maroB

Its been a while since i have actually posted anything here, but i guess it would be nice to get a different perspective on my particular situation. Basically i have pushed any and all friends so that i can guarantee that i will not be hurt by anyone. Last year was a horrible year in terms of learning what friends are, and i feel that I have to step back and think about what i want out of people and hopefully what they want out of me. I guess this might have all started when my roomate/business partner told me, "Well if you think like that why arnt you a priest?".... that totally shocked me. I mean its like i was being put down for being an honest person. To say the least i moved out and ended our partnership. I saw that person for the his true colors, picked up and left. But that conversation with that chap, opened my eyes. I started to notice that the people i hung around with were only using me in their own ways. One never listened to my advice, now she is with some ghetto drug user and i will not have that, especially after all my warnings... i say let her learn on her own im done with that crap. i put in my 2 cents and she did not learn anything. NEXT. A few stopped talking to me simply because i would not mix money with friends, and the list does go on. some people were petty and deceitful, others just used me. In the end, i came out with a feeling of disgust and disbelief. I feel that people only really have you around to fill in some sort of need. well enough of my ranting and sorry for the poor grammar, its way after midnight here and i must get some sleep. what i would appreciate is some feedback. and i would be happy to answer any questions.

i always felt that i was optimistic, but last night i proved this fact to myself. I work part time at UPS, as an unloader. and i managed to get my hand smashed. i feel that it was just bruised. other wise i would not be typing this up. =) in any case, it was just an accident and they happen, no big deal right? well i go home go to sleep with my hurt hand, and hope for the best. sudenly..... my brother comes into the room and wakes me up, i was thinking OMG! i am late for work! well it turned out to be a little worse than that, someone broke into my car. my brother was up at 1:21 am on his myspace when he heard something outside and stoped them from stealing anything. I am optimistic by always thinking that things could have been worse. my brother could have been hurt, i could have broken my hand, i could have lost my car, i could have lost my nine inch nails cds... err i mean my car stereo. its just a brused hand, and a broken window. nothing more nothing less. Thank you for hearing me out, its morning and all my friends are sleeping or at work. Best,

What would you do if she did come back? would you ever trust her? How can you ever look her in the face and believe anything she ever told you? i personally would never trust anyone that cheated on me. i guess trust is one of the most important things in a relationship/friendship. without trust you have nothing. why would you want nothing??? You really have to let her go. you have to want to not want her. you have to move on and find something to love. like the guitarist above stated, find a hobby. keeping your mind of her is a start. someone else in this forum put it really well, it went something like this. the person that breaks up with you has already made the decision to break up a long time ago. even though you are still going good and strong, they have already detached themselves from you. to put it more simply, they decided a long time ago to break up with you, and you had no clue. now you have to deal with their choice. Good luck, and practice the NC rule, (NO CONTACT)

i feel that what makes a first love, or loves, so special is the fact that it kind of wakes us up. there really is no feeling like the feeling of being in love, or falling into love. so when a person brings that feeling out in you, well you tend to never forget that person.

your next computer should be as your name already states... An apple computer. =) but in the mean time you should really pm "some_guy282"

You broke him, You see what happens when you don't use it? You loose it. but on a serious note, its odd that he did not get off, i wonder if he is stressing lately.

Sorry to lay it to you buddy, but there is no way on earth that your girl friend is ever going to stop smoking just because you ask her to stop. Its something you have to accept about her. if you keep on pestering her about it, she is only going to resort to doing it behind your back. I do not smoke but i have been around enough smokers and dated a smoker for a very long time to know these things. Habits, good or bad, are hard to break. The person doing them has to make a conscious decision to stop doing it. i once asked a friend who was in the same position why he wanted his girlfriend to stop smoking and he told me that his grandma died of lung cancer and he did not want to see anyone else go down that road. That of course makes sense but still is not enough to make someone stop smoking. Good luck, please do not let this issue ruin your relationship. You stated that you had lots of fun. its just one of those things that you two have to work out. if you truly do not like someone in your life smoking then break up, or compromise.

first of all, awwwww that is so cute. i wish you lots of luck, to the both of you. second, i am curious as to how your partner reacted?

why was the feeling different? was it cause you loved him sooooo much and you were so happy to have him in your life? or was it cause you knew it was wrong, as stated in a comment before mine? on a guys point of view, i would feel awful if a female started to tear/cry during or after sex.

this is a really loaded question. there is no general answer to this. It depends on the guy. If you let him, my younger brother will get you as soon as you let him. there are guys who say they will wait till they are married, but that i think is BS. There is no way in #3!! a guy will wait till marriage. Even if the guy is willing to wait till marriage will his partner wait? sex is a mutual thing, you both have to want it and you both have to make the decision to do it. (pardon my poor spelling as i am not at home, and spell check does not work on the browsers here at work)

