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shes2smart last won the day on December 28 2009

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About shes2smart

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  • Birthday 05/12/1964
  1. No children. I never wanted any. He had some from a previous marriage, but their mother relocated them several hundred miles from where we live. (Long story, lots of drama, upshot being she's a little cray-cray and he was never cut out for fatherhood anyway). For me/us, it was a non issue because neither one of us wanted to be parents.
  2. A couple observations from someone who has lived through some stuff: In my nefarious past, I lived with 3 bfs for varying lengths of time, none of the ones I lived with led to marriage. The one I married...well, the marriage plans were underway & concrete before moving in. If the topic of living with a bf comes up, I will typically suggest to the young woman that (based on my first hand experiences and observation of other people I know) it's a losing proposition. Unless he's an atypical 20- or 30-something male (or even a 50-something male in the case of my last bf before I met my
  3. We all have varying levels of ambition. I didn't truly find my ambition until I got budget cut from a job and decided I didn't want to work for someone else anymore. That's when I got off my ass and started my own business. I was in my mid-40s. I had the skill & ability to start my own business before then, but not the motivation. Having a steady, reliable paycheck made me comfortable and (frankly) lazy. You don't mention what your goals are specifically or where you want to end up. What I'd suggest is figuring out the thing that really grabs you. For me the initial kick in the
  4. One of my former bfs had a developmentally disabled adult daughter who lived with him. I dated him for a while and moved in....moved out a year later and broke up with him a few months after that. I have never wanted kids of my own and foolishly thought I could deal with that situation. I couldn't....and it would've been much easier for all involved if I'd just owned up to that early on instead of trying to make it work for nearly 2 years. Your "strong feelings" don't hold a candle to her kids (if she's a decent parent). You're not doing anyone any favors sticking around if you already kn
  5. Opposites may attract....but getting them to stay together is a challenge....much like oil & water. If you don't share enough basic similarities, everything will be fertile ground for disagreement, bickering or outright battle. From minor decisions like where to have dinner to major life choices like do we want to have children. This does not sound like a particularly pleasant way to live. How much is "enough?" I suspect that's a highly individualized amount that will depend on a number of factors...including how much a specific individual likes to argue. For me personally, the
  6. Because life goes on. If you're resaonably healthy and sane, you move on with it. Humans have amazing resilience and an ability to adapt to things. When people spend their time and energy looking backwards and keeping their focus on "what was"....that's when they create trouble for themselves....because we also have an amazing ability to get in our own way.
  7. Yup. You agreed to do something (or rather do nothing) and you're not holding up your end of the agreement. Then save it for another time. IMO, random gifts for no reason make more of an impression than something given on a sanctioned "gift giving" holiday.
  8. Uh, whose business is it, again? I have a full time job working for an employer. I also have a full time freelance business. My husband has his own full time job. I don't ask him to help with my freelance business. It's not his business, it's mine. So it's not his responsibility to keep my books, trouble-shoot my computer & technical problems, figure out how to get my projects done and/or make sure I get paid for the work I do. IMO, your wife's expectations are out of line.
  9. On facebook, I've learned things about people I've known in real life for a long time.....stuff I was probably better off not knowing, really. Like, who's extremely left or right leaning in their politics...who's pro or anti gun...or pro or anti abortion...or who went off the deep end proclaiming the End Of The World when Gay Marriage ruling came down a couple weeks ago. "Yup," I say to myself, "this person was much cooler when I knew less about them." I'm starting to think I should look at it the same way I look at TV....and figure most of what I'm seeing on there is not real and/or
  10. Introvert/extrovert....I don't think it matters one bit. I'm way on the end of the introvert scale. For all we know the extroverts are out doing stuff as a distraction from Dealing With Their Crap.....and undealt-with crap has a way of rearing its ugly, smelly head at the most inconvenient times. I have no way of knowing if that's true for every extroverted person, but by way of observation, I'm sure it's true at least some of the time and totally NOT true at least some of the time as well. From the introvert's view, it *looks* like they're moving along faster...but you need to remember
  11. I've found that the opportunities I've "missed" were the ones that weren't really meant for me anyway. Seriously, if you live your life with this idea that any decision you make could always be "the biggest mistake you make" you'll get to the point where you're too f'n afraid to do anything, ever. There was a guy who I thought was the "Great One Who Got Away." Tortured myself with thoughts about what was wrong with me, why didn't he love me, blah blah blah for 2 years. 2 YEARS. Then I ended up working with the girl he married. While we were co-workers, he cheated on her, ruined her
  12. So, essentially you're saying, "Oh, this way isn't going to work, so I'm not going to try anything else for fear it won't work, either." Guess you really don't want your dream that much if one setback is all it takes to derail you. I hope for your sake this is just a temporary mindset due to the recent events and not indicative of your overall approach to problems. Success = Fall 7 times, get up 8.
  13. Back about a million years ago when I was toward the end of high school and heading to college, I got accepted to the school that had the best program for what I wanted to do (i.e. "my dream job"). 4 months before I was supposed to go, I was informed by my parents there was no money to send me. It was too late to apply for any sort of aid (and due to my parents' income I wouldn't have qualified for anything anyway), my grades weren't good enough for any sort of scholarship (solid "B" student here...). That all happened 30-some years ago. I'll spare you the boring details, but here's ba
  14. People will twist their thinking in all sorts of creative ways to justify doing whatever it is they want to do. Doesn't make them right. Their rationalizations won't keep their butt out of trouble if they get caught by any persons/authorities who are tasked with monitoring these things.
  15. Well, I'm guessing the police wouldn't give a rat's patoot who he's selling to, just that he's selling. Why are you trying to justify/rationalize this as being ok?
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