Finch

First of all, I hope she is not serious about the whole pregnancy thing. She's been down playing it ever since, but I don't know if she just is doing that to avoid getting tested. I don't know.. anyway, I am doubtful that she is pregnant. I'm almost certain that the birth control pills have screwed up her hormones and cycle since she just began to take birth control. Secondly, I am pretty sure she doesn't love me anymore. Ever since somebody called her boyfriend up she thinks that it was me and she told me off pretty good. I don't know, I am still considering telling the boyfriend. More for my selfish reasons than for him.. however; I'm am sure he'd like to know what is going on. I just don't know if he'd believe me if I told him. I'm sure that my ex is aware of the fact that I can call him and probably told him something to protect herself. So right now we have zero contact, but this is just day one. I seriously don't want anything to do with this girl unless she seriously makes a 180 in personality and becomes a sane person. Until then, I don't expect that I'll be hearing from her anytime soon. Hopefully the whole pregnancy thing will blow through and everything will be fine. In the meantime I guess I just have to move on again. Any other replies are welcome! Thanks

I agree with fallslikerain, he is right about the relationship status. Any break up is very difficult, much like yours is. It's going to be hard to move and you'll often feel alone and like nobody cares. I feel that way sort of myself, but this isn't the first time I've gone through this. Eventually, though, you will realize that you're so much better off then being trapped with a person who is so quick to leave you. I hope things work out for you. Remember, just because she started a relationship so quickly doesn't mean she doesn't care. So don't worry about that. Just focus on getting her out of your mind and meeting some new great women who you will get alone with even better.

You should go get this checked out, especially if it becomes persistent. I had some similar symptoms and I went to the doctor and before I mentioned anything she found that I had a torn retina. I'm so lucky that she found it because I could have seriously gone blind in that one eye. A simple procedure corrected it and I'm fine now.

Alright, well I'm still dealing with my ex who is seriously crazy. I posted some information about this earlier. The post is located here: link removed if you want to read it. Basically my ex has become a really shady person, even crazy probably. She's been flaky to me, requesting that we hang out and begs me to love her and then blows me off. She has my house TPed and egged because she "angry with me for hooking up with other girls." Later on she confessed to me that she was worried that she might be pregnant and progressed to tease me by telling me that we were going to get married. This girl is seriously insane.. Anyway, I've been trying to remain distant from her. I wanted to keep a level of contact with her since she mentioned that she thought she could be pregnant. I didn't want to have any bad blood between us when we have an issue going on like that so I remained friendly to her. So we was supposed to have her period on Saturday night, and never got it. So I have been urging her to take a pregnancy test ever since then. She ditches school today and promises me that she's going to call and get this taken care of. She never calls and makes plans with her boyfriend to go to lunch! I was very upset and told her that this is MUCH more important than eating lunch with your boyfriend. You can eat lunch with your boyfriend any day of the year. She then plays down the whole pregnancy thing.. saying that she doesn't think she is and that I'm overreacting about the whole situation. Anyway.. things blew up from there. She hangs out with the boyfriend and somebody calls him and for some reason she thinks it's me. So she flips out because she thinks that I'm going to tell the boyfriend that she's cheating on him. So she cusses me out, tells me she's never going to talk to me again, etc. Now I'm just sitting here totally destroyed. She's not worth being so distraught, but at the same time I can't help it. I know that we're over for good and I'm never speaking to her again - but it's hard to let go. I'm seriously considering telling the boyfriend that she's been cheating on him just because he doesn't deserve to go through all the pain that I have gone through. Then there's the possibility that she might be pregnant. I don't think she is.. she missed her period but she just started taking birth control and her hormones are all messed up. I wasn't surprised when she missed it... Ugh man. I have never been so distraught in my life. Today I just seriously wanted it to end.

You definitely need to discontinue contact with your ex, because things will not work out with him in the picture in any shape or form. I tried doing exactly what you did. It was in the middle of the summer and I just broke up with my girlfriend in March. Her and I had remained pretty good friends even though we broke up and still continued to even hook up occasionally. Anyway, one night I was hanging out with this new girl that I had met. She was pretty cool and a lot of fun to hang out with. I went to a party with her one night and we ended up hooking up and for some reason my ex found out about it. She flipped out and ruined anything that would have been possible between this girl and I. Now months later I haven't been able to find anybody else who I like and I'm stuck with my ex, who I both love and hate.

