Jump to content


Platinum Member
  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Days Won


thealchemist last won the day on July 28 2018

thealchemist had the most liked content!

thealchemist's Achievements


Mentor (12/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Posting Machine Rare
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done

Recent Badges



  1. She seems immature and craves attention
  2. Sure. She might feel the need to come back for some validation only to rip your heart out again. But come back for good? Nope
  3. He sounds like a douche bag. Why cry over such an incentive jerk like that? That isn't how you treat someone you care about.
  4. You forgave her and gave her another chance. Now she did it again. What do you think your future will hold? I honestly don't understand why she wouldn't give you some reassurance. When my wife and I were in a LDR we would frequently reassure one another. Her talking to an ex speaks volumes though. When pressure is put on your relationship, instead of talking with you and addressing it, she turns to a former lover for a distraction. She very well could still love you. That isn't the problem. It is that she doesn't know what she wants. That is why she will continue to hurt you, loving you just makes her motivation more sincere. If she loses sight of what you guys have every time you aren't around, you either need to end it because you can't trust her, or you have essentially constantly mark her as your territory, which is beyond rediculous.
  5. This guilting manipulation tactic is such a HUGE red flag. I would NEVER marry someone who is so immature they resort to these tactics. This is how a spoiled brat gets their way. If you acquiesced with this she will use this tactic to manipulate you from now until your eventual divorce.
  6. You seem well aware of your errors in dealing with this situation so no point going there. You behaved in a pretty clingy way, but it also sounds like you were reacting to something very real. Now, I don't think you handled it well. However, I also don't think you handling it badly actually made any difference with the situation. To me it seems like you sensed her pulling back and freaked out in a not so mature way. I can understand your reactions. But she pulled away a lot. Was in communication with and ex, with the tone of reconciliation. Then told you some pretty hateful things, whether true or not, it doesn't really matter. Sorry buddy, but o see no way that you could work it out. She seems done. Even with giving it time, it sounds like that was her way of softening the blow to you. I would imagine she has no intention of getting back with you. Life is too short to try to convince someone to see your value, it is also vert futile.
  7. You and me both buddy. That is a crappy situation OP. Nothing you can do now but learn from it. You are heavily fantasizing about something that wasn't a given. Take her off the pedestal and you will have a easier time getting over here.
  8. He didn't come on to you with the plan to create a meaningful and loving relationship. He come on to you for sex. Assuming that ANY sexual advances are coinciding with the intention of a relationship will leave you wrong a lot more than right. Never assume someone's intentions.
  9. It doesn't matter if you are an addict or not, actions speak louder than words. Words without any actions are meaningless. Don't get delusional thinking about his words and their potential. Without concrete actions they are just a fantasy you are buying into.
  10. People rarely give a real answer as to why they are breaking up. In the end, he didn't think you two were compatible, and that is all that really matters. But that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either of you. It just means you two are different. He probably cut all contact because he thought it was best for him to get over you that way. It isn't a mark against you, he just needs that space to move on. To sit in the sun and cry. It sounds weird but it helps me when I feel hopeless or depressed. Get out and walk some. Try to be active. Exhaust yourself with a physical activity, it will help your appetite.
  11. I seems pretty obvious all he is interested in is sex, you will get his attention because you are convenient. Not because he has feelings or wants something more.
  12. That kind of victimizing attitude would be very draining on me. She wants to get married to you, yet refuses to empathize or compromise with her prospective husband? Sounds like a bad attitude going into marriage. Marriage cannot work with such limited empathy/understanding. She sounds like she tries to redirect your very legitimate concerns by making you feel bad about making her upset. She sounds manipulative and passive aggressive. And now, even if you did give her want she wants and get married, she will now know that she has an effective tool to get what she wants. You won't see the last of her trying to victimize herself to get you to concede a point.
  13. If she is guilting you into to marriage you need to RUN. You are 21, and have only dated 1.5 years. You are not ready. She is ignoring your very rational concerns, being pretty irrational herself. I see no way to comprise, especially since you stated she actually said she won't. This is coming from a guy who married his high school girlfriend at a young age and is very happily married still. I'm totally supportive of young marriage with the right circumstances. ... This is nothing close to the right circumstances. PS. You are not giving up everything in your relationship and everything it was. It will always be a part of you and will shape your attitude towards all your relationships, your first really LTR. Like a benchmark all others are compared to. But that doesn't obligate you to get married anymore than it obligates a woman to have sex if a man paid for dinner. Totally inconsequential.
  14. People, in my opinion, end relationships 99% of the time because of THEIR issues, not that of their SO. I would really strive for NC and not text him. You will only be hurting yourself if you do.
  • Create New...