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Maverick44

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Everything posted by Maverick44

  1. Maverick44
    She's still getting over you. Unfortunately, it sounds like you still want her back and you're hurting because of what she's doing. Wish you could use NC. I think what you have to do is move on yourself. Work out, find some hobbies. Then, along with that DATE! Hang out with other women/people. Just because you date doesn't mean you will be romatically involved with all of them but it does help you expand your circle of friends (girls). Best of Luck, Maverick
  2. Maverick44
    I'm sure he cares for the girl, Juju. That's not the issue here. The issue is that the girl doesn't want a relationship. As we all know after coming to this forum, you cannot change someone's free will. Oh you can manipulate but eventually that will catch up to you. So, since the girl doesn't want a relationship, what's he supposed to do? Dwell? Be sad and/or upset about it. No. I don't see how that has any benefit at all to him. So, his other alternatives are to: 1. Wait and see as you suggested and be on the fence the entire time, putting himself at risk of being hurt when in the end she could just say that she told him that she didn't want a relationship. OR 2. Enjoy what he has right now with her. It might not be much but he gets to be with her. Expect that it won't last because that way he doesn't put himself at harm. OR 3. If it's an overly sensitive issue for him, then back off completely. Tell the girl he can't deal with it the way it is and just not have the drama in his life. You might think I'm a dirtbag, I think I'm a realist. I'd say to enjoy the time he does spend with her and if sexual relations are a part of it, this is wrong for a guy to admit?? Sorry - I don't see it that way. BUT, if a dirtbag I am, , call me "Mud" Good Luck again to you Notachance! Maverick
  3. Maverick44
    Ummm.........Enjoy??
  4. Maverick44
    I think that once in awhile contact is permissible. Sorry, but that's my opinion. If they both have gone through their phase of dealing with the break-up and are friends, I don't see the issue. I can see why you'd feel like that, though. Maverick
  5. Maverick44
    You're getting ahead of yourself. If you have to be b****ing someone out to get them to see your way, isn't it too difficult? I don't know. I guess I just wouldn't want to deal with it if it was getting on my nerves. Maverick
  6. Maverick44
    taylorb said: I'll 2nd, third, and 4th that Maverick
  7. Maverick44
    taylorb, I can see where you're coming from. It's nice to be asked out and desired. The thing is, I guess for you, I would think that why not date a few others as well. You're not being a "player" or a "bad girl" for doing that. You're being single. You're entitled to go out with different ppl and see now what you haven't for the time you were with someone. BTW, going out and 'dating' doesn't mean you kiss every single guy either. This allows you to move things forward if you'd like and do it slowly. Honestly, I take it very slow lately. I just hang out with different girls but I don't pursue girlfriends right now. If he asks you out, great, but you know what? Don't hold out for him. If he doesn't ask you out, it's his loss. I'd say just keep your options open as well. Good Luck! Maverick
  8. Maverick44
    taylorb, Are you looking for another "relationship" so quickly? The guy didn't ask, not because he's not interested, but maybe the following: 1. He's a little shy and doesn't want to come accross too strong. 2. He may be "playing" a little hard to get 3. Figures he might see you at the party. If he's "playing games", you might not want to play and that is your right, but I guess in my experience, that's what ppl do. You just got out of a relationship, do you really want to jump right back in where he's out with you "every week"? I don't know. I date ppl but that's it right now. I don't really want another "relationship". They're nice but I'm not ready. So, I wonder if you are as well. Obviously, you're a little senstive to these things right now and that should let you know if you're ready or not for a relationship. It seems to be having more of an effect than it usually would, no? Good Luck! Maverick
  9. Maverick44
    Hey man, I know you're hurting over this. I think we've all, in one way or another, been there and can relate. But, she wants a break. You've done the right thing by giving it to her. Did you want to? No. But you did. Now, like you said, the thing you can do is let her live her life and you do yours. That means that YOU must now start working on things for yourself. That means YOU must now date other women. That means YOU must now get into your hobbies and things you like. You are going to have to move on past this girl and become a strong person so that by the time she comes back in a month and a half, you are not cow-towing to everything she wants. Because if you do that, she probably won't want to come back anyways. My suggestion is that you take a few steps back from this. Look at the big picture. I know you wanted to spend your life with her. Unfortunately, she, out of free will, chose this path. Give her the path she chose and now make your own path as you must or if you try to force her from that path she will resent you. She knows how you feel. Believe that. She knows you hurt. I'm sure you've told her you didn't want this. But she knows. I don't see what else you should do. Good Luck, Maverick
  10. Maverick44
    Sorry, man. It looks like she has considered it a firm break-up. I don't know what to tell you but I do know I understand your pain. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I would suggest you move on. I guess for me, I would have the idea in my head that there is going to be someone else when I do see her again so I might as well move on. Good Luck, Maverick
  11. Maverick44
