GoDevil
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Guys like a girl who is sure of herself. Don't worry about what other people like, worry about what you like. If you are happy and love yourself, guys will definitely take notice, and the type that you are looking for will be there with you before you know it. This takes a great deal of strength and the ability to be vulnerable, you must be able to show your true self to people without caring what they think (well you have to keep some things hidden but you get my point...). This is the only true way to find a person who loves you for who you are. Good luck!
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for the love of god just start taking birth control pills or get the depo provera shot. Check out link removed Sex is awesome and you both are going to keep doing it, so rule out the possibility of pregnancy the best you can. Condoms are good but chemical birth control is even better. You may be young, but if you both care about each other then it's ok. Be careful
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Two years ago I gave up smoking cigarettes and started jogging 3 times a week so I wouldn't gain weight due to nicotine withdrawal, and I can tell you it's the best thing you can ever do - especially if there is a good trail/sidewalk that you can run on right by your house/apt. The great thing about it is all you need is yourself and some good shoes, nothing that you can procrastinate about like having to go to the gym etc. I lost almost 30 pounds and I look the best I ever have, and I feel great. It's the best thing I've ever done for myself and it's more addictive than cigarettes were!! Good luck-
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I agree, it needs to be somewhere in the middle. My last gf was completely submissive and weak, and my current gf is the complete OPPOSITE. So basically now I'm ready for anything LOL Now there's a big fight over usually nothing once a week after which we don't talk for a couple of days... FUN!!!!
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i love her she loves me but she broke up with me
GoDevil replied to dukster's topic in Breaking Up Advice
The best thing you can do right now is pull back and wait. TRUST ME. She (whether she knows it or not) is likely testing you to see how strong of a person you are. If you want her to come back to you, I guaranty she will if you just pull back. Don't call her, don't make an effort to bump into her, don't call her friends. I know this sounds dumb but it works. She will wonder why you aren't trying to see her and it will make her interest in you increase even more. She will then call YOU. When she actually does this is a matter of her experience and patience, but you can win the waiting game. Good luck! -
dude i am exactly the same as you and i started on medication about 9 months ago, saved my life i think. You might have a chemical imbalance in your brain that causes you to always be down. You really should get on some antidepressants or SSRI's (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). Stay away from excessive weed/alcohol as you will just crash harder and lower when their effects wear off... TRUST ME. I did the same thing for a long time. After I started taking Lexapro, I noticed a general minimization of my negative thoughts and frequency of unprovoked anxiety. You can be at ease and happy, but first you have to make an appointment! Good luck!
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thx you know you guys are right... i think i have a problem taking things too personally but its just so hard not to when her pms lasts for like 2 weeks sometimes. What I'm learning is that no matter what, any time react by getting angry and mad at her it just makes it worse and it takes longer for things to get back to normal. It's confusing as hell sometimes.. It's hard to fight your natural defensive instincts but it's apparently necessary to help get thru crap like this when she's having emotions etc..
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thats another thing... she is horrible at apoligizing and is very stubborn. If she would just say she's sorry for the things she says it would make everything better. I don't know how to convey this to her. How hard could it be for her to just tell me what i need to hear? Maybe she is just a heartless b.itch
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I am having a problem getting over fights with my girlfriend because of the things she says when she is angry. I find it hard not to resent her and also it's hard to forgive her. We have talked a lot and she knows what things really bother me, and of my insecurities. I am also unusually sensitive (i think)... When we are having a bad fight she throws these private things back into my face to try and hurt me, and it makes me hate her when she does it. I would never do something like that to her. I am trying to understand why she has to take such cheap shots at me when we fight. How could she do that if she really cares about me? How can I just accept that she might not mean those things and is just saying them because we are fighting. I am stuck and I don't want to hate her but the resentment is difficult to contain at times.... please help me
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He thinks I don't love him! Please, HELP!
GoDevil replied to DaniGirl's topic in Relationship Advice
What had you kept from him that he recently found out? -
i heard my girlfriend is cheating on me but she won't admit
GoDevil replied to miken's topic in Relationship Advice
you need to let her know how serious you are about this. She is taking advantage of you in a very bad way; she thinks you will stick around no matter what she does. Show her that she is wrong. You need to at least tell her that you can't be with her anymore because you don't trust that she is being honest and truthful with you. Show her that you can walk away and live fine without her. That will surely wake her up man. Be strong!! Don't let her treat you like a doormat!! -
also, give it a few days. You told her that you have a crush, and you don't want to come on too strong by calling her a lot or anything. I wouldn't worry about the whole getting drunk thing, she probably thinks it's cute or something like that. It sounds like you are in, especially with her taking care of you the rest of that night. Let her think about you a couple of days so that her desire builds. Remember, there is nothing desirable about a needy person so be careful. If you play it right you are in there, yo
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Amber, The thing you need to do now is talk to him about it and explain everything that you have talked about on this post. Tell him how it makes you feel, tell him how much it bothers you, tell him how much you love him and if he loves you and cares about your feelings he will take action to make you feel better. If he is unwilling to budge on this issue then you should leave because you are only setting yourself up for more pain. Leave this one up to him; it is a good way to test his true feelings for you. He might be taking you for granted and not realize it. Give him a chance or two to take action after you've explained your feelings (in as non-confrontational manner as possible, mind you). Also, try to avoid the word "you" when telling him this. Use "I" as much as possible, stressing things like "this makes ME feel this way" etc... By avoiding "YOU", he is much less likely to get overly defensive because you are just describing your feelings, not attacking him. Best of luck!!!
