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Everything posted by Lester

  1. Oops, sorry about that. ----- "Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson That's what the flu is like. Once you get, everything you thought you knew about the flu goes in the trash can.
  2. How Many Health Care Workers Got Vaccinated Last Season? 2017ā€“18 flu vaccination coverage among health care personnel (HCP) was 78.4%, similar to coverage during the 2016ā€“17 season (78.6%). By occupation, flu vaccination coverage was highest among physicians (96.1%), pharmacists (92.2%), nurses (90.5%), and nurse practitioners and physician assistants (87.8%) Flu vaccination coverage was lowest among other clinical health care personnel (80.9%), assistants and aides (71.1%), and nonclinical health care personnel (72.8%). https://www.cdc.gov/flu/professionals/healthcareworkers.htm
  3. I had the flu twice, once in my thirties and again in my forties. It was without question the worst eight weeks of my life. Two in bed, no sleep, hot soaking wet, freezing uncontrollable shaking, constant joint/body pain and can't eat or take medicine. Week three, slowly walking around the house, trying to eat to regain the twenty five pounds I lost. Week four, able to go outside, some small trips to store and a little work. Still weak. There's a lot of folklore myths about the flu. Don't think it's just a bad cold or you're young and can handle it. It can kill you.
  4. If you give advice outside "divorce him/her and see a professional" you will be bird-dogged by bitter divorces and marginalized. Their methods encouraged me to explore other forums, which I found exciting and who did not suppress. Enotalone seems determined to be the whatever forum. Too bad!
  5. The d-word is many times is used to express displeasure and even depression. Like a call for help. Stop saying it yourself and try to find out whats really troubling her. Odds are she has told you hundreds of times. Not necessarily out loud, but instead what was between the lines.
  6. And you'e really going to hate it. You should start to preparing yourself for the real world of a divorced man vs. the green grass fantasies you are currently entertaining.
  7. Failing marriages happen for real, definable reasons. It's our emotions that that make us think it's something other than that, and emotional responses can somehow fix it. The two most common reasons are incompatibility and neglect. Incompatibility can be a tough one because you never had the capacity or desire to marry her in the first place. Neglect or bad habits are more fixable, that is if you don't let it go to long.
  8. Yes, ask her to marry you and kick the relationship farce to the curb.
  9. "Or do I just keep my mouth shut and hope that this doesn't happen again?" - I think you already know the answer to that question. "If I confront her about it, she would just deny like the other time." - You have no choice. Unless cornered seasoned cheaters NEVER admit to anything. The novice, one time, big mistake cheater maybe/yes, not the serial cheater. The problem is you have to know, and with that information you can make informed choices. How to: When/where there can be no interruptions; kids with babysitter, all phones off no appointments for at least one hour etc. (Don't include her in the preparations!) Face to face ask her: "Are you seeing another man"? Watch her eyes when asking this question. As she answers, DO NOT for even an instant take your gaze off her EYES! Pay attention to her body movements but do not break eye contact. Memorize what you see! Did she interrupt you surprised at such a question and answer empathically no? Did her eyes flick away slightly and answer sort of robotically no? Did she look away, get mad and stand up and start blaming you for everything? Did she look up and answer like she reading a script off the ceiling? The answer to your question is hidden in one of those lines.
  10. Could it be a bad habit that went unchecked early in the marriage only to fester into the current gross neglect?
  11. Someone with lots of time observes the following: 1. Human's are fearful creatures who regularly need to hear hopeful messages about their future. 2. Planets, moons and other seem to create shapes and patterns that repeat annually. Ta-DA! The wonder of gravity/magnetism is born. (i.e. astrology)
  12. Guard your eyes, for they are where adultery/sin start.
  13. Young, misdirected boys/men can say all types of stupid things, especially when drunk/other.
  14. Did he offer to pay all expenses, maybe including a few extra days to relax and unwind? If not, why? Wouldn't he have expected the same in return? He has a lot of growing up to do. As far as making that happen, I think you are on the right path.
  15. "I'm confused, are you divorced or getting divorced?" - Redswim Me too.
  16. Probably the hardest part for the victims of infidelity is accepting that it is happening, quickly controlling the intense pain, and doing something about it. First Aid: 1. Husbands who waste time lose their marriage. 2. Stop all searching for more evidence, you have enough. 3. Today, secretly read James Dobson's "Love must be Tough" (Never let her see this book and forget everything you think you know about TL) 4. Even though you're nowhere near ready you must sit her down and talk to her today. Tell her what you know. She may laugh, or get mad, accuse you of snooping, brush it off or leave. THIS IS CRITICAL: If she leaves DO NOT FOLLOW OR CALL HER! If she stays, don't respond, beg, plead! Don't say anything! Do not leave the house. Remain quiet. If she rants and blames you JUST listen. 5. If or until reconciliation stop sleeping with her. Move to another room or couch. Again, DO NOT MOVE OUT! (You don't know if thats your bed anymore, until you do don't go near it.) 6. Don't tell her about this forum or anything you may be doing to save the marriage. DON'T TELL HER ANYTHING! At this stage, anything you say will come across as weakness and be used by the other man. 7. Don't use a device she can have access to. 8. Start thinking about if you really want to be married to her. Was it really a marriage or something else? 9. Weigh yourself and eat more to maintain a healthy weight. The brain burns huge amounts of energy during these trails. You will lose weight and look sickly, which will be seen by her as more weakness. Because of the faux attention the OM is giving her, she feels powerful. You must break through this lie with controlled confidence.
  17. Those numbers hint his fear of you. (Losing that is) You are both stuck in bad habits. You must keep asserting yourself.
  18. Emotional cheating, there's plenty of proof! If you want to save the marriage first read James Dobson's "Love must be Tough" Second, after reading it you'll understand the reasons why she strayed and then decide if the marriage is salvageable. P.S. Please stop using the Bold function.
  19. No comma. Commas are generally overused.
  20. Did you finish school/college? If not, that would be the first and best place to start. Btw, begging and crying almost always has the opposite desired effect.
  21. So you lived together for thirteen years, then she had a year long affair which ended with a proposal/marriage? If so, it sounds like a marriage for all the wrong reasons. (A non-marriage?)
  22. The love of money can be an addiction no different than alcohol, drugs or porn. It drives both takers and givers mad.
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