    Hey, Sometimes things just bite big time, man! You know, I dated a girl for 6 years. We had the whole high-school thing going on too. We were together from almost 18 years old each. Crazy, eh? So, what do I think you should do? I agree with Mar. You've done what you needed to do already. I'd say you should probably accept that it's over. It seems she has. She seems to be sending you that message. I know it aggravates you and makes you mad because it would do that to me. Think of it in a way that it is over and she WON'T be changing her mind. Maybe she isn't coming straight-out and telling you verbally but her non-verbal signals/actions are totally indicating it, eh? I think you should just tell her - "Hey, I've loved what we've had. I hate to see it end but I really hate to see it come to a grinding almost wanting to beat each other end. We've had a great relationship and time and to tarnish it by being together and trying to work through this when it doesn't seem likely just isn't working. I think we take time apart, dating other people, and if we do get back together, great, but let's not focus on that anymore." Personally, for me, I think that's the better approach. And for me, I think you need to do No Contact, for awhile, once it is over. It's for your own well-being. As for not knowing/having anyone around, you need to get involved in various groups/outings. You already have the gym down. Continue to do that. It does help. I know it sucks and you will feel like you don't WANT to go without her but really, this seems like a choice you can either make or it will be thrust upon you. You might think that she's out dating others or whatnot but don't bother asking because why? If she is, that bites. If she isn't, then what?? Idea of hope? When or if she wants to come back, she'll let you know. Sorry about rambling a bit. Good Luck, Maverick
  12. Maverick44
    Dude, Seems like you're pretty close to your grandma. Look, religion is an issue that some people pick up earlier than others. It's great for those that get involved early but for some us, it comes later where we think of our relationship with God and then make the choices regarding religion which impact the rest of our life. What I'm getting at is this - if you're not ready to embrace Buddhism or Catholicism or Chistianity or whatever at this time, that is fine but you shouldn't be scared to say that. Of course, if you tell your gf that she will say "Well then, try this because etc..." and this is where you tell the truth - "You know, I'm not ready to really embrace this part yet but I know I will one day. I don't even really attend to my buddhism as my grandmother would like because I am somewhat confused etc.." Not to mention that your grandma would have disappointment in your choice until you come up with a better reason than just your gf wanted you to. Good Luck, Maverick
  13. Maverick44
    Hey danimal, Just wanted to point out that I can see why you'd say you don't support NC for getting your ex back. I don't support NC for getting your ex back either! I support NC because I think it is MY best chance for getting over an ex. I know for me that if I would have been in constant contact with my ex then I would have been hindering and slowing my life for her. It's not that I think she'll call or come back but I did and she did want to move on. By us keeping in contact, especially in a pathetic state, she'll probably NOT want to come back and what happens to the other if her or I were to find another person while in contact? I think it would have created alot of undue pain. Better to not know in my book. Sounds like you handled yourself well when talking to your ex recently. Honestly, I don't know if I would have done the same in your shoes at that point in time. Probably not. thereforeeee, again, for me it was better to stay away despite the pain it caused at that time. Just wanted to provide my input! Thanks! Maverick
  14. Maverick44
    Hey taylor, Realize that breakups are just hard. All of us here in one way or another have gone through a breakup. You're not alone and we are all here to help you in whatever way we can. As for getting over him, this is going to require you to like yourself again. Do you like the things you do? What do you do for fun? What do you do with your friends to help enjoy life a bit more? For me, I liked going to the gym! I liked getting back into shape. I also like hanging out with my friends and going and grabbing a beer. I liked getting into my business ventures and shaping things that way. Those things kept me interested in my life and enjoying myself. Do I dwell and think about my ex(es). From time to time, I do. And I have a tough time because of it. But I come to realize that I should continue my path and enjoy myself. Because I've been the one person there for me all the time Good Luck, Maverick
  15. Maverick44
    I wouldn't dwell on it too much. She put your email on a mailing list? Hey, she stood you up. Until she steps up and makes it known to you that she's interested start looking elsewhere. Don't sweat this girl. She probably put you on her email mailing list because that's just what some ppl do. Don't look much more into it than that unless she gives you reason to and even then don't look much into it. I'm not one much for trying to interpret every little thing because whenever I try to do that, I end up WAY off base. So, I'm more of one who you really have to clobber me over the head to have me see something. Good Luck! Maverick
  16. Maverick44
    Hey man, This is the equivalent of you living in your own drama! If you want to have this girl in your life, you are allowing drama (heartache, mind wonderings, etc) into your life. Now, it looks like you don't want to deal with that! Fair enough - Hell, I wouldn't! So here is your choice, you ask what to do? I can only tell you what I would do. I'd walk away. 2.5 years, eh? Hey man, she walked away first. You want to hang around for when she dates someone else? Just pick yourself up off the ground right now (trust me, I know how it feels), dust yourself off, tell her in a calm, kind, and non-threatening way that you really don't want to deal with this complication right now. Also, tell her that she can call you when she has the money to pay you back (really, what are you going to do? Hound her until she pays you back? Sounds like a way of you keeping her in your life to be honest). Then, check back every so often for the money. (When I mean every so often, I mean like maybe once a month, you know?) That's what I would do. I know it's hard I know I might sound cutthroat but what I'm telling you is that for me this is what I have to do. It hurts but I don't want to deal with drama or with a woman going off to date some other guy while I'm still pining for her. Honestly, I'd rather not know and not be there. Good Luck! Maverick P.S. Sorry - I just read you wanted female advice. My apologies.