I know a lot of people, including myself sometimes, don't like to call the person that they're interested in because they don't want to come off as desperate. I wouldn't worry about it, it's not a big issue. If it bothers you enough then you should probably just let her know and I'm sure that she'd be comfortable calling you.

Than you're set man! Just tell her about it and I'm 99% sure she'd understand. I mean she shaves too.. and with that kind of profession.. I understand your embarrassment over body hair. I have some hairy legs and I'm a little reluctant to wear shorts, but I do it anyway. I don't care.. I'm a man; I'm supposed to be hairy.

Firstly, I think that you should have a serious discussion with your parents or guardians that you suffer from depression. I think you do because wanting to die because you have a hairy body is not normal. Secondly, the hair body situation can be taken care of so easily I don't understand why you let it bother you. Just go get waxed man.. it's that simple. I'm sure your parents or whoever would allow you to do it and perhaps even pay for it. Thirdly, you were worried about your weight but it sounds to me that you're just built. You should be happy. Just go to the gym and work out the areas of your body that you consider to be fatty. For example: if you have a fat stomach then work your abs. I think with the proper care for your depression and a little bit of improvement to your body you will feel on top of the world. You will seriously slap yourself for ever considering killing yourself. BTW, you should talk to your friend and tell him what's up with you. He'll understand and appreciate that you can confide in him.

I wouldn't think that it'd be a problem unless it somehow leaked to the bottom of the condom (not the tip) and leaked out that way. BTW, sperm can last around 30 minutes outside of any favorable conditions. Not 30 seconds.

Well we aren't going out and I am eliminating contact from her very soon. I am going to have her tested on Thursday to see if she's pregnant or not, which I doubt she is. I'm having her tested on Thursday because that'll be a week since we have had sex. I don't think she's really that desperate to have sex with somebody else to get pregnant because she knows that I would request that she have an abortion. She's always been into abortions as well. I just don't know.. her little "joke" yesterday has me worried. The birth control she takes states that she needs to take it around several hours of the time that she always takes it. However, she was late on the day that we had sex taking her birth control. How late? I'm not sure.. but hopefully the chances are still minimal. Thanks!

Well to tone your body you're going to want to do more reps on a weight you can handle. That's how I had my body toned before I stopped working out.

Now she's really freaking me out. I was talking to her online and telling her how I felt about the whole thing. It went alright. She didn't appear to listen too much and was a little hostile to whatever I said. She basically was just telling me that she needed me really badly, was sorry, and that she would change. Other than that she really didn't do anything else to apologize for anything she's done and I didn't really appreciate her being hostile towards me when I am the person who was wronged. This is the real crazy part though.. I said I have always been there for her when she needs me to talk about something and I told her I would continue to be. However, I told her that she shouldn't expect us to be close anymore. Well after this she starts acting all mean and says well I need to tell you about something.. so she confesses to me that she thinks that she might be pregnant since we had unprotected sex about 5 days ago. She just started birth control more than 2 weeks ago, however, she is worried because the day that we had unprotected sex she didn't take her pill at her normal time. She didn't miss her pill, but was just late. So she's worried that she's pregnant due to the fact that her breasts are real tender. I don't know what to think of this. First of all I have done a lot of research about the birth control she's on, TriNessa, and on their website it explains that breast tenderness is a side effect and she had tender breasts before we had sex. She also missed one of her pills yesterday, according to her, but I also researched that and it stated that if you miss a pill you shouldn't have unprotected sex 7 days AFTER you miss your pill. So I guess I'm ok, right? Right after this she mentions that her and I are going to get married. I was like, what? Married.. we're not getting married. What makes you think that? And she just wouldn't drop it. So I called her up and I asked her what she was talking about and she just said that she wanted to freak me out. So that makes me think that the whole pregnancy thing is a joke to her too.. god. In a way I'm glad this is happening because I just see how crazy this girl is. But at the same time I'm worried that she might even go far enough to get herself pregnant and say it's mine or something. Who knows! I'm really freaking out now. I think she's probably just trying to mess with me, but this girl is crazy. Who knows if she's serious or not. Well one thing that has helped me see the light is I don't want anything to do with a person who is going to be crazy like this. At this point I don't want anything to do with her and I have no regrets. I just hope she isn't pregnant. She isn't, right?

