Finch

I'm going through a similar breakup with my ex of about the same amount of time. Let me tell you.. this has been the hardest and most difficult thing for me to ever go through. Half the time I am so confused and depressed about something that I can't even behave rationally. Her and I have been through so many stages of friends, more than friends, no contact, slight contact... it's been a huge mess. Originally we decided that we'd break up and just be friends with benefits. That was about 6 months ago.. A lot has changed since then. She's started dating another guy, who is about 6-7 years older than she is. I don't know why she is with him honestly.. that isn't right considering that she is only 17 years old and he's 24. However, she doesn't have any respect for him but I think she does care about him. She has been cheating on him with me the whole time.. however, it still hurts that she is seriously involved in another relationship while I have nobody. That is a very difficult situation to be in.. especially when the relationship between my ex and I is going through some difficult times. I found out the other day right after I had sex with her that she had sex with this other guy that she's with. It totally devastated me. I've never been that sad in my entire life.. The fact that she told me right after we had sex was awful. The worst part about it though is that she said she only did it to see if she could establish a deep connection with this guy.. And the second worst part about it is that her and I were each other's firsts. It's hard knowing that she's been with another guy like that. I still can't get over it and this was several weeks ago. Right now the relationship that her and I have is pretty good.. we've worked out a lot of things but there are still a lot of problems. I'm falling for her again and that's definitely not what I need right now. The whole purpose of this story was to show you my mistakes and some of the different paths that you can take as far as how your relationship goes. However, just be warned that some paths are going to be almost too difficult to bare.

I've never experienced anything like this but I'm sure that it is something that you're going to have to conquer through confidence that you're not going to be judged and you will preform fine. Just be confident of that fact.. if you do get off early, just go again and chances are you'll last for some time the second time around since you just got off a little while before.

Hello, This girl that I've been with just started taking birth control recently. Lately she has absolutely no sex drive. This is abnormal for her considering that before she used to want to have sex every single day while I was the one that didn't want to do anything.. now things are the other way around. She just has zero sex drive since she got on birth control. Is this normal? What can I do to increase her sex drive? She told me that whenever we fool around she gets horny, but doesn't enjoy it as much because it's a spur of the moment kind of thing. I don't want to seduce her like that if she doesn't want to do anything in the first place. However, at the same time I'm really starting to become sexually frustrated and she knows that.

I couldn't agree more. But I'm talking more about being seductive and flirtty than approaching women. I ask because I don't want to come off too aggressive and I want to know what gets you guys going as far as attraction goes at parties. Lets say for example that there is this girl who I have been talking to for some time. We've been flirty but smiling, talking to each other, etc. Now she starts to sit real close.. I could make a move and kiss her, but what else could I do before and after she sits real close to seduce her even more? Any tips? You girls know what you like..

lol, it was a joke sweetie

haha. I find that women enjoy cleaning. It helps them unwind and gives them less time to think about whatever pops up in that crazy mind of theirs.

It's not too bad if it's during the lighter days. But man.. sometimes it smells pretty bad down there while you're having sex and I lose my focus as far as being horny.

I have a question for you girls. I'm often at parties and I know that the girls are very interested in me but if the girl is timid and afraid to make the first move then I don't know what to do. I'm talking about under circumstances of you've been drinking and this girl obviously wants to hook up with you, but you are afraid of coming off too strong. Usually this happens when I'm just talking to the girl and she's obviously interested. Also, girls what do you like guys to do that grab your attention as far as flirting goes?

Yeah, I think that list is great. I have to say that when a girl is feminine yet very flirty.. well that's a great combination. I love when girls have the confidence to say and do what they're feeling.. that's great especially when you're in a relationship. I love when girls act cute but naughty, either through words or actions.

I have done it on several occasions and both of us were grossed out. I can't remember why we did it again after that.. we must have been really horny. Overall, it's a gross experience but I don't generally think less of the girl. Although it's defiantly not a turn on, ha ha. I would recommend against it.. you can seriously wait a few days. I think the only reason why we did do it was because we were so horny and she wasn't comfortable doing anything else because she's not good at head or hand jobs.