Please do not make every single word start with a capital letter. it not easy to read. How long have you two been dating? do you feel that the relationship is to a point where you want to include him in your son's life? If a break up does happen, your son will find it hard to understand why your bf is not around anymore. I personally avoid single mothers as much as i can. i would not want to break a little kids heart if the relationship did not work out. if i did date a single parent i feel it would be right to wait a whole year before i get introduced to the child. its only fair.

get out get get out!! if pepsi did not advertise then we would not buy as much, why do you think no one buys RC cola? cause they do not get their name out there. the more you get out the more people you will meet and the more people will talk about you. it snowballs from there and one day... someone will ask about you or hook you up with one of their friends. or you will meet someone cause you did go out. i see it like finding a job. Jobs do not fall on your lap, you have to go out and put your name out there and if interested they will call you. Look its friday, we get out of work in a few hours, take a shower and go out, bowling, hiking, bicking, go play b-ball at the local park, go to clubs, go bug your friends to go out bar hoping... tons of stuff to do. Best,

Ask his friends.

hey you are right, its not an easy read. that actually implies that he edited the message from her, to post onto here. interesting. but assuming that the death wish was not stated by her. it still shows me that he cant let things go and should definitely go with your suggestions of NC.

3 months... well if you were going out with her for 3 years i could understand such a long letter. but for 3 months. a suggestion, pretend that she got the letter you just typed up and leave it at that. you will only be picking at the wound if you send it to her, because then you are going to be waiting for a responce. and then you get a responce, and you will most likely respond back and the pain starts again. cause that might give you hope. good luck

OMG you should have tossed that bracelet in the trash after she mentioned that she wanted you to die. i noticed that you kept on responding to her emails. You are just hurting yourself more and more. honestly i think i would have responded in the same fashion as she did. to me you come off as someone who simply cannot let go and is finding any little excuse to talk to her. like the person above menioned, you really should start the NC rule and stick to it. No matter how much you try, no matter how nice or straight forward you are to her. that is not going to bring her back, (that is if you even still want her back) just take heed that she is doing well and has moved on. if she contacts you she contacts you, simple as that. Good luck. btw its friday and its party day... go out with your buddys and meet someone new. someone that will apreciate that you found her bracelets =)

I feel I am ready to make my choice. I once again, will just have to decide to preserve the friendship and bite my lip. I learned a long time ago that you cannot make people change their minds about anything. You can only tell them what you think about the situation and hope that they take heed in your words. btw, mike drinks too much, does MJ at least once a week and calls off work all the time. But i have met Mike, he is a nice guy and if you take away his bad habits, i guess i can understand how she can like him so much. Jessie has her 4 year degree in liberal arts, is 22 and does not have to pay for school because her parents will pick up the tab to get her masters. I find it very interesting how some people just take a lot for granted and just want to feel the love thing. One more thing if i may add... I dated a drug user for about 4 years and it was all butterflies and kittens in the beginning but then the bad habits really took over. Theft, lying and cheating ended my relationship (but my ex did meth, and MJ was nothing to her.) so its clear that i simply do not want jess, to make the same mistakes i did and have faith on a drug user. its simply not that easy for me to see that she headed down the same path i have already been through. I will of course let her do her thing. Its clear that the odds are stacked against her though. But she is in love and she is happy right now. I am too pessimistic about the whole situation, simply because I am thinking about her relationship down the road, and its not looking good.

