CoolGuy

There is one word for that man - sorry I dont want to end up like that and thats my - worry. Love is the most precious thing u can find for which u cannot pay in cash or kind though such a thing he did find he did not make the effort to make strong the bind! love ripens when the two partners understand and share else it would be like a desert barren and bare.... For all ye people out there who have found love those who know what it is love and be loved understand it is a gift sent by the almighty above a gift so priceless ......a gift called LOVE. Bye, CoolGuy

I have met a new fren ..hello cuu glad to know that u r afflicted by love too!! being apart from u r lover is difficult for sure this thing is one malady for which there is no cure. i am sure the cloud will clear and the sun will shine u r lover will soon come back to u and say "dear u r mine" that day will soon come and thats my view sorry i talked about this and u better not sue!!!!!!!!!!!! hi, cuu....nice to meet a fren who likes writing poems too..(i am a damn amateur though)..... keep posting ....and keep in touch Bye, CoolGuy

hi bzborow, i guess it wud be a little awkward to stop her and have a chat especially since u dont know her that well. u don't have her mail id or chat id or somethin'?? that wud be easy to get right?? then u can mail her introducing urself and that u got her mail id from so and so....and tell her that u r happy to chat with her or whatever. that shud break the ice. if u cant do that...then i think u take courage, stop her in her tracks and start a general discussion...that requires some talent and experience...ask some exp guy to help u deal with it...i am not the person who can advice u on that... Cheers, CoolGuy

hi scott, i agree with u completely...to love and not be loved is a big hurt and i fully understand u believe me!!! but let us put a few things into perspective now. how long has she been ur gf?? i am assuming it is arnd 2 yrs. if that is the case and she has personal problems...then who better than u her bf to discuss the problem??? this is crazy! if i know somebody very well and i trust them..i wud confide my problems with them but mind u.....there is a chance that she may be right and serious....there r chances of some things which cannot be said to u but she wud have to handle herself and for this she may need some time... so what u have to do now is: hope for the best and prepare for the worst. ur post said 'dont reply if ur asking me to leave her'...that's not a good approach. i know ur emotions at this moment but think clearly...if u r this obsessed with her and she comes and says 'we r done' u will be very hurt. what u do now...is think as if u r done with her....that solves the problem...as the earlier post said....time heals everything..so try to stop thinking abt her as ur partner....atleast try...and u will be amazed at the progress...in abt a month...believe me u will be thinking not much abt her. this helps in two ways that it give her the required space and u will get prepared for whatever she says. i hope she comes back to u and both get together in life....if she does that ..then u r fine. else dont worry. ur mind will be prepared by then....and u will find somebody else. follow the advice of the earlier post like. "chat a lot...with ur close frens family, get out and hang out etc..." i think that guy is experienced in this!!! like me . All the Best, CoolGuy

hi joyfulgirl, i think the guy u r speaking abt is not mentally focussed. by what i make out of it, he initially was interested in u but after some time he has lost interest i think. thats why he stopped talking to u etc.. dont go by false assumptions that having ur id's on his contact lists makes him interested in u. i have one gal's both id's and she has mine...but she isnt serious with me and we have talkd it over...so he may have that just to be frens with u some time in future.. my advice is: u have no reason to feel depressed right now. u were in touch with him for just arnd 2 months and thats not enuf to judge a person though u may have feelings for him. just accept the fact that he wasnt interested in u. u will definitely come accross someone who will be interested in whatever bit u do!!! Cheers, CoolGuy

hey!!! this sounds very similar except i was the guy with a "crush" on the girl. But, i don't call it 'crush' as i had real feelings for her but she called it a crush. the same thing happnd to me. i dropped her a mail saying i wanted to be her partner etc. but she didnt reply...finally when i told her abt my feelings..she said that she was serious with another guy and wanted to be frens with me and hence did not want to reply.... so i guess it may be the same for u. be prepared for NEGATIVE outcomes and wait to see what happens.. CoolGuy

i don't think looking at somebody shud be taken seriously. it is a natural human tendency to look,ogle or whatever u may say. Just by looking, u r not getting emotionally involved with that person....it is just ur physical instincts that get attracted to that person. but personally i feel that what u r feeling is good!!!.....it shows that u r completely committed to ur long distance partner.... so throw that doubt outta ur mind.....u r still committed to ur partner!!!!!!

