Felyne

Okay, so me saying I just want to manage my jealousy and be with him when I can wasn't quite true. What I want is for him to leave his wife and be with me. for me to get a job elsewhere if necessary but for me to be the one he comes home to at night. that's what i want right now although I honestly don't know about the future. I'm not hugely into committing forever. What if I ask him to do this and if he says yes then great and if he says no then I leave go him and the job and go somewhere safer???

A year ago I was an article clerk who hated auditing. My confidence was crushed because of all my previous mistakes. this man gave me a job and within a few months I'm financial manager of his very successful company which he started 2 years ago to get away from home and retirement because he was bored. I've been able to travel because I haven't had the money. Since I got this job I've been all over this little country and attended some of the most exciting business meetings I can imagine and yes it's a power trip. It's all happened so fast. And honestly - I believe that if I ended it we'd still be friends. Only problem is we'd probably end up back together knowing my level of self-control. I want to get out of here. Out of this country. I want to see the world and learn about life and people and study further. Above all I'm scared of being stuck - in a place, in a relationship, in a dead-end job. I've never had strong morals around people I haven't met. Though I'm probably overly loyal to people I know and care about.

Yeah you're right. That's why I'm sitting at working on a Friday night, getting advice off the internet because anybody who knows and cares about me would be worried sick and really angry and so I don't feel like going home where I live with the most amazing friends. I've been so blind not to see it coming. I wish I could have someone older and with enough money to take care o me. Not that I want much materially or don't want to work - I love keepingbusy. Just that I'd love to have the security of knowing someone would take care of me where I couldn't take care of myself. And I want someone to adore me and I want to make someone feel good about themselves, even if it is for al the wrong reasons. I don't wanna be alone every night and I don't seem to meet any available guys who actually want a relationship. And flings are starting to hurt. And yes I know I'm in a mess. Why else would I be here?

I'm in South Africa - doubt his wife woud have a case against me. I'm in professional help. Haven't done a single stupid thing for a year and a half. thought I was getting better. Very interesting that number one problem for everyone seems to be the marraige, number 2 that he's my boss and it doesn't seem to matter mch that he's so much older. For me I feel like he could leave his wife and I could leave me job and we could be together but then he'd get older so quickly, I'd have to give up on having kids, would we be socially acceptable?

what is it?

Previous relationships - only 1 serious... age 15 to 22 and he was 6 years older. In the last 2 years I've just dated casually. This is the first time since 15 that I've felt someone is worth taking a risk. I have a history of throwing away jobs, friendships, etc and starting from scratch. This has got me into a lot of trouble. Alcohol/drugs/ED, treatment/rehab. But now I have something to lose and for the first time I don't want to screw up without thinking it through first. Thanks for all the advice. I know what I'd say to one of you, I know what the "right" thing to do is. I'm so excited to find ou what will happen next. Maybe I just don't want to grow up.

Just wanted to add. My mom and dad have a 30 year age gap. Talk about repeating patterns.

I think I've got myself into the worst possible type of relationship. I'm 24, he's 64. I'm single, he's married (4th marraige). He's my boss. I love my job (besides having to deal with my boss's son who works t the same company and suspcts I'm having an affair with his dad). I got to know my boss because I work a lot of overtime as does he. We'd spend some time chatting after work and sometimes we'd go for dinner. It was always innocent, always flirtatious. Then we went on a work trip and spent 5 hours alone in the car together. During the trip I felt charged. The conference was full of older, successful, powerful men, and being the only young woman around, they all wanted to talk to me and sit next to me. But I felt 100% loyal to my boss. By night to we were sleeping together and it was the best night of my life. I wanted to stay in bed with him forever. He said he'd love to spend every night with me. He kept saying how lucky he is. I think he's gorgeous and funny and he makes me feel really looked after. When we got home from the trip he left on another business trip and is still away. He phones me a few times a day. We tell each other that we miss each other. He wants to take me away so that we can spend time together, but says he has to have an excuse to be away. He's too old for me to want to spend the rest of my life with. What I want is to be able to manage my jealousy of his wife and the fact that we can't spend much time together, and to carry on with my life, and enjoy him when I can. Does anybody think this is possible or am I mad?