Inconceivable

I have major trust issues with my friends. I used to be very open with my friends, I could talk to them all very easily. Then they all moved away. Every year, for the past 5 years my closest friend has moved away. We can't seem to keep in touch. I feel like every close friend I've had moves away. I've liked one of my guy friends since November, he even asked me out in March, but I declined. I'm really afraid of becoming close to anyone, because anytime I do get close to someone, they leave. As a result, I've distanced myself from my current friends. I don't talk to them about what I want/need to talk about. I just talk to them about stupid stuff. When I have big news. or something that I desperatley need to talk about, I have no one to turn to. But I'm afraid that if I do turn to someone, they'll leave too. I could tell my life story to a perfect stranger, but I couldn't tell it to any of my friends. My most recent friend that moved away has been my friend the longest. Best buds for five years. She moved away in January. But I found that I wasn't really that sad. I never really talked to her. Everytime we called each other, she was /always/ watching television and not paying attention to me. During the commercials I got her attention, but she always only wanted to talk about her unrequited love. I eventually told her this, that I felt she was never there for me. She pledged that she would change, but she never did. Then she left and we talk on the phone a bit more, but it's always about her. I'm sick of the distant feeling I have from everyone. It makes me feel really alone. But on the other hand, I at least do have friends this way, just not any close ones. My friends have noticed that I've distanced myself. They've told me it's a topic of dicussion when I'm not around. But I still can't bring myself to talk to any of them.

From what she's told me, I don't think they really know each other very well. Both of them are single, and apparently he's been wanting a girlfriend. I think it's more that he likes the idea of having a girlfriend more than he likes my friend.

Ok...I have a friend that keeps asking me for advice but I don't know what to tell her. She has a guy that is asking her out and I know for a fact that they don't like each other like that. They've only met once as far as I know, and they've talked online and on the phone. She's told me a few times that she when she talks to him, she gets really bored; their conversations really aren't that great. My friend is one who doesn't really like leaning on others for support or asking them for advice. Usually, it's the other way around, I lean and ask for advice, which is why I really want to help her with this. She's told me that she gets really lonely, like she doesn't have any friends she feels that she knows well enough to hang out with outside of school or talk on the phone with, etc (I live in a different state than her...She moved about half a year ago). She says she wants to go out with this guy because she may learn to like him and he may wind up being the kind of friend or boyfriend that she wants. But she's afraid of going out with him because she knows for a fact that she doesn't like him that way (and he doesn't like her that way), and she doesn't want to start something that might get ugly. I don't know what to tell her. I'm totally stumped on this one, but this is one of the few times she's reaching out to me for help, and I feel like I really need to help her. Any comments?

My best friend of 4 years is moving halfway accross the country in about a week. I've never been good at giving gifts, but I thought something neat would be to make her some CDs as she'll be driving for a good 15 hours and it will help her remember me. We sadly don't have many pictures together, but I'm going to try and take some this week at school and use some I already have to make a little collage thing as well. Is this a good idea for a gift? Any input is appreciated, and feel free to recommend some songs! I don't have very many to choose from at the moment =/ Thanks!

I'm having trouble adjusting to my sophomore year of high school. I don't really fit in with anyone. I have tons of acquaintences, but I really don't have any friends. All of my acquaintences have other people they'd rather hang out with, so I never get to know them better. Even my friends would rather hang out with other people. I've always fit in before. I was always one of the people that everyone wanted to go to...Kinda like a leader? It's hard adjusting to this year when I seem to have no friends. I feel very depressed a lot of the time, because I really just want someone to care about me. But I don't feel like anyone does. I hide it, of course. Because it didn't help me at all earlier when I actually showed that I was depressed. I just want a real friend deperately. Someone that lives near me, someone I can hang out with on the weekends. Yes, I've tried being outgoing with people, I've tried being a friend people would want to have. Nothing seems to work. It's especially hard for me, because it's never been like this before. I've always had classes with my friends and they've always wanted to hang out with me. For some reason this year isn't like that. Maybe it will help if I do this: In 1st period-2 friends, both would rather hang out with each other than with me 2nd-period 1 friend who hangs out with me because I'm the only person she has 3rd period-No friends...However, I fit in the most in that class because nobody has any friends. We're all basically just there and we make jokes with each other. 4th-0 friends, and all my acquaintences have other people they'd rather hang out with. They push me away when I try and spend time with them during class. 5th-1 friend who has many other friends she'd rather hang out with 6th period-1 friend who hangs out with me because she has no one else I just want to belong, like I have in the past. I feel really unwanted and alone.