As i have loved and lost.....i think it is better!!!! bcoz 'The test of fire makes good steel'. When u try to luv somebody and it doesn't go ur way..1) U understand what love is...it is mutual 2) u become stronger in life 3) V V Importantly, u get experience!!!!

Hi kittykat, From what i make out, it is better that u forget that guy. He was the never the one suited for ur sensitive and soft nature. All he wanted was some fun and a sex fling with a girl....and he got it and left. Don't bother a lot about ur virginity now.....its ok.. Don't lose heart bcoz he left u...try to cheer up and look ahead in life...U will meet THE person for u who will understand u and love u for the way u are. As far as this *beep* guy is considered....forget abt him!!!! Bye, CoolGuy

hi drukin33, its nice to know that she is close to somebody for the first time.that almost solves half the problem. when both of u like each other's company...there will be no question of getting bored...believe me. i cud chat hours and hours with my gf abt whatever on earth. but have a few things in mind. know her likes and dislikes well, this will help u a lot when talking to her or taking her out. when u talk..keep her amused...make her laugh...she will find u a really interesting person then..above all..ACT NATURAL and things will surely be rosy for ya bye, COOLGUY

First of all, i wud like u to change ur mentality that u wont take no for an answer ( i think u were joking in ur post!!!). Artificiality in expressing is a real turn-off. When u really like somebody...just show that u like him and if u want to express it...express it naturally like some nice greeting card...etc... If he agrees....then CONGRATS and have a good time!!! if he does not...then he was not the one for u....there is a more special person coming ur way....i am abs sure So go ahead and make that move..... Bye CoolGuy

hi kittykat, I understand ur feelings right now....and u must be really feeling down and low. All i can say is that it was very bad and harsh of ur partner to leave u high and dry like this. lemme get this....did he say that he wants a breather??? if that is the case...why shud he find someone else?? have both of u understood the other completely bcoz u said that there were bumps along ur relationships....??? see...if he said that he just needed a breather and then looked for someone else....he is cheating. then, it is obvious that u did not appeal to his mind as the 'one'. i feel that u r really a sensitive person and dedicated to him..its really hurting u. just tell what u r feeling right now...directly to him. ask him whether this is the end of our relationship and ask him why he sought after another girl after asking for a breather...maybe he will understand ur sensitivity and will feel sorry!!! Bye and keep posting!! CoolGuy

Hi enchanter, It is difficult to judge from what u have specified as to what may be the reason he wants ur number.....it is nice that u have a crush on him...but what abt his feelings????? if u cud tell something abt what he talked or how he acted while asking ur no and before on ur meetings...we can discuss abt it better... Keep posting, Bye, CoolGuy

Hi LordDude, I don't think u have done anything wrong!!! so....why does she behave this way???? beats me!!! By what u explain abt holding hands, being physically close...etc...i can make out for sure that both of u are attracted..no doubt abt it...but dont judge abt relationships now itself.....that is completely different.....For that u have to know ur mate very very well.....i mean u have to know her good/bad everything and like her for that....and she has to feel the same way!!! thats important!!!! Now.... coming back....u be the good guy!!! just try contacting and meeting her and ask her something like..."Why were u dull and hurt that day my dear??? Was i the reason for it??" it is a nice gentlemanly way of asking and females like sweet guys ;-). if u were the reason for something u dont know.....then be the first to apologize and ask her to forgive u....else drop it there and tell her that u have forgotten it!!!! that shud put both of u back on track..... All the Best... Bye. CoolGuy

