Finch

I think it also may be affected by how often you jack off. Of course if you jacked off several times in one day, you aren't going to have very much cum which may make it just drizzle down.. however if you haven't done it in a long time it will most likely shoot out. I think it's a combination of maturity and what I described above.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Chances are it wasn't your fault that caused him to get off so late, seeing as how you can always get him to get off pretty early on. I also wouldn't worry, it sounds like you are good at it. My ex-girflriend could give me head for an hour and I probably wouldn't get off. She was awful at it. In fact, I don't think I ever got off while recieving head from her. I also never got off to her giving me a handjob either.

I suppose you guys are right about the cutting off contact. I did that earlier today when I found out she had been crap talking about me to various friends for a very long time since we broke up. As I went to sign her yearbook I found several "F HIM, HE'S A FAG" type things. She can be very manipulative, so I knew that she had been conceiving stories behind my back and disregarded my own wishes for issues between her and I to remain our issues. After that I simply handed back her yearbook and asked that we stop talking. Last night I thought very hard about this whole thing, and while I don't want her to go on a date with somebody else, I am accepting of the fact that it is going to happen. In fact, I believe it is a good thing. However, for the moment we have stopped talking and I'm not sure what direction that will take us. She pleaded that I change my mind, and while tempted, I know that it won't accomplish anything. I believe after a long introspective night that I finally realized that I have to let go and allow her to see other people as the final step of moving on. I think I am capable of this. While it will be disheartening for me, especially if I remain alone, I know that it has to happen. What do I do now?

I know it may have come off that way, and I'm not trying to be defensive because I'm upset.. but I have in no way become manipulative or possessive. I haven't prevented her from progressing from the breakup or prevented her from doing anything. She is able to do exactly whatever she wants, but I hear about it, and I asking for help to get over these last feelings that I have toward her. There is a whole different aspect of why we broke up, which I won't get into, that has led to these strong feelings and the breakup itself. I was treated poorly by her and this is why I am so dumbfounded as to why I have these feelings of jealously when she mentions that she is going to go on a date with another guy. It is a bit distressing and disturbing to see that you thought I was arrogant, manipulative, possessive, and down-right immature based on my post. However, hopefully you'll be enlightened by just knowing that the bad relationship, resulting from her discretions, inflicted these feelings on me. I'm not saying it was totally her fault, but I am saying it is one of the main reasons why we ended things.. anyway, I don't want to get into that. You should keep in mind that I have so much respect, care, and love for my ex-girlfriend. At the same time, she is the best person I have ever met and the worst. In the post I was being totally honest about how I felt. I am just sharing my raw emotions without tact, and I'm sorry that you thought that I came off as a prick it seems. Of course I'm not going to go as far as to keep her from moving on, but secretly (at the moment at least) I am hopeful that she won't. Those feelings are mutual between us. I want the best for her, but sometimes it's hard to provide that or think that when you are trying to get through any breakup which you shared strong emotional feelings toward somebody.