Ok. I had problems with my friend (X) and I finally brought them up with her last night. She's apologized and said she was a selifish a.. She really means her apologies, I think. She wants us to get back to how we were. The thing is, I don't think I forgive her. I still feel the same way towards her. I don't think she's a friend to me, and I don't think apologizing makes it better. I'm still mad. However, I don't think it's right that I should be mad. Two years ago, I totally ditched X to hang out with other friends for an entire semester. I left her alone. Well, all of those friends went to a different school the next year, so I went back to X and she completely forgave me for everything I had done. She wanted to be friends again. I think it would be hyppocritical of me not to forgive her, but I don't want to forgive her. I don't know if she can make up for what she's done/earn my trust back. I don't care about the relationship that we had/could still have. I have others friends I'd love to get closer to, and I really don't want anything to do with X. But she wants to rebuild the friendship. I don't know what to do/tell her. Can anyone please help me?

Have you had sex since then? If so, a pregnancy test would be suggested. If not, are you an athelete? A lot of girls that play sports have very irregular periods and tend to skip months.

Thank you so much. I feel really close to my guy friend, but that may be because he's the only person I've ever known that will listen to me and I feel comfortable talking to. We don't get to talk a whole lot, but he comes to me for help and I don't mind AT ALL when he does, because I know he'll reciprocate and listen to me. I'm still very afraid to talk to my friend of 4 years about this because we do spend an awful lot of time together. We're on the same volleyball team and she plays horribly when she's upset and it would make her feel a lot better to play really well. Plus, we have to be able to work together and I don't know....I'm just really frightened to have to confront her with this....

Ok, so my best friend and I have been friends for about 4 years. I love hanging out with her and having fun, but she has never been the type of friend I can talk to about my problems, or anything really. Everytime I try to talk to her about a problem I'm having, she always turns it about herself and I wind up either defending myself or comforting her as she spews out her problems. Well, lately I've been having a few problems and I've realized out of all my friends, I only have 1 person that will actually listen to me and advise me. He is the only person that will listen to me vent and advise me on what to do. I have lots of people that bring their problems to me and I don't mind helping them, I just wish someone besides that 1 guy would listen to me. I've brought this up with many people, but they always say that I'm just overreacting or being stupid or something. Back to my best friend. I've found out that she's moving away in 2 months or so. Like I said, lately I've been having some problems. But the only thing she ever talks about is how she's dreading moving out there, how she won't ever get to see if the guy she likes likes her and all this other stuff. Yes, I understand she's moving and I've been helping her deal with it, but she won't listen to me about ,my problems and it's getting harder and harder to pretend like everything is ok. If I tell her that she's never listened to me, she's going to get incredibly mad at me. And with only 2 months left with her, I don't want to spend them mad. But lately we've been getting into tons and tons of all these little fights and I'm sick of them. It's either tons of little fights or one huge one.

So here's my situation. My great-grandmother just died, and my dad is leaving either tomorrow or sunday to go up north for the funeral. I want to go to so I can see my cousins that live up there. I don't usually get to see my cousins. I saw them earlier this year because my uncle got married, and then the last time I saw them was 3 years ago for another funeral, and then it had been about 4 or 5 years since I had seen them. I really miss them, they're awesome people. The catch is, volleyball season has started. I made the team and we have practice all next week and a game next Monday (the 8th). If I go up north, I almost certainly will not be playing on the 8th. My dad talked to the varsity coach today (I'm on JV and my sister is on Varsity) about me and my sister leaving and the coach said that if my sister doesn't show up to practice next week she'll lose her starting spot until she can earn it back and if she doesn't come to the varsity tournament on friday then for the whole season she will lose her starting spot. The coach also might make me make up the practices (Which consists of a TON of work). I'm afraid I might lose my starting spot the whole year (I'm not too worried about the game on the 8th...I don't mind if I miss one game day.) Also if I go up north I'll miss school orientation, meaning I won't get my locker or know who my teachers are until the first day of school. FYI be coming back thursday night, so I could make it to the Friday volleyball practice I really want to go up and see my cousins because I rarely get the chance too, but I don't want to mess up my whole volleyball season to do it. Varsity coach is NOT willing to make an exception for a death in the family, he said that if I go and have to miss all those practices then I'm lucky to still be on the team. I'm sorry this is so long....Any advice is helpful! FYI dad is the only other person going so far...So it would just be me and him. His exact words: "If you go, (which you're FULLY welcome to) we'll be driving up. But if you don't go, then I'll just fly". We live in GA so it's like a 12 hour drive...

