WyseOne
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Everything posted by WyseOne
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I want to get back with him BUT...
WyseOne replied to Broken_Doll_ParTs's topic in Relationship Advice
I agree with Briella, that is good advice if it were not for the forcing himself onto you and the uninvited appearances. Has he been stalking you after you broke up with him? I call my women a lot but I just like to hear their voice. -
Irishgurl, I am so sorry you had a rough morning. I hope you are ok, I am worried. I would like to hear about your session. You know where to find me. Keep your head up, I know you can get through this. Hey, thanks for the offer the other day that was very nice of you. You are such a wonderful caring person and I am looking forward to talking to you again.
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hey wants me bk but i cant forget how much he hurt me
WyseOne replied to emma201279's topic in Getting Back Together
First I think he is a standup guy. He knew he was not going to be able to provide the attention he felt you deserved and explained why which is very respectful. I can't see why things shouldn't be able to work out if you both have feelings for eachother. Ask him what his intentions are with you and take it slow. -
Irishgurl, sorry this morning was so hard for you. If you want to talk you know where I am. Hang in there.
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I guess I feel really bad for what happened that day and needed to confirm if my reactions were innapropriate or not, if it was normal for me to feel the way I did. Yes, your response has helped greatly. I know if someone really loved and cared for someone that they should not have been excluded from certain events in their partners life regardless of what their friends thought or what they assumed their friends thought. The thing that really bothers me is this friends situation happened very early on in the relationship so I guess our relationship was not very important to her and I was just blinded with my extreme love for her. Just seems like it was doomed from the start and I kept fighting and hoping the friends thing would change in time, that she would somehow snap out of it and realize what affect it was having on us. The other thing is she wants to remain friends when she is ready, atleast that's what she says. I don't feel this is someone I can be friends with, as far as I am concerned I wasn't treated as a friend while we were together or else she wouldn't have allowed her other friend(s) come between us and when he had an argument she shouldn't have ran to her family and involve them which in turn made me look like a bad person, they don't know the true relationship, they just know what she told them when she was upset because of the argument and I am certain the comments they made had a huge influence on her deciding to leave the relationship. Sure at the time we were both upset and said things we didn't mean, who doesn't but I would never tell anyone especially family anything to make her look bad. I would like to take the thoughts of others and go with that.
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Dating a self confessed "shy" person.. HELP!
WyseOne replied to antigravity's topic in Dating Advice
Instead, have a heart to heart with here and ger to know her past. This could be low self-esteem and she feels SAFE staying in the place she knows. -
I cheated on my first girlfriend and I will not let it happen again. So no not all cheaters stay cheaters. I would also not end a relationship with someone I love just to be with someone else.
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Yes she did but I was not going to move on over them, I knew why she was like that I just didn't know how to handle it at the time. At the time I didn't realize what affects her childhood had on her, knowing what I know now from the research I have done I would have not let it affect me the way it did however my psychiatrist told me it was very normal to feel the way I did at the time and anyone would have been extremelly upset about it. It was very rejecting and considered emotional abuse however i know she didn't mean it, she was VERY caring and never wanted to upset anyone. Why do I keep defending her actions?
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Ok, now that night I called her, I was drunk and very upset about what happed. When she answered I asked if she had fun and she said YES, I was hurt so I said I have to go now. She lashed out and said "^$#% you" because I didn't say Happy Birthday which I was going to do the next day considering I was not invited that night. Was I wrong?
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Thank you, I didn't think anything should make what she did justified. I did end up forgiving her for it, sure I thought about it but I am not type of person that would resent anyone for things that happened or let it interfere with the future of the relationship.
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Oh god there is too much to say. She never came to me for anything, she would get frustrated over everything she tried to do almost like she thought she would fail before she even tried, she couldn't ask for help, she always thought I was judging her even though wasn't. It was all due to her childhood, I guess I just needed some affection from her, anything that made me feel needed or wanted but she didn't know how to show affection and held in ALL her feelings in turn I would get upset very easily, I felt unimportant to her however I loved her more than anything in this world, I guess you can say it was an ongoing battle that didn't have to be and it could have been turned around at any point. It was very early on that the friend did not like me and I knew something was up because I was never wanted around them however it was about 4 months later when she actually told me, then she said she didn't need them and that they are treating her differently then about a month later she was getting upset that they don't care about her, they don't call her. When I asked her to call them she said she felt stupid. For some reason she always felt stupid reaching out to people. Anyways I know she blames me for her friends treating her differently. She found it difficult to even talk to her friends on the phone with me present.
