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indea08 last won the day on February 6 2018

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About indea08

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  1. All I will say is that many of the med students and residents that I’ve spent any length of time with are incredibly arrogant and condescending. I think it’s partly a sense of being better or smarter than everyone else, but also a bit of a defense mechanism to compensate for some level imposter syndrome. I hate to be that way, certainly not all are that way, but being in the medical field, its just something that you see often. They’re very science and knowledge driven, and often lack empathy. I’m not surprised that being with her is difficult for you, it would be for anyone who didn’t also va
  2. I think your insecurity is fairly normal given your age. Society in general puts quite a bit of pressure on young women to be all these things, and mixed with that is the constant availability of attention through social media and other online outlets. Many young women feel some level of insecurity, so keep that in mind as you continue to grow through your twenties. Here’s the powerful part that you maybe haven’t considered. You don’t have to buy in to the BS. The media says only super skinny waist with a huge butt is attractive. I call BS. Society says you’re the weirdo if you’re out on
  3. I don’t think you made a mistake at all. You handled this perfectly, maturely...and I think once she deals with her issues and moves past them, she’ll think the same. Maybe the timing between you two was just off. ETA: I just saw your comments about your mates. They’re right, that insecure, toxic behavior is pretty common...and that’s why so many people are in unhappy relationships and marriages, or complain about their partner so much. They don’t have the maturity, levelheaded-ness, and standards that you do. Because of that, I have no doubt you’ll have a very happy marriage and a great
  4. Analyzing feelings right now doesn’t really make any sense. It’s been two straight weeks of heavy conversations and confusion. How could either of you possibly make sense of anything when you remain submerged in the confusion? I think YOU should cut the contact with her. You mentioned doing that to help yourself heal and move on, but let’s be honest, that’s not what you want. So if you try to do it for that reason, it won’t stick. By continuing to be in contact with her, you’re making the break up far easier for her. She’s kinda leaving you but she still kinda has you, which isn’t ne
  5. See the phrase I bolded. Everything you just typed...that is growth. I know it’s difficult, but everything worth having usually is. I think you should be proud of yourself, and one day, you will thank yourself. Hats off to you!
  6. So I’m a little against the general consensus here. The others likely have more experience with dating in today’s world than I do, so keep that in mind. But I did at least want to offer you an alternative perspective. First, ask yourself if the conversation were continuing with the same liveliness as prior to your meet up, would you still feel regret? If yes, then casual hookups aren’t for you. If not, then you should participate in continuing this further. You say neither of you has reached out for 3 days? Go ahead and reach out about a specific event you want to do with him, on a specif
  7. So what you’re saying is you brought it to her attention and she decided to continue on as is, with both boyfriends. What was the point of even bringing it up if you’re going to continue with her, while she continues with him? And yes, you’re wrong. Even if this guy goes away, SHE is the issue and she’ll find another guy. SHE is the one you should make go away.
  8. If this is really how you feel, then no, you shouldn’t tell the other guy. If you’re not going to leave her, then why create more drama? You might as well make the situation as smooth as you can, not because she deserves that but because YOU do. What do you want from this? I assume to stay with her and convince her to stop seeing him? I do think you should talk to her, but again, if you still want to stay together, you have to be very careful how you approach the topic. She knows she’s doing wrong, so she will be defensive. Your best bet is to approach it from the “help me understand” ang
  9. Girl listen. Who you pick as your life partner will have a HUGE impact on your quality of life and your happiness. That is why it is so important to spend the time dating to learn what makes you happy and what your dealbreakers are. This situation is so messed up that I almost didn’t believe it was real. What kind of 23 year old guy let’s his sister dictate his life like this?? When you imagine your ideal future, married a few years, couple kids running around, what does it look like? I’m sure it doesn’t look like this. Walk away, and keep waiting for the guy who will work with you to cre
  10. That’s a great point, I like the way you phrased that. Involved with the kids is NOT the same as being involved with the ex. She’s had SO MUCH DRAMA in her life because of the ex, so maybe this will resonate with her!! Thank you! I love her dearly, so if I can help her avoid this needless anxiety, I’d like to try!
  11. That’s what I thought was the case, so I suggested she not go. She was very anxious about it and it’s not even her problem to deal with. I know she loves them, but why drag herself through this mess when she has literally no input on the outcome. She looked at me like I was nuts for suggesting that. *shrugs*
  12. The kids’ mom has had a substantial increase in her income. As far as the change in schedule, I think that perpetuated from the winter break schedule. They currently have the standard every other weekend and wednesdays schedule, but over winter break they did every other week. They noticed a huge difference, we all did, in how well the boys behaved when they’d been at their house for a full week. Now, they spend all of Saturday trying to re-orient the kids to behaving, and then get one day to actually enjoy being a family. I think there’s more to it than just that, but I believe that was
  13. It’s nothing like that, not a situation where he can’t handle it. It’s more of just, we’re married so we’re handling this together. When she told me she was going to the meeting with the lawyer and venting about her anxiety related to it, I asked her why she was going, because I thought that was odd. Her response was something to the effect of “because I’m involved with the kids, I live with them when they’re with us, and it would look bad in the courts if she wasn’t there.” I think those are all just her assumptions, she didn’t really have a concrete reason. It’s not like she said “the lawyer
  14. Hi everyone, hope you all are doing well. I wondered if anyone would mind sharing their experience after having remarried, and pursuing an updated child support payment and change in schedule. Was your new spouse involved at all? Did he/she go with you to meet with lawyers or to court dates?? Everyone I’ve known to have gone through this did not involve the new spouse at all. Now my brother and (new) SIL are in this position and my SIL is involved (which is good, she’s wonderful and we’re all blessed to have her), but it’s been very difficult for her, partly because the kids’ mo
  15. A few jobs ago, I was in a similar situation, except it wasn’t one of my managers that was the problem, it was my one and only direct supervisor. She put up a nice front, but those of us that worked under her knew that she was unprofessional, facilitated drama, and wasn’t above lying to us. For about the first year, I thought I was the problem. I couldn’t quite figure out how to meet her expectations, or what they even were. I couldn’t figure out how to stay out of drama that she insisted on continuously pulling me into. After awhile, I started being more direct with her. I started tellin
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