Nannie2003

Well, since my last post the man I fell in love with & was treated so badly by, called me like nothing was wrong. We talked for over an hour, I told him why I felt the things I felt, what he did to hurt me, what it was going to take to get him back in good standing. He came clean, we talked longer, & he asked if he could come over but not stay over because he had to go to his 'other' job or if we could meet for coffee if that made me feel safer or better. I agreed to let him come over & when he got here he tells me at the last minute when he was leaving his house he got a call telling him he didn't have to work after all & can he could stay over if I wanted him to & only if I felt it was ok. Well, I melted and agreed. I have to give myself credit that I wasn't needy, didn't beg him to stay, call me later & so on. We had a good time talking & being together. It was sort of like a first date all over again, minus him staying over. Well, needless to say after he left I was on cloud nine again. Later,I had a job interview & was preparing online for some background info & remembered that I had signed up for the internet dating service we met on to see if he was doing that rather than seeing me & I was going to resign my account. Well, guess who I found had signed up today & updated his profile & was online! I called him & we had another big fight. I told him this was unacceptable. He says he didn't do it that the computer at his work is accessable to everyone & when anyone logs on it automatically logs onto his 'disabled' account. (This doesn't happen) I decided to keep my account open to check on him. I have another interview in the am & I was again preparing & at 12:00 am this morning he was logged on. I tried to send him a chat & he got offline so fast it was amazing! I tried to email him personally & through the dating service and he hasn't answered me. Am I nuts or is there help for a relationship with this man? I hate to think I'm this desparate or needy. Why would he lie like this? If he doesn't want me, just say so. I told him that today & he said if this got to a point where he wanted out he would tell me. _________________

RUN, DON'T WALK AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN! She has a disease that you can not heal, you can not make better and the bad vibes and reactions from her will only drag you down into her obiss. I, too was in a relationship with someone who was one loving, caring person and then BANG, he's gone, with his ex, doesn't want me to contact him or see him unless he tells me it's okay. Believe me when I say, I gave this man my trust, love, opened my home, gave him money and still he went back to his ex which if what he told me is true, is a BAD relationship as well. You can't help her, she has to come to the idea of getting help and taking medication on her own. Hope you see your way through this. I know it hurts. I still want to be with the man I love and care about, but I know it isn't healthy for me and that person in my mind tells me this is true. So, cry, morn the loss of your relationship but get as far away from her as possible.

I can't believe I'm in another relationship with a man who came into my life like a hurricane, with love, caring, promises of a wonderful life together, asked me to marry him, even before we met, then all of a sudden he's distant and cruel. He moved in with me after only one month, stayed three weeks then went back to his apartment. He 'says' he was working another job (he's with the governement and is in national security for our state at military bases) doing undercover work related to terrorism. He says I can't come to his apartment because his partner has to stay there as they are on 30 minute call for these assignments. Then he tells me to stop calling his place and waking this guy (?) up! I did a stupid thing and sat outside his apartment, waited for him to come from work on a night when he said he couldn't come see me because he had to go work his other job. I watched him drive up, go inside and he never came back out. I drove home, called him and he wouldn't answer. The next day he yelled at me for calling his house and 'bothering' him. Now, the kicker: His ex-wife is moving back to our state with his 16 year old because the kid has 'problems with guilt' over choosing to live with her mother and not being able to see him on a regular basis. He has been angry and distant since he told me about this and he made it painfully clear that his kids come first before anything, him, his relationships, even if he has to eat peanut butter sandwhiches, his kids get their's first. Then he says that the ex is going to be living with him and he doesn't know what the situation outcome will be. He says 'worst case' is that they will live as man and wife again and our life and the future of our relationship is 'on hold' and he can't tell me anything because he doesn't know anything. Thursday night he was supposed to come here after his 'job' and said he would be here after six but before midnight, well he wasn't and I got so upset becasue he had yelled and yelled at me eariler for calling him (his day off) and I had hung up on him, so I called his house and left a message, because I knew he was there, and said that if he didn't call me back before 1:00 am I was coming there. Boy, he called in two minutes. Didn't make for a good conversation. He berated me for calling his house, said I was obcessive, (?) for asking for his time, and generally made me feel like a dog. After an hour of screaming and yelling at me on the phone he said 'I love you' and I don't know when I can see you. His ex and daughter are coming today. I am so stupid and needy that I wrote him an email and promised to let him have this time with them, professed my love and understanding and in general, my absolute trust and faith. Last night I went, with a girlfriend, to his house, and there he was, not working, his ex-'s car wasn't there. I didn't confront him but my friend wanted me to, she was so mad she wanted to knock on his door and jerk a knot in him. He told me he had to work again and didn't have time for me. I know in my mind that this is over, but my heart is broken. I'm so embarrassed and humilitated. I gave him money, money I didn't have, and now I'm afraid I'll never get it back. Can anyone tell me how a man can go from a loving, caring, supportive, want to be with you all the time, let's get married RIGHT NOW type of person to 'stay away from my house, don't call me, you should have never gotten involved with a man that wears a badge, our relationship is going to be a 'catch as catch can' until further notice type of man? Right now I'm so angry I want to call him, but I know he won't answer so I'd have to email him and tell him to return my keyes to my home, car and storage unit, pay me back the money he owes me . As I sit here and write this I feel like I was in a car wreck, I hurt so much. I just want to stay in bed and cry. I love this man, he was so good to me in the beginning and we had wonderful talks, he took care of me when I was sick with such care and gentleness, we had great sex and a mutual respect for each other. Why do men do this? I've proved to myself that he's a liar, a cheater and he can't get over his ex. When we first met those were the three things I told him I wasn't going to put up with. I've been there four times now, including him and I don't know if I ever want to open my heart again. If anyone can help me, please let me know what to do. I'm so tired, I didn't sleep after he called me Thursday night and I stayed up all day Friday, went out with my friend and I only got 6 hours sleep last night.