Hello, I broke up with my first kiss, first love, first sexual encounter, first everything a little over a month ago. It was exactly what I wanted, because firstly, I wasn't attracted to her at all anymore. I wasn't attracted to her physically and I wasn't attracted to her mentally. She was becoming a burden in my life, and I hated her for it and I hated myself for letting things continue this way. Now I am so confused, and distraught, and alone and I don't know what to do. I'm sure you read to that point and stopped, and you are ready to dismiss this as another dumb breakup drama. I mean, that is what I would do if I was in your situation. I hate drama. My Ex-Girlfriend and I have this odd relationship. We are VERY good friends, and our relationship is basically very similar as to the one when we were going out. We are still affectionate (we still have sex sometimes, hook up, hug, etc), we still talk all the time (we talk every night, sometimes for a few hours), we still fight (we fight about dumb things that I wanted to get away from in our old relationship), and we still are jealous of each other. I like having her as a friend, and having this close relationship minus some of the things that we shouldn't be doing since we broke up, but it's just becoming too stressful. People at school are coming up to me and ask me, did you two get back together? NO! I don't want to get back together with her, and I no longer want to be associated to her. I am free, single, and my own person. I hate when people do that! Her friends think that I am leading her on because we still talk very often and share this close bond between us. She tells them that I am not leading her on, and everything like that, but I have this horrible feeling that I am going to gain this bad reputation around school as a jerk because some people are ignorant enough to think that they know us well enough to know what is going on. I am also totally frustrated by my ex-girlfriend going to her friends every time we have a small fight. I have told her countless times that issues between her and I are exactly our issues, and nobody else's. However, she runs to her friends every single time we have a dispute and the entire school knows about the issue at the end of the day. That is stressful because not only is everybody getting involved in our issues, but I also have to explain the situation so I don't seem like a bad guy or jerk. I don't want that reputation because I am not! The reason why I am confused is because I still have feelings for my girlfriend. I mean, I'm sure some of you are saying that I always will etc etc etc, but let me explain it a little more. I have no problem going out and meeting new girls and hooking up with them and interacting, but my heart sinks when I hear that my ex-girlfriend is going to go out that night because I am so fearful that she is going to go out and meet somebody better than me, somebody that will replace me and make her happier than I ever made her. I hate hearing about it each night, because I talk to her at night and I have to hear about it. She has had to go through me hooking up with like 3 girls when she hasn't even hooked up with one person yet, but still I just hate the fact that she is out there meeting new people. Why!! I don't know why I have this feeling, because I never want to get back together with her, ever.. She is going out Saturday night on a date with some guy that her friends matched her up with. I'm not too sure if that is going to work out, but I couldn't even handle hearing about it on the phone. I had to hang up and go do something else. Why am I acting like this? I know that it's over, and I don't ever want to be with her again, and I wouldn't mind cutting out contact with her, but regardless of all of that, I still don't want her to see anybody! That is so stupid! I am so worried that I am going to end up alone and she is going to meet some other guy and be truly happy. I should be happy for her if she ever gains that, but I am so against it. I think one reason that I am truly perturbed is because she is going on a serious date with somebody on Saturday when all I have done is sought out meaningless hookups that meant nothing and have accomplished nothing. I know exactly what I need to go out and do to make me feel better, but I just don't feel like I am capable of doing that at the moment. I know I need to go out, meet some girl, and I'm bound to begin to like one of them and start a small relationship.. but I am just not capable of doing that at the moment. I don't have any inspiration to do that, and I don't have the confidence at the moment to do that either. My ex-girlfriend is lucky that she has friends to match her up with somebody, because she would have never done this on her own. She isn't the most attractive girl, and not to be conceded or anything, but most everybody at school was at loss for why I went out with her because I am more attractive... I am being selfish and immature, and I hate being like this because I can't rationalize why I am acting this way. Can somebody help me through this? I am really getting depressed about this whole situation and it's soo stupid.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel so down. Marrage problems can be a very diffcult and confusing time for anybody, so, to be honest, I'm not surprised you are having this moment of self-reflection. Self-reflection can be a good thing, and a bad thing. It just depends how you use it. For example, if you just sat on the couch and felt sorry for yourself because you remember all the bad things that are going on in your life, well that wouldn't be really productive. But to me it sounds like you're ready to fix things in your life. Studying Buddism was definintely a good step for you. It shows that you are pro-active and ready to change and better your life. Dedicating yourself to something positive is a good thing, especially for somebody in your position. Why is that you feel like you could be doing something better? Why don't you do something "better"? Hope you find out what you need!

Well I wouldn't recommend that you fake it. That's pretty harsh. It's fairly normal for a girl to have trouble getting off, so it's not like it would hurt his feelings or something. It would even be a quest for him to get you off.. But since you have.. I would stop faking it and act like you don't know why you can't get off anymore. Then instruct him to do what feels good, or when he's in a certain position say "oh that's the spot" or something like that. You just have to train him. It's not big deal.

I haven't read through all of the replies, but I just wanted to add my input. I would guess that this guy is insecure that he won't be able to preform very well in this aspect of your sexual relationship. You just have to respect that when people aren't ready. Sure he hasn't said that, but most guys would be really reluctant to tell their girlfriends that. He also might have an STD maybe? I donno, just a thought, probably not though. I would just talk to him more and make sure you know exactly why he doesn't want to do it. Offer to walk him through it and even make a game out of it. You do something for him.. then he does something for you.. then you do something for him. That'd be pretty hot. Good luck!

I wouldn't feel so bad, you're just going to have to work on it I guess. My ex-girlfriend couldn't even get me to cum. She was the first girl to give me head, and so I don't know if I'm just unable to get off on that or what. She would do it for like 30 minutes too.. I don't know. Since you seem like you know what you like, I would just guide her and tell her what you like instead of just hoping that she'll get the idea. She shouldn't take offense to it. Good luck.

I think it really depends on the girl. I have an 8" too, but my ex loved it. Some positions hurt her, but I could still do just about anything, so I'm guessing it's the girl who you are having sex with which makes a different.

I'm sorry to say, but I don't think masturbating has anything to do with getting big vains in your arms. I think that's just part of your body developing. I have big veins in my arm and I don't masturbate all the time and same with my friends. I think you're overreacting. Calm down, lol.

