BCBoy81

K, no flowers then. lol Gawd I hate social interaction.

Allright, thanks guys! Just to answer a few questions, we have seen what eachother look like not only exchanging pictures, but also once on eachother's webcams. I will say we've done a little flirting on MSN but nothing hardcore. Also I think she may have an issue as she's 4 inches taller than me. I dunno. I leave tomorrow, so I shall soon find out! Gonna play it cool. You think a yellow rose is out of line? That is the "friendship" flower, is it not?

Lost mine at 22 with a 26 year old. Had the opportunity to lose it to a 17 year old when I was 21. Hard to though when you're really in love and scared out of your mind!

So, I've been talking with this gal I met off Lavalife for over a month now. All that time, we've both done the usual flirting, talking about common interests, astrology, music, etc. I have made plans to be in this girl's city this coming weekend. But, this past weekend, I was at my sisters using her MSN and this girl and I are chatting on MSN and she says this: "I just want to make one thing clear for when you come down. I just wanna hang out and be friends and stuff. Nothing romantic. Is that ok?" (I'm paraphrasing, but that was about what she said) When my sister read this over my shoulder, she knew the situation and just said "aww" and gave me a big hug. She knows I'm kind of on the market for someone new. Now, I should point out at this time, I have been trying to move to her city since long before I met her. Life keeps throwing me curve balls. I should also point out that I'm 23, she's 28 - but we have LOTS in common. In my experience, what she said could probably be translated thusly: 1) That she just wants to remain friends. End of story. 2) She wants to actually meet me and see where things go from there. 3) "Try Harder, Stupid" Hard to really know what to do until I meet her. Personally, I think as the weekend grows closer, she may be getting a little more nervous and that can be expected. Could be she's met someone locally that she likes more than me. *sigh* I really dig her and I dunno if I could handle the "just friends" bit. I always get shafted to being "just friends". What am I asking???? Well, what would you do in my position?? I think I'm just going to play it cool, and see how things go. But I went from being ecstatic that I am interested in someone new (been single over a year now) and now I'm just in the dumps that she said that.

LOL. Immature people will do that. Funny thing is, if these people know the REAL you, it'll just show how ridiculous your ex is. Personal experience: When my ex and I split, she kept coming around to our car club meetings. I did stop going to avoid her, and that's when the rumors started. The funny thing was, EVERYBODY in the club knows who I am and they've known me for the past 6 years. After I had dealt with my own issues and started going back to the club (after hearing many rumors spread about myself) I was surprised to find that 95% of the club members SHUNNED my ex, and they DO NOT like her at all and the general consensus is many of the members wish she'd disappear as fast as she came in. *laughs* Everybody still treats me just the same, if not better than before because now they realize just what a screwball my ex was. So, if these rumors are being spread around, here's a little advice: Do these people that believe the rumors have any impact on your life?? If not, then ignore them. Do you have any true friends that are believing the rumors?? If no, then you got some really good friends! Ignore rumors. I do. Matter of fact, I have fun with them!! One of the rumors my ex spread about me was apparently one night I spent the night with two lesbians. When a few people asked me about it, I just smirked and said "Yep. Both them girls are heterosexual now!"

Nice! Another Astrology person! I'm a Leo myself. Never, EVER try to control the leader. We're the Lion, we roar. We are King and answer to no one. My ex did the same things yours did, Miquel. The whole clingy thing is really unimpressive. My ex WAS trying to control me. After our breakup, she confided in one of my good friends she was trying to get PREGNANT with me so that she could hang onto me longer!! Scary, no?

Then enjoy it while you can!! I think my record is roughly two hours, but that was stop n' go

I'd say You sir, are a god and I bow to thee! Unless it's painful, I don't think there's a problem. If it becomes painful or becomes numb.... then you have an issue. Viagra itself states that if an erection lasts for more than 8 hours and becomes painful or tender that you should consult a physician. Viagra's main purpose is to hold closed what is basically a small "drain back" valve in your penis. With this valve closed, blood goes in, doesn't come out! Nice concept, eh? BUT, should this valve stay shut, complications come up. But if you're not in any pain, aren't experiencing numbness and your winky isn't turning funny colors.... I'd say you're going to make some young women very happy Tip: Find yourself a gal that doesn't orgasm easily. Long-haulers in the sack are fun!! MY ex-gf would always pop-off before I did. Trust me, it's fun for a while, but gets boring fast.

