Carl5000

It depends from what perspective you look at the statue) i don't feel confidence comes from within yourself, but from what you perceive as the cultures, ideal or utopia. Especially, from the universals the media creates. I'd guess the media's ideal women would be slim, large breasts, pert bum and obviously a sysmetrical face. Your self-esteem, confidence probably comes down from comparisons to other people and what u believes valued the highest. If you feel that most men put breasts size at the top of their want list and if u have no chest, this has to effect your confidence, but to what extend is debatable. Also postive and negative reinforcements from others r important- if you were bullied over your breast size, indirect comments media, beautiful or only large breasted models in all forms of media might make u more insecure. I read a survey once, in a popular UK magazine. They surveyed around 2,000men and 51% preferred large, with 49%small. Personally, i'm not bothered about breast size in the slightest, it goes no way to determining if i find a girl attractive. My own confidence and self-esteem is related in what i believe women r looking for in a man. I'm tall, quite good looking and have no problems approaching women as i've had, plus predict a high success rate on the approach. On the flip side, i have a small p*enis and this seriously effects my confidence. I've been rejected, humilated and laughed in the past, plus the media tells me i'm undesirable- i'm sure if i was hung i'd have no problems being sexually confidence due to the postive reinforcements. My lack of endownment, effects my approach though, as by the law of average's and my belief in teh universals i dont predict a positive reaction and more likely some emotional pain once we become sexualxD. Its been a deal breaker for many women i've dated. thereforeeee, in the area of women my confi = 0, yet in other areas its high, based on successes and failures. Its very much behaviourism, the external world determines your confidence, self worth and wether you engage in takes- stimulus, response. Here's a simple e.g. Subject A: gets 4 A's in his A-levels and B gets 3 D's and 1 E. Whose going to be more CONFIDENT(inner self-confidence) on being successful at university? 98% of the time subject A, as he/she's alot smarter and would enjoy the success and of being perceived as clever- he'll have more self-belief and maybe even work harder. You obviously, get the exception to the rule who uses optimism or strong willpower to overcome weakness, yet its so much easier if you've got the skills to succeed in the first place. I look at myself, friends and the women were dated and breast size, we've all dated an array of women with small, medium, large breasts it hasnt been a factor. Im confident weight might be a factor as its valued way above breast size. The majority of men have issues with weight in relation to attractiveness but most women can lose the weight, so its not a problem to become overly depressed about. BREAST SIZE- of little importance in my eyes. I don't really evaluate women's breasts i can't ever remember thinking 'wow' she's just amazing' look at those breasts eheh thats the honest truth. Its probably the last thing i check out on a women. Just try and change ur thinking, although if its a deep, habitual way of thinking it might take some time.

An old psychology lecturer told us how most ppl believe they've got an 'above average intellect' even though it goes against logic. It appears in many areas leadership, social skills, knowledge or any particular area of interest. I guess being conscious makes alot of us egocentric) I bet if everyone whose posted in this topic, gave an honest answer. They'd admit to thinking of themselves as being smart. Only a small minority would even consider themselves as being 'stupid or of low intellect'. I guess, its all good for self-esteem and happiness ~ i cherish my denial of low IQ eheh. I think its called 'a transevalution of values'

Well, looks are concrete, usually everyone has a similar idea if someone is aesthetically wonderful) yet intelligence is really subjective. I've got quite a low IQ, yet i know i can certainly come accross as being reasonably intellgent, if a girl wants to go down that route. I won't be able to discuss Einstein's Relativity and the Quantum Revolution, yet i can hold my own on matters concerning history, politics, philosophy even some art, literature purely from independent reading. Even, the attractive celebrities without many brain cells between them aka spears, lohan, jordon, hilton could impress the public ~ if they started reading up on a few intellectual areas. Beyond appearance and intelligence i'm more inclined to go towards the modest, down to earth personality type. Really strikingly beautiful or super smart ladies usually become arrogant or seriously egotistical, which is natural, but you can't deny its a turn off. If you want some action, go for the hot girl. A long term relationship then obviously somebody whose around ur brain capacity. Definitely intelligence over appearance, those celebrities i named seem seriously retarded. So, overly obsessed with fashion and looking good, yet they spurn out such boring bs. Oh, do u like my new haircut? i'm dating a new greek billionaire, he's certainly the one, its LOVE!! next week their onto the next bloke lol. The worrying thing is ppl buy this s**t its scarey. Maybe, i aint so stupid after all xD