It's natural to be selfconscious about your body, especially with a new partner. You're not sure what they're going to think because you don't know them well enough and they have never seen that part of your body before. It isn't a big deal though, she obviously thinks highly of you if she is willing to have sex with you. So I wouldn't worry too much about that. As for lasting longer.. well you mentioned that you're mainly interested in satisfying your girlfriend. Well, I think the key element in that is simply foreplay. Yep, that's right, foreplay. When it comes to sex, most guys simply skip foreplay and move right up onto sex. While that is fine, it may leave the female partner feeling unsatisfied simply because it takes longer for women to reach orgasm. It typically takes 15-30 minutes for a women to reach the point where she is stimulated enough for orgasm. Most guys don't last long enough, or barely last long enough, for their partner to reach that point. So I would recommend that you guys do some foreplay for about 15+ minutes and then move onto sex. You can try this out and see how things go. While you are having sex and you want to last longer, I typically slow things down and sometimes altogether stop movement down there and kiss her neck and lips passionately to give my guy a little rest. This keeps her in the mood and stimulated and tends to buy you a little bit more time. I also have learned that you tend to last longer in various positions, so I would recommend that you try out several positions and see which ones you last longer in. Good luck! I hope I helped.

Well you're kind of in a difficult situation. It could be a number of reasons why he hasn't done it yet. One of those reasons may be he just doesn't feel like he will be able to satisfy you and is worried that you won't enjoy it. My girlfriend didn't give me oral sex for almost 5 months, EVEN AFTER WE HAD SEX, because she was worried she wouldn't be able to please me while doing this. The second reason why he may not want to do this is due to the fact that it just isn't a pleasant place for some males. While I'm sure there are many many males that love doing this to their girlfriends, or just girls in general, it can be an uncomfortable place. When I went down on my girlfriend I had several unpleasant experiences each time I did it. It tended to smell way to strong for me, the oder was out of control for my taste. The taste isn't really an issue, though it does seem a little awkward at first moving your tongue around there. Lastly I came up with a mouth of hair. So perhaps your boyfriend may have had a similar experience, heard stories, etc. Lastly, it may simply be that he just doesn't feel ready. He may feel like he is able to do it, but it isn't something that he has really given a lot of thought about and doesn't feel comfortable with the idea yet. The best solution for this would be giving him time to accept that you want him to do this for you, and that he'll most likely end up doing it. You need to talk to him to find out the real reason behind why he isn't doing this, but those are a few reasons why he may not be. Good luck with everything and don't put too much pressure on him if he isn't ready to do it for you yet. Some people just need time.

I think it really depends on a girls sexual activity, or just any activity down there. My ex-girlfriend was VERY VERY VERY sensitive down there. Infact anything below the very top of her clit and she would scream OUCH OUCH OUCH! This was before we had sex.. when we did have sex she cried because it hurt her so much. Then a month or so after that I could have sex with her as long, hard, and fast as I wanted to. Fingers were no longer an issue at all. So if your girlfriend is a virgin, doesn't finger themselves, don't use tampons, etc, then my guess would be that they're just extremely tight and maybe really sensitive, or both.

Well since you're being so confusing to him, he probably doesn't know how to deal with it. He probably thinks that you hate him and don't have any desire to be friends anymore. You could just as easily walk up to him and start talking to him, and he would probably talk back to you and forget that anger he had towards you. He might be allowing you to prepare yourself for when you're ready to move on.

The chances of her getting pregnant from that are pretty slim. There is a possibilty that there was "pre-cum" on you at the time you went "in" and that can contain sperm. You said you fooled around before hand, and sperm can only survive for about 30 minutes outside of the body and up to 7 days inside the body. I wouldn't worry too much if I were you, I think you're probably okay right now but no one knows for sure. Next time, make sure you use a condom all the time, no matter how long you go in.

I think I know you're right, I just don't think I can do that all over. I think she'd get the idea that I don't want to talk to her at all, and that I wasn't being serious about being friends if I said that. She also always says I love you before we get off the phone, and I do love her, but I feel compelled to say I love you back and I do for the most part so it doesn't make her feel any worse. I'm guessing I'll have to become a little bit more distant in a week or so, and show her that things indeed are different. I still would like to talk to her on the phone, but I'm guessing that she might take it wrong if I say I don't want to talk every night.. I don't know, it's just really confusing!

Hey! Thanks for you reply. I forgot to note, she isn't pregnat. She got her period a few weeks ago. I think you're absolutly right about her thinking that she may be able to change my feelings, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to push her away from me because she'll think that whole "let's be friends speech" was a bunch of bs to get her to feel better and not get mad at me. I honestly do want to be friends with her. What would you recommend? I mean she wants me to call her everynight still, and she called me last night at like 4:50 AM crying, and I got her to stop crying.. so she obviously still wants me to comfort her. She still wants to hang out too. Do I need to tell her that she needs to have some space from me? And if so, how do I do that?

