LittleLion24

Don't worry you're not alone when it comes to this situation. What you need to understand is that when you use online dating sites you have to be smart about dating and the type of woman you're looking for. A lot of people use online dating sites to see what options are out there because these types of sites give them options! These types of people might be prone to rushing into things, telling you the things you want to hear etc. thereforeeee, you need not rush anything and pay attention to the red flags early on because they are always there, i.e. "before we even met she must have sent about a hundred txt messages asking questions (which almost put me off)," this was your first, clear indication that this person is probably the type that is trying out her options. Her posting and updating her profile is another clear indication that she is seeking out other options (other guys!). Don't get me wrong here, I think online dating sites can be a good way to meet people as long as you are smart and wise about how you use these sites. Otherwise you could get really hurt and be turned off from dating altogether which is not good because you could miss an opportunity to date a really great woman that is looking for you too! Most of the time it's trial and error with this way of meeting people. I know this to be true because I've used online dating sites myself. Now, take what you have learned from this experience and try going out with another woman because you're now smarter and wiser. Good luck and happy hunting!

Keep doing what you're doing: DON'T ANSWER! You're probably driving her crazy which is why she keeps calling. You shouldn't put up with such immature behavior and I'm proud of you for not caving in and answering. It shows your that you're mature and a step above her.

Scotcha--those are excellent tips! You're so right! dnozzle--why are you pre-judging other single mom just because of your one bad experience with one? It's not right.

When you think you've done everything to save your marriage and nothing has changed then I would say you've done enough. Then you have to decide what's the next step you want to take.

Good idea. I'll get to work on that.

If you're a guy thinking about dating a single mom, already dating, and/or in a serious relationship with a single mom here are a few tips: 1) You absolutely, positively MUST love kids (babies,toddlers, school age, teenagers etc.) You wouldn't believe the number of guys who say they love kids only to impress. 2) You must be understanding of the fact that being a mom is, at times, overwhelming and very stressful. thereforeeee, if it seems at times that we are "complaining" or "witchin" about something it's only because we are frustrated and stressed and need to vent. 3) Recognize that you may be the only adult conversation we've had all day long. thereforeeee, don't hold it against us if we talk your ear off every now and then. 4) Be sensitive when we try to be sexy (whether we initiate sex or wear something sexy). We don't feel as confident about our bodies as we did before we had child(ren). We need to know that we're still sexy! 5) We like it when you consider us as a "hot mommy." 6) Every now and then take us out on a date that requires us to "dress up" and wear something other than mommy clothes. This helps us feel sexy and let's us know that we're a desirable woman. 7) If there is something minor in our home that needs repaired offer to fix it or find someone that can fix it. Often we are too busy with other things that the small, simple things like missing trim around a door frame get pushed to the side. Many of us probably can fix them on our own but a simple gesture like this is greatly appreciated because it's one less thing we'll have to worry about! 8) Go grocery shopping with us. This task can be dreadful because the child(ren) can make the trip to the store either a good one or a bad one. Your assistance will make the trip more efficient because we can focus on the shopping list instead of keeping Little Johnny from crawling out of the cart! 9) Don't take us to a late movie because we'll probably fall asleep in the theatre. Shoot for the early evening show instead. 10) Always hold, hug, and kiss us so we know we matter to you. Sometimes we're too busy being mommies that we forget we are human too. This is also the best way to help us destress, relax, and makes us smile inside and out. NOTE: These tips come from my own personal experience. I've been a single mommy since the day my daughter was born and it's not easy to date and have a relationship when you have kids. I hope my tips are helpful. Let me know if I left anything out!

Those construction guys in their worn jeans and sweatshirts...or if it's really cold..guys in Carhartt outerwear! Stops me in my tracks every time!

I think the first thing you need to realize is that it's going to take some time to heal. As time goes on, it will get better. You need to keep yourself busy and you need to NOT contact her. I think you're making this harder for yourself by talking to her whether that's through email, text, phone calls, morse code etc. If she contacts you, this will be hard, but you need to not pick up or respond, at least for awhile. You need some time to reflect after your long-term relationship has ended. There is nothing wrong with thinking of the good times because that's normal. But I think you need to think about what you now want even though the relationship has ended. And I don't mean "you want her" but what you want out of life? Make a list if you want. May I suggest trying to reconcile with your friends that you lost as a result of your relationship? It's a start. In the meantime, try to stay busy. Go to work, take up a new hobby, go back to your old hobby. Just don't wallow because that's how you'll make it harder on yourself.

He's probably not wondering "why isn't she chasing me?" because you two were having a fling! Now, knowing this stop feeling "low" because you're wasting your energy on something that had no meaning. It's pointless to think anymore about it. What you should learn from this "fling" experience is that you're not the type of girl that will tolerate such a thing. And that's a GOOD THING! You should be proud of yourself for recognizing this. This means you are smart and wise because you know deep down you deserve better and expect more then this type of behavior from a guy.