Thats interesting jen, my doctor's suggested i take anti-depressants. Although, I can't visualise that my mood swings are biological. Its mostly down to my circumstances and things external to me and it isn't irrationality either. I'm slightly depressed atm, although its just a seasonal disorder and my mood usually lifts after the new year. Plus, i have too much time off during christmas and the new year period, which gives me plenty of time to self-reflect. Thinking is a disease, im at my happiest when im engaged in tasks where i don't have to self-reflect. Or, if i'm at home alone, i usually try not to worry or go over problems too much, as worrying usually just runs amok. Suicide isn't an option anymore, you always have hope, even in the most desperate situations. I like to view life as a challenge these days and suicide as a form of weaknesses. Its just an absurd example of power dynamics. You always have a glimmer of hope in life, not matter how many things r stacked against you. Mylastwords, can't you work on keeping busy or use a from of repression, denial to get away from ur anxiety. Many yrs ago, i suffered from anxiety for several weeks and i was seriously contemplating suicide. I could empathise with ppl self-harming as i was desperate to deflect the mental pain. A good analogy i was taught is that anxiety is similar to anger. Where, it just keeps on building and similarly to anger it can turn into a full blown rage. Your thinkings becomes completely out of sink and problems escalate and ur can never resolve them through worrying, its utterly useless. Currently, im totally pissed off with life, yet in a sense its a case of bring it on, with fate, guns, arrows, slings and what not) part of me is in a war like spirit, wanting to fight back and take on the world. All rather hilarious, yet enhancing. Im focusing on getting past the New year and resuming with my normal routine, it just can't come quick enough. I can't lie, it does feel like i'm running into a 30feet wall at times and i'd need a human solution to quantum tunneling to reach the otherside. I have hope as my little demi-god )

whats so disgusting about it?they just see some relationships as body sex and ain't really interested in the emotional aspect. Everyone, does this to a degree. I feel its perfectly normal, if you've got it flaunt it ) they r just trying to live life to the maximum and probably get some on the side, good luck to them.# Its not for me though, i'm reasonable attractive yet i prefer to down play it somewhat. I Like to go unshaven and won't take much care over my appearance, i don't want to come accross as egocentric or narcissistic. Also, its so i'll hopefully attract a likewise girl who can past the shallowness of bodies and try to like me as a person. Overall, its cos i've got a tiny and solely cos sexual relationships r off limits. If i had the goods, i probably be like the posers in the gym who get my respect. I know a stereotypical guy like u've described where i work, he always works with tight tops on outside opening hours. It gets him alot of attention from the opposite sex and i feel many men are resentful and jealous, as he gets laid more than them. They give him a hard time about it in and outside work-even i do it on occasionals) its all good..some peeps seek emotional relationships, others unemotional its probably alot down to ur strengths and weaknesses. Hey tiredman, if your single why don't u join in the fun, your probably score with some shallow ladies hehe

true tired, it takes two to tango ) thats relationships though always a struggle, where one partner is willing to put more effort in, as they value the other person more than the other- you rarely ever find a perfect match of two split apples fitting together perfectly. Plus complacency always creaps in, once they feel the other person is secured xD. I bet he put more effort in initially. The actual act of premature ejaculation isn't a problem in my eyes, as it can't be helped. But, is he making efforts to satisfy you in other ways, as stated. Men r always satified sexually, which is a bonus, yet many women rarely are ) so then men are under more pressure to perform as many women r sexually frustrated , thats one bad botty, freaking rotation. Overall, relationships are freaking daft ) i'd love to be content being on my own, yet the creator didn't make it that way. Its a time-bomb always ticking away, must reproduce gimme sex, sex, sex haah. The will to life!! Its just a fact that at an underlining level, were all egoists and completely selfish even if we don't appear to be on the outside, as its advantageous to get our needs meet~ us clever animals got malnipulation down to an art- the most noble at it succeed in life. I'm sure deep deep down, in the pits of the unconscious, the man doesn't really care about satisfying his partner in the slightest- only in knowing what he might lose, does he buck his ideas up. Controversial !!! Stealing some freud, the psyche is made up of animalistic drives ~sex and aggressive, with conscious coming later to give humans the reality aspect and to stop ppl self-destructing. Darwinism survivial of teh species. but i believe he got it spot on, very subjective but accurate in my eyes. thereforeeee, reason is passions slave and that makes us utterly selfish and that should explain ur delima lol. Homo homini lupus (Man is a wolf to man).

