BCBoy81

It's been a year since I broke up with my ex. She still shows up to car club meetings. I have yet to say a word to her and it's been almost 6 months since I spoke to her. In the back of my mind though, if she comes up and says or anything, I'll be receptive to her, but I see no reason to take the intiative to talk to her. But if she does, I will. I'm not being cold, just indifferent.

it's the "out of sight, out of mind" deal. I did the same thing with one of my ex's. If she wanted to talk, I was there.... but I really wasn't pursuing her friendship anymore. I had nothing to say to her, but she could still talk to me if she wanted. Hard to explain. I think it's just a guy thing.

DON'T!!! Half the time once they know you like them, they WIN and thereforeeee they OWN you. Women are pretty fickle sometimes - many like a challenge. I'd almost say hold off a bit and see if she takes any action.

HA!! I've been dumped - 6 month relationship - because she liked rap and I can't stand it.

Been asking myself that same question since grade 7

Well, she is a rather intelligent girl and she has told me a little bit about her past but hasn't gone into quite as much detail as I have. She has said she'd like to get to know me better before going too far as she claims she's been hurt pretty bad before. I thought I'd better make a move because I've lost girls before by hesitating! So I figured with the signals I was getting, that I should make a move. I dunno, the whole deal about staying the night because she didn't want me driving home seems that she cares about me as I told her I hit a deer in my car going home from work late one night. The whole comment about me having potential makes me kinda curious. She asked me if I liked hiking and I should call her this week and we could go hiking. She did say she'd rather have a friend more than a boyfriend right now. That kinda sucks. Like I said, very mixed signals.... and keep in mind, she's 18.

If you followed the story here: link removed Then you may know what I'm up to. Part 2 - Date 3: I'll try to sum it up. She wasn't impressed with Date 3. She seemed really hesitant to allow me over when I phoned. But a little persistance and she said "yeah sure". I took her some inexpensive Safeway roses (pink, her fave color) which she liked and instantly put in water. (Funny, I don't recall hearing a "thank you" ) Regardless, we watched the movie, went for a quick walk and around 11:30 I decided it was time to go, so I she walked me to the door and I leaned in for a goodnight kiss and WHOA! Major rejection. I kinda wanted to know what was up so we sat down and talked about it. For the next HOUR she wouldn't even look at me. She told me that she's not judgemental, but all her previous bf's were mechanics and that they all treated her badly and/or simply for sex. She'd also told me a few things I'd said the last two nights had freaked her out, and a person that I used to work with (who hardly knows me for that matter) told her things - nothing specific - how I talk about sex. I also told her the only reason I made a move was because of all the signals she'd been giving me, to which she replied she hadn't noticed herself doing any of this and replied with she "always" acts like that. Regardless, after quite some talking she also told me how she doesn't like the fact that I'm incredibly aloof and haven't shown her the "real me" and that she can't become attracted to anybody who doesn't "keep it real". I told her if I opened up and told her about my past, I'd scare the hell out of her and that she'd never want to speak to me again. Once again, she told me she's not judgemental. SOO, I did just that, I opened the flood gates and told her about the ongoing feuds in my family, the incessant alcoholism, my father's suicide and the tragic death of my first girlfriend. None of this seemed to phase her, even after I had broken down crying. Afterwards, she cuddled and told me that she felt closer to me after opening up. She also told me that we should take it slow, and remain friends. (GAWD I hate when women say that) But she did also say I had much potential and that we should just play it out. It was roughly 2 am and she told me she didn't want me driving home so late and we spent the night together in the same bed. Yet another weird signal. The next morning, we cuddled a little bit and I had to book it to work. She told me she'd be back home (another town) the next few days and I should call her and she gave me her number at home. I know it's only sunday, but she didn't phone last night and I highly doubt she will tonight either. Should I write this one off or persue it? I really don't have the energy to bother anymore.

Well, I just wanted to make sure. If this works out, she'd only be my 3rd gf. Hope I haven't missed that window of opportunity, but I guess you're right. Most girls decide in like what, the first 5 seconds if they'd sleep with a guy? Hmmm, I'd better pour on the charm tonight! 3rd Date means I can show up with flowers, right?

