anathema

how do you get an ex to miss you if you go to school together and he gets to see you everyday? How does NC work in this case?

He broke it up because of commitment issues on his part. Said we lost the spark and all that jazz. Now I just don't know how to be around him, to be strong and letting him know that I'm not needy, yet not too aloof to make him think that I don't care anymore. Usually it would be okay if I could keep my distance for a while, but because of the school factor, I have to see him everyday!

It was him that broke it off a little more than a week ago. We wanted to stay friends afterwards partly due to the fact we attend college together and in another week we'll be seeing each other every day. Personally, i wish that weren't the case just so I can do NC. But things are the way they are. So taking advice from this forum, I thought I would be strong, not bring up our relationship, not be needy or emotional in that phone conversation. Hopefully be friendly and the person he fell for before. But I did not intend to come accross that I was completely okay with the breakup and that I've moved on after one week. Hope he didn't take it that way, so he felt he could make that insensitive comment. It's so hard to find a balance - what should I do!!!

so I'm doing pretty well with the NC. Well sort of. I called my ex of a week today just to ask how his week went. No other intentions, just talked like friends. But he mentioned something about looking forward to going back to college and seeing if there are any potential 1st years for him. In a joking sense. But wasn't that a little insensitive or am I being TOO sensitive? Maybe I wasn't ready for that phonecall......

good comments! You write that 2 and 3.5 years are a long time, and forgetting someone won't be that easy. But how about 4 months? That's how long I was with my ex so I believe that he'll move on quite easily (It's been a week since our breakup)

i'm so sorry! See how flustered I am! My ex is a guy. Does this effect the situation at all?

I have one more week.......... Just thinking about how I'll feel seeing the ex in class again. I know he'll try to talk to me and try and stay friends, but since I'm attempting to do the NC thing, I don't know what to do! It's way too much work to try to avoid him, and little casual chitchat is just sometimes insulting! How do I go about this!?!?!?!?!

that makes sense, cecelius. I've tried in the past to stay friends with exes and it seemed like i put in all the work to approach them to chat or even say hi. Eventually, one ex (who did the dumping) even started ignoring my presense. So in this case i made it very clear the she has to put in the effort to stay friends. I thought I would use NC to clear my head and have her initiate things. To prove to me that she wants to stay close friends. But since we start classes together soon, it seems like it'll be too easy for her. It's just not fair when the dumper gets everything they want in the end!

Just quickly, broke up last week. WOuld like to have no contact for several reasons that have been suggested already, but in two weeks we go back to law school together, which means I'll see her every day, all day. I would very much love to get back together with her cause I think we hold potential. She inspires me, but she's a commitment-phobe. How do I give her a chance to miss me if she'll see me everyday anyways? I don't want to ignore her or seem to aloof, but not always available to her either. Advice would be much appreciated!

Hi all - I think I just need some advice and some encouragement that it'll all be okay...... After my ex-boyfriend broke it off about a month ago, we went through cycles of talking like friends.....to ignoring each other....to talking again. He initially wanted to stay friends. I was confused about what I wanted and how to move on, and he just got confused that I kept on switching all the time. I attend school with him so I have to see him everyday all day. Now, he's made the decision to visibly ignore me, pass by me and not even acknowledge my presense - just being a total jerk. What's y'all's take on that? Should I just move on and forget about even trying to stay friends? What is he thinking?!?!?!?!

I feel the same way. I've decided to work on myself, bring myself back to the person I was before the relationship, and just get things back on track and better. Just a question for the success stories. In your cases, how long did it take for you to become friends again with your ex? I'm not trying to set schedules or anything. Just curious.

I had another tough day today, sometimes it gets better and then I relapse again. I was sitting by myself today at school just waiting for a friend - I can't even count the number of times my ex just walked by without saying hello or acknowledging my presense. Now I'm beginning to think that he never meant to stay friends. And honestly, I can't go through all the emotional ups and downs of putting in effort to be a good friend to him. But doesn't anyone think it's a waste of a friend - to know someone so well and then put them out of your life completely? Do y'all think I should initiate contact and ask him why he's doing this? I feel I would seem too needy again. Or should I just give up the thought of staying friends, let it be, and reconcile with the thought that he's out of my life completely. Even worse with being in your ex's class is that we have the same friends, and tonight we're supposed to go out for drinks for a friend's going away party. I don't think I can stand another night of him ignoring me. This is hard.

Thanks guys for all your input, thoughts and advice. This forum has really helped me realize that I'm not alone (everyone thinks their situation is so extraordinary). I need to find strength somewhere to last through the day.... I go to law school with my ex (of about two months now) so I have to see him everyday in and out of class. He broke up with me becuase of the usual commitment issues, wants to date others, so on and so forth. I now realize that I don't want to be with someone like that, but would entertain the thought of getting back together with him when he finds to strength to try again. The awkard part....since we HAVE to see each other everyday he wanted to stay friends. However, because I was so hurt, sometimes I can't even say hi. Sometimes I feel like talking to him like we used to, and sometimes I can't help but ignore him. The thing is, he doesn't make an effort to even say hi either. Why? Do you think he doesn't care to be friends and that he just said it to make me feel better? Or does he think he's just respecting me by keeping "no contact" with me, although it was his idea to stay friends? Another question...I know it's best to keep busy and to move on. But what about those times when you have tons of things to say...silly little things...that one would only say to their boy/girlfriend. But, now that they've left you, where do y'all turn to..... Thanks a bundle.