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Sorry, at the time we were together. I would have done anything to make the relationship work unfortunately she wouldn't or for some reason she couldn't and I know why now however for her it is too late.
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We are no longer together, she left me over a month ago. I am only shy when getting to know people, I open up very quickly and the shyness goes away. There were so many things that happened that caused me to lose my cool and it made her unhappy, something I have never done in previous relationships. I just know she is such a great person, she was a sweetheart but feared any kind of arguing in a relationship, she was very scared when voices got raised or when I got frustrated and lost my temper. I would never hurt her, I would leave the room and take it out on myself and come back however I would not say anything, I just wanted to keep to myself until things have cooled down to avoid any other confrontations. She just couldn't seem to let anything go, she held everything in and didn't know how to forget about things and move on, she couldn't let the past be the past and just work on the future. I am not saying it was her fault.
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Her friend did not like me because I was shy when I first met her. I also did not like her because of this, she did not know me. I told my girlfriend (at the time) that I would be fine around her friends, afterall it was her birthday and I wanted it to be a special day, I really did. She made me feel like it was more special if I wasn't there. Please keep in mind her self-esteem was very low, I know she had difficulty talking to her friends about us and it was her that could not swallow it not her friend, I am sure her friend would not have done anything just like myself to spoil the evening. I know she felt really bad about the entire situation and didn't even want to go herself but is that really any reason to leave me out or get upset because I wanted to be with her that night more than anything. They were invited but she didn't know if they were actually coming. She said it was up to me if I wanted to come, I said no it was up to her. When I finally said yes I did want to come she got mad and picked something up from the floor and threw it accross the room so what was I suppose to do? I got really upset I was very hurt, was that wrong of me?
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I know for a fact that it was not because of any other guys. It was strictly because she did not feel comfortable around her 4 girlfriends with me around due to the one friend not liking me. She did not hide anything from me however I have been told several times by my psychiatrist that if she cared about my feelings at all that would not have stopped her, she would have wanted me with her.
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We were together for over 20 months. Her 4 girlfriends invited her out for her birthday. Her birthday was on a Sunday however they invited her out on Saturday night, obviously who would do it on a Sunday night with work the following day. She told me their boyfriends were invited however she got upset at me for wanting to attend, she did not want me there. I know that she felt uncomfortable with me and her friends because one of them did not like me. She told me her birthday was on Sunday and that I was invited to the family birthday dinner. How would this have made you feel?
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I have cheated, I admit it. She was my first serious relationship and due to the guilt I had from cheating on her I had to leave her and would never put myself in that situation again. Rush or not, take my advice cheating hurt me more than it hurt her. As bad as I felt for over 14 years after leaving her I managed to meet someone and took my cheating as a blessing because I would have never met the girl of my dreams, the girl I wanted to marry, I say wanted because we are no longer together. I would personally never cheat on anyone ever again or leave a relationship to start a new one no matter how bad it got. I would rather devot all my time and energy to work it out then look for ANY excitement with someone else.
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Simply for the pleasure it gives them. I get just as much pleasure bringing them to orgasm as they get from the orgasm itself.
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Is this a sick joke? Yes is it better to breakup than cheat but is it really any different than breaking up to cheat? What is wrong with your boyfriend after 4 years to make you want to cheat? Yes I feel bad for her boyfriends as well, this is sad. If this is the way you are thinking do your boyfriend a huge favor and leave him for his own well being and stay away from the cousin. it will never work. If his cousin ever decided to be with you he is just as sick as you.
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You are not weird and neither is your question. The only thing weird is my answer. I would say it in a firm voice, not shy. Maybe add a friendly wink and see how she responds, just be prepared to dodge the slap.
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IMHO Happiness would always be more attractive.
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Okay if that is the case then ignore it. I just figured you have nothing to lose if you are truly at the stage of letting her go but are curious then replying with a simple "You left me, why are you contacting me" and then going back to NC shouldn't hurt you. Should it? Is there an answer that she could give that would hurt you or set you back?
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No one knows why she is contacting you except her. Could be she realizes what she lost or she may feel she is ready to be friends with you. It does sound like you have made up your mind and will not allow her to hurt you anymore however you are obviously curious as to why she initiated contact, would it really hurt you to just reply asking what her intentions of contacting you are?
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Wow, so much going on here. Could this be low self-esteem? I would start by seeing a doctor.
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Check your PM.