Hmmm, here's my two cents, cuz I had to use this line on my last relation. She was literally SMOTHERING me. I didn't have a single day to myself where she wouldn't phone at least 10 times, or drive by my house to see if I was home. She wanted to spend her every waking moment with me. She kept trying to get me to move in with her, ALWAYS wanted me to work on her car.... meanwhile my own car was falling apart from me never having any time to myself! I was falling behind in hobbies and projects and basically NOT getting anything done. So, I asked her for some space. A few days a week FOR MYSELF so I could get done things that needed to be done. I never had time to see my friends and many of my friends did not like her. She drove my friends away!! So if I wanted to hang out with my friends, she couldn't be around. BUT SHE WAS ALWAYS AROUND. I asked for space after we came back from a trip to California. She agreed, yet.... she either never listened or didn't understand. She started stalking me. Eventually, I just told her this was NOT working and broke it off. I can now look back and say that it was almost an abusive relationship. I tried to make it work. I needed space to let things cool off and do my own thing. I'm a pretty independent person and having people around CONSTANTLY bothers me. She knew this. My friends know this. When I want my space, give me my space. Not a difficult concept. In my ex-gf's case, she has a brain injury and doesn't have the ability to know when to STOP. (Saw this many times thru the course of the relationship) When a guy asks for space, he just wants room to go out and do his own thing. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, it just means he wants to do some things that you probably won't enjoy. If you can't trust him, then you have issues. But if your guy just wants time to..... say change a rear axle in a car or repair some stereo equipment that needs a tune-up or just veg out and listen to music that you prob'ly don't like.... he just wants room to enjoy the things he enjoys but you might not! Unless you're the type that enjoys getting grubby and greasy underneath a car changing out a differential. hehe..... My case was extreme, but at the same time does apply to other situations. HOWEVER I did NOT use the excuse "I need space" when I broke up with her. I did however OMIT when I broke up with her. My exact words were "I'm not ready for a committed relationship". What words did I omit?? "WITH YOU" One of my regrets is considering her feelings. I should've just called her a psycho stalker and left it at that.

And it's the women that say men are the ones that play games. HAH! Been down that same road a million times my friend.... women are trouble plain and simple.

Guess I'm one of few guys who really doesn't find it all that fun. It's not my cup of tea.

As a rule, I give people two chances. Three strikes and you're out. If this is offence Number 2.... unless you have serious interest (money) invested, I'd cut your losses and run. If she's cheated on you twice my friend, that's a pretty good indicator that she's not the trustable type. Though I don't know the whole story, you sound a little concerned over her because you share a car and living accomidations.... ever think she's using you for a free ride?? I've been in that situation. You have to take a good two steps back and look at the big picture. Though it's not my reccomendation, it's just my advice. Re-evaluate this "relationship" PRONTO.

I was the one that stopped the relationship in the first place. She was too untrustworthy and manipulative. Definitely not the kind of woman I want to spend my life with. I would just mostly like to be able to sit down with her and talk and to end the animosity between us. I don't even care if we become "just friends" I just want the BS between her and I to cease is all. Trust me, I wouldn't take her back on a bet!!

Well, to not go into a long winded story, my ex-gf has now gotten another restraining order against her by the guy she got together with after me. The guy she was with is a druggie/boozer/jerk and we all knew it would happen eventually. Now, I know she and I didn't break up on the best of terms and I was a bit of a jerk to her afterwards but.... I'm semi-considering breaking N/C just to see if she's ok. Believe it or not, while I don't particularly care for her anymore, she still is a human being with emotions and I hated having to watch her get screwed over by Doug. She did show up at our last car club meeting (I have no idea why, other than Doug was there) and she did say hi to me and tried talking to the back of my head. Should I perhaps drop the act and maybe drop by her place and chat? I know she's recently been having money troubles as her phone has been disconnected for some time. What would you do?

Just be patient with him. Don't jump the gun or you'll just scare him away. Be as kind and gentle and reassuring as you can be. I'm in the same boat. I'm 23 and I can relate to his situation. If you really do care for the guy, show him in OTHER ways other than sexual ones.

Something I learned about playing Poker (for money) with people I dont know: "Look around the table. If you can't identify the stooge, you're IT"

Some men (myself included) are just not serious horn-dogs. It's been almost a year since I've had sex, 6 months of that I was in a relationship.... some guys just don't have an outrageous sex drive. That fact does not bother me one bit. It's not unnatural nor is it unhealthy. What you need to remember is that in todays "modern" sex driven society, everybody thinks the world revolves around sex. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it doesn't. Is he still intimate with you? Still snuggle, cuddle and kiss goodnight? If the answer is yes to any of those, I wouldn't be too worried. Do you initiate sex every now and then? I know I've gotten bored having to initiate intimacy ALL the time. It becomes monotonous..... like a chore. Spice up things and maybe try initiating it yourself. See what happens. While a year may be a little long to some people, you have to take a step back and evaluate other area. Are you satisfied with the relationship otherwise? If so, you may just have a higher sex-drive than your partner. I don't want to sound like I'm taking your bf's side, but I myself am one of those strange few guys that has a lower-than-average sex drive. It's not really that big of a deal.