Well obviously if you don't understand the situation about our relationship then you don't understand. So don't say that you do. We have an open relationship because we are both love each other, however, we are free to date/hook up with other people. The boundary line for this was sex, and she crossed it. It was at this point that we both agreed that we would sever any relationship ties. By no means at all am I mad at her for having sex.. she is free to do whatever she wants. However, the fact that she failed to mention it afterwords is what makes me upset. I'm telling you that I got the closure to the relationship that I needed to move on and I never said that I was going to continue the relationship. Don't be confused. Yes I regret sleeping with her because she slept with somebody else. I wouldn't have slept with her had I known. Would you have slept with somebody you loved knowing that they have sexual relationships with other people that they had just created and lured you to have sex with them while you had no clue about what was going on? It hurts, so be a little sympathetic. I don't appreciate the fact that you think this is so funny. It's not for you to decided whether or not it is appropriate for us to pry into each other's personal lives. We both did it, so it's not like one was intruding upon the other. This information was given up freely as well. She could have not chosen to tell me. I realize that the bond is going to end, and it has. Obviously. I don't mind your comments, however, I don't appreciate the fact that you say you understand when you don't. Don't say that you do when you don't, because obviously you don't if you can't interpret my post correctly. Can I get a hallelujah?

The reason why I even ask is because she asks me all the time. So when she asks, naturally I ask as well. We both care about each other, and still share everything. Our relationship was more like an open relationship than anything, so please don't come off hostile. It's not like I'm this little punk kid obsessed over my ex. It's quite the opposite. For awhile there she was the one who stalked me. Maybe you're right.. I shouldn't have asked her. But I wouldn't want to continue any relationship with her knowing that she had sex with somebody. It would only be worse to learn about this later on if I continued our open relationship. In this case the less you know the better.. well it doesn't apply. I am very glad I know. I just wish I had known before I had sex with her for the last time. I wanted closure in our relationship and boy did I get it. This is very difficult and I just can't really accept it at the moment. It really hasn't sunk in. I mean her and I were each other's first loves, first kisses, first everything... it's difficult to have somebody that you've shared so much with become so intimate with somebody else. I don't think you understand at all DragonGirl724.

I'm so hurt, I just can't cope with life at the moment. I never would have imagined I would have felt such pain and betrayal. She's been calling me nonstop and now that I picked up the phone once so she would stop talking to me.. she thinks ever thing is ok. Well, everything is not okay. I'm totally crushed and am in anguish. I feel awful.. and I have to see her tomorrow too. I don't want to see her anymore.

Well, I was hanging out with the ex today. We talked about a lot of things and we worked out a lot of things too. Things were going very well and I had a blast hanging out with her. We went to my house and hung out so more.. one thing led to another and we had sex. After we finished I was lying with her and I asked her if she has had sex with anybody else. I expected her to say no, but I asked anyway.. to my bewilderment she said "well.. it was only for like 5 seconds." WOW That's all I needed.. lol. I don't hold it against her that she had sex. She's free to do whatever she wishes, however; it crushed me that she would have sex with somebody else and fail to admit it to me before.. especially before sex. We were very close and we shared information like this.. so I felt betrayed. Especially because I have asked her several times in the past week (she had sex on Sunday) and she lied and said that she hadn't. She always asks me these kind of things and I tell her the truth. If she told me before that she had sex I would have been upset and angry, but yeah.. So now, needless to say, things are over between us to. I don't want to have any relationship with her. She's still calling me all the time and is no doubt worried. I feel so hurt right now.. it's awful. It's nice that she is at least sympathetic. I don't know how to deal with this.. what do I do? I mean I have school with her everyday.. and one class with her in particular. I'm assuming I should avoid her, right? Help me..

Well, it isn't really your fault that you're hurting him because you're moving. Is it? That's something that I would think that would be out of your control and would be irrational for both of you to blame the other person for. You can't help love, so you can't help hurting somebody by doing certain things. You just need to do your best to solve problems and help the other person. Just show him that you do love and care for him and I'm sure that everything will be okay. He just maybe needs to know you love him very much.

My ex was exactly like you are. We tried probably around 4 or 5 times and had no luck in.. well me penetrating her. We gave up for awhile and like a few weeks later I tried again and it just slipped in without a problem. We weren't sure why this was.. I think that angles have a lot to do with how much it hurts. The best advice is just keep trying different things, try some lube, and be patient. Hope it all works out!