  17. Maverick44
    I agree with sisterlynch. You don't reveal it. Even if it is eating away inside of you, who are you healing? Her or yourself? You can make each other happy, right? You made a mistake. Would you do it again? If you are going to do it again at some point, then you STILL don't tell and end the relationship. Love, to me, is knowing you will be tempted and still not giving into the temptation. It's a choice a person makes. It's not automatic. If you want to make things work with this person, then you don't tell anyways because things will most likely end. If you can't live with what you've done, then end it anyways. But don't tell her the real reason. She will not be happy and you are causing her MORE pain and heartache than just breaking things up. Just look to see why you want to tell. Maverick
  18. Maverick44
    Yeah, walk away! Tell her - Hey, deal is done. Sorry you feel I did something underhanded but it wasn't intentional. Then tell her that you don't really want to talk/think about it anymore (because honestly do you???). Say good luck and take care. Do it via email or whatever "typing" thing you guys are using to talk to each other. I'd say email becuase in this case you really don't want to give her a chance to talk back. BTW, don't make it a long email. Just make it quick, short, and civil. Then, don't "chat" with her via email/messenger/phone any longer because buddy, you are just causing yourself grief and heartache. Mind you, this grief will be there the longer you continue to talk with her. It will only subside when you finally try to "move on" and eventually do. Good Luck, Maverick
  19. Maverick44
    I personally think you need to drop her. She's your gf and she's making out with another guy???? Why would you want her? Look, man - sooner or later, she's going to come up and tell you she had sex with another guy and you're going to be thinking that it must not have meant something because she was honest with you? You've had a great relationship but have grown apart. Let her have her time, freedom, and space. She will miss you - you'll miss her too but in the end, you'll move on. Do that and date other girls. Good luck, Maverick
  20. Maverick44
    Besides be a jerk who you probably don't really want to deal with? No, I don't know. I think his actions are silly and to expect you to be kind to him after those actions is ridiculous. People have some sense of decency - maybe he feels bad for having hurt you. Still, I don't like the idea of him saying "Yeah, I have more fun with her..etc.." It shows a lack of respect, tact, and maturity. Do you really want to deal with that? Maverick
  21. Maverick44
    I've been on no contact for about 7 months with my most recent ex. No contact works for me because it has helped me to move on with my life. She's not back in my life and from time to time I'll reminisce but looking back there are some things that were not fixable unless she changed and she wouldn't. It's not to say she is a bad person but that's just the way it is. I really think No Contact has to be looked at as a way of you moving on witn your life. Don't use it as a way of "getting back" at someone or "getting back" with someone. You have a life to live and when a breakup occurs, it causes some emotional imbalance. No Contact helps restore (at least me) to some emotional balance. I feel back in control of my emotions again and I'm not doing it to get back at her but am instead doing it for my well being and enjoyment of MY life! I personally think that's how No Contact should be used. Maverick
  22. Maverick44
    Yes, it's wrong! Doesn't matter if you're a freshman or old man - you need to have your own set of friends that you go out with, have a good time with as well. This also means that you need to go out and date. I'm sure you two are great friends now but that's where its at. What happens if 5 months down the line, she comes back and tells you she's seeing someone? You'll have been waiting all this time and that little feeling you had about her being in control will have been right. So, you have to take some control for yourself. Talk to her but move on. Date others. Have a good time. You're going to be waiting for her? Tricky, Tricky! I hope the best for you. Maverick
  23. Maverick44
    Hey man, Do you really want to deal with this? Walk away. She sounds like she will continue to play mindgames. Either way, keep her as a friend. Treat her as a friend and you'll be fine. But if she comes onto you for a relationship, considering how confusing she is just as a friend! I don't think it stops when a girl becomes a girlfriend, eh? Maverick
  24. Maverick44

    Closed

    Maverick44 replied to NinjaLink's topic in Dating Advice

    Dude, "You do you, and I'll do me" to me means you do what YOU have to do for yourself and she'll do what she feels she has to do for herself. You know, man, I think all of us have had that feeling - "Oh, this is the right girl for me and there won't be others, etc.." but as great as a relationship is with someone, realize that there are others out there. You won't find them right away (at least I usually don't) but in time, as you heal, and begin to enjoy yourself, you'll see some good potential that could develop. If you feel you're out of the loop with this girl, then back off and do exactly what she asked - Go do your own things and live your life and she'll do the same. See, the thing is, something with the bf may happen with you or without you in the picture. I don't know how serious you guys are or how long you've been dating but for me, quite honestly, I'd rather not be in the picture. The sitution you described doesn't seem like a closed one. Go do your thing, enjoy yourself. If she's making plans to see the guy over the summer, I suggest you start making your plans to see someone and hang out with different people because one of the most irritating things you would hate to hear is "Well, I've already got plans to go out with so and so......" Know what I mean? Maverick
  25. Maverick44
    Oops! Sorry! haha 8) San Francisco isn't that far away is it? Maverick
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