ok another update on my friend. Omg, i will simply post an email i sent her and her responce. in it you will see what i mean. ======================================= Yeah i know you are probably not going to like this email, but i am here at work and i was thinking about you. We are into Febuary and you still have not gotten a job. Also you have not registered for school or anything like that. you are being very lazy about the things that you have to do and being your friend it concerns me that you are getting into a bad habbit. Honestly all i have heard since you moved to Perris is one excuse after another as to why you are not going about finding a job. Jessie you have to get on the ball and get things done. stop letting excuses run your life. you have to tear down those things and move on. Its nice and all that you have a boyfriend and i am very happy for you. you think i liked leaving you there with ralph? (ralph was a friend of mine and she moved in with us cause we had an open room and she wanted to move back to so-cal, but me my friendship with ralph went sour and i had to move out before i did something i was going to regret.) hell no, i hated that, and its is one of the biggest reasons i stuck around for as long as i did. Jessie i can drag this for a long time, but ill cut it short. Make a plan, know what you have to do and get it done. exuses are just that, EXCUSES! To get back into school you have deadlines to meet and i do not want you to miss those things. and then i also do not want to ever say, "damn i wish i could have reminded you to get your applications done for school." so there, i reminded you and you better get your stuff done. ======================================= I hear what you told me in your e-mail ALL the time. It is not new news to me as of my job, my school and all that stuff. It is constantly on my mind and honestly I will do it when I want to. I am moving most likely in 2 weeks tho I really don't want to. I want to some days and then some days I don't. I just want to be with Mike and not living with him is hard. As for school I hate school I don't want to go back and no one seems to really understand me not wanting to except for Mike. Im a huge procrastinator and nothing anyone says seems to be able to change that in me. I hate working I despise it so of course I am going to avoid it at all costs. This is another reason for moving since I have around $10 to my name before I put this stuff on ebay lol. Anyways I am rambling, thank you for caring but honestly I am so happy with my life right now I am not too motivated to do much in the direction everyone seems to think I should be going. I just figure when I figure something out that makes me happy I will do it instead of forcing myself or having other people tell me what I should do with my life. That is why I went to college because I was told that is what i was supposed to do and now I am just happy being myself and living which has never ever ever happened in my whole life. That fact that I am truly happy 6-7 days a week is a goal I am glad to have reached. I have heard the "I am fkn up my life" lecture from about EVERYONE I know except for Mike so please don't think I don't know it or don't care. I care about my life but if I fk up my life I will not blame anyone but myself because people tried to help. Have a nice day at work hope all is going well. Make sure your parents know I am getting a package there for "Astra Andersen" since it's not gonna say Jessie on it. Also thankx for letting me use your address. I am not puting off your concern only telling you nothing you can really say is going to change my view only I can motivate myself. ~Best Wishes, - Jessie ========================================== I wasted a lot of time with a person i was dating and i am 26 and finally trying to get back to school. i feel that she is going into the same path i have walked. I am simply trying to get opinions and once i have enough feedback from enough people. i am going to sit her down and talk to her one last time about what she is doing wrong and leave it at that. i will not sit idle and watch her waste her time just cause she is in love.

A while back i stated that i had a friend that was having a hard time letting go of her ex-boy friend. Well i think after months and months she kind of let go. Which is a good thing. now we come to the new problem. She is so desperate to find a new boyfriend that she has been dating left and right. There is nothing wrong with this and i was happy that she was finally moving on from her ex. But she has settled down with this new guy that she hardly knows. She dated him for about 2 weeks and the two decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I would normally be happy for her and excited that she finally found a boyfriend. But.... he is so unstable, he uses drugs at least once every two weeks. He is bi-polar, if he does not take his meds he goes into his phases. there are a few other things wrong with the guy. I mean i know love is blind and all but when your best friend is telling you not to date a person with that kind of baggage i think you should listen. I can only assume that its not going to last and i.... once again will be saying, "I told you so." I am just ranting. This is how i handled this situation. I told her that i do not like that she settled down to fast, and if she really likes this new guy, that she better be prepared to make his issues a part of her life. i also told her that its not something she can change about him, but has to accept. But at the moment i do not think she is listening to reason. well ... at least she is happy. =) Thank you.

well you two can go out as friends and you can get to know her a bit more. there is nothing wrong with that i think. plus you might have yourself a study partner. =) Good luck

good luck. i personally try to stay away from single parents. simply because of all the drama it can bring in the future. if i were you, i think i would wait a good 6 months before i meet the daughter. you would not want her to get attached to you and then you two break up. i dated a single mom once, NOT GOOD. kids love meeee =) poor kid i left before he got too attached, but i did leave with a lesson learned. good luck.

confront her and put it down. Tell her that you do not appreciate her ditching you like that. And if she wants to remain friends that she needs to call you and let you know whats going on. dont chicken out and tell her that you have nothing to talk about. Tell her you have tons to talk about and one of those things is her canceling on you all the time. its not easy to confront someone but its a good thing to do. That way you at least get your view accross. Good luck.

I think i will confront my friend about how i feel about it. Although she might not like hearing that she has started to rattle my nerves. i would rather her know how i feel about it, instead of ending a good friendship. but i guess all i can really do about it in the end is, just be there for her. can anyone tell me why attractive females are the worse with butthead guys? Best,

quick rant on my part. My friend (female) is driving me crazy cause she cant let go of her ex boyfriend. I have been very patient with her and tried to listen and let her make her own choices but ... damn! I feel like knocking some sense into her. her ex not only left her for another girl, but moved out with her. put spyware on her computer to keep tabs on her. Omg this guy is a butthead. I am just tired and i think she really has burned me out. I simply am tired of telling her i told you so, and you should have listened to me. It has come to bother me so much that i am willing to just end this friendship and not put up with this parC anymore. Thanks i needed to rant on that one. =)