Hi CamaroJoe, Nice to hear from u again mate!!! i think i can tell u abt this as i have gone thru the same thing and shut the case up!!! Let us face reality..... there r only 2 possible things. 1) She likes u somewhat(not deeply!!!! mind u...those feelings r different...when u deeply like somebody...u JUST CANT HESITATE IN SHOWING THEM) and wud like to be frens with u for now.....later...she may be thinking of deciding. 2) She doesnt reciprocate the feelings that u have towards her(hey!! that isnt ur mistake....just that u dont come to her mind as a partner..) but is feeling somewhat awkward to say that. (In my case..it was the second one as she had a very close guy abt which i didnt know....so i asked her abt it and now...we have decided to be just frens....anyways....thats different!!) See, if it is the first case....then u will have to wait....and watch if her feelings towards u get any stronger. But...be prepared for NEGATIVES....thats very important!!!!! U judge for urself....it shows quite naturally u know.......(it is hard to explain...but when u r talking closely with someone...u can judge what they feel). If u feel that it is CASE1 then u tell ur feelings and ask her to take her time to decide....thats a nice way of putting it...u r in effect telling her that u r liking her and would be happy if she decided to be ur gf...... If it is CASE2 according to ur judgement....then u have some tough decisions to take mate!!! but u will have to do it...... Just think about this.....u will wait for some more time and ur feelings abt her might get very strong( i am assuming that u r in love with her...)...later if she says NO, it will be very very hard on u mate!!!! i dont like that to happen to u mate!!! u will take a long long time to heal that...ok so what do u do if u judge it is CASE2.....just meet her once in a nice quite place...where both of u can think clearly...ok. then u tell her abt ur feelings openly....(it is not wrong to like someone....everybody understands that!!) and ask her why she seems to be not ready....be careful and tell her that u r prepared for any answer and show that u have the maturity to deal with even harsh answers...tell her 'Please tell me very very frankly as this is a question of my love life.' if she really has some feeling....she will ask u to wait or somethin...then back to CASE1...else if she says she doesnt see u in that way.....it is actually good for u though it is harsh..u can try to forget this and be frens with her. See, the fact is u cannot force anybody to love u....it is mutual...and natural...so even though she pities u and stuff...it will NEVER be true love and u will suffer later although it may cool things now.... So, get ur mind working....and start up!!! keep me posted mate!!! and ALL THE BEST......i wish she has REAL FEELINGS for ya!!!! Bye CoolGuy

Hey Guys!!!! We r all in the same situation......Why don't we get together and discuss things,experiences thru private msgs.....plzzzz guys respond...our experiences may be useful to each other.... I am in the same situation absolutely.... me and this girl were wonderful frens...for 4 months...i thought i was in love with her....and told her what i feel....she has right now said 'no' after saying that how can anybody become gf so easily without knowing the person completely.....so...i am really sad...but we r still frens now...ok ...very much...hopefully we know each other and things will get moving...what do u guys say....did she say no bcoz we dont know each other...in that case will that change if we get to know each other well???? As for ur case mate, dont hurry things!!!!! first of all!!! i have spoilt mine bcoz of haste.....ok. i know how strongly u feel abt her...but think....if u ask again, her answer wont change and she will feel that u r very desperate abt her.....which doesn't help things...i wouldn't want a desperate female arnd me whom i dont like that much ...would u??? no right....same way!!! wait and become close to her....and then let her know when time comes....5 months is too small mate...r u joking!!! get close to her for a year and then think abt the move!!!! PLZ KEEP IN TOUCH GUYS!!! we will keep in touch through private msgs....PLZZZZ OK....

First of all, don't confront that other woman!!! it is upto her to keep this a secret from her husband or whatever... u have to bother about ur situation now..... i agree it is a very difficult and testing time for u but my advice is think real cool!!!! u don't want to make a bad decision here and mess up ur future altogether. Talk with ur fiance on this matter... i think it will help... it shouldn't be a confrontation kind of thing but a kind of forceful need for answer. try to weigh his explanations and find out if he is being sincere or not.... if he is really sincere and loves u, then ur noble talk of forgive and forget is valid.... if it isn't, then u may end up with other squabbles later.... so, think cool, talk to ur fiance and take ur time to decide. Good Luck and keep me posted.... BYE

hey buddy, u r way too young and inexperienced to get into intercourse and stuff. plainly said, it is dangerous for u and the girl as u don't know what u r doing and what may be its implications. so, bide ur time unless u r big enough to know about these things and then u can proceed both romantically and legally..... Bye and Good Luck

Hey captain_nemo. Why r u underestimating urself so much???? Nobody in this world is good at anything except a few of them.... Everybody can't become and Einstein or Mozart etc.. we have to accept that fact first. There will certainly be some qualities in us which we have to develop and nurture to make it shine. I understand that being in India, there is very little scope for outlet of other talents except academics and sports. But u will definitely be good in something and i can bet on it!!!!!!! Try to look up rather than down... say to urself, i can and must do something in this world. try to achieve that and u will be happy. I suggest u draw up some small goals first. like some milestone at ur office to make ur boss happy... work extra for a week... u may like it and also get cheers from ur boss etc.. do something to keep away from bad thoughts and u will love urself again!!!!!!! Good Luck