Yeah, I filed a police report. I don't think that they'll be coming back anytime soon though. I could find out who actually did it with a little bit more questioning. I just can't believe that she'd have them do something so stupid. This girl is messed up. I mean she does have her good side, she just rarely shows that right now. I just can't believe that she treats me like this when she's supposed to be the person I love. She knows I can get other girls very easy and yet she still does this. She's always telling me that I make her want to be a better person, so that maybe one day I will want to go out with her again. I'm going to be very upset if she turns this around on me at school. Like if she says something about me grabbing her so she'd talk to me. She always does stuff like that.

I am so angry right now, I have seriously never been this angry in my life. My ex-girlfriend is seriously crazy. I just don't understand that girl and I'm so angry at her. Well this girl I am talking about is my ex-girlfriend. We went out for about a year and broke up in march. Her and I are still really close, or were, and continued to basically keep a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship going on without the commitment to one person. In other words we still said we loved each other, hung out a lot, hooked up and had sex, etc. We were very close and I loved her very much. This girl has always had her issues, just like anyone else. The things that prevented us from going out were basically her honesty and her inability to keep promises. She frequently lies and she even cheated on me once. I should have left her then and there, I mean this girl isn't even that attractive.. but there is something that keeps me attached to her that I can't let go of despite all the crazy stuff that I have to put up with from her. I just can't let go.. I always end up forgiving her for whatever she does. Lately she's been VERY flaky. I wrote a post about it early.. If you want to read it, it is right here: link removed . Anyway.. so basically she has been acting very similar to how she was when we went out.. right before I broke up with her. Last night I was talking to her on the phone and she calls me up very late, around 12:30am and I ask her where she was. She just says that she was hanging out with her friend Kara and I said I know you're lying. I told her that she can tell me honestly what she was doing and I won't get upset.. so she tells me that she was doing something else. What a surprise.. she lied again. I then told her: I knew you were lying.. just tell me that you're a liar. So she says she's that she is a liar. I then said "... and that is why I don't love you so much anymore." I then hung up. She calls me back and is all hurt because she thinks I don't love her anymore and whatnot. We don't talk it out on the phone because she starts crying and doesn't call me back. Today I saw her at school and we talked things out and we were going to talk more about it after school until I learned about her ultimate betrayal. The thing itself wasn't that bad.. it's just everything that she's done added up to this point. My house was egged and tped on Saturday night. I went to school today and in all of my classes people were telling me that my ex was linked to it and that she had a bunch of people egg my house. So I confronted her after my math class and asked her what it was all about. She played dumb at first and then eventually told me that she had told people to do it. She said it was just a joke and she didn't think that they would do it. I mean these people don't even know me.. she had to give them my address. So I was VERY upset. I grabbed her arms and squeezed them very tight and asked her why she did it. She just looks at me stupidly and doesn't say a word. At this point I'm getting very upset. I was so angry.. if she was a guy I would have hit her at this point. I never will hit a girl and I shouldn't have grabbed her and squeezed her hard but I'm glad I didn't hit her. I never would. She sits down and we both calm down a little bit and she tells me that she had them do it because I hurt her feelings when I hook up with other girls.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! She has a BOYFRIEND and I don't get upset about that. Don't be so hypocritical. I was so upset. Not because my house was egged but just because this girl who is always telling me that she loves me, wants to be with me, etc has my house egged. I couldn't believe it, why would you do that kind of stuff. It wasn't just that too.. it's everything. How two-faced can you be? I told her about it the next day and she was all "Oh my god, who would do that? That's so messed up." This girl honestly lies to me all the time. I can't even count how many times she lies to me in a day. She blows me off when I want to see her and does all this stuff... And I love her so much and it's so hard to let go but I think this time that it is it. I am so nice to her. She's not the most popular girl at school because she's always starting fights with people. Several times people have wanted to jump her but I asked that they didn't. You're probably thinking that this girl just doesn't love me and is playing me.. but that isn't the case. This girl seriously was nearly a stalker after we broke up. She wouldn't leave me a lone and followed me around. She constantly called, etc. So I'm pretty sure that isn't the case. However, I can't forgive her for all of this? Can I? After all the chances I have given her.. after all the warnings I have given her telling her that she needs to straighten up or I'm gonna have to leave her. I just don't get it.. What do I do? I don't want to lose this girl, but I can't tolerate her anymore if she can't act her age and prove to me that she does love me.

