frustrated101

The thing is, he can't do anything more now because our law says that after the adoption papers have been signed he no longer has any rights to his son according to his lawyer. So basically we are looking for something that he can do after, like when his son gets older or now to let him know that he cares for him. His lawyer said that there would be nothing he can do now except wait until his son is older and hopefully he will contact him; unfortunately he can't get near his son because his son is usually with his exgf's husband and he won't let him near the boy at all without starting a fight and if my brother lays a hand on him he presses charges on him for assault. So basically my brother is backed into a corner and has no where to go. We were thinking of some way that if a child was adopted what would you think he would want to know or get from his father if he ever did decide to contact him in the future, his son is now about 5 years old and we still don't know if he knows that my brother is his real father. I'm the only one that can get close enough to him because her husband has never met me but I can't just go up and touch the boy without seeming a little odd. So basically we are looking for someone to give us some ideas as to what we could do for my nephew for him in the future for him to understand that we still love him.

I think you should forget about your crush and find another one. It seems like he is playing games if he told you he had a gf and then put on his msn that he doesn't I don't think he is committed to his gf. Which means he could be a cheater and I don't think that's what you would be looking for in a man. Or no offense to you but he may have said he had a gf because he may not be interested in you and just wanted to let you know in a different way without hurting your feelings. Which could be why he told you to stop asking questions about her. So just think about what he says and how he says things to you and try not to jump in feet first.

Well the story starts with my brother's ex gf and their baby they had together. I'm sure lots of people have been through this once before but the problem is that I don't know what to do or how to deal with the situation. She was the type that knew her way around the system and used it to the extreme she was with my brother for about 2 yrs and she cheated him a couple of times. Just to let you know my brother had low self esteem issues and ended up with women that use him alot. He has changed a lot in the past few years but now he has no contact with his son. The reason that he has no contact with his son is a long and tedious story basically she left him 3 yrs ago and during this time he tried to have contact with his son but she wouldn't let him plus she had a boyfriend (now her husband) that would provoke him to do something to press charges on him such as hit him etc.. They made his life a living hell just to try to see his son eventually he couldn't even get near him by the end. She brought him to court continously for everything she could possible think of to ruin his life. In the end she brought him to court and asked to have him sign adoption papers to her new husband but when they were in court she used the excuse that if he was willing give up adoption that she decided to change it to full custody on her part and he would have to pay child support but she said she would never let him see the child even if she was told to. She would just keep going back to court which in the end was costing a lot of money, she was going through the system, where as he was using his own lawyer on a minimum paying job. So in the end it was decided to give up adoption and he hasn't had any contact with his son since; we live in a small town and he runs into them all the time it is said that she has not told her son about his real father. The problem is that it hurts to know that she hasn't told him this and will he ever know that we care and love him still even if my brother gave him up for adoption. I want to do something for him but don't know what just in case when he gets older that he starts asking questions. Both my brother and I are concerned about him also because we have heard that the adoptive father may be hurting him. We have contacted child welfare but they call ahead of time before going over and they then are prepared for them when they arrive. So basically does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do for now or maybe for when he gets older? My brother and I would really appreciate anything that could help us. My brother knows that he has given up his son and has not right to him anymore but he still misses him very much especially since he basically watches his son grow up from the sidelines.

I'm in a relationship with my bf right now for the past three years, he says that he is not getting enough sex in the relationship. I don't know what to do anymore I was very sexually active when I was younger but never had a real loving relationship with anyone. This is the first time for me that I feel something real with someone for once. Sex is usually every two to three days apart, I think this is okay he says it's not enough. If you have been with someone for the past year and up how many times a week do you say you have sex? I don't want to get personal or anything I'm just curious of the ratio of people. Ps I am in my early thirties and he is in his late 20's.

Never feeling fully secure enough with myself and never finding the right person to share my life with.

I agree with Melrich, usually if a girl is really flirty she has a tendency to touch you alot in a playful way and there is a lot more eye contact. I think if you like her what would it hurt to just ask her if she interested in going out sometime that way you will find out for sure. Then you'll know whether it was flirting or friendly.

Supposidly I was pronounced dead on the table when I was born but then suddenly I took a breath by myself.. I guess it was a miracle or something. If this helps I don't know.

Thanks everyone for all your advice I now feel a lot more comfortable with my decision to not having children.

Well it can't be the grandmother thing because my youngest brother has two children of his own. One is with the mother (the x) and the most recent one now lives with her father, mother and grand parents all in the same house. I have told her many times that I am just not the type of person to have children.

Are you use protection other then the bc? It could be the bc that could be causing it but I doubt it especially after 9 months of using it. Have you gone for a check up? The only thing I can say is that I think you should see a doctor.

Don't get me wrong I love to be around children. I just don't think of myself as the mothering type.

Is there any reason you should be concerned? Like pregnancy or maybe have you started a new birth control?

Don't worry about it, it will go away eventually. Obviously there was something wrong there and would you have really wanted to be with someone that had no respect for you. She may have seemed like a great gf but was she really, think about all the things she did that really bothered you and think about your future would you have wanted that.You should feel comfortable with the person you are with and there should be no doubt at all that's what I think.

I'm 31 yrs old, I have bf that I love and I'm very independent. It has been 4 yrs now and my mother doesn't seem to want to let it go, she wants me to get pregnant. She says that because I'm 31 that I don't have many more years left and that if I want children then I should have one soon. Well the problem is, I don't want children. I decided this when I was basically 25 but my mother just doesn't seem to want to let it go. Is it wrong of me not to want to have children, I keep thinking that maybe I'm making a mistake? Oh and my bf has no problem with me not wanting to have children.