Its OK bud!! Its not the end of the world. Atleast she said that u were not of her type rather than taking u on a wild goose chase only to ditch u in the end... the pain would have been immense. Now, i think the best move would be to compormise with her and tell her that u will be a good friend and well wisher. jus stay as frens for some time. who knows!!! she may realise that u r really her guy after all!!!! BUT the main point is both of u be mature abt it and remain frens.... then u never know........ GOOD LUCK and BYE

Hey!!!! She likes u i BET!!!! no girl will put her number in ur cellphone unless she is abs crazy abt u!!!! The ball is now in ur court dude, u can do whatever u want i think....... just ask her out to dinner etc.... i think she will grab the opportunity!!!!!! she just wants u to make the move so MOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it is good to think abt ur plan first dude.... first decide what sort of person she is... u may be knowing this already. Bcoz all girls are not the same. Find out abt what she really likes and adores(anything from teddybears to chocolates!!!!!).... then u can probably gift that to her and tell how much u adore her.. if she is silent and a romantic kind... this may scare her away and its better to talk to her and indirectly imply that u adore her....anyways, APPLY UR MIND before making the move... ALL THE BEST

Hi all, First of all, i would like to say a big 'THANK U' to all the guys there who take care to read this and help me.. I need it desperately... PLZ help me with lots of advices... Below is my first post with the label OLD. Please read it... i know it is long but please bear with me and help me.. I have included the latest developments in LATEST... plz go through this and advise me..I don't have a clue as to what to do etc... depending SOLELY on ur advices... Please HELP ME.. OLD Hi, I am a new member to this what I think is an excellent forum to get personal advice. I am in a great dilemma and I would really be grateful if somebody advised me on this: I am 23 and have been a normal guy till now. I was quite studious in my young and teenage days and did not think anything seriously about love, girlfriends etc. It is true that I was attracted to 2-3 girls till now and I have sufficient judgement (thankfully!!!) to conclude that it was just that 'infatuation' thing and nothing more. I also rarely talked with girls and was really uncomfortable speaking to them. I have always been known in all my classes as a shy, studious guy. Now, it so happens that there is this gal who works with me. It has been just 2 months since we met. For the first week or so, I wasn't specially interested in her. After that, I came to know that she came from the same institution that I came from and we began to talk freely. I feel extremely comfortable in her presense and we share a lot of common ideas. I dont go dating or stuff like that and neither does she. But I think I have found a person who really gels with me like water. Myself, the guy who didn't even spoke a word with any girl; I find myself chatting with her hours together on various topics both of us enjoying the chat. She has a lot of respect for me and vice versa. I take great interest in her work and try to help her for which she is grateful and encouraging. She says that she really gets mad if someone talks about her personal ideas like marriage and had also scolded somebody badly because he commented on her marriage etc. but with me, she is so open and honest. We come from traditional families where arranged marriages are a norm. She said to me that she would like to marry a guy she knows sufficiently well or not at all. She believes in loving a guy and getting to know him before she marries. She also said that if someone loves a person very much then they would definitely say that after some time. Initially, they maybe hesitant but will surely propose one day.She told me what sort of a guy she was looking for ( a normal guy with whom she can share her ideas and be comfortable) if she married. Whenever we talk, it is as if we have known each other from several years. She smiles a lot( she does that to everybody) when she is talking to me and looks at me in the eyes as if trying to size me up. I am deeply attached to her. I don't know if it is love or attraction etc. but I want to keep talking to her for a long long time. I dont know if she thinks the same way but I guess so because she never gets bored of it. I would really like ur advice on this subject. What is happening to me? I am always thinking of her company. Should I just continue to be close friends and share ideas? or am I in love with her? Has she given any clues that she likes me ? Ur advice is the only one I am banking on. I REQUEST U TO SINCERELY HELP ME LATEST Well, its almost been a month since i posted that old one.. Now, we both have chatted a LOT. Fortunately, she works with me always and we chat abt everything abt family,interests.... etc... As she hasn't made any move, i felt that i have to give her some clue atleast.. HOW BADLY i need to tell her that i like her(i don't know still if its love or such a strong bonding etc....)!!!! I told her that she appeared in my dreams which is TRUE. She laughed and said "What was i doing? Torturing u in ur dreams???". she is really lively and humorous. I told her again that she appeared in my dreams... she said "NICE!!" I have commented on her smile(which has captured me!!) that it is unforgettable etc. and she asks me "Why r u abusing me???" i swear that i am speaking the truth and she just replies with an hmmmm.....One day, after a lot of talking i said to her " Can i ask u a personal question?" for which she replied yes. i asked her if she had any serious boyfrens. She said i am not close with all the guys though i talk with them.. she is a bit shy like me and said that only 2 guys have visited her house.. one is like her brother and the other a very good friend. This guy is supposed to be a very good friend of hers. She told me that he was a gem of a friend. They go out for shopping etc.. so i think she is not thinking of anything else than friendship with him.... I helped her a lot with her work and she thanked me profusely"Thanks a LOTTTTTTTTTTTTT" and stuff like that. I was embarrassed and told her "I dont like formalities... why do u need to thank me?? are we that apart???" She told "Even i don't like formalities but the fact is that u r helping me a great deal." Now, she will be going to some other place in another month... i don't know how i will talk with her apart from chat.. it will really kill me... i told her one day "PLEASEEEEE DON'T FORGET ME" once u go...and added that i would never forget her whatever happens. She said "What's wrong with u?" "How the hell can i forget a friend like u?" I said that i have a strong sixth sense and told her "Something tells me we r gonna meet somewhere BIG TIME". She gave a thumbs up sign and said "GREAT". Our best days together r coming to an end and i am depressed. What should i do..My mind says... concentrate on work and get back to her when u r ready..and she will reciprocate. But, my heart is afraid of losing her and wants to show some concrete feelings openly for her...what should i do?? is she having any feelings for me??? PLEASE ADVICE ME FAST. Everybody please tell whatever they feel. i would be ever grateful to you..... Regards, CoolGuy

Hey! Thank you guys for ur great support. U r my best buddies at this hour of need advising me. A brief explanation about arranged marriages back here would be of some help to u. The parents or even the guy/girl are allowed to choose their life partner. Then the parents of both with the guy and the girl decide about the marriage. But before all this, I want to know what I am exactly feeling. Is this true love? bcoz i have never experienced one.

Hi, I am a new member to this what I think is an excellent forum to get personal advice. I am in a great dilemma and I would really be grateful if somebody advised me on this: I am 23 and have been a normal guy till now. I was quite studious in my young and teenage days and did not think anything seriously about love, girlfriends etc. It is true that I was attracted to 2-3 girls till now and I have sufficient judgement (thankfully!!!) to conclude that it was just that 'infatuation' thing and nothing more. I also rarely talked with girls and was really uncomfortable speaking to them. I have always been known in all my classes as a shy, studious guy. Now, it so happens that there is this gal who works with me. It has been just 2 months since we met. For the first week or so, I wasn't specially interested in her. After that, I came to know that she came from the same institution that I came from and we began to talk freely. I feel extremely comfortable in her presense and we share a lot of common ideas. I dont go dating or stuff like that and neither does she. But I think I have found a person who really gels with me like water. Myself, the guy who didn't even spoke a word with any girl; I find myself chatting with her hours together on various topics both of us enjoying the chat. She has a lot of respect for me and vice versa. I take great interest in her work and try to help her for which she is grateful and encouraging. She says that she really gets mad if someone talks about her personal ideas like marriage and had also scolded somebody badly because he commented on her marriage etc. but with me, she is so open and honest. We come from traditional families where arranged marriages are a norm. She said to me that she would like to marry a guy she knows sufficiently well or not at all. She believes in loving a guy and getting to know him before she marries. She also said that if someone loves a person very much then they would definitely say that after some time. Initially, they maybe hesitant but will surely propose one day.She told me what sort of a guy she was looking for ( a normal guy with whom she can share her ideas and be comfortable) if she married. Whenever we talk, it is as if we have known each other from several years. She smiles a lot( she does that to everybody) when she is talking to me and looks at me in the eyes as if trying to size me up. I am deeply attached to her. I don't know if it is love or attraction etc. but I want to keep talking to her for a long long time. I dont know if she thinks the same way but I guess so because she never gets bored of it. I would really like ur advice on this subject. What is happening to me? I am always thinking of her company. Should I just continue to be close friends and share ideas? or am I in love with her? Has she given any clues that she likes me ? Ur advice is the only one I am banking on. I REQUEST U TO SINCERELY HELP ME