CallingAllAngels

The only thing I did was breathe, and that's only because my body did it for me automatically. As always, great job SB. ~Allie

so did I...so did I...... ~Allie

When I read it....I was just GONE INTO THE PAST MAN...right there in the moment with that person...again...thank you for that ;-)

^It made me think of someone from my long ago...thanks for the memory...it was bittersweet ;-)

It just drew me in like I was right there in the moment with someone... That's good poetry...when you can get lost in it...

Wow - I'm speechless. Loved it. ~Allie

Sorry it hurts so much. Sometimes, those left unwritten are those that mean the most. ~Allie

I love it... I think you should finish it...and if you do...I hope you would share it with us... ~Allie

Wow...wonderful SB...just wonderful.

That's really good music guy... Reminds me so much of my situation: "I'll never understand I'll never know why.... I'll just say... Good-bye" Took me a long time to come to acceptance with that...a very VERY long time. ~Allie

Somebloke... That is simply beautiful. I'm speechless. Thank you for sharing it.

Well, being overweight seems to be the only "discrimination" that is acceptable anymore. I know because many years ago I was overweight, and I know how it feels. I'm sorry, and I know you can't change that over night. But, remind yourself that being overweight does not make you any less of a person. Regarding your depression...have you ever seen a therapist? There is no shame. If you hurt your ankle, you would seek medical help for that, correct? Why is there still such a stigma attached to mental health? It drives me crazy. Since you are at college, certainly there must be councelors and/or psychiatrists available for you to see. There is no need to suffer like this. Absolutely no need. And...you can be surrounded by a thousand people and still feel all alone...even with your whole family...still feel very very lonely. You need to find out why honey. Don't sink any lower. Do something about it. And please do keep us posted. My best... ~Allie

Gem... That is great...thank you for sharing. I am starting to feel that way too. ~Allie

HEY! I think this great... You know...I used to write poetry YEARS ago...I wonder if I still have it. It was a passion of mine.... The kind I wrote didn't always rhyme... I think this is great...and describes how I feel...very broken... Thanks for sharing...I never ever shared mine with anyone. Now I'll have to go digging through boxes. I'm really rusty...but I should try writing. ~Allie

I am a married woman who's husband cheated... I never blamed the OW... I always blamed my Husband... HE cheated for 3 years.. IN that time frame, he had MANY an opportunity to say NO... But he did not. SHE was also married... But SHE did not make a promise to me... My husband promised me FOREVER. He broke his promise. She promised HER husband...she broke HER vow to HIM. I never blamed her...I always blamed MY HUSBAND. Perhaps I am an exception to the rule. In the end...everyone is reponsible for their own actions. Allie

Way to go, calling the other woman! First...I believe her...what in the WORLD does she have a reason to lie for? Your fiance' got caught... You asked for an unbiased opinion... DON'T MARRY HIM. Yes, easier said than done. But if he's fooling around now, he'll continue, and I see nothing but heartbreak for you... I wish you the best.... ~Allie

OMG!!!!!! This was the EXACT excuse my husband gave me...word for word!

My husband started out "innocently" looking at porn. While I did not like it, I looked the other way. I found an odd looking charge on our credit card in December, and called to question it. The woman on the phone was very forth coming...explained that they are an "adult web site"....that husband has had his "account" for a year and 1/2. (Guess I never looked at our bill that closely!) Their site works like this: There are hunderes of women with profiles on this site. Men go thru, and find one they like. They then invite the woman into a private room. They are able to see each other and hear each other, via web cams. (We don't have a web camera, so, the woman could not see my husband, BUT, he could see and hear her.) The man tells the woman what he wants her to do. Each woman charges her own "fee". If the man accepts the fee, she will do what he asks, and, depending on how long he is in the room, money is deducted from his account. She gave me all the dates and time my husband was in "rooms" with women. When confronted, he denied the whole thing. It was not until I started quoting dates and times that he admitted to it. Porn can become quite a problem! Oh..and I should add, one week later, I found out he had an affair. That, on top of the on-line prostiution was too much for me, and, we are no separated. He sees nothing wrong with his actions. Just my 2 cents... ~Allie

Read my post under the thread "husband caught making out with another woman". I believe it is post #17. I know exactly how you feel. My husband would not discuss what "really happened" until I became so ill I was barely able to function. My heart goes out to you... ~Allie