I doubt she'll believe you. My guess is that she'll think you're just trying to hurt her more because you hate her. There's just no way for you to come out of this looking good.

Teenagers tend to think a LOT about what other people think of them. He probably thinks that all his popular friends will look down on him because he hangs out with you and you're not with the 'in' crowd. Eventually, most people come to the realization that it doesn't matter what other people think of them, it's what they think of themselves. When he realizes that, he should be better to you.

I have a friend whose parents are divorced. Every few days he'll bring up how his real dad doesn't care about him and how lucky I am to have a dad who cares about me and is fun and cool. It makes me feel kind of uncomfortable and I just never know what to say to him. Here's an example of us talking a little bit ago: Me: Her birthday is feb 21st, and mine is the 23rd Me: so my parents were cheap and we shared a party Him: weird.. my brothers is on the 17 and im on the 14 i used to hafto share birthdays with him.. but not anymore cuz that was when my dad still wanted me to come over Him: atleast they care about you Him: my step dads more a dad then my real one.. so i dont have anything to whine about

You should never change yourself because you think others will like you more. Change yourself because YOU want to feel different. I used to be more of a guy than a girl, and I didn't feel quite right like that. So now I buy shirts that are much less baggy, but they're not skin tight either. I'm still rough and tom-boyish, but I clean up quite nice =) You can be both. Trust me, I'm just like what you described. Talkative, I'm quite random, very hyper, and I have a lot of guy friends. The trick is the find the you that you are comfortable with and then live your life as that person. If you don't like pancakes, don't eat pancakes! If you don't want to wear perfume, don't wear perfume! Just be yourself =)

If she told them that he was hitting on her, I bet their feelings would change REALLY quickly. Someone needs to tell this guy to get lost, whether it's her or her parents.

Just thought I'd say this....Remember that blood is thicker than water. If the younger brother has a problem with you being with the older brother, then I would think a good brother would stick by his family and tell you he's sorry. They'll be brothers for their whole lives, who knows how long the older brother will be with you. I wouldn't get your hopes up too much =/

Stay away from the things that make you sad. Whether it be people or music or thoughts. Just try to forget about them. Listen to happy music. Do things that make you happier. Take pictures, go for a walk/swim, jump on the trampoline, lick some doorknobs, clean/rearrange your room, do some crafts, play a computer game, make a continuing list thing (sally was a hamseter. Hamsters are scary. Monsters are scary. Mike Wazowski is a monster. remember those?) this is all I can think of at the moment...I hope you're not mad at me for posting on this topic...I wasn't sure if I should or not...Anyway, I hope you feel better soon and I'm always here if you need me! //edit: Just thought of one more. I know for me, I get happier when I make other people happier/laugh. So maybe try that? Just a suggestion...

This topic is quite refreshing! Being a teenager, I see that phrase tossed around a little too often. I had begun to wonder if I was one of the only ones who really understood how powerful that phrase is supposed to be. I see some of my friends tossing it out at every random opportunity, once after only hours of being with a guy! I'm just glad to see I'm not going crazy here! I had seriously thought that it had been incredibly (umm..what's a good word?) devalued? (Is that even a word?) The impact of hearing it was more like a "It's about time you told me" rather than an "Oh my gosh...It's real." kinda thing..

I have the same problem....I'm 5"9' and I weigh about 150 lbs. I'm pretty sure mine is muscle weight though, because I play soccer just about year round and I also play volleyball. Everyone says that I don't look a thing like 150lbs.