hey doya, did u come to any compromise with your husband btw? i just remember we had that messages fall out i hope things have improved for ya in recent weeks.

hey, a touching post and i hope you can find a place in the world. Btw, i'm an avid philosopher) although unlike urself, a lack of intelligence is a slight problem with some works. I find myself covering the same bs on here) but it just seems to ur lost atm Erik Erikson and Carl jung cover this, erikson in his psycho-stages where you need to find a place for urself in the world and Jung through archetypes/collective unconscious, marriage, children career if they aren't meet, it can turn into neurosis. It could even be external pressures put onto ppl to conform. Trust me on this one, don't listen to your parents, they love you and want the best for you. Yet, its ur life and u should choose the career you want and don't listen to their advice, listen to ur heart. Go into psychology and become a counsellor if thats one of ur passions and love's. I read a book some years ago 'do what you love, the money will follow' its always stayed with me. A life withuot passions, in some respects, isn't worth living, you need a love, passion otherwise life does become absurd and meaningless. So, just search for something you love, even study philosophy at university, if i had the intelligence like urself, i'd be back at university in a flash. Another thing, you say your parents are paying for your degree, wouldn't you be happier going it alone, without the added pressure and expectation and guilt caused by ur parents, if you don't succeed. Thats one area, that was great about my upbringing, my parents expected nothing from me, it was all unconditional, well from my mothers side. As for wanting intelligent conversation, you can always sublimate and just read instead. Like your friend who liked plato and you shared a common interest, thats just a one off, none of my associates have even heard of plato i suspect). I'm not really into Plato or Aristotle although i have a healthy admiration for its literal and poetic style, pure beauty and its hard for it to be surpassed, its just put together with such care with such attention. My favourite book by Plato though, its the gorgias, the temptation to speak. Its just the bollox. I always remember his interlocutor with Callicles- an Athenian politician and where he bursts into the argument with Plato, these are gorgias bad subjects and plato is showing gorgias he's a bad teacher and corrupting the youth of athenans and its the reason for Athens to sparta in the pelopenessian war. Just read my favourite extract a sec ago and read some expert notes on it i'll try and summarise it and give peeps an extract, if they aren't familiar with plato, ill try xD Anyhow, Callicles is an immoralist and has a bad soul. late on in the dialogue; Callicles says 'Is socrates joking about or is he being serious' by just opening his mouth he has already lost the argument as he's stupid, arrogant, dumb especially ignorant through gorgias teachings- to take socrates on is pure naviety to start off with. Socrates 'Callicles, i do try and make sense and i don't want to offend a great person like you, i wasn't trying to offend you, but the difficulty is i'm familiar with your views. What will happen is Callicles, won't believe with Callicles' lol quality. Callicles then comes forward with a great speech "a good man is a happy man, he gets beyond the boundaries and beyond everyone else, i have a love for power, i want a good life. Socrates, you want to give up philosophy, its for kids. If you continue with philosophy, your have no money, ppl can take you to court, ppl can kill you and take advantage of you" he basically just praises immorality over justice. Socrates then goes after him) it has symbols here towards the state, as Callicles is the image of the political athenian, where he treats the mass as means to an end of furthering himself. The corrupt politian, which is evident all around the world today, even- very much in line with marx and explotation of the labour force(proletariat) for capital= profit. With plato, u have to see the greater picture, to appreciate it fully. Socrates says 'do u really want to live this life, to exceed the ambitions which you can never achieve, isn't it like a leaky bucket, your never be satified- isnt it better to have a small bucket, which you can fill and where you can satisfy your needs and be happy?' it goes on though and he gets Callicles into a pass, where Callicles starts contradicing himself; pleasure-good same things, dont u realise any evil pleasures, he starts becoming uncomfortable. It isnt it clear that pleasure is the same as good and as he starts losing, he then starts insulting socratesin disgust GG. This is the beauty of socractes thoughout as he compares language to mathematics and logic. Once, he starts breaking down the argument through dialectic, he can't really lose, very much like bertrand russell and wittgenstein and their works on logic and science and how language is full of contradictions and is senseless, obviously shakesphere exploits this aswell. What in a sense, i learnt from socrates, is i know nothing, truth doesn't exist, although socractes would have us believe otherwise, in light of the world of the forms, it exists, yet we can't grasp it, its beyond our sense perception as displayed in the myth of the cave- its mere metaphysical- only the gods know the true world. You even see this in science, where we cant find a complete law of physics. This was socrates search through-out the republic-for truth, justice, knowledge, wisdom and the right thought and revealing athenians stupidity, ignorance and arrogance. Its stood the test of time and still applies today, more so than ever. You should read schomahauer, nietzsche especially, freud, jung, camu, sartre if u havent, these are my favourite philosophers, although i'm aware i might mis-intrepret them) Nietzsche can match plato's writing posse, yet for me he sees the world for what it is. Even freud said 'he understood humanity, better than anyone else' plus he makes many predictions, which become reality in the 20th century and he was so original and creative. Plato has an idealistic view of the world, how it should be. Nietzsche, is a realistic, naturistic and isn't surrounded in dogma or one stance towards philsophical questioning. The great attacker) of the herd(masses)christianity and how values, devalue themselves and how the world borders on nihilism with the fall of christianity. sorry i can't give u any concrete advice. I've been down the counsellor route and i wasn't impressed at all. Everyone is different and for me, i found some direction through the great minds of world history. lol my posts r getting longer^^ don't delete this one, even if its !"£"$, its taken me a good 20mins.