"Oh the tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive." Here's my situation...my husband cheated on me with a coworker 7 years ago. I always knew "in my gut" that he cheated. He NEVER admitted it. I found out, yes, by snopping (be careful what you look for, you might not like what you find) that they DID indeed have an affair. When confronted...he denied it. Even in the face of PROOF. Denied it. Then the story changed...it went from "I don't remember" to "it was one kiss, and I pushed her away" to, "well, we 'just making out' a few times" to "it didn't go on for years, it was just months" (I know it was 3 years) and back to "I don't remember how far we went...we might have had sex...I don't remember....blah blah blah." This man is a liar. He deceived me for 7 years. I will tell you what I KNOW, from my heart: You will NOT be able to "live" a real life with this woman KNOWING that she is lying to you. You won't. Sure, if will be okay NOW, and for a while, but, this affair that you knew about (even if you were on a break, you were still married) will fester inside you like an infection that will eventually come to a head. If you don't want to "ask" her by yourself, go to a marriage councelor, and ask the question with a 3rd person there. ALL relationships are based on trust. If you don't have trust, you have nothing. I wish you the very best... ~Allie

Amen. My husband acted like the "victim" of this OW he was having an affair with..."if felt so good to have another woman want me sexually, blah blah blah." I'm SURE it would have felt GREAT for me to be with another man sexually too. BUT, I never was. I took my marital vows seriously. I am not with my husband any more, and, he truly regrets it. He is very sorry. I am working on forgiveness, and have made much progress. HOWEVER, I know one thing...I will NEVER be able to trust him again. Trust is the most important part of a relationship...takes the longest to build and only SECONDS to destroy it. My life was ripped out from underneath me because, for 3 years, my husband "enjoyed" having another woman "beg him for sex" (yes, I do quote him) Sorry if I sound bitter...I'm trying not to. I just get sick of so many people wanting their cake and being able to eat it to. You want another man or another woman? Then tell your spounse and move on. The hurt you cause by your selfish behavior is far reaching.

Craig... I am so sorry for what you are going thru. You raise a very good point..."aren't I a good enough reason to dump someone?" I don't want to be harsh, but I think she wants to be able to have her cake and eat it to. My 2cents is to move on... If she wanted to be with you, she would be with you. Period. Again, I am sorry. ~Allie

Great post... My husband cheated on me 6 years ago, and I just found out... Even though it is "over" between them, he is "sketchy" with the details..."I don't remember", and becomes very defensive when asked. His story changes from "she kissed me once and I pushed her away" to we were "just making out" to "It wasn't years...it was months"... I will never ever know the truth. All I do know, if I found this out on December 28th, 2006. I aksed him to leave the house. He would not. So, I have left and gone back 3 times...I cannot move past this...it hurts too much, and I KNEW at the time something was going on. He LIED to me, as I had a very STRONG GUT (which I will NEVER doubt again) feeling that something was up with them. They worked together every day...went on breaks and lunch together, and, every weekend, he would go out with a "bunch of people from work", and, when I asked to go along, he would get irrate, and say "no one else is bringing their spouses..." I would ask what time he would be home. He would say "I do not know." He would roll in at 3 or 4am, drunk. When asked where he was (as bars close here @ 2am) he would say, "I was just out, driving around, thinking about things...." Looking back, I just CANNOT believe I tolereated that behavior, and, believed his "reason" for being out so late. I guess it's because I told him it was "bs" and he would swear up and down that nothing was going on with "her", that he REALLY WAS just "driving around". Now...I am staying with my parents. Our marriage is over. I do NOT know how long the affair went on...my guess is from 1996-1999. I DO know that it is over. But that is only because I found extemely sexually explicit emails between them, and, at that point, threatened to call her husband. So have been DECEIVED from 1999-2006 is just more than I can handle. We went to marriage counceling in 2000 and he could have told me then, because IN THERAPY, with the THERAPIST in the room, I asked him if ANYTHING had ever happened between him and this other woman, even "just a kiss". He looked at me right in the eyes and said "No." Throughout the past years, I have asked him probably 100 times. 100 times he has told me that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING happened between them. To find out from someone who "saw them going at it" was more than I could bear. ONLY then, in the face of undeniable proof did he admit something happened. And now, he won't even tell me the whole story...keeps saying "I don't remember...." that bs...and...the best of all..."it meant nothing." If it meant nothing, then WHY DID YOU DO IT? Sorry this turned into such a rant. Your advice is good...don't do it. Tell your husband/wife you want out of the marriage. Then go pursue the other person. It hurts so many people...not just the 2 involved. And we don't even have children. The fall out has been tremendous. ~Allie

I am sorry for your pain. As someone who "thought my husband was having an affair and was lied to for 6 years about it, I can only tell you this....TRUST you gut. It's not stearing you wrong. If you think someone is cheating, then they probably are. I know my husband was. And he told lie after lie after lie...excuse after excuse...things that didn't even make SENSE, but I believed him, because I wanted to. Now, I am shattered...the marraige is over...it takes years to build trust and only a second to destroy it. I can tell you that no one should have to "snoop" though someone's text messages. Been there and done that. It doesn't feel good to do that, and, it's a sign that something is wrong. So sorry for what you are going thru... Allie