Tonight my girlfriend and I of 6 months decided to call it quits. We've been on the rocks for about 2-3 months now and it was no secret to anybody that things weren't going well. So tonight we talked about things, and surprisingly, the night before prom, we broke up. The break up was mutual. She is totally infatuated with me, and I do love her very much, but we both knew things wouldn't last. She didn't cry at all during the whole talk of breaking up, however, she was obviously sad and depressed. I hugged her closely and told her that it was going to be okay and that I do honestly want to be friends, more than friends I said. I know everyone says "i just want to be friends" and then never do, well I honestly do and I think we will be. We talked about it and she said that her and I will still talk on the phone each night, won't hook up with anybody for a month or two, and probably will still hang out occasionally. Sounds more like a break, but whatever it is is a breath of fresh air. I told that I didn't want to lead her on in any way, and if I was, she needed to tell me and I would back off and give her the space she needs. I also told her that it could be possible that we get back together sometime in the future, however, I told her not to expect getting back together anytime soon. Tomorrow we're still going to prom with each other and we're going to talk more about the break up afterwords. I'm just wondering if we're taking the right steps towards a healthy break up and what I can do to better help her through this time since I've already come to terms with the break up about a month ago. Help!

I am about to break up with my girlfriend and I see her everyday at school. I know, without a doubt, that she is going to be heartbroken beyond belief and it's going to be really hard. I highly doubt that your ex-boyfriend is avoiding talking to you because he doesn't want anything to do with you, but I think he's just respecting you by trying to allow you to heal before you guys actually do become friends again. I have no idea, but that's just an assumption of what I would do. And for as who you can turn to.. just turn to your friends and family. They're the closest people to you.

Well, since I'm a girl, I couldn't really tell you. From what I hear though, you'll definitely know when you have an orgasm, there will be no question about it. As for hand jobs, they're fairly simple. Just stroke your boyfriend's "shaft" and go up and down up and down, and be careful not to put too much friction on his "head". Asking him what he likes would be your best chance at giving him a great hand job and he won't think anything of it. I don't when girls ask me.

Well I would call her if she is one of the most important people in your life at the moment then there is no reason to not call her, unless you guys recently broke up and she demanded the no contact rule or something of that sort. As for when you should call.. I don't think it really matters. If you don't get a hold of her at the time that you call, then you can always call back later or even leave a message. I wouldn't go for the text message thing if I were you, since this person is so important to you. Calling is much more personal. Hope I helped.

I think that's pretty good advice. That is what worked for me, and she totally loves it now. She wasn't comfortable with it at first, but as soon as she let me do it she loved it from that moment on. You can ask for premission, but I just feel a little odd saying "May I have your permission to finger you?" lol. Just doesn't seem right, I rather ask it physcially.

I have been going out with my girlfriend for a little more than 6 months now. We got back together sometime in September and before that we had gone out for about 3 months, so we have known each other and been together for a very long time since we are both still in high school. We have both lost our virginity to each other, and she is still infatuated with me and I just don't feel the same about her anymore. I lost the attraction for her that I once had, both in personality and looks. I've been contemplating breaking up with her for about 3 months now but haven't broken up with her because I wanted to try everything possible to fix things before I ended it. Maybe that wasn't a good idea.. but anyway. I don't know how to break up with her. I haven't ever had to break up with anyone who has been infatuate with me before, and I know it's going to break her heart and I don't want to hurt her. I still love her, I'm just not in love with her. I have already spoken to her several times about how my feelings have changed, so she is well aware that I don't feel the same way about her. I made it a point to be totally honest to her about my feelings since the first time we broke up, when she broke up with me, she wasn't honest with me and that just crushed me more than anything. I think she knows that I might be breaking up with her soon. Things have gotten pretty bad between us. Things are more complicated as well. We are going to prom on March 13th, so I'm definitely not going to break up with her before prom. That would just be bad for both of us. Then she also hasn't gotten her period yet. We have already been to Planned Parenthood and they said that her period is probably definitely going to come, but it's going to be late since she took a morning after pill and that messes up your period. I just don't want to break up with her before I know that she isn't pregnant. She got a pregnancy test when she went in to Planned Parenthood and they said that it came back negative but to check back in 2 weeks just to be sure. So she's going to get another test done on this upcoming Tuesday. I think if I do break up with her, I will break up with her after Tuesday. I wouldn't want to break up with her before that just incase she is pregnant, which I highly doubt. So my question is what do you think I should do and how should I go about breaking up with this girl that is totally in love with me? I feel a little like a jerk, just because she is so in love with me and I don't even want to hug her anymore. I also feel like a jerk because I'm thinking about breaking up with her shortly after prom and pretty soon after she gets her second pregnancy test. Should I feel like a jerk?

Some people find it difficult to "get off" to head or handjobs after sex. It isn't because you aren't doing it right, it's just because their body has developed a stamina for sex and the former stimulation from head may or may not be enough to make him get off anymore. I hope that makes sense. I don't know what to tell you about the love thing. You can't make somebody love you more, or less, so you're just going to have to allow him to fall in love with you if that is what you want.