I'm positive, if it was a scientific fact and that blacks on average were a good 2inches larger, then it would come into effect) From my experience of having tiny * * * *, women certainly correlate good sex with a large penis and its just priceless in a relationship. I've had many negative comments about size in the past. Plus, at times i've seen the look of disappointment on a girl's face, the look says it all) plus few return calls after having intercourse with a girl, unlike my friends. It does cause some paranoia and insecurity and its almost impossible to avoid. So, yep if blacks were much larger, women would move towards them for good sex. For me, a large penis would priceless) i'd love to enter any relationship feelings completely secure in my goods, but it wasn't meant to be. Actually, i'd take a decent size penis over winning the lottery, its totally priceless. As wealth, is all about acquiring women, a huge * * * * and the confidence it breeds, would do that alone. A good friend has been blessed by zeus or maybe eros) and he's so confident around women and every experience must boast his confidence and women are always chasing him for return dates, its all quite amusing. I detect some envy xD i even observed, a few months, he slept with a young girl where he works, next thing he's telling about me quite a few women hitting on him, just offering him sex. Obviously, she has discussed his endowned with her work colleagues) could be a coincidence though. I remember when we both started out, we were equally successful, i was completely ignorant at the time. Yet, my confidence has been completely drained over the yrs and his has gone through the roof. A few years ago, he was sleeping with three different women, lucky * * * *. No resentment though(a little) if i was in his shoes, i'd do the same. If you've been lucky in life, then make the most of it. its about about confidence. I believe, penis size is the most important thing for men where self-esteem is concerned and women. Many large men, probably wouldn't even be aware of the confidence boost. Confidence is key. Just look at the celebrity homevideos of the womanisers, tommy lee, rick soloman and colin farrell their all packing downstairs and ozze confidence, even my buddy is the same. All in line with behavourism and the work of bandura(anticipations), the environment makes you.

Yea, completely normal. You can sublimate and turn you sexual drives towards masterbation, but this doesn't fill you archetype fully, its 2nd rate. Everyone just has a drive towards reproduction from birth and you can't get away from it, the girl who said you should turn towards god and reason, rationality. Well, if you want an unhappy life then its an option. Repressing drives, which all religion does can make unhappy. Religion is all about thou shalt not, it doesn't exactly enhance life. Plus for me ur will, passion, unconscious, r a prior to ur conscious reason and rationality these r secondary in the psyche. The ego is over-rated. Your will is the most powerful force in your soul. btw, i can relate with the rage and pressure building up. Its just like an energy force, something freud called libido. Like anger it just builds and builds. So, have fun, meet them drives and the neurosis should slowly dwindel- even if it means visiting a few prostitues on occasion, if you comfortable with it. I remember reading a fully story about sublimation, where some celibate priests were collecting pornography magazines and having a meeting about them in church and saying 'look at this digust, filth' etc. When without them consciously knowing it was their sexual drives leaking out, in sublimated ways- it was impossible for them to repress them fully- they just came out in other avenues.