So, I've met this girl named Tracey thru a mutual friend. We've hung out the last two nights now and I'm trying to figure out if she's attracted or not. I think she is but, well.... read on. The first night we met, we did the usual dinner and a movie sorta deal. It was actually really fun as I've been single for almost a year and came out of a pretty abusive relationship previous to that. Anyway, the first night went rather well and it ended in a shall I say, more than friendly hug goodnight. By that I mean she was stroking my back. First time I've had that happen! Tonight, we just hung out at her place and watched movies. Here's where it gets interesting. When I first arrived, I brought my photo album and was showing her pictures. She was lying on the couch behind me, propped up on one elbow with her breasts quite obviously touching my lower back. Now, she is QUITE endowed and I don't feel that this was an accidental thing as for a good portion of the night while watching movies, she'd get a little close and would basically set her right breast on my arm! For the second movie, she watched most of it with her head on my lap, and near the end, she was facing upwards toward me, with one arm stroking my leg. I think this would've been a good opportunity for the first kiss, but I kinda chickened out. As the movie was ending, she was sitting on the floor in front of me receiving a back massage Afterwards she just sat between my legs for a bit as we chatted. Then we moved to her bedroom and she showed me her collectibles and photo albums but not much contact was made after that. When I said goodnight I got a hug but it wasn't quite like last nights. She did say she was feeling quite tired as it was past 2am. SO, Do you think she's attracted? Do I have a chance? Am I going to lose her if I hesitate any longer? Keep in mind, she's 18, I'm 23.... I don't like making the first move until it feels right but at the same time I like her and don't want to miss the boat. Looking back on tonight, I think she was sending me some pretty major signals and I should've made a move and that maybe by the end of the night she was maybe a little confused or disappointed that I hadn't done anything?? What do you guys think? We are going to do something tomorrow (friday) night, so, that'd be basically the "third date". Time to make a move?

Well, it looks like I won't have to deal with her after all. That stupid @#$%^&*( managed to get herself FIRED this past wednesday. It's probably not good to look at it in a humorous light, but we ALL saw it coming. Her attitude gets her canned every time she gets a job. So I guess I won't have to deal with her unless she shows up to the car club meetings now. It's funny but everybody at the car club is fed up with her antics and have made it well-known that she's not welcome, yet she still thinks she is. Some people just don't get it. Glad I don't have to work near her anymore though!

A few months ago, I posted on here about perhaps making contact with my ex. Well, long story short: I never did. I haven't physically spoken to her since January, the last time she showed up at a car club meeting. Some History: The reason we split in the first place was the fact that she was just a total BS-er. She would lie thru her teeth and I'm a person who *NEEDS* trust in a relationship. She lied about everything from her past, her previous marriage, amount of men she'd been with, etc. She even claimed to at one time be a model yet could never produce pictures or ANY kind of evidence. I was with her for approximately 8 months and in that time, she couldn't hold down a job to save her life. She changed jobs every two months but would never tell me why she quit (or got fired). When I first started going out with her, she had 2 jobs, a brand new car and a spiffy apartment. After a few months the car got reposessed, she lost both jobs and her parents had to start loaning her money for rent, food, phone etc. She went from being a Care Aide at two locations to a check-out girl at Zellers. Sounds like a real winner, eh? ANYWAY Fast forward to last thursday, the grand opening of the store where I got a new job as a mechanic. Much to my chagrin, who should be working there but my creepy ex. She was out back by the auto shop doors having a cigarette. (Funny, because she used to tell me she never smokes, but that's beside the point) Anyway, as I was walking out to get that mornings first appointment, she looked up at me and said hi and asked me how I was doing. I honestly did not have anything to say. I didn't even make eye contact and walked out to the parking lot to get a car. I almost feel bad for doing that, but at the same time I do want to talk to her.... maybe just not in a public setting. I've never really been in this situation. My last girlfriend and I split on much better terms. We tried being friends, but when I couldn't get over my feelings, we amicably decided to not see eachother anymore. It was a mutual agreement and maturely decided upon. In this situation, it was different. She just went out, started sleeping around, getting drunk, all around just being a complete *Bad word Demeaning Women Deleted* Then she started spreading rumors, then calling the cops on me with ridiculous accusations. I really haven't had anything to do with her since last september. Lately though, I have been hearing she's had a rough go at life. And I can't help but feel a little sorry for her because in all fairness, she and I do have a history. Just her actions over the past year have made me dislike her. Does this make any sense? Thoughts? Advice? Anyone wanna just kick me in the butt and tell me to forget about her? *sigh*

