Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 38

Thread: My husband and I canít come to an agreement on what in inappropriate in our marriage.

  1. #11
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    37,001
    Gender
    Female
    I think you married ? someone you donít really know. My guess is he is a party harty guy and hid it long enough to rope you in. Personally , I think 31 is a little old for that crap . I would reconsider that relationship .

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    U.S.A.
    Posts
    3,367
    Gender
    Male
    Well, let's say a husband is okay with porn, but the wife isn't. If the wife suddenly says she wants to look at porn, the husband SHOULDN'T have a problem with it unless he's looking to be vindictive of her prior disapproval. That's kind of how I view this situation. He is nonchalant because he doesn't think its a big deal... you do (or did). There can't be double standards though. I wouldn't go to this bachelorette party after the flak you gave him about these types of things, but you don't need to make a conversation out of it. He's just going to see that as virtue signaling about something he doesn't care about. Just don't go, and drop it.
    Last edited by Unreasonable; 01-11-2018 at 12:18 PM.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,351
    Gender
    Male
    For me the most bizarre thing is that he wants to do drugs. At this age you don't experiment with drugs. Probably he has been doing drugs for a long time but you seem oblivious of this fact!

  4. #14
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    37,001
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by dias
    For me the most bizarre thing is that he wants to do drugs. At this age you don't experiment with drugs. Probably he has been doing drugs for a long time but you seem oblivious of this fact!
    Absolutely. At 31 you don't just say hey let's try out drugs. It has been happening all along .

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,551
    I am confused...so you want your husband to not trust you?

    And you are saying everytime you go to a party with girls and there is booze or drugs involved, your pants drop at every dude?

    Your husband trusts you, and I sure he knows and you know that you can keep your pants on no matter what situation occurs. I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. If you are happily married, and feel secure, attending a party will not shake it or blow up your marriage. I have been to countless of crazy parties, and whether I'm attached or not, getting booty only happens if I choose to.

    You are now in your 30's - stop taking out your baggage onto your husband. By telling him how he may not handle himself at "parties" you are implying he has no self-control or respect for you. Don't sabotage your relationship like this. A lot of dudes do not like strip clubs, but will go because it's a friend's rite of passage to goggle some women even if they don't want to. Strip clubs do not cause cheating.

    Cheaters cheat because they want to cheat. It has nothing to do with opportunity or boobs in your face. Repeat, cheaters cheat because they want to.

    And in my 30's, I think I've done drugs maybe 3x in the past decade, so yeah, sometimes, it's a once in a blue moon hurrah to do drugs, and not a regular occurrence.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Age
    29
    Posts
    1,605
    Gender
    Female
    I agree with how you handled the bachelor parties, OP. My husband and I did something similar, we agreed no strippers for either of us. However, his best man happened to be my brother, and his groomsmen were my friends as well, so even if he'd tried to do something stupid, they would've stopped him. I find it concerning that you're married and still don't know his friends.

    As far as the bachelorette party, talk with the other ladies and see what they'd like to plan. A girls weekend in Nashville filled with line dancing and mechanical bull riding would be one thing, a girls trip to sin city with BJ lessons and lap dances would be something else entirely. If the other ladies (and the bride) prefer a more relaxed party, you should go. The bride will expect you to go. If they are all about getting drunk and wild, you 100% should not even consider going. Hopefully, if the bride is also right around 30, she won't be interested in a wild night either.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,325
    Gender
    Female
    After arguing about this because I felt he lied to me about being on the same page regarding the issue, he then proceeded to tell me he just wanted one last night out with the guys to DO DRUGS and go to the club and party! C

    I would have dumped him and not gotten married. Drugs are a dealbreaker for me. Now, you married a man knowing he goes wild with his friends -- so therefore you now accepted it.



    I know Iíll be pressured to get entirely to drunk on this trip). B


    and you know that you don't have to have a sip, right?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,325
    Gender
    Female
    Your husband trusts you,

    there is a difference between trusting someone and "not giving a darn what you do!"

  10. #19
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,416
    Gender
    Female
    I can only speak for myself.
    I can be put in the raunchiest situations and fueled with alcohol but I will still not cross the line and do something I do not want to do or something that my man would disapprove of.
    I would choose my partner carefully and trust that they would do the same.

    It's a testimony to your commitment that he can go to places where this is temptation and not feel the need and still come home to you.
    After all you can't keep someone on the driveway forever.


    I can't help but wonder that he's approving of you going to somehow `lead by example'
    And if you are adamant about these things then I am not sure why you are even considering going anyway.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member thealchemist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    1,597
    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    I can only speak for myself.
    I can be put in the raunchiest situations and fueled with alcohol but I will still not cross the line and do something I do not want to do or something that my man would disapprove of.
    I would choose my partner carefully and trust that they would do the same.

    It's a testimony to your commitment that he can go to places where this is temptation and not feel the need and still come home to you.
    After all you can't keep someone on the driveway forever.


    I can't help but wonder that he's approving of you going to somehow `lead by example'
    And if you are adamant about these things then I am not sure why you are even considering going anyway.
    This post 100 times over.

    I don't care how crazily inebriated I am on drugs or alcohol, I am not going to cheat on my wife. And I have been there before.

    Thinking with that kind of logic is just trying to ignore the fact that there is systemic issues in a relationship that actually cause the cheating, the drugs and alcohol just gave them the excuse they wanted.

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •