I'm just wondering what people think of the following situation: My husband and I have been married for 2 months (I'm 22 and he's 29...we have been together for 2 years) and sometimes I feel like he's not that interested in me and last night I ended up flipping out about it (will tell more later). I havent changed at all since we got married....its not like I'm suddenly in flannel pjs or sweat pants every time he sees me. When he gets home (I'm currently searching for a job...while he works) I'm always nicely dressed (not fancy...just jeans and a nice shirt...hair done...little bit of makeup etc) and at night I generally wear lingerie of some sort (I got A LOT of it at my wedding shower)...not always because I'm trying to entice him or encourage something but because I just find it more comfortable to sleep in...less constricting...etc.
Anyway, given that he sees a lot of me at night...I would think he would be more interested in being intimate with me. He tends to go on the computer when he gets home from work (for like 1/2 hour...not excessive) and then sits on the couch reading a magazine or doing designs for work and really doesnt pay *that* much attention to me. When we go to bed at night I never know if he's going to be interested in sex or not and so it always seems to be up to him when we do it. 4 or 5 days can go by with no sex and I always take it personally and wonder whats wrong "with me". He says that he's "always" interested in me....but honestly, I dont feel it. I get really bored sometimes...I spend all day looking for jobs and being alone and when he gets home I still feel like I'm alone.
So last night, when we are getting ready for bed he put on this big show about how tired he was (yawning loudly...etc) and basically covered himself up with the comforter and I couldnt even see him. He had his back to me and I dont know, I just got really ticked off and made some comments that caused him to call me "miss. cranky". He then rolls over and puts his head on me and his leg accross my entire body...and it was uncomfortable so I told him he couldnt sleep like that. I just felt so annoyed that I feel like I'm a toy or accessory he has in the apartment that he can play with and socialize with whenever he feels like but when he doesnt I feel ignored...or neglected physically and emotionally. I just couldnt believe that after 4 nights he wouldnt be interested in sex or me in any way at all. I thought the man was supposed to "want it all the time" but it just isnt that way and its not like I want it every day...because I dont...but it would be nice if he would show some interest.
Anyway, basically I ended up storming out of the bedroom (I couldnt stand to lie there awake while HE snored loudly next to me) and I told him that I felt like he wasnt interested in me and so and then went out to the livingroom to watch tv. I accidently fell asleep out there and I'm sure he thought I slept on the couch on purpose...but I did intend on sleeping next to him I just felt frustrated and angry that once again, I just wasnt exciting enough for him.
So today, he doesnt call me on his lunch like he usually does so I send him a pleasant email saying I hope his day is going ok and said that we would have a nice dinner tonight when he got home...you know, the usual domestic stuff. I told him I loved him and then signed off the email. Well, he doesnt bother to send me a quick email back acknowledging what I sent him or calling me at all and now I'm just as angry as I was last night. It seems like he has to have all the power in all aspects of our marriage and I think he probably didnt email me or call because he knew it would bother me that he didnt. He typically does stuff like that or says stuff to me that he knows will get to me when we're having a conflict.
Am I crazy for feeling like I need more attention from him? I dont want to be angry when he gets home but I dont know how to get out of it. Am I justified or being to sensitive about the calling/emailing thing? I dont know. Advice/thoughts please!