I have fun with rumors. My creepy ex started spreading rumors thru the car club that I belonged to. Keep in mind, I'd been a stand-up member of this club for 5 years and my ex had been there..... 3 months. Everybody knew my character and how much of a straight up person I am. One of the rumors my ex started was that I spent the night with two lesbians. (Yeah, that's how dumb my ex was) When someone from the car club told me about Tina spreading the rumors and told me this one, I just burst out laughing, put on a sly grin and said: "Yep! Both them ladies are hetero now" *wink* Laughs followed, and my ex soon found out that spreading rumors in a car club is NOT a good idea. She hasn't shown her face at the club since January.

Where am I meeting these girls? Work, Bars, friends....etc. I don't goto college anymore and even if I were again, it'd be a vocational college and in my first year, there were only 2 girls at the mechanics shop. One smoked and drank and had a kid, the other was french and just totally not my style. Not too many girls are into mechanics and getting greasy Trades School is not the best place to "pick up chicks". Not having many friends around here anymore, it's really hard to meet new people. And the friends I do have are stupid idiots who go out and drink, party, do drugs etc.... so they're no real help there either! Also, I should point out that I live in an area the is far away from civilization. It's about an 8 hour drive in any direction to a large city. My town is full of newlyweds and almost-deads. It sucks. I'd move but I can't afford it cuz full time work is next to impossible to find. *sigh* Any single girls on here??? haha

I don't get uncontrollably aggressive, but some girls like a little passion now and then. If you know what I mean let them know that sometimes they drive their man wild. *wink, wink*

I've found those I've met online, I'm more comfortable with them in person. The only explanation I can come up with is that I trick myself into thinking I already know them and I'm thereforeeee just the same goofy person I always am.

You know, if he's a good fella on the up and up, if you just sit him down and have a serious talk and ASK him, I betcha he'll be 100% honest. If hes a jerk just out for sex, you won't get a straight answer out of him. It's a serious question. If he gives a serious answer.... go for it. If he takes a serious question and turns it into a joke, question his motives and be weary. Aaah, mating psychology

I dated a 16 y/o when I was 21.... while I was madly in love (she was perfect in every way) there was just too much of an age gap and it fell apart

I have to agree. I came out of an 8-month relationship that I could best describe as abusive. We had good times and very few bad, but underneath it all she was slowly and deliberately trying to make me do things I didn't want. (Marriage, children, etc) But even after all the BS that went on when I broke up with her, I can't help but look back and remember the good times we did have. I too have been down Grief Road.... not a fun trip. The best part is to learn from the experience so as not to repeat it and the next one will be that much better Live, Learn and grow. I've followed this advice laid down to me from several people (it's a compilation of advice) and lately, I've never been so happy for being single.

Man, I *WISH* I could find myself a tall girl. Not that I'm very tall or anything I'm only 5'11" but I find it just an incredible turn-on to be eye-to-eye with my partner. I don't want to say that I'm shallow, because really I'm not.... but I've had friends set me up with girls that were like 5'1" or 5'2" and sure they were attractive and yes they were nice but they did absolutely NOTHING for me. I also found it a P.I.T.A. to have to bend down so far for a hug. Some guys love short girl, just not me I do know this girl that keeps popping in and out of my life (strange set of circumstances) she's 6'6" and we both have this mutual attraction thing going on and there's definite chemistry. If she can ever get her life sorted out and be in the same city as me.... there'd definitely be some magic. Yeah, I dig taller chicks too

If it tastes like chicken, keep on lickin'.... If it tastes like trout - spit it out! Personally, I just avoid it all together.

That about seems to be all I can find is girls who think drinking and smoking and getting completely wasted is "fun". Read any book and you'd find out that is considered to be anti-social behaviour. On the other hand, going out, and having a few drinks and dancing and having fun is fine! I think the key there is RESPONSIBILITY. Knowing when to draw the line so stupid things don't happen. If I could find a girl like that, that'd be great. Smoking and drugs is a definite no-no. That's just gross. I suppose another good argument would be for something in common. I mean, who wants to be with a girl that goes out every night to party while you sit at home?

gentle, kind, intelligent, funny and good-hearted.... HAH. I'm all of those and yet I'm in the same boat as Kyoshiro. I don't know what it is!! I've never had an instance where a total stranger has walked up to me and started chatting.... and I work at a Grocery Store!! Oh sure, I get the usual 35+ or 40+ year old women chatting me up and I have no problems chatting with them or making them laugh beyond belief. Sense of humour second to none right here, baby. From my experience, women want crass, obnoxious, rich party animals with no future. Why? Because "they are more fun". And it's really hard to argue with that one. How could you respond to that? "C'mon baby, responsibility is cool!"