I don't think you are being too jealous, I've learned that when you can't control the situation around you it usually makes you feel unnerving. I think what she is doing is uncalled for she should have more respect for you and realize that what she is doing is inappropriate with her friends. I don't think you have to worry about her ex but the friends there seems to be something wrong there. I hope everything works out for you.

Don't feel guilty about how you feel when it comes to her. Live your life and don't worry about her at all chances are she problably won't do anything anyways you said it yourself she is much better and it was long time ago. She just needs to know flat out it's over and that you are seeing someone else and then let her have her fit. Chances are if she is depressed you are giving her the attention she needs by responding to her and her emails. You need to cut the cord and move on with your life and so does she. She won't get better if she keeps wallowing in her own sorrow and knows your there to fall on when she breaks.

I would just say as a friend that if she was interested in going to the dance that you would love to take her if she wants then you'll know. What could it hurt to ask her lots of friends bring the opposite sex to dances all the time and if she is interested in you a different way she will probably let you know at the dance.

BREATH IS A HUGE THING- IF YOU GOT BAD BREATH DON'T BOTHER Whiskers are the worst thing for me, I have sensitive skin and when kiss someone with a gotee or not shaving my skin around my mouth gets really red and kind of blotchy. Starting out soft is great then lead to a little tongue and more passion works for me.

I would agree just ask him what's going on and tell him that you don't like the way things have been going.

Oh she definetly likes you that's for sure, just go with it. She probably wants to do something with you when you are at your father's place. I would just ask her if she wants to hang out or something on the weekend when you are there. That should clear everything up I hope.

Let's just say that the game has been played before I've done it myself when I was much younger. The basic thing is to try and keep both on the side because she can't decide which one she really wants but she still wants attention from both of you. I wouldn't bother with her for sure, I can almost guarantee that she is saying the exact same things to him that she is saying to you. So I would recommend getting out of that one it can sometimes go on for a while and in the end your heart will probably get hurt.

I don't think you should be bothering with him at all whas a girlfriend and even if he says he is not happy with her it shouldn't matter. He may be using excuses to tell you so that you would cheat with him but do you really want to get involved with someone that has someone else. Do you really know anything about his girlfriend at all to know she may or may not commit suicide. That's the thing if he is willing to do it with you do you think that he wouldn't do it to you too. Why bother it's only a crush and he obviously only wants a fling because chances are if he is saying that she will do what he said he won't be leaving her guaranteed. Just think about the other person for a second and think about her what would you feel like if you were in her position and found out he was cheating on you.

I think you may be coming accross wrong with the girls because you are so nervous. I find people judge you before they know you just by first impressions on how you look or the way you dress etc... I have had the problem of looking very serious and have been told this from many of my friends and that it comes a cross as being snobbish or b&%$h. Unfortunately I don't make friends easily that way because people won't come near me. I am a very outgoing person and enjoy having fun. So I decided that the only way to conquer the problem was to continue being myself but I would be the one who would make the first move. I am much more nervous making friends with women then I am with men because of serious trust issues but I do agree with you from a women's perspective that is difficult to make friends with women then with men. Just try being yourself and if she doesn't want to bother with you then don't bother with her maybe if you don't pay attention they may start coming to you.

I know that I can't hide him from the world but I have guys as friends and he does have other friends that are girls and I have not problem with them. It just her that I seem to have the problem with she has really provoked me in ways that really bug me like asking him if he would ever cheat on me and writting things on him saying she slept with my bf. There are things like now that he is starting this new job she says she is going to apply there now and she has invited him to her birthday party. I think that if you are going to have the opposite sex as a friend I usually like to let the gf know that I respect the fact that they are together and she has nothing to worry about. I would think that if you were to invite someone to your birthday party at the bars that you would invite the gf too out of respect. She makes jokes about me and I sometimes feel like I have become a joke between the two of them. When I asked him if he finally told her he hummed and hauud and then told me he said that he clarified that when they talk or anything that they are only friends. The delay in his response is what bothers me it makes me questions whether or not he did say this to her or was he thinking about an answer.

I have a situation with my boyfriend right now that I don't know how to deal with. We have had a few confrontations over a girl that he used to work(within the past few days just got new job) with that seems to be hitting on him a lot. I had requested him to talk to her and make it very clear to her that she needs to stop she does know that he has a gf. He told me he did speak with her and told her that he wanted to let her know that as far as he is concerned they are only friends. Well I don't know if I like them being friends either because she still flirts with him and continues to let me know it. She is emailing him now since he left his job and has added him to her messenger. What the problem is that I can't deal with is the hurt and jealousy that I feel, I want him to completely cut contact with her but he won't. I want to trust him but he says that he will not have a relationship with me if I try and control him and what he does. I have never tried to control him ever I have never asked anything of him at all except to cut ties with this girl; she will continue to try and will eventually break us up. Which truly scares me because he is probably the first real good guy I have ever had for a bf. So I don't know what to do should I put my feelings on the side burner and let them be friends or confront her because it doesn't seem to be working with the bf if I say anything to him. I am having serious problems dealing with the hurt that I am feeling and don't know what to do about it. He says that I have to stop thinking about my ex's and the way they were and don't compare the situation that he would never cheat on me but if my jealousy continues he will leave me. It just seems to have to many commonalities. Is it wrong of me to want him to cut contact with her or should he have already done it? I can't handle the insecurity that I feel anymore. I cry a lot when he is not around so that he doesn't know that I'm doing it. I need some help anyone got suggestions.