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DanZee

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DanZee last won the day on November 4 2018

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About DanZee

  • Birthday 05/30/1956

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  1. Well, I still get some zingers from my mom too, and they hurt. My mom has always been super critical and it's rubbed off on me (although I hold my tongue when it's about critiquing people. I'll stick to TV shows, movies and politics). I've learned to ignore them but it sounds like they're eating you up. You should try to ignore the insults, or laugh them off, or say, "I know, ma, I know." But if you can't, all you can do is hang on and get out as quickly as possible.
  2. These are all the typical things that are said when breaking up with someone. Nobody likes to say, "it's over." Instead a lot of people try to soften the blow, saying things like, "It's me and not you." "I need time to think." "Maybe we can work things out in the future." "We can still be friends." "We'll talk about it later." I think you have to face the fact that he's broken up with you and you should go No Contact and begin to move on. Don't keep having a bunch of heartbreaking reunions every few weeks or months. They only keep the both of you from healing. Just accept the fact things are over and don't wait for a reconciliation.
  3. Yeah, I agree with Jellybean. I would also emphasize that since she just broke up yesterday, you have to give her time to heal. If you push her, you could wind up in a 3-4 month "rebound" relationship where she just uses the relationship to get her self-confidence back and then moves on leaving you behind in the dust. And definitely, you can't be the same boyfriend you were before with cheating and taking her for granted. The minute she senses any trust issues or problems, she's going to be gone. Also, she may only be looking for a friend right now, so you might want to hold your horses and not make any moves on her for some time. Just let her be a shoulder to cry on. Be there for her and not because you want to start things up again. But if you want a chance with her, you've got to show her you're a better man than you were in high school.
  4. Well, your boyfriend is being grumpy and selfish. If he was a good boyfriend, he would support your decision. Four hours is just about the time of a train ride between Boston and New York, so I know how long it is, and you could easily work out a schedule of visiting each other alternating weeks. Plus, I wouldn't mind being in New York for the weekend. And if he wanted to, I'm sure he could get a job in the city and join you. You might want to give this relationship a cold, hard look to see if this guy is the right guy for you.
  5. Yeah, I agree with Holly and everyone else. Don't get defensive with clients. Move from denial (my guys couldn't have done this) to acceptance (I'm sorry and it won't happen again. Remember, that you are servers and you're there to serve. Personally, I would tell you that if she does contact you for a future party, you might want to pass on the job. I don't think she will be happy even with your best service.
  6. Well, I think your counselor brings up divorce because there is something seriously wrong with your wife. This is not the way normal people act. She is certainly emotionally abusive from what you describe. But forgetting what she was doing, being transported to another dimension. It sounds like she's having breaks with reality. You're talking about trying to fix your relationship, trying to communicate with her, but if she is suffering from a mental illness, this is not something that you can fix. And wanting to have kids with someone who can't even do the dishes is cruel and abusive. I think you're in denial about the situation at home. You need to get her evaluated by a doctor. She may have ADHD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder ... something! Either that or you're making all of this up. It's all in your head. As for the other things you talked about, you've got to step up. If you don't want the dishes left in the strainer, then put them away yourself. If you want your shirt tailored, bring it to the tailor yourself. Why are you asking someone who can't function well to do these tasks that you yourself are capable of doing? You need to be a man and step up. And you need to get help for your wife. Something has obviously happened to her, and you've got to realize it. I hope you get either her or yourself help.
  7. Gee, I wouldn't be worried about embarrassing him. If he's unemployed, he's been lying to you. And can you really trust anything he tells you? Plus if he doesn't have a job, then his education visa is probably up and he's in the country illegally. I would just caution you that you don't know him very well and he might be lying to you. You might want to have a heart-to-heart talk with him and find out what his real situation is. And also don't give him any money.
  8. Well, guys often insult each other as a kind of p*ssing contest, especially when first seeing each other. What did they say? Something like, hey, do you think you're a lumberjack or something with that shirt? Or did you get that shirt from Goodwill or something? Is this the first time you've encountered this? I don't think they're actually insulting you. It's more like being funny and welcoming you into their circle. And you say you feel great after meeting with them. I'm pretty sure it's harmless humor and you shouldn't be offended.
  9. Well, you left out a very important piece of data in your story -- what are the "specific circumstances" for you not being able to have a relationship? Do you still need more time from your past relationship to heal? Are you afraid of opening your heart again? Go out on a date with her. She wants to open her heart to you. That's a rare thing. What's wrong with her that you don't want to date her? She'll take your mind off your ex.
  10. You're three months into a relationship and you're worried about whether it's going to be a long-term relationship? What's the matter with you? You're getting way too ahead of yourself. Just enjoy the relationship. Stop talking about long-term plans and viewpoints on relationships and so on! You're ruining things. Look, she's about 25 and you're probably around the same age. You're still too young to get married. And she's already been married and she's still burnt by the experience. Just go with the flow, Joe! Have as much fun as you can! Travel! Go out to eat! Have as much sex as possible! Experience life! Stop being a Debbie Downer! You're still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Try to make it last as long as you can. When you make it to your one-year anniversary, then re-evaluate the relationship. See what's happened. By that time, you both may have fallen in love with each other and you may want to get engaged. Or the fun might have stopped. Or the relationship has achieved a nice balance. But stop overthinking about it. You will remember this relationship for the rest of your life. Make some great memories! So stop talking and keep having fun! See how it goes!
  11. Girls hate breaking up with people. That's why your ex seems wobbly on the issue. But you should really let the dust settle and leave her alone for a while. She needs to think and you need to cool down.
  12. You can't trust this guy. Is this the way you want to be treated? Every time he's out of your sight, he's cheating on you. Stop taking him back and kick him to the curb.
  13. This happens all the time. You were a rebound between relationships. Sorry. And then he has to ask the next girl to marry him to hang onto her. You shouldn't even worry about him. He's a jerk, especially to abandon you after you lost your mother. This is not someone you can depend on. Maybe he wasn't getting enough sex and he decided to move on.
  14. Come on, girls. He was hoping for sex. He realized he wasn't going to get it unless it turned into a relationship, and he didn't want that. It is Tinder after all. Suddenly he's busy for the next three weeks. Yeah, right. If you're looking for a relationship, this guy isn't it!
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