I came out of an LDR after about 4 years. Maybe my situation was different, but I found it to be extremely trying most of the time. It was just more hassle than the relationship was worth. Mostly due to the fact that she was in England and I was in Canada. We kept making plans to meet but something would always come up. Never got to see eachother. Telephone conversations were pointless, she would always skew my words and turn things into my fault. I will say it's something two people need to work at. It just won't "happen" if you don't try. You'll need a lot of patience. In my case, 4 years was my limit

Next time you see her, chat up a topic you know you both have an interest in. Talk for 5 minutes, look at your watch and say you have to be somewhere, but would love to continue the conversation.... if she takes the hint, you might get a phone number or the opportunity for a date. If not, ask her for her email!! A lot of times, girls don't feel giving out they're email is as obtrusive as a phone number. Hey, it's a step!! I've used it myself once or twice and it's worked!

hurtbylove: Wow, your situation sounds very similar to mine! As a Guy, I have to agree with the girls on this one. The actual ACT of sex isn't really all that great (My opinion) it's the ART of sex is where the pleasure is. The Gentle words, a soft touch, a slight caress, sensual massage and the almighty kiss. Of course, sense of humor and the ability to laugh also keeps things interesting.

You're in the same boat I'm in. I broke up with my ex almost 6 months ago. We haven't had ANY contact in the last 2 months, thought before those 2 months, there was a lot of #$%^ going down and the cops got involved with her accusing me of mischief. Regardless, I drove through her town the other day (just passing through) and I happened to pass by both the place she lived and where she worked.... didn't see her car. And it's not very easy to miss a '76 Hornet X hatchback. I'm kinda curious about her... I hope she's ok, but I don't think I should call. Do as I do and just keep telling yourself you're better off without her. I have to keep reminding myself that as well. ALL my friends told me she was no good. You may be like me and just get attached too easily, or you care too much. They've left our lives for a reason.... time to move on.

I'm very curious to know what guys consider attractive as sometimes, I feel like I'm a bit strange, as I seem to like a different kind of girl than most other men. Let me explain: I like a tall, voluptuous woman. I like a woman to have nice curves and not be stick thin. I find stick-thin to be quite UNattractive. Also, by tall, I mean TALLER than me, and I'm 5'10!! Girls in the past I have seriously dated have been 5'11", 6'0", and 6'6". The shortest I've ever "dated" was 5'9". Nothing ever happened with that one. Am I weird? Personally, I find it a super turn-on to be able to either look a girl straight in the eye or have to crane up a bit. Other than that, eye color, hair color etc.... doesn't matter! I'm not picky. What do you guys think, and also what do you like?

"Come Onto" can mean many different things. But for me, it's happened Twice. First time, took a girl to a movie. I honestly didn't think anything was happening between us, but when I dropped her off at her friends' house after, I got a kiss. This means a lot to me, as I don't normally get kissed! That girl later became my very first girlfriend Second time, going to a pub one town over with some new friends. My friend and his date were up front, me and the "new girl" who I kinda liked at the time were in the back. She was a "Big" girl (tall, voluptuous, not fat) which I also like. In an effort to make herself comfortable in my buddies tiny car, she wound up with her head and shoulders in my lap looking up at me. This is an obvious setup. We shared the first kiss a few moments later. I remember thoughts running through my head at the time..... Should I or shouldn't I? This is such a perfect setup! So, technically on that one, she didn't make the first move, but she made a perfect setup.

Ogari: Wow, you and I have a fair bit in common!! People, (guys and girls) who have actually taken time to get to know me and my flaws, still think I'm awesome. But it's the people who take me at face value (incidental pun) don't give me the time of day. Myself, I don't go for looks. I will say that yes, looks do count but only to an extent. I don't go for the super-model hottie types, chances are, they're too high maintenence. I go for the girl-next-door type. Someone who I'm physically attracted too, but also attracted to on a personal level. But, then again, I have "different" tastes in women. What I consider absolutely gorgeous, other people consider unattractive.

Intelligence is #1 if you want to have a lasting relationship. The last girl I went out with, although yes, she had a brain injury, was below average intelligence. She had 3 main topics of conversation: What She did today, What she'll do tomorrow and what cute thing the kitty did. Can you base a relationship on that? Heck no. I decided to dump her when she spelled "our", "ower" That wasn't the only reason, but that was the last straw. I could go into more detail but this isn't the right forum.