Amber

Hey Tarheel81, my boyrfriend and I have been living together for a year and a half now and of course he looks at porn everytime I'm out of the house. This bothered me because he was looking at porn more often than we were having sex. I felt like he really didn't love me or find me attractive. At fist whenever we'd talk about it he'd try to shrug it off as not a big deal. I'm sure it really wasn't to him, but it was to me. Finally, the other day we were on a road trip, and I flat out told him that we had to come to some sort of comprimise about the porn because I was ready to call it quits if our sex life didn't improve. I told him that I don't mind porn, but that I do mind that he's looking at it more often than we were having sex. I told him that I hate when he looks at naked chicks. It makes me feel insecure and that he is looking for someone else to turn him on. Before I met my boyfriend I felt like my body was perfect and that I was so lucky because if I had the chance I would never change a thing about it. Then I find out my boyfriend is looking at naked women who have biger boobs, who are taller, who have long perfect hair and flawless skin. Now I find myself growing my hair out and thinking about getting a boob job, because I think it will make me more attractive. Which, I know is rediculous because my boobs are already too big for my body and I'm beautiful. Anyway, my point is that my boyfriend never thought about how looking at naked women affected the way I felt. Now that he knows he has promised to unsubscribe to the porn sites that have just naked women. Of course he's still looking at porn all the time, but we're also having sex at least once a day most of the time twice, when we can. Now there's so much more passion too, it's just been great. I don't think he ever realized how eager I am to please him. I'm sure that's the way most women are. And I'm sure that if you show your girlfriend you are willing to try to come to a comprimise with her you won't really be giving up much, and she will be willing to show you more passion than you've ever known. You have to realize that most women rarely masturbate, so you're it. You are the only one that gives her pleasure, and she needs it just as often as you do.

Thanks Blum you're advice has been helpful. Don't worry I have nothing against porn. Well, that's not totally true, I don't like playboy and other sites other porn that's just a bunch of naked women. I don't think there's many girls that do though. No matter how geougus a girl is the thought of her boyfriend looking at another naked women is unnerving. Besides my boyfriend has already told me that he rarely thinks about me when he masturbates. He said that he usually thinks about some headless chick or some situation that would probably never happen. (like sex in a pool of baby oil, or a tub of jello) This really hurts because when I look at porn or think of sex I am usually thinking about the things I would like for him to be doing to me or me to him. (Or that's really got to hurt. ) Doggone was right when he said that women enjoy sex more emotionally. I love when a guy isn't afraid to look at my body and enjoy how beautiful I am. I relish the thought that my boyfriend thinks there's never going to be another women that can give the pleasure that I am giving him, or could ever make him feel more loved than he is at that moment. But, now all I can think about when we have sex is him jerking off thinking about some other chick. It's very devistating.

That's just it, I have no idea what is considered too much. I've lived with guys before. (never a boyfriend, just guy friends from work) and we've sat around and watched porn and they looked at it while I was around. It was never considered a big deal. I don't know if I was just considered one of the guys or what? My boyfriend on the other hand doesn't look at it when I'm home, just everyday I go to work or anywhere else. That's pretty much always at least 5 days a week. And he's very private about it. He refuses to let me watch it with him and has often lied to me about it. I can't stand when I know I'm being lied to. Especially over something so silly. I know he loves me, and thinks I am beautiful, and would never cheat on me. But, it still hurts deeply when I get home and can tell that's he's already gotten off. He acts funny for the most part, and I hate the way he acts after that. It's like if I get too close he kind of pushes me away or teases me and says " You're not still horney are you?" That's where I can get a little pissy, and I hate being mad. I'm usually a happy person. And what's agravating above all is that he can never figure out why this hurts me and makes me upset. And if he does understand he dosn't show it. I'm at my whits ends, I no longer know what to do and cannot understand where he is coming from. This is the first boyfriend I've ever lived with, so I'm wondering if all guys are like this and if this is a common thing, or is this really not normal. I don't want to leave if there are good intensions behind this, but if he's just doing it to get back at me or something because he knows it makes me upset. I'm out the door. You all have been a big help thus far though. And of couse any more advice is always appreciated Thanks

I find myself to be a very reasonable woman, but one thing I will NEVER understand is why men would let a little thing like porn come between a relationship. I am an attractive woman and am willing to do anything to turn my boyfriend on and get him off. I can understand if we didn't live together and he used porn when he has no chance of seeing me that day, or even when I work late at night and have to open the next day. (It's safe to say that sex is probably the last thing from my mind) What I can't understand though is why he would call me at work to make sure I'm still there and then masturbate before I get home. (I only get off of work an hour after he does) What is so hard about waiting an hour or so? Then later he makes an excuse to not have sex, or teases me me about being like a man and always nagging him for it. And, when we do have sex it's a lot harder to get him off, that is if he gets off at all. The times he doesn't masturbate of course it's easy. At first I thought this may be one of the reasons. He's told me that sex is just for me, and that his only objective is to get me off. I thought that maybe he felt like he was getting off too quickly or something. Now, I'm sure this in not the case. I don't know what is. Everytime I bring up the subject he has to lie to me about it, or try to play it off as no big deal. I know he loves me, but I can't take the porn interfering with our sex life any longer. We've been living together for over a year and a half, and I'm ready to give it all up over stupid porn. I've given up masturbation for him, so that it is easier for him to get me off. All I'm asking for in return is that he just cut back and consider my needs for once. Am I really asking for too much? Another thing I don't understand is the fact that he gets jealous over a stupid romance novel. He said that he didn't want to have to compete with a fictional character. (the so called perfect man) And everytime I try to read the stupid book while he's around he's bugging me, and trying to get me to stop. Do men not understand what an ego crusher porn can be? We all know that if a man doesn't get off during sex, there's pretty much only 2 reasons. 1) he's already gotten off, or 2) he's not turned on. Either way it hurts. And I don't think any woman should have to be put through that unnecessary pain. Especially if she is willing to please her man.

I will never understand men. My boyfriend often teases me and says I'm like a man because I'm always wanting sex. The other night we had sex he got off twice. Then as soon as he got home from work the next day (he gets off an hour before I do) he has to masturbate and get off yet again. This bothers me because when I get home I can't get any pleasure. I don't undrerstand why he can't just wait an hour till I get home. I'm supposed to be the horney one (according to him.) And of course if I do get him to fool around and have sex he doesn't get off, so really what's the point? This really bothers me because it seems like I'm nagging him for sex all the time. I am more than willing to do anything to give him pleasure as often as he likes. He also refuses to let me watch porn with him, so it makes it hard to find out what turns him on. (or off for that matter)and refuses to try anything I want to do. I'm not asking for much just maybe take a shower together or play with body paint or something. I'm still young (22) and would like to have fun and try new things while we still have no distractions. ie children, an second job...something like that. All I'm asking is that he takes my needs into consideration and not masturbate when he knows that I'm going to be home in an hour or so. Why can't he just wait on me? Is that really too much to ask? While I'm at it and have a minute to vent. Why do men think that porn and romance novels are even close to comparison. I've heard many people say that romance novels are for women the same as porn is for men. How many women have you heard of that masturbate to romance novels? To me that's just rediculous.