Sometimes, I wonder if it's me or them. What's wrong with me? I can't seem to attract flies if I tried. My lovelife has consisted of a horny 16 year old, and a brain damaged 25 year old. My kingdom for a decent woman!! But that's just it!! I can only seem to make "friends". Not that that's a bad thing, but when it's a love interest, it's a real kick in the teeth. I'm an employed (though not great) 23 year old fella, 5'11", 175 lbs, brown hair, brown eyes and while I wouldn't consider myself overly attractive, everything is where it should be. I have many hobbies, am interested in tons of activities have an outrageous sense of humor and as I' said, I couldn't attract flies.... and I've tried!! Oh sure, I get the usual 14 year old twinkie telling me I'm cute.... and yeah it's a bit of an ego boost but get real. One of the problems I've run into is that I don't smoke, I've never done drugs and I rarely, (and I mean RARELY) drink. thereforeeee, I've been tied with the label "No Fun". Which is really weird because a few of my lush friends take me out, and we have a great time - dancing, singing, playing pool whatever yet at the end of the night, THEY are the ones hooking up. I admit, I'm not a fan of clubs. Dance music ain't exactly my bag, but if there's a live band playing (and they're good) I'm there!! Heck, I impressed the living bejeezus out of a bunch of people last time a live band came thru. I asked them if they (bassist and drummer) knew the song Johnny B. Goode. I play guitar and I know that song by heart!! Chuck Berry and Buddy Holly are my idols! They said yeah and I asked if I could stand in. They were shocked but let me and we rocked the place!! And still, at the end of the night.... my buddies hooked up and I got the shaft. And the girls I do meet always give me some kinda lame BS about why they don't like me. And it's usually something stupid, petty and shallow. Now, I know what you're going to say "Those girls aren't worth your time" Sure, allright fine. BUT ALL OF THEM?????? What does it take? My first GF just wanted to lose her virginity, the second one was a gold-digger that saw an opportunity in me after her husband of 3 years divorced her. As soon as she heard that I had money put away, the dollar signs in her eyes lit up and she was on me like stink on a monkey. As soon as my mother said (to my ex) that I wasn't going to get a red cent as long as I was with her (the ex) she took off and went and latched onto the first man she could get her claws into. Now, I have to admit, I'm glad that I didn't get roped into that one, but at the same time.... I felt hurt because THAT is all I could attract. Most girls don't even give me a second glance. I've tried online dating, I've taken self-help courses, read thousands of books on the subject and it just seems the more I try the more I fail. Am I not emitting a certain pheromone or what? All they ever want to be is friends.... If I'm lucky. If they want to stay friends, they're always "busy" and I never see them again. They always say it but never mean it. To make a long rant short, WHAT DOES IT TAKE?? How does anybody else attract a mate? I hate to say it but desperation has set in a long time ago. I'm going to be turning 24 and whereas most guys my age have had many relationships and/or are even getting married, here I am.... alone and going mad. I've even run out of single guy friends to hang out with cuz they're all either shacked up, married, expecting or something!!

Try Don McClean's "Vincent". It's on the American Pie album. One of few songs that'll bring me to tears.

Losing parents sucks. My old man killed himself 4 years ago. My mum, I'm pretty sure is slowly losing her mind. Not to mention she's an alcoholic and verbally abusive towards myself, yet my brother can do no wrong. Here I am, the squeeky clean one with money put away and several fun hobbies, while he's the drug user, smoker alcoholic. *sigh* In a way, yes, I too have lost the will to achieve.... but, at the same time I want to achieve so that after years of abuse, I can show them that I'm the better person. All my friends (the few that I have) continue to tell me to get out of her and start my own life. Getting to that point I think. Maybe that's something you too could consider. I live in an area where there are many painful memories. Too many to want to list here. Perhaps a change of venue is in order. Change is good.