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tattoobunnie

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Everything posted by tattoobunnie

  1. Just because she isn't working, does not make her the maid. I work full-time with two companies I own, have two kids, and volunteer for a non-profit, and when my hubs wasn't working (COVID, SAHD, etc.), I have never ever once thrown "you don't clean enough" in his face. And she's not laying around the house...she's keeping your 3 year old alive and happy. Essentially, if you were to quantify her salary as a personal chef, housekeeper, nanny, she'd be making $120K/year...your statement is hurtful, and degrading. She's asking you to spend more time with her and the kids, and you play victim that the house isn't clean enough? What does a clean house have to do with hanging out with your family? I think you need to take a hard look at yourself and get your priorities straight. She is looking for attention and affection...so either figure it out, or she's out the door with your kiddo. Get a babysitter or take them both out, and go to the park, pick pumpkins, apples, whatever families do where you are, and do it each week. And thank her for her hard work.
  2. This line screams that a beautiful woman can't handle herself and wouldn't know how to keep her pants on. That a woman is a posession. Try this line, and say, "thanks, but I can hold my on," Abusers go very slow, and build up their intensity over time...so what you do in the meantime to find out...GO SLOW...don't sleep together right away...introduce him to friends and family, and ask them what they think about him. See how he treats wait staff and others. Meet him friends and family. If he's pushy to sleep with you, or makes you feel bad for having plans without him, run.
  3. When you are suffering from PTSD from emotional and physical abuse, your brain is so fried...you need to join a therapy group...what he did was wrong, and you could have been the most well behaved or perfect, and he would have still tried to tear you down. What he does isn't love...it's about control. Be strong. Lean on family and friends. Keep your daughter safe. Abusers escalate in increments from emotion to physical. From you to your children. Don't go back. Get help. Get therapy.
  4. If his daughter isn't important to you, then bail on going. But she sees you as family, and that's a big deal...so it's up to you on what you want to do. If you are serious about your partner, go, and be in it for the long haul. If you are just dating, don't go. If the ex is evil, I get it, but you get along. She chose your hubs and had their daughter, so she must be cool some how.
  5. What you saw was the tip of the iceberg. I guarantee you he's been doing this for a very long time. And probably with others when he was with his baby momma. You've been married 3 weeks...imagine after several years. You can get an annulment through the state under you were married under false pretenses. Do not be embarrassed!! He should be embarrassed for being a giant a-hole. It's one thing to chat secretly. It's quite another to work together, and make plans to meet by the toilets. YA-NOPEEEEE!!!!! Drop it like it's HOT.
  6. Get dessert at a ice cream or cake or dessert place. Catch a movie (in a theater). Go for a stroll (outside) with coffee in to go cups. See a band (if you have that in town). If this woman is special, do special things together. I guarantee you, if you try to Netflix and Chill on your 2nd date, you become a dime a dozen. Save the Netflix and Chill for a cold, rainy day 10 dates from now.
  7. Apply to colleges and tell him you wonder if boys will take pics of your bum too. Dump this disrespectful, lying, immature boy, and get with a real man. Mature, considerate men don't act like this...nor do considerate young men or boys.
  8. I married and had kids with the man that was living 3 hours away when we were dating, if people want each other, they make it happen. She may also not have someone...just letting you down gently or has been with someone all this time, and was bored. Some people like to keep a fantasy, and a person on the hook, or back up plans. Just block her number and delete. Delete off social media. She is a but+munch.
  9. Saying this to someone who's LGBTQ+ is pretty beyond insulting. It's implying they have a choice and can change their mind like the wind. I also find that you want to start a family with her, but haven't dated her in 15 years is a bit odd. How do you know if you even love who she is now? Or if she loves who you've become.
  10. He's had two chances. You have been plenty generous. Why put yourself through his abusive BS? You don't owe him anything. And even if you were the best kid in the world, he still would have been a deadbeat. So, stop beating yourself up about it too.
  11. You have PTSD, and it can take several tries before you actually leave because abuse "fries" your brain where they rip you apart to the point you are completely not sure what to do. He won't change. He won't do better. The only thing you can do is get out. Contact a domestic violence abuse shelter. Let family and friends know what is going on, and do not be embarrassed. These completely manipulative people do numbers on victims.