No, you are good enough. He's just too stupid to realize it! If he really meant to call you back when he said he would, then he would have called. Don't listen to anymore of his excuses because if you two were in a relationship that's all you'd hear whenever something came up again. You're doing the right thing by not contacting him. Just don't cave in. See how long it takes until he contacts you. If he doesn't then look at it this way, you have nothing to lose. Flings are just that, flings. If you don't like this type of behavior from a guy then stop settling for a fling. If you want to be somebody's girlfriend then go out and find another guy that wants to be your boyfriend. I'm sure there are plenty of guys that would love to be your boyfriend. Stop worrying about this guy. He's not worth your time, and he made that clear when he didn't call you back when he said he would.

I think this guy sounds like a jerk among other things. I think you need to stop worrying about what "you" did wrong because I don't think you did anything wrong. Sometimes we women have a bad habit of over analyzing everything to the point that we drive ourselves nuts! So stop driving yourself nuts and kick this guy to the curb! I think his whole "wanting an explanation about the connection between you two" and how it's different is nothing but a line, and he kissed you at that moment because he just wanted to have sex with you. From what you described his behavior screams he's just looking for a piece of you know what. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Do yourself a favor. Get rid of this guy. He isn't worth your time and energy. Let him find his piece with some other girl. You're obviously smart because the condom thing freaked you out, as it would have me. thereforeeee, be smart and get rid of him, delete his number from your cell. Trust me, you'll feel much better!

If she wants nothing to do with it then you might as well be a single dad! You don't want to have a child with a woman that will cave in at the end. You child deserves a mother that wants to be a mother. Just keep these things in mind only because my daughter doesn't know her father which is better but at the same time it is not fair to her. However, I will deal with that later on. I guess I don't understand why people stay in crummy relationships where they are giving up more than they should be. There are plenty of people out there that want the same things as you. You shouldn't accept settling as your life sentence. Just my opinion.

Please be smart. If a guy that I didn't really know kept asking me back to his house for coffee I would be a little worried. Don't put yourself in a position that could become trouble if you know what I mean. Be smart and keep your safety in check. You're the only one that knows if you're ready to date. Make sure you set the pace and don't let someone talk you into going too fast if you're not ready.

The point that stuck out to me in your story was that you WANT children and your wife DOES NOT want children. I'm no expert but I would say that is a deal breaker. Forget about everything that has happened between you two. I think the real issue with your marriage is that you want children and she doesn't. That's a HUGE issue and it doesn't sound like counseling is going to solve it either. My advice (I'm a single mom myself) if you truly want to be a dad/father and your wife doesn't not want children then you owe it to yourself to tell her that her not wanting to have children (by way of adoption in your situation) is a deal breaker. End of discussion. There are many, many children out there that need to be adopted and deserve loving families. And if you know in your heart that you will be an awesome father/dad then you should make that dream a reality (in due time). The same goes for if you truly want a child of your own. There are many women out there who also want children as much as you do, and you shouldn't spend your time being with someone that isn't willing to share in your dream of being a father/dad one day. My ex lives in my town and has seen our daughter less than 10 times since she was born. She'll be two in January. He doesn't deserve to be a father and I have learned that some people are just not made to be parents. Those types of people are too selfish and deserve to be together and not with people like us...hence that is why I am raising my baby on my own.

It sounds as if she is a very lost individual. I think you should be proud of yourself for being a "friend" to her even though you have developed feelings for her and in the end it did not turn out the way you wanted it to. Maybe she needed a "friend" like you to help her see the other side of life: the side where there are people out there that won't neglect and push her away like her on/off boyfriend has done. I know you may feel used in a way since you have been there in every way for her but try not to feel that way. I'm sure she was sincere when the two of you had your talks about life but it sounds as if she is very lost and confused herself. One thing I have learned is that no matter how lost and confused a person may be in life there is nothing you personally can do to change their feelings of loss and despair. You should be proud of yourself for being her only "true friend" but she needs to work on her and you can't do that for her. I am sure she has not forgot about your friendship and what it has meant to her. She may just need some time and "space" to figure things out on her own. She may be acting cold by saying "oh well" because she doesn't know how to feel herself because she is lost and confused. Don't hold that against her. Give her some time and space. You've made it clear that you can't be her friend anymore and that's all you can do for now. You shouldn't feel bad because nobody wants to be dragged down by another person or be put on an emotional roller coaster either. You deserve to be happy too and I'm proud that you have realized that continuing your "friendship" with her was only making you more miserable. Try to remain friendly at work when applicable and give her some time to figure herself out. You never know she might come back around.

I was just commenting that many women do think that when a guy hides their profile and I wasn't suggesting that was what you were thinking. You're probably right about why he hid his profile but now you know this so don't waste anymore of your time analyzing him. Also, many people hide their profiles because they "freak out" and realize that they really aren't ready to date either. I know this because that is what happened to me. Having my profile up on a dating site was way too much pressure so I took it down and am much happier. Happy hunting.

From my own personal experience, guys that you meet online through online dating sites are "keeping their options open" and are probably "going out" with many women because they like the thrill and attention etc. It sounds like you met Jack through an online dating site. That's cool if you want to get to know him better but just remember you met him online and thereforeeee, don't get that romantic idea in your head that just because he "hid" his profile that you're the "one." I don't understand why so many of us women take that as a sign! It absolutely means nothing. If you're going to "date" or "go out" whatever you call it with a guy that has a profile on a online dating site then you must keep the facts in mind. He's probably "going out" with many women, and probably has chemistry with many of them like you. However, he is probably unsure of which chemistry he would like to pursue. Now, knowing this you need to stop freaking out and sit back and let him make the next move. Meanwhile, you should be doing exactly what Jack is doing. Find other guys and "go out" for dinner with them. In the early stages of "dating" you need not analyze every action because you'll drive yourself crazy girl! As far as Ethan goes, wait and see how you feel once he returns. Don't put yourself in the position now to make that decision. Go out and have some fun!

I hate to say this but usually when guys get defensive when you ask them a question like "is there someone else?" etc. that usually means there is someone else, and they feel guilty so they get defensive and mean instead of being open and honest. If it's been three weeks and he's not interested that may be another sign that there is someone else. If you two do get intimate, and he tries or has any new tricks that also is a red flag. Don't apologize. I think you need to stand up for yourself and tell him you're not happy. You may not want to "break up" but it may be the best answer for now. There is no sense in making yourself anymore miserable if he won't talk to you and be with you. If he isn't willing to work on the "issues" then that means he doesn't see the relationship progressing any further. Get out now because you deserve better. Plus, if you initiate the "break up" then you'll feel much better because you'll beat him to it, and nobody likes to be the dumpee. Get yourself out before he hurts you even more.

Whatever you do do NOT drive by his work because then that is stalker-like behavior, and you don't want to act like that. Take your cell phone and put it in the trunk of your car...that way it won't be tempting you to want to call him. Leave it there until morning. Then go out and rent "Someone Like You," pop some popcorn, get in your PJs and relax. You need to do whatever to get your mind off him and focused on something else. When you return from the video store don't take your cell phone into the house. Leave it in the car. Watch a girly movie and get a good cry out. You'll feel better.

let me know if it helps.

The only thing I can offer that may help is a song. Faith Hill has a great song called "Stronger" on her "Cry" album which may give you some comfort. I know you're a guy and may not care for Faith Hill but it give it a try.

The first thing you need to do is to calm down. Relax. Take a breath. The next thing you need to think about is why do you care about your ex and what his new hunny have named their son? Why do you think this is not fair? Do you think he did it because he knew it would get you upset and angry? If the answer is yes, then you are playing right into his hand. This type of reaction is exactly what your ex wants from you. Now, knowing that you need to be smarter and stronger then him. Do not give in to playing the type of games that he is obviously playing with you. If he knows how to make you upset and enjoys taking pleasure from your pain then you need to recognize this and stop giving him what he wants. You are only hurting yourself and worse your children too. You need to be the strong parent here. Obviously your ex is irresponsible and immature. Don't waste anymore time on someone like this even though you're hurt and you have a history with him. It's understandable to be hurt and angry but don't let those things take control of your life and actions because that's exactly what he wants. You can't change what has happened. You can only change how you will deal with what has happened.

Dude that is so not cool that she had to find out from someone else. I think you better give her some time. I don't know if she'll ever forget. Forgiveness on the other hand depends on the type of person she is. She may still love you but probably needs time to figure things out. Don't put pressure on her right now. It could back fire. If she really does love you she'll get in touch with you, and you two can work things out. Wait for her to call you. Have you sincerely apologized?

Good for you. Just be careful. Any guy that blows you off for awhile and then comes back around probably has commitment issues too. Has this guy ever been married? If you want to get to know him also be careful. If he doesn't appear to be interested in getting to know you too, then don't waste anymore of your time. Don't be like me and give him time and his space only to find out that he's got commitment issues and isn't willing to work on them. If a guy wants to get to know you, he'll make the time. Otherwise he'll just string you along if you let him. Let him chase you not the other way around.

Cat Lover-I have very, very, fair sensitive skin. I was on accutane about three years ago and yes it is a MIRACLE DRUG. My acne was not severe but because of my sensitive skin all of the lotions, creams etc. that the dermatologist prescribed did not work. I went on accutane because my skin was starting to scar anytime I got the smallest blemish. In the last three months my skin has started to scar again so I'm going back on accutane later this month. I've never tried the Proactive but if your skin is super sensitive like mine it may not work either. But try it and if it doesn't work I think Proactive has a refund policy. At least you can get a refund. Accutane doesn't have that many side effects. It just depends on the dosage and how bad your acne is. My skin never peeled and I got so many compliments after my skin cleared up. It's worth the hassle and $$. You do what you feel is right for you. I can sympathize with how you're feeling because I've been there. Don't worry you'll get through this.