Who knows man, nobody knows what girls are thinking. Most of them seriously don't know what they're thinking half the time. Anyway, I wouldn't read into this stuff so much man. She might just be flirting with you and that's it. If you seriously want a relationship with this girl then just ask for one. I'm just not sure that she'd say yes at this point and time.

Well it is great that you care so much for him that you are willing to call his parents. Right now I don't think he's seeing that side of the argument and probably feels like you betrayed him and are against him. Even though it is totally the opposite. I'm concerned that no matter how much time you spend trying to convince him that you love him and you did this out of love, that he might not forgive you. Stubborn people are like this sometimes and can really only understand what makes sense to them at the moment and have trouble seeing both sides of the argument. It's best to give him some time to cool off, but not enough distance so that he begins to think that you truly do not care. I would fight for this guy.. just because you need to show him how much you do care.

"Dirty" girls are definitely a turn off. I have avoided many who were "dirty" just because of that fact. They were actually really nice people too.. So purity is a good thing, but you don't have to be 100% pure. I like a little dark side too, just as long as you don't show it to every other person. I don't like fake girls at all. I can't stand when a girl acts like that.. when they try and be preppy and cute. I can't describe it really well but I know it when I see it and it drives me crazy. I just wish girls would be themselves. Lastly, I hate drama. Any girl who is a drama queen is going to be a lonely one. I can't stand it. I dated probably the biggest drama queen in my entire high school and sometimes I just seriously wanted to cry. I hated it. Some good things I like about a girl.. I love when a girl knows how to dress. I don't like when a girl comes off looking under-dressed, but when you know the boundary between the two; that's hot. Skirts are definitely a turn on. I like a funny girl who you can talk about anything with. This means they have to have somewhat of an outgoing personality. I like girls who are sweet, but not too sweet to the point when they get annoying. This idea kind of clashes with the fake thing.

I think it's cute when a girl will be frightened and hug and cuddle with a guy. However, there is a point where it starts to get annoying. At least for me. I was in the movies once with this one girl. The movie itself wasn't that scary but she grabbed my hand during one part and squeezed the heck out of it. I didn't mind and I thought it was really cute, but 30 minutes later when she was still doing it and acting like she was truly frightened.. well it just sort of seemed ridiculous to me.

I think you should pursue this guy. I mean it couldn't hurt. You just had a small fling with him, but obviously this guy made an impression if you're still thinking of him several years later. I'm pretty sure that this guy should recall who you are too. Just give him a call and see what's up and hang out. People change a lot during the years so you might be surprised to find that he might not be the same person you remember.. well I can assure you that he probably won't, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean for example you have changed for the better, wouldn't you say? You're going to kick yourself later on if you don't meet up with this guy who is such a big part of your life even though he doesn't know it. Give him a call, meet up with him, and just enjoy your time with him. Don't preoccupy yourself with minuscule details like a relationship, kissing, etc. Just let it flow along and see how things take off! Also, I wouldn't come off spilling my feelings everywhere for him to see. Don't come running off telling him about how you think you two were meant to be and that you love him after four years. Frankly, this is going to scare the guy away most likely. It could be flattering, but overall I would consider it stalkerish. So I would recommend keeping that to yourself until you feel the time is right. Good luck.

I hate HUGE breasts. They aren't attractive at all to me. I think small ones are fine, but I prefer something in between. Like maybe a big b, small c.. those are nice. Each guy seriously varies a lot. You can't just say bigger is better in this case because it depends on the guy's preference.

I don't think you're going to want to get involved with someone who isn't as mature as you are. It's just not a good idea because of all the fights that it starts. My ex seriously acted like she was 12 and we were 16 and it was just awful. I seriously hated her from time to time.. but eventually she got better. She still acted very immature though, and it led to the downfall of our relationship.

Don't shave.. most guys don't. However trimming is another thing. Some people trim it and give it a "buzzcut" or you can just trim it to whatever length you are comfortable with. Usually as long as you're somewhat trimmed most girls won't care. However, when you aren't trimmed, the huge bush that you've acquired isn't that sexy. lol

Confidence is everything, even at your age. Girls know when you are nervous and sometimes it doesn't help establish that attraction that is necessary to have in a relationship. Don't worry about it though.. everyone goes through this at one point. Usually they break out of their shell with their first relationship. That's how I was.. I was confident to seek out other women ending my first relationship. In the meantime, just try and remain confident, funny, and sweet (but not too sweet).