serena112

if you truly love each other an age gap even of 40 years shouldnt matter. you are both adults and it is your life. i have never dated a man my age. my last situation was with a man who was 45 and i am 24. i know what you mean about being able to talk to the person easily. he and i could talk about anything with ease and never was our conversation forced or one sided. good luck to you and dont worry if someone has something negative to say. as long as you are happy they dont matter.'

Well I just have to add my .02 here. The initial problem is that he's YOUR BOSS and next he's married. I have always dated older men but I refuse to date married man. Frankly I can never play second to any woman or take her leftovers. But you'll do what you want to do anyway. I would seriously rethink this relationship. I wouldn't bet on him leaving his wife. That's one of the oldest lines in the book. If he really wanted to leave his wife then he would have divorced her by now and you two wouldn't have to sneak around. I wouldn't be surprised if he tells you that she makes him unhappy and that with you his world seems brighter. But like I said he will not divorce her. Of course he isn't going to stop sleeping with you either. How many 64 year old men can say that they have a 24 year old woman on the side? Good luck to you but this isn't going to end in a happy fairy tale.

I have to go with the others on this one. He just wanted sex. I know it hurts and you deserve an apology, but don't hold your breath for it. He probably doesn't even think he did anything wrong and has moved on to someone else. Count your blessings he's out of your life and find someone who will respect you and is good enough for you.

It really depends on what you prefer. I'm 24 and I have no interest in guys my age. Never had.

you guys have made a good point. I'm being critical of him and it's not that all different from what I feel he's doing to me. He and I talked tonight and have agreed that slow is the only way this is going to work. We'll see how it goes. Thanks for all your advice.

My situation probably isn't anything new but already it's causing some problems and red flags. I have been in past relationships that have been abusive (mentally and physically) and have been cheated on. I still hold firm to the belief that there are good men out there I just haven't met one yet. So a year ago one of those bad relationship ended and yes for some unknown reason I was terribly upset. I took the year to figure out what I truly wanted and what I was doing that led me into these bad relationshps. Well a year later and a new outlook I've found myself in whole new situation. I met this guy on a phone dating service who was a trucker. He and I hit it off really well and have spent some time together when he comes through. He calls almost every day and our conversations are really good. He doesn't ask for sex or continually talks about it. (which is a plus in my opinion.) He's respectful and honest. The problem is that he ended a bad relationship several months ago. The ex cheated on him on atleast two occasions that he knows of. Now he doesn't trust women at all. He says he can learn to trust me. I don't really know how to handle this situation. He is big on saying you have to go into a relationship with your head and not your heart. I just don't know what to do with this guy. I don't know if I should walk away now or try to do this his way. I don't think I've ever dated a guy with as much as baggage as I used to have. By the way and this ex have a daughter together. I have every right in the world not trust men but I refuse to. I won't rob myself of a possible future just because of some losers in my past. What can i do to help him realize that I'm not like his ex? I've been honest with him about everything he's asked since the beginning. He even seems to get a little huffy when I miss his call because I was on the phone with a friend of mine. My friend lives 3 states away and I have known this man for over 7 years. He will always be my friend and I will drop this knew guy if he tries to force me to make a choice. friends like that don't come easy. I want to get to know know him more but sometimes it feels like he's pushing me away. He told me last time he came to visit that "a woman like you can make a man fall in love quick". Thinking about it now that makes me wonder if that was an insult. He even commented about me being my age (24) and knowing how to kiss like I do. Granted I may be a little experienced but cut me a little slack... Sorry this was so long but as you can tell I really need a little advice here. Thanks in advance

Thanks for your advice. I think I just wanted to hear someone say what I'd been thinking.

My situation is probably one you've all heard of before. I guess I am seeking validation or just someone to look at this objectively. I met this guy on a phone date line. We met up and we kinda clicked. He is 43 and I'm 24. There's a 19 year gap and he has two sons with the oldest being 21. He is a widower and has been for several years. He wanted to take it slow and I accepted that because I wasn't sure if I even wanted this relationship. He wants to be friends but for the past two weeks has all but shut me down when it came to me coming over or spending time with him. He owns his own business (I'm still not sure if it's true) and is active in his church. True he stays business but I know that when a man wants you he will make time regardless. I wanted to give a fair chance. I've had my share of losers and hate not being able to trust alot of people. Usually I can read and be able to tell what they are about within the first 20mins of talking to them. But him I can't quite figure out. One day he sings to me "you'll never find a love as good as mine"...and then the next he's too busy and really just wants a friend. He says that if he didn't want me as a friend he wouldn't call and that he wasn't interested he wouldn't call. He's jerking my chain and I'm irritated cause I let him. Right now I'm confused. I don't know if I want him because I can't have him or what. I don't know how to handle this guy and think it's making it's hard for me to see him for what he really is. Am I completely wrong about this situation or do you agree that I'm being played?

Well I'm kinda in a similar situation so I understand your anxiety. I was on the pill for years and usually if I forgot one pill it wasn't really a problem. You can just double up on your next few pills till you catch up and then after that use a condom until your period starts. Also if you are stressing out lately it can even delay your period.

