frustrated101

The thing is, he can't do anything more now because our law says that after the adoption papers have been signed he no longer has any rights to his son according to his lawyer. So basically we are looking for something that he can do after, like when his son gets older or now to let him know that he cares for him. His lawyer said that there would be nothing he can do now except wait until his son is older and hopefully he will contact him; unfortunately he can't get near his son because his son is usually with his exgf's husband and he won't let him near the boy at all without starting a fight and if my brother lays a hand on him he presses charges on him for assault. So basically my brother is backed into a corner and has no where to go. We were thinking of some way that if a child was adopted what would you think he would want to know or get from his father if he ever did decide to contact him in the future, his son is now about 5 years old and we still don't know if he knows that my brother is his real father. I'm the only one that can get close enough to him because her husband has never met me but I can't just go up and touch the boy without seeming a little odd. So basically we are looking for someone to give us some ideas as to what we could do for my nephew for him in the future for him to understand that we still love him.

I think you should forget about your crush and find another one. It seems like he is playing games if he told you he had a gf and then put on his msn that he doesn't I don't think he is committed to his gf. Which means he could be a cheater and I don't think that's what you would be looking for in a man. Or no offense to you but he may have said he had a gf because he may not be interested in you and just wanted to let you know in a different way without hurting your feelings. Which could be why he told you to stop asking questions about her. So just think about what he says and how he says things to you and try not to jump in feet first.

Well the story starts with my brother's ex gf and their baby they had together. I'm sure lots of people have been through this once before but the problem is that I don't know what to do or how to deal with the situation. She was the type that knew her way around the system and used it to the extreme she was with my brother for about 2 yrs and she cheated him a couple of times. Just to let you know my brother had low self esteem issues and ended up with women that use him alot. He has changed a lot in the past few years but now he has no contact with his son. The reason that he has no contact with his son is a long and tedious story basically she left him 3 yrs ago and during this time he tried to have contact with his son but she wouldn't let him plus she had a boyfriend (now her husband) that would provoke him to do something to press charges on him such as hit him etc.. They made his life a living hell just to try to see his son eventually he couldn't even get near him by the end. She brought him to court continously for everything she could possible think of to ruin his life. In the end she brought him to court and asked to have him sign adoption papers to her new husband but when they were in court she used the excuse that if he was willing give up adoption that she decided to change it to full custody on her part and he would have to pay child support but she said she would never let him see the child even if she was told to. She would just keep going back to court which in the end was costing a lot of money, she was going through the system, where as he was using his own lawyer on a minimum paying job. So in the end it was decided to give up adoption and he hasn't had any contact with his son since; we live in a small town and he runs into them all the time it is said that she has not told her son about his real father. The problem is that it hurts to know that she hasn't told him this and will he ever know that we care and love him still even if my brother gave him up for adoption. I want to do something for him but don't know what just in case when he gets older that he starts asking questions. Both my brother and I are concerned about him also because we have heard that the adoptive father may be hurting him. We have contacted child welfare but they call ahead of time before going over and they then are prepared for them when they arrive. So basically does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do for now or maybe for when he gets older? My brother and I would really appreciate anything that could help us. My brother knows that he has given up his son and has not right to him anymore but he still misses him very much especially since he basically watches his son grow up from the sidelines.

I'm in a relationship with my bf right now for the past three years, he says that he is not getting enough sex in the relationship. I don't know what to do anymore I was very sexually active when I was younger but never had a real loving relationship with anyone. This is the first time for me that I feel something real with someone for once. Sex is usually every two to three days apart, I think this is okay he says it's not enough. If you have been with someone for the past year and up how many times a week do you say you have sex? I don't want to get personal or anything I'm just curious of the ratio of people. Ps I am in my early thirties and he is in his late 20's.

Never feeling fully secure enough with myself and never finding the right person to share my life with.

I agree with Melrich, usually if a girl is really flirty she has a tendency to touch you alot in a playful way and there is a lot more eye contact. I think if you like her what would it hurt to just ask her if she interested in going out sometime that way you will find out for sure. Then you'll know whether it was flirting or friendly.

Supposidly I was pronounced dead on the table when I was born but then suddenly I took a breath by myself.. I guess it was a miracle or something. If this helps I don't know.

Thanks everyone for all your advice I now feel a lot more comfortable with my decision to not having children.

Well it can't be the grandmother thing because my youngest brother has two children of his own. One is with the mother (the x) and the most recent one now lives with her father, mother and grand parents all in the same house. I have told her many times that I am just not the type of person to have children.

Are you use protection other then the bc? It could be the bc that could be causing it but I doubt it especially after 9 months of using it. Have you gone for a check up? The only thing I can say is that I think you should see a doctor.

Don't get me wrong I love to be around children. I just don't think of myself as the mothering type.

Is there any reason you should be concerned? Like pregnancy or maybe have you started a new birth control?

Don't worry about it, it will go away eventually. Obviously there was something wrong there and would you have really wanted to be with someone that had no respect for you. She may have seemed like a great gf but was she really, think about all the things she did that really bothered you and think about your future would you have wanted that.You should feel comfortable with the person you are with and there should be no doubt at all that's what I think.

I'm 31 yrs old, I have bf that I love and I'm very independent. It has been 4 yrs now and my mother doesn't seem to want to let it go, she wants me to get pregnant. She says that because I'm 31 that I don't have many more years left and that if I want children then I should have one soon. Well the problem is, I don't want children. I decided this when I was basically 25 but my mother just doesn't seem to want to let it go. Is it wrong of me not to want to have children, I keep thinking that maybe I'm making a mistake? Oh and my bf has no problem with me not wanting to have children.

I don't think you are being too jealous, I've learned that when you can't control the situation around you it usually makes you feel unnerving. I think what she is doing is uncalled for she should have more respect for you and realize that what she is doing is inappropriate with her friends. I don't think you have to worry about her ex but the friends there seems to be something wrong there. I hope everything works out for you.