Hi muneca, That's a good point about maybe how she doesn't want to invest more feelings into something that isn't a relationship. However, her and I have always had a minimal relationship status. I'd devote time to her if she'd devote time to me, etc. Unwritten agreements. We still admit that we care for each other greatly and that we're more than friends. So that is why I find this situation troubling

I don't know if I'm posting in the correct section, but I guess this will do. The thing is that this girl that I'm "with" isn't my girlfriend and we aren't dating. We're ex's and we have remained close throughout the entire breakup process and after that. Her and I are pretty close considering that we are still very intimate (we still have sex), we talk on the phone all the time, still say I love you, etc. We act very similar to most couples with the exception that we tend to keep our close ties on the down low. The thing that is troubling me lately is that she is just a huge flake. We were supposed to hang out the other day on tuesday and the plan was that we were to meet up around 3pm and hang out for awhile and then go home. Well I didn't end up hearing from her till around 8:30pm and she tells me that her phone died and she couldn't call me. She finally ended up admitting to me that she blew me off to go shop with her friend. I was so angry. How inconsiderate. This wasn't the first time that she blew me off either.. which really upset me. I then had a very long discussion with her about how she needs to quit treating me poorly and if she doesn't then I'm going to walk. She then progressed to tell me that she loves me so much, began to cry and confessed that she needly me badly. The real kicker is that she has a boyfriend, who I know she doesn't care too much for given that she's still obsessed with me. She was confessing to me that she didn't like her boyfriend at all and wanted to get back together with me. I quickly dismissed the idea which has come up before in previous discussions. After all, I have no interests in getting back together with somebody who can't even commit to hanging out and there are tons of more reasons which I won't get into. So yesterday we're supposed to hang out and she ends up blowing me off after the huge discussion the previous night about how I wouldn't talk to her anymore if she blew me off ever again. Get this.. she blows me off to go get a nasty tattoo of some palm tree on her waist line. She confessed that she blew me off today to get a tattoo while we were having sex! lol.. I just don't get her. She's acting very strange lately. Before she was totally obsessive and clingy, now she's being distant but clingy at the same time. I don't think she's trying to get rid of me or anything like that, because she knows that we aren't a couple or anything. I don't know what to do. At this point I'm encouraged to end the sex, keep friendship status with her on a limited basis, and move on. I can't invest my feelings in such a flake. What's going on in her head?

Yeah, I just can't really depend on her to do that. She isn't a dependable person, which is why I was the one doing research. I read online at a reliable website that birth control, when started correctly, begins within 48hrs - 1 week. I still think that maybe the morning after pill or something else would be necessary to ease both our minds. I might try calling Planned Parenthood and speak to somebody there about the issue. Do you think that'd be acceptable?

I've read that sperm can only last for about 30 minutes outside of any suitable conditions.

It's normal for the ex to suddenly appear out of no where, I wouldn't think too much about it. I also wouldn't invest any feelings into her and consider her as a friend until she makes a move to prove otherwise. My ex does the same thing. I know she still has feelings for me even though she's with this other guy. She's even told me straight up that she'd leave this other guy if I wanted to go out with her again. I don't think it's a good idea to do that so her and I just hook up from time to time. It's hard for me to not have my feelings involved with her and to care for her more than a friend, but you can't allow yourself to do that, especially if you're not interested in a relationship with the person for whatever reason.

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it at all. Erections are a normal part of every guys life. I can vouch for the fact that I get them pretty easily. Just thinking about sex can get me up in seconds and other times it takes awhile. If you're worrying about being embarrassed about your erections, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. When I dance and grind with girls on the dance floor I normally have an enormous erection even though I'm not really even thinking about anything regarding sex. I'm sure the girls notice but I don't really care.. it's normal.