It seems like she is really confused and honestly even though I don't know you I think you could do better. You deserve to have someone who is there for you and loves you for you. Give it time and I'm sure someone even better will come your way. If you ever need a friend to talk to leave me a message. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

I get what you're saying and I understand. I don't want to be hurt again and that is why it's taking me so long to get the nerve to ask him out.

There is this guy that I'm in college with. He's 26 and I'm 22. He's white and I'm black but there is no problem with that. We both flirt alot and he pretty much jokes around with everyone. Lately I realized that I am starting to have feelings for him. I would like to date him. However I'm not sure if he is really interested or just playing around. I mean we hug all the time and sometimes he kisses my neck while we're hugging. He makes very suggestive remarks to me, but then again that's how we joke around. Should I just talk to him about it? I'm afraid that if I make a move that I could get rejected and I don't want things to become akward. Can you give me any advice?

I talked to him about it. He told me that what happened in the past should stay in the past and that it's not important. I couldn't ask for anything more. Thanks for the advice.

Thanks for your reply. I'm pretty sure that I don't have anything but I want to be positive that I don't. I will tell him b/c he is the type of person who hates secrets. So I have to come clean before it gets to serious again. Thanks again

My bf and I broke up about a month ago. Earlier this week I had a one night stand with a guy I knew for about 3 weeks. We used a condom, we didn't even kiss or have oral sex. Now I am back with my bf and we don't use protection. I don't know what to do. I practiced safe sex and just to be on the safe side I'm going to get tested Monday. Should I tell my bf about my one night stand or should I not mention unless I find out I have something. Thank you for your advice in advance.

My bf told me yesterday that he couldn't be with me anymore. Over the past two months our relationship has been strained anyway. I hadn't seen him in two months until yesterday. I had sent him an email and in it I said some really mean things. It hurt him alot and he told me it brought back memories from ex wife. He said he couldn't let himself fall into that situation again. He couldn't let his heart be hurt again. He refused to tell me that he didn't love me anymore or that he didn't want me anymore. He still cares but he won't go back on his decision. After yesterday I doubt that we'll have any contact again. He finally got another job and a decent car and now he ready to move on. I guess it would have been easier on me if he had just said he didn't care anymore. But he didn't. I know that this relationship is over. How do I stop loving him and stop crying? How do I move on? Where do I find the courage to believe in love again?

I've posted a few times and have gotten great advice so I thought that I should ask you all about this too. My bf and I have been having trouble for about two months now. Since he lost his job he hasn't been the same. We live in the same city but he doesn't even come over anymore. He calls me once a week. He stays with his folks but he never gave me the number and never calls me from there. There is a lot of drama there anyway. He is basically unreachable until he calls someone. We've argued and I've accused him of cheating and he denys it. Right now I just want out of this relationship. Unfortunately I love him but I hate what he's doing. He calls his god sister more often than he calls me. I don't know what is wrong with him. I know that he hates being jobless, his car is gone, and honestly nothing is going right for him. Should I just give up and not care if he ever calls me again? How do I finally get closure when the relationship is up in the air? Thanks in advance for your help.

I have been with my bf for 8 months. He is 26 years old and I'm 21. He is divorced and has a son. In his past relationships he has been cheated on and mistreated. I don't think he trusts women that much. We were doing fine until he lost his job and his car. He now does home repair with a friend and is currently living between his friend's house and his parents. He has a lot of pride and refuses to ask for help especially from me. Lately he has been working so hard that he doesn't even have time for himself or me. I hear from him maybe once a week. I love him so much and I don't want to give up on us. How do I show him that I want to help him? How do I prove to him that I will stand by him?

It sounds like he's playing games. Honestly love shouldn't hurt. In my opinion I don't think a guy who mistreats his lady is going to just say that he doesn't want to be with her anymore. I was in a relationship like that before. He would do things to hurt me and I just wouldn't walk away. I wanted him to be the one to say it was over. That way I wouldn't have to question myself about whether or not I let something good go. Right now it may seem hard to let go but you will feel better over time. Eventually you'll look back and wonder why you even put up with it that long. My advice is to let him go. Tell him that you're not going to take it anymore and walk away. He might try to say the famous lines, "I'll change. I'm sorry I hurt you. Things will be better." He might change for all of two months and then things will go back to normal. If you keep taking him back he'll feel like he can get away with anything. I hope that things work out for you. Be strong, ok.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months. We have a lot in common and have a great time together. He lost his job about 2 months ago and since then our relationship has gone downhill. We've always had an issue about spending time together. Lately it is nearly impossible. He does home repair work with a friend of his at this friends house. The guy taught him everything he knows about home repair. It's like his second family. He spends all his time there or at his aunts. I may see him once a week and there are times when he doesn't call for 3 days straight. He says he loves me and he's had bad relationships in the past. I'm a junior in college and I know he gives me a little extra space so that I can study and do my work. I don't know what to do. It's hard to get in contact with him sometimes. I love him and I want to work it out but I feel like I should just walk away. Do you think I should tell him that I'm unhappy with the situation? Should I tell him that I want to end it? Any advice would be greatly appreaciated.