WyseOne

Oh no, I am so sorry.

IrishGurl I am so proud of you. I wish my ex would have done the same as you, she is the same age too. It would have made all the difference to her and myself and ultimately our relationship. Your Fiancee should be very greatful to have someone like you, someone that can acknowledge their faults and seek help. I know what it can be like for someone to not show their feelings and affection and the impact it has on their significant other and how horrible things can get. I know how it made me feel and I would have done anything to change that. It affected me to the point where I lashed out, I never meant to but the lack of affection was killing me and I know who I am, I know from past experience that the person I had become was not the person I was and I just didn't know how to deal with it at the time. If I only knew then what I know now I could have saved my relationship, after all I have researched on the affects of low self-esteem since she left I would have understood why she felt the way she did and got the help that was needed to make us both happy. I didn't realize what impact low self-esteem had on a person and the ones around them, I thought because I was the first and if she seen how much I loved her she would get her self-esteem back and things would get better, I was so wrong and I know now that it was impossible to reverse all those years of emotional baggage by myself and help was definently needed. Believe me when I say you are doing a very good thing and he will just love you more for your effort, when you get through this you will be giving him the biggest gift anyone could receive. I can only pray she can figure it out too so she can have a relationship she deserves, she really was such a wonderful person and I can't help but to feel so sorry for the childhood she had. Sometimes I wish I wasn't her first and she; like you had acknowledged it and I had met and fell in love with her later on in life or that we could start again.

The response she gave could only mean that she was offended by it, for what reasons no one really knows. See if you can approach her while she is alone and find out.

Is it possible that her boyfriend was with her when you texted her and he may have seen it?

True, trying too hard and not relaxing will prevent it. Good advise PocoDiablo but the anal part may not be an option for her.

Good for you. Okay what you need to understand is you did nothing wrong. Pushing for him to tell you his feelings wouldn't have been very effective. Look at how he acted, do you honestly think you could have believed his feelings even if he told you? Do you think it would have prevented him from leaving? Okay I believe you, he's not a cheater.

I was referring to sex. Give yourself a pat on the back for not letting it get that far and move on. Did he ever bring it up? how much time did you spend together?

Nadine I am so sorry to hear that. Was there any intimacy? Unfortunately there are too many guys out there that don't care about peoples feelings, always looking for something better. They get involved with someone, get to know them and then something else catches their eye and they think they are better off. I agree, he is not worth the time if that is what he did. Did he give off any signs when you were together that there may be another party involved?

The only advise I can give is try to give yourself one first. If the vibrator isn't doing it then you may try using your fingers, you know your body better than anyone. Once you feel comfortable giving yourself one then you can guide your boyfriend to do the same. It will help if you talk to him while he is performing oral, let him know when he has found the spot. I think you will both be rewarded in the end. G-spot orgasms are a whole different ball game and something that a lot of women never experience. Remember you need to help yourself before you can help him.

It was nice of you to invite your ex, I wasn't even invited to my ex's birthday gathering when we were together even though her friends boyfriends were invited that is how important I was to her. It was wrong of him to act the way he did and no one really knows what he was thinking. I would ask him what his intentions were and if you want him back all I can suggest is let him know. Could it be possible he left you for this other girl?

I agree, tell her now. You need to take responsibility. Guilt will tear you up inside.

What kind of orgasm are you trying to have? G-spot or clitoris? BTW, I am not a girl but I may be able to help. I can't believe I asked that. #-o

Can you give yourself an orgasm?

I don't think anyone can give you an answer to that. We do know he stood you up and left without an explanation, is that someone you want to be with? is that someone you would even consider a friend?

Not all women shower men with affection. My ex couldn't, In her defense I know exactly why but I believed if you truly loved someone you would learn how.

Is a walk-in clinic an option?

Please don't stress to the point that you are sick, see your doctor.

How was your relationship before marriage?

I know exactly what you are going through, I suffered from a girlfriend of 2 years that could never show me any affection and never complimented me which upset me to the point where I was loosing my mind and I started loosing my temper very easily and was not being myself. After spending time with my psychiatrist it didn't take long for him to determine that there was a lack of affection from her and made it clear that it is considered emotional abuse, when two people are together in a relationship and one is not showing any affection or only does when they know it is upsetting you it is not right. Love is a commitment, it takes work from both sides. Everyone needs affection, it gives them a sense of security which is required in ANY relationship. The longer this goes on for the more damaging it is going to be, you start to lose your self-esteen and start thinking you are good enough for your partner that there must be something wrong with you. My self-esteem took a huge dive, it was almost none existant in my relationship and I thought I was not good enough for anyone. My psychiatrist asked if I had previous relationships which I told him I did and asked how things were when I was with my previous partners, how long was I with them and how physically and emotionally I was attracted to them. I then realized that I was not the problem. I realized the relationship didn't end because of my faults, the relationship ended because my parter was constantly putting me down due to the lack of affection and I was not able to treat her properly, I started looking for other ways to satisfy myself, I never even though about being unfaithful I just starting to be materialistic, needing to buy things that were not important to me just to get my mind off the problem, to give me something to do so I wouldn't thibk about it which in turn caused more problems because I started ignoring her. I started talking to another girl just to get some reaction from her that would make me feel like she did really want me. I should have ended it along time before she left me however love is the most powerful feeling that you experience and sometimes it clouds your judgment. Now this is what I feel you should do. Something I should have done along time ago with my ex. Couples therapy, talk to someone NOW, don't let this go any further, you are not crazy but you are and will go crazy if you don't seek professional help. Stop trying to entice him it will only hurt you more. Find out what the real problem is. After all he is with you that means he wants to be, he married you didn't he? Find out what is holding him back but you can't do this alone, I can promise that. I never took this route, I too was thinking one day she will wake up but the longer it went on the more I did foolish things, the more she resented me until she decided that was enough and left. The other mistake I made was constantly bugging her for sex, she liked sex so I figured that if we had sex that would be the affection I needed however this caused more problems, I am sure she only thought I wanted her for sex but that was not it. At the time it just seemed easier to get her to have sex with me than to just hold me or show other forms of affection which is all I ever wanted. I should have been avoiding bugging her for sex and talked to her about just showing me some affection. Maybe that is what you should concentrate on, I know sex is the highest form of affection so that is why our brains tell us we need it. Don't make the same mistake I did, don't even mention sex start by seeing if you can get him to show simple forms of affection ask him for a spontaneous hug or a kiss, just something simple every once and awhile to show you mean something to him, I know it would have made the biggest difference with my relationship with my ex and I wish I knew then what I know now.