I feel so stupid right now. Ok..I'll try and not be detailed about this. I've liked this boy in my PE class since February. He asked me out and it was terrible. He stopped looking at me and talking to me, so I ended it, hoping we could go back to normal. I tried being talking to him normally again (I even made sure I remembered his birthday and told him Happy Birthday!). He took a week vacation last week, and the day before he left he was very friendly to me, like nothing had ever happened. Well, now he acts like that sometimes and sometimes he doesn't even look at me. Sometimes he'll talk to me, sometimes he'll just walk near me (I don't get it?) while we're supposed to be jogging (FYI can't jog with the rest of the class because of a major concussion I suffered a few weeks ago, but he is perfectly fine to run. He usually does, he's a very athletic guy.). I feel so idiotic right now though. I still like him, I never stopped. I forgave him for being a jerk to me, and I let him know that I didn't care about what happened, I was willing to put it all in the past and just be friends again. But I don't even know because sometimes he'll look at me and smile and talk with me but other times he'll stare at the ground and he'll mumble to me if I'm lucky. I feel so stupid for still hanging on to the hope of anything happening again. I have one friend I talk to about this kind of stuff and she tells me that she's astounded that I would hang on to this. She tells me I need to move on and I know I do! But for some reason I just can't. I've noticed that the days he talks to me I'm always very happy and I always say I've had a great day, but when he doesn't, I always feel like it's just been a waste of a day. I suppose I'm just ranting, I don't know. I just need someone else's insight into this, please!

I always enjoyed softball when I used to play, I haven't played for about 6 years though. I just started volleyball last semester in high school and I have to say I love it! It was a lot of excercise and the girls on my team were tons of fun! I've been playing soccer for almost 7 years now and I have to say, playing soccer was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Soccer involves tons of excercise and lots of skill. It's odd, because most people think soccer is incredibly boring. Well, they're WRONG! Soccer is very exciting! There is rarely a moment when the ball is not moving (As opposed to say, softball where there is a lot of standing around/waiting) Soccer is a very physical sport as well. When you and an opponent are chasing the ball, you have to be able to kinda push them off with your shoulder so you can gain the lead. I lost about 5/6 pounds every season, actually. Of course, I almost gain it all back in the offseason.... I could go on and on about soccer, but I figure I've already written too much! Pick the sport that's right for you!

I too used to suffer from shyness. I'm still pretty shy, but I'm getting better. I found it helps to practice being outgoing around people you don't know/won't ever see again or people you are very very comfortable with, like people you've been friends with for a long time. Hope it helps =D

No I'm not. I wear bright clothes and I'm very atheletic and friendly if that helps you get a better picture of me. I don't understand how I could've pissed him off though...It started the day we started going out. Like, I told him I would go out with him, and then the next time I saw him he was just like that. I know his brother is getting married soon. In fact he's leaving in like 2 weeks to go to California to go to the wedding, but I'm not sure if that's got anything to do with it. //edit: If it makes any difference, my best friend is in his first period class. While we were still just friends she and him would talk a lot and she said he was usually happy and fun, but really tired (it is first period). But like 3 days before we broke up, she said he had just become really mean and nasty, even cussing at her once.

Can anyone help me make sense of all this? Ever since February I've liked this boy. We weren't great friends back then, but he found out I liked him and we started hanging out during the class we have together. We were just friends until about 3 weeks ago when he asked me out (March 31st). We went on Spring Break, and I didn't see/talk to him all Spring Break. So we came back to school on the 11th, and on the 12th I told him that I would go out with him. That's when things started to go badly. He stopped looking at me. He stopped talking to me. He turned into a completely different person. The only time he would ever say anything around me was when I asked him a question, and even then he would always reply in one-word answers. The only time he was ever himself was when we ate lunch with his band friends. Our mutual friends told me that he was just really shy around girls. I was skeptical, but it was the best explanation I had, so I accepted it. Well, I found out that on the 18th, he had told one of our friends that he wanted to break up with me. He didn't do it that day because I wasn't in a good mood (I was having very bad headaches from a concussion I received on Friday and he was making me very upset by not talking to me/caring at all). I was heartbroken when I found out. It told me that he wasn't shy, he just didn't care. I've liked him since February and I thought he did too (this is a first for me...to actually like the guy that likes me. Usually it's unrequited by 1). My friend says his parents told him that he had to break up with me. I waited all week for him to do it (I was in a better mood on thursday and friday and somewhat on Wednesday) but he never did, so on Friday [the 22nd] before school ended I did it. He didn't acknowledge me in school today or anything. I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong here, just trying to get into his head! He won't talk to ANYONE about me/what happened. I got very upset today in class because we used to be really good friends, but he doesn't even care that all that is gone. I just want to go back to being friends again, but he won't look at me or anything! He never said anything to me about why he suddenly became shy. He just suddenly stopped talking and looking at me. How can he go from (seeming) to care about me [ie--Hanging out with me before school every morning, walking me to classes, hanging out with me during class] to not caring at all because of a title [ie staying in his first period class to avoid me {while we were still 'dating' I might add}, pretending he doesn't see me in the halls, ignoring me in class]