This girl that I'm with just got on birth control this month, thank goodness, and she was prescribed Ortho tricyclen trinessa. It's supposed to be a generic of the birth control Ortho Tricylen. We were having sex today and the condom that was on me totally busted. I'm not sure how this happened or why, but it was totally destroyed. It basically offered zero protection since the condom was split open and wouldn't have protected me against anything. I noticed that the condom had busted and I pulled out and didn't cum in her. However, I know that there is always the possibility of pre-cum. Now this girl has been on Trinessa for about close to two weeks and has been taking the pills regularly. I'm curious about what actions I should take to fix this situation as best as I can. I understand that birth control is very similar to the morning after pill. I've heard that birth control is a lower dosage than the morning after pill. I asked my girl if she thought that we should get the morning after pill anyway but she told me that her doctor had recommend that she avoid the morning after pill since all the hormones would be crazy for her. Please note that the doctor told her this when she got the birth control. What do you recommend that I do and what do you think the chances are of her getting pregnant? Are they slim since she is on birth control or do you think that we might have a problem?

I'm sure many guys go through this situation so don't feel alone. You're just going to have to make more of an effort to make something of yourself at this time. You're going to have to be bold, daring, and creative if you want to get women but your current attitude isn't going to get you anybody. Why? You lack so much confidence that you would probably only get a sympathy date and that is it. Don't feel bad.. I've been like that too in the past. Then I read link removed . That simply just helped me understand more aspects of the form of attraction. I'm sure there is much that you'll disagree with on there but there is much that you can absorb and learn from on there as well. I hope I was somewhat helpful. If you have any other questions I could give you better links to some stuff that changed my way of life.

I know of a few girls who simply won't do it due to the fact that is is "weird". Well it isn't weird. It's a natural thing that you can do to yourself. Much like rubbing your leg when it's sore or getting a back massage. You don't think that's weird do you? It's just touching of an area of a body that feels good. I wouldn't worry so much about the thought of it, but simply just enjoy the process that you can make yourself feel good. There's nothing wrong with someone masturbating.

It is most definitely not worth the risk. Remember, it just takes one sperm to impregnate an egg. While I admit to having sex without a condom and using the pull out method, I wouldn't recommend it. I'm guessing that sometimes pre-cum is going to be more potent with sperm than other times, but how are you supposed to know when you have more cum in your pre-cum or less? I don't think it would be a consistent amount. It's just not worth worrying about. I'm sure you could probably do this if the girl was on birth control, but I would wear a rubber always.

My ex-girlfriend was very similar. She wanted sex all the time, didn't want to give me a blow job, didn't want me going down on her, and just kind of lies there when you are having sex. It was pretty obvious to me that my ex-girlfriend was uncomfortable with herself during sex. Even though she wants it all the time doesn't mean that she's comfortable during the process. The same situation might be for your girlfriend. My ex didn't want to give me head because she thought that other girls had done it a lot better and I wouldn't like it. It was entirely a confidence issue. She just won't do it. Sex isn't that great either. She just kind of sits there and lets me pound it in without little movement from her. I don't let it bother me that much though since I have just accepted that she isn't going to be a freak in the sheets compared to other women. She's just doing what she's comfortable with. When I tried to get her to get more into it she became uneasy and unsure of herself. I don't think she'll ever get passed that point until she experiences sex with more men. It took a lot of encouragement to get her to go on top and that wasn't really worth it since I end up having to thrust from the bottom and finish us off. My suggestion to you would be to make your girlfriend more comfortable with herself and with sex in general. Language can be very comforting when your body language is on the same level. For example: I don't think she's going to get very turned on and relaxed when you joke with her about how it just doesn't get up on your own. Don't feel bad, I did that too, but the fact of the matter is that it is just making her more uncomfortable. Try having sex with her in comfortable surroundings, get a little music going, add a little romance of some flower peddles or something, and get some candles. I'm sure she'll loosen up soon. If she doesn't then it would be time to have a serious conversation with her to find out what's up.