again. You'll also be wondering everytime he says he has overtime , is he having a fling with someone else?What about your children? Will they be able to accept their father again? How would they feel about him if they're big enough to understand? If you can't tolerate the above then I think you should just forget about him. Of course it doesn't happen overnight. Try to forget about him. I know that you might feel presured now but never take your pressure out on your innocent children. Think about them when you're making a choice that would affect them. They are your blood and flesh. They will forever be your children but sometimes your husband may not be forever your husband. I hope this has helped.

I'm in my early years of being a teenager but my parents just doesn't seem to trust me. They don't let me out with friends and things but I don't really mind. Then next they start ignoring me and go for my brother more. Worse still in my place now its holiday, so I practically have no one to talk to except for my brother who teases me with every word we exchange. I fell like I'm going crazy. Sometimes I feel very depressed. I cry very often and usually I do not know the answer why. I don't know how to ease my pain. When I let my parents know about it, they'll just tell me I'll be alright. They refuse to take me to a psychologist because my mum once worked in a hospital and has some nurses for friends. She's afraid her friends will gossip about me. She is a person who believes that everybody that sees a psycologist has a screw lose. I tried to explain to her but she doesn't want to listen. My school will be reopening soon, so I'll have some friends again. However I don't know why dread it so much. I lost my only bestfriend last year and she's now in another group of friends and not in my class. Those girls who'll be in my class are very proud and self-centered. I just don't know what to do. I'll also have a major exam in 2004. I wonder how I'll cope. My mum is very hot-tempered these days and when she gets mad, I'm the victim. I think she does that because she thinks I'm the weakest in the family. I apologised for not answering other people's problems because I don't think I'm in the right state to decide. Thank you for reading this. Replying would be like a saint.

In my last post, I have stated that my mum would take me for a check-up. But it happens on that day the doctor would not be available. So, my parents, I figure as scared as I am has decided not to take me for the checkup. Should I insist on going?? I'm so confused..... I know most people will ask me to go for it but I'm scared... I feel like something is wrong with me but it is also logical that I'm sick because of me worrying too much and being lonely. My parents fear that the doctors in my place would not be truthful. Most of them seems only to care about money. We have faced that quite a lot of times in my family. As for the many problems I faced, my mother still stays firm with her decision not to let me see the psychologist. The answer she gave me for my question why she would not let me see the psychologist was logical. But I really don't know what to do. She assumes that I want to see the psychologist just because of a problem, which is not true. I have tried speaking to her but she just would not listen. She says that I do not need the psychologist. I can't go to the school counsellor now as it's a school holiday in my country. And I'm not a christian. Seeing that my mother objects me seeing a psychologist, she wouldn't let me go to church for help too. I don't know what to do. Please help. Thanks.