Just doing it with enthusiasm and enjoyment, goes along way. Even, some dirty talk aha. For me, technique is secondary to these things, as i get more turned on by the girls attitude, than her actual skills as sex is all mental. I'd say quite a firm grip, alternate between hand and mouth, or use both mixing it up. Use your tongue alot etc.. lick the head then shaft. But, remember every now and again to talk dirty, trust me on this one also try and take as much in ur mouth if poss. Even some noises ahhah like hmmm to make it appear like ur enjoying urself. Overall, you can't really go wrong. From a subjective stance, fast strokes with urgency is nice, so keep a nice rhythm. Speed over slow strokes, but thats just me- you can mix it up...but more speed than slowness. I think that pretty much covers it. I'd say 90% of the time, you want to be stroking or rubbing it with ur hand or mouth with just a few licks, tongues thrown in. jesus, didn't realise i could comment on a blow job so much, also teasing is very enjoyable. Say going really fast, then stopping and looking into his eyes and using ur tongue. Lasty eye-contact and he'll be in heaven. Actually, any blow job is well received so i can't see any problems. Have fun.

You say hes sincere, lovely, never disrespectful. I ain't being patronising(well a little) but would you class those qualities in a cheater? I feel your being naive, just because someone pays you compliments and seems genuine, it doesn't mean they actually are ) i can almost make women perceive me how ever i want, its just acting and it isn't particularly difficult. He's just putting on a persona and a front as he wants to get inot your knickers, fair play to him he's living life to the max. Its upto u, if you want some fun, go ahead as he's obviously interested. but, as ppl have said, i wouldn't anticipate a relationship with him, as you couldn't trust him. Once a cheater, always a cheater! people rarely ever change.

Of course looks matter, usually ppl who aren;'t very attractive themselves like to believe otherwise, as it can become quite depressing. I do believe that actions, speak louder than words. I tell myself i go for girls for their personality, yet how come they need something physically attractive about them in the first place, for me to show some interest. Its all wrapped up in morality and the culture and how you'd expected to behave, a type of poliltical corrective, it probably originates from religion, where your supposed love another person's soul and which avoids the sexual aspect, physical. There r many types of love, from eros, phyllia etc its all individualistic. Its just that ppl want to see themselves as good and won't aloud themselves to view the evil,well so called 'bad' side of their nature(societies ideal). This is very much in line, with freudian theory and his IT, ego and superego. Where your superego which involves morality of ur parents, culture and which restricts what comes into ur consciousness(well truths) and represses those which ur superego perceives as not being upto ur ego ideal of urself(ideals of the world, culture, good, basically morals, ethnics). This can apply to attractiveness, where you block out ur true motives saying looks dont matter, evn i do this, as its percieved as weak and shallow and bad. As kant said 'your never really know your true motives, no matter how hard to try to discover them- all that matters is the right action'. Although this is more morality based, but also stands up to other motives aswell. I don't know what gets my juices following where women r involved, well not fully and i'll never know to what extend looks matter. In the case of women, i can only be myself and do my best. If that isn't good enough, then so be it. This is a pointless exercise ahh its such a complex area, even a good book who struggle to cover it. For sex alone; attractive matters. Relationships, lions share is personality. Although, you need some attraction to get into a relationship in the first place. So if your ugly, your screwed big time. We all have strong egoisms, were shallow, selfish just get on with it, that my attitude. At, the heart were nothing but a bunch of animals and probably pigs is a godo analogy ) irrationality rules reason and the unconscious , rules the conscious. lol i have a cynical view of humanity. You only have to look at wars or say politics and how capitalism pissed all over socialism and communism(equality) as it taps into people's selfishness, greed there isn't much altruism in humanity. Its all very much darwin and the survival of the fittest and that also means the best looking, should help u prosper. A personality isn't difficult to achieve, its a skill and an art, you have full control of it. btw, im of reasonable attractiveness ) so i ain't being bitter in the slightest, yet i still have a pessimistic worldview and that even ventures into physical attractiveness. Even, if i looked like brad pitt, i'd still have a laughable attitude towards myself and the world.

its interesting, as i've matured i can only be interested in girls that show me some interest. I need a girl to give me something back, like pleasant conversation, flirting etc. If a girl shows absolutely no interest in u, how can u find her attractive? Its like last yr, i meet a nice girl in work and i checked her out and thought she was attractive. But, it wasn't until we started talking and flirting with each other, that i started to fancy her. I know many women, who show absolutely no interest in me and i find it a turn off. Well, this girl in work started dating another guy and thereforeeee didn't really take note of me. I still thought she was nice etc, but moved on. I dont see how you can fancy a girl, who has no interest in you. Unless, you put all your values into the beauty of women and not their personalites. opps just read grand's post and repeated her points. I'm in agreement^^