  12. Speaking from my hub's personal experience of not being to find work in his field during a pandemic, and not qualified for almost all available positions in his field because he didn't finish college, even though he's taken at least 4 years of college. He finally found a job that's in a completely related field, and starts in two weeks. It's one thing if the OP is just spending volumes of money. But, he's not. He has a great and free opportunity to learn, and he is looking for motivation. And on a personal note, I'm also speaking with my Bachelors and Masters...what I do now is 100% unrelated, but that education completely adds so much to what I do now, and only benefitted from it. I also find that once you get married, and have kids, getting back is school is not easy. The OP is 27...I am definitely advising him to stay in college to finish. The issue is here, he's just not sure what he wants to ultimately do.
  13. I should clarify. There are a lot of positions that write you off if you don't have a degree. Most hiring sites and recruiters will use pre-screen automations, and depending on the position, will automatically discount you even if you have a ton of relevant experience. And when I call it a piece of paper, I mean, you can get a degree in one thing, but down the road, pursue a career in something completely different, and that's okay. Many successful people have failed many, many times in their life...it's what you do afterwards by picking yourself up is what makes all the difference. In lots of cases, classes aren't even to give you a taste of what the industry is like. But you can get hands-on experience through INTERNSHIPS and Coops...they are your friends.
  14. A piece of paper will never define you, but no one can take it away once you have it. A degree always opens doors, so even if film and digital arts aren't for you, finish getting a degree anyway since it's free. Live with roommates to help cut expenses. Volunteer, join committees, go to networking events...you'll find your way. Remember, you need to earn a living, and you don't have to have it fulfill you. You can always have passions outside of your paying gig.
  15. Yay!!!! Congrats!! This is wonderful! High five back!!!!
  16. Just say your boyfriend won a trip to (insert some place far), and spend it with your man, whether loafing around the house or whatever.
  17. Next time, towards the end of the 1st date, ask them for the 2nd one with someone fun planned (no home dates!!!!) for a week away. Then, text after three days to get their input on what food they like to eat, or any food allergies, or dress code for the date. Asking in person, you get a good idea of what next. Texting the next day, even though, cool, you need to slow your roll. Anticipation is good in the beginning.
  18. Tell him to either marry his mother, or never ever speak to you like that again. It's either he's got your back 100% or he doesn't. And if he doesn't, this will never work. If your partner wants to invite guests over, they can clean the house and make the coffee. If anyone ever judges you for not having a clean house or coffee made, ask them what address you can use to send the bill to. You are the boss of the house, and I don't care who's bringing home the bacon. You never ever invite yourself to someone's home, and judge it.
  19. Never prioritizes you, and isn't sexing you up on the regular. I guarantee he spent 99.99% more time strategizing for his gaming, then doing things that benefitted the relationship. You're just bummed and stressed because your roommate is gone, but this was not a partnership. NEXTTTTTT!!!
  20. Tell him you can't make the Saturday wedding then because you'll be too tired from having a blast on Friday! T1t for Tat. Sometimes they need reminders, you can hold your own without them.
  21. Badasses aren't sore losers, and they help lift people up, not perpetually compete with them to keep them down. Humility makes you a badass. She's so busy focusing on being better than others, not the best. You should not be her therapist, and it's not your job to deal with her superiority complex. No advice other than, time to drop this person...she seems to live no room to make you feel good. It's seems to only ever to be about her.
  22. My office's company comes up on caller IDs as the old service provider, and this is after 15 years of moving on with our own plan. All those databases that mine data will use whatever data they have, and for Caller ID, will show what is is not system, not based on the who is paying for it. I think you maybe grasping at straws in this case. Just add him if you like him to your phone. If not, move on.
  23. Correct. Make sure to have your lawyer file for temporary custody of the home. Include that her work trips are a way she abandons the children, and are not fully work trips. You need time to decompress and away from her, so you can think clearly. It is impossible to do this with her there wining you up. This way, she gets to keep her househusband and child caregiver, while she's off banging other dudes. COME ON DUDE, don't let your little guy call the shots. You're better and worth more than this!
  24. What makes you think you can't do or find someone better than a homophobic, insecure racist? Honestly!? What makes you think you can't do better than a hateful moron? The only way you will ever do better is to actually want a real partner who is empathetic, compassionate, and loving to all, and he is not it! Either hurt now, or hurt the rest of your life with a narrow-minded avid supporter of discrimination.
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