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You know, it sounds to me like this guy might have a problem. There's a thing called masturbation addiction you know. People that are addicted to masturbation use it to deal with the stress that they experience in their daily lives. They could hate their job, they could have bad anxiety, they could be depresssed, etc... The point is that addicts use it just like a drug. Usually it doesn't have anything to do with the sexual nature of it at all. I think you (and if at all possible he as well) might consider reading up on it a bit, as it is obviously affecting your relationship in a very negative manner.
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I really like this guy but I need advice.
GoDevil replied to pi_anochik's topic in Relationship Advice
Stare at him deeply until HE looks away, then smile when he looks back. Very important. Also, you can **accidentally** rub up against him in a friendly way when walking by, and then smile at him. Whatever you do, don't tell his friend to tell him you like him or anything like that. If you play it right, he will be the one who can't take it any more and will have to approach you. Oh yeah, one more thing... BE CONFIDENT!! Good luck! -
Great post! I know I could use some uplifting thoughts and those helped me thx B
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be careful with that, because it sounds to me like she has a low self esteem and has to be validated by sexual acts, otherwise she feels bad about herself. I would bet money that she was sexually abused in some way in her childhood. This always shows up later in life, usually in the sexual arena. She feels worthless, like she is only good for sex, so this is how she can feel better. If she can only be good for sex, she better have sex very frequently or she has no purpose.. This is probably what goes on involuntarily in her head. You need to talk to her about all of this, and find out some things. Be very supportive of her because things like that are very difficult to address. Good luck!
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One thing i forgot is to show him how willing you are to do whatever it takes to get through it. Tell him that if he wants to be mad and resent you that it's fine as long as it makes him feel better (although it really won't). He will likely test you by doing or saying things to see if you will let him make you angry. If you get angry then he might explode. Be very tolerant and keep reassurring him how much you love him.
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be careful how fast you reveal all of this to him, it can be overwhelming and too much info could push him away. Since you sent those text messages, you have told him some of your feelings. Don't keep trying to contact him because that will not work in your benefit. Let him absorb the things you have told him and make his decision. If you don't contact him and just stay busy doing other stuff I bet you he will call and say he would like to see you. He knows you like him, now let him show you he likes you. Don't keep trying, you have already done your part in that respect. By holding back, you will eventually know how he really feels and you will lose no self-respect in the process. Good luck!
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You guys need counseling I would imagine. What you have done has destroyed all his trust and faith in you. He will be very closed off emotionally until this is dealt with and he believes that he can trust you again. When someone is cheated on, every reactive thought that goes through their head involves self-protection, to never let someone do something like that to you again. I am still dealing with trust issues and insecurity because of someone who cheated on me several years ago. I think i could definitely use some counseling as well. The hardest thing to deal with, from a victim's perspective, is the hate and resentment you feel. You may realize that it's bad and only makes things worse, but it's such a natural feeling that it takes a lot of work to control. The most important thing you do in the meantime is assure him that he didn't have anything to do with your cheating, tell him you trust him by all means (don't start acting distrustful towards him although its what happens when you cheat), and tell him that you'll do anything to earn back his trust. Good luck!
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So I have been dealing with a few issues with my girlfriend (mostly dealing with them by myself because she is too defensive to talk to), and I just found out something else last night. Things i have found out regarding her past bothered me, and I have dealt with that. This is different. She tested positive for HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) back in December and just told me NOW. In case you don't know, it basically has no cure, different strains that range from dormant to frequent genital warts. We have frequent sex and don't use condoms because she is on birth control. I feel a bit well lets see... LIED TO. What a selfish b.itch to keep something like that from me just because she knew how I would react. What should I do?
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Jaybol, Your self-esteem is still damaged from the thing 10 years ago, and it is causing you to think that she would go after someone else any chance she gets because you have such a low opinion of yourself. There is nothing she can do about this, you must address it. You need to find ways to love and take care of yourself. Focus on doing things you enjoy, take up a new hobby, anything that will occupy your mind and keep you from concentrating on the emotions you are currently having; they do nothing good for you. You probably have constant negative thoughts running through your mind. The key is being able to recognize irrational negative thoughts that are nothing but self-defeating. I highly recomment a book called "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns. It has helped me tremendously as I have suffered through the same situation as you. I wish you the best-
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You also need to realize that you are just being irrational if you think that your ex-girlfriends are not thinking about you just because they aren't calling or writing. They as well as you are just trying to cope with the loss they feel. After such long relationships, it's very hard for both people. So do this: try not to focus on the negative, but try to remember how you are a better more experienced person now than you were before that relationship. She thinks about you all the time and probably cries a lot too; she is just trying to be as strong as she can to get through what is likely a very tough time for her as well. Be strong, I promise it will get better! Don't forget to take care of yourself!
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The reason this is bothering you is because you care for this girl. You are at the point where the limitation of casual sex has become uncomfortable. You need to find out how she feels about you, and also let her know that what she is doing bothers you. It's hard to say depending on how much time you guys spend together to know whether or not she likes you or is just using you. That's what you need to find out though. Good luck!
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that's a tough call, because she called once she will likely call again... but that also depends on the girl. If you want to talk to her and you care about her a lot you could just call her back and say that you noticed she called. It all depends on what happened in your relationship, what unresolved issues there are, who was in control etc. Good luck!