I only have an inferiority complex due to having a tiny penis as its a fact about me. Most things are subjective and its easy to turn negatives into positives etc and we have it down to a fine art through projection, denial, repression and so on. Well, as nietzsche would say 'a transevaluation of values' I'd recommend reading some John Paul Satre and especially 'being for others' and his play 'last exit' basically you can't escape other ppl's opinions and they basically form most of your self-identity. Last exit is a quality play which shows three ppl in hell and how they only have each other to form opinions bout themselves and how they can only count on each other for some self-identity. I haven't really achieved much in my life, but i don't really feel inferior in the slightest, dont ask me why ahh. Maybe through reason and rationality, obviously other peeps opinions matter, but i don't worry excessively about them. I tyr and live an individual life to the best i can. Like a good friend of mine is a cambridge grad and earns 100k a yr, yet i don't feel in awe of him or lacking in anyway. Even though, im aware he's more intelligent and achieved alot me than i ever will. i guess, i see it as a positive that he sees me as a good friend, and i have somethign to offer in return and can hold intellectual conversations with him, even though hes a mensa member and well read. Once again, im turning negatives into positives, but most of life is pre-determined anyhow. If i was super intelligent, didnt have dyslexia or say had a bigger * * * *, i'd probably be leading a different lifestyle- its just pure fate and you don't really have much control- i just try and accept it. I just go with the flow and accept things and my weaknesses. You can only make the best out of ur situation. I feel aristotle sums it up well 'be the most excellent you can be given ur virtures' and he even says at one point 'if your ugly you can't lead a completely fulfilled life. So very true, mostly your life is down to good fortune mostly at birth ur upbringing, culture, period you were born, opportunies, intelligence, appearance etc. Hard-work and a positive outlook can only take you so far.

Why don't you take charge of the situation and ask him out? i'm confident he won't be offended and then the balls in you court. I'm guilty of not asking ppl out, as i'd prefer it if women asked me out(stupid) but that way i know they are really interested in me. If you like him that much, why don't you just casually suggest going for a drink and a chat sometime? whats the worse he can say. Oh sorry, its not for me- or i've got a girlfriend. I feel if you don't ask him out, it will be a missed opportunity on your behalf. In the past i've missed out on many girls not due to shyness, but a lack of confidence. I knew they were interested, yet i had too much pride to ask them out. Certain women, i look back with great regret as in what if's? especially a girl last yr in work, who i got on with very well and i had too much pride to ask her out- then she left and i never saw her again. I still regret it now and seems so silly, on the grand scale of things. You only live once, u may aswell live ur life to the max and take risks. Its something i'm trying to incorporate into my personality.

annie24, you aint portraying ppl in a very favourable light eheh. So, if you have a small penis, your hoping you have enough others things going for you(love= wealth, good looks, personality) to make up for the crappy sex. That ain't going to do the guys ego's much good ) btw darling, the 50k a yr your earning is a good enough substitute for the diabolical sex. But, its so very ture of the nature of love, relationships. I feel the ulimate ego boast for men is being able to satisfy their lady sexually, not earning 100k a year. Talk about the lottery of genetics. I feel a large penis is priceless for any man, the confidence and self-esteem if would breed. No hang ups, no rejections sexually, all very helpful towards a blokes ego and fulfilling those irrational drives and instincts which lead towards happiness. If your small, you can't really have relationships based on sex alone, which i wouldn't mind xD aka one night stands or flings etc. I'm small, but i have 200lbs behind it, which gives me an extra inch or two hah the motion of the ocean lol but the motion is better with a thick, juicy one )

its like shes2smart said, you've changed inner outlook which has probably changed you body language and ur now happier, more self secure and women, well ppl in general find u more attractive. although, i dont. But, if i was to go to the mail and make eye contact and smile at many women, i'd have more success and seem more approachable than if i looked at the floor etc. In reality, most of the your outlook is pre-determined, i don't give a * * * * if ppl think just trying to become more postive is the way forward. It depends on reactions and ur anticipated reactions off other ppl.. If you've been bullied all you life, then ur see the world in a negative light and vice verus if you are beautiful, intelligent and everyone wants a piece of you, your think ppl are great and wonderful. Its best to see ppl for what they really are and i'll let you find that out for urself

Perhaps because i'm 6ft 3 and 200lbs i don't give my body, height much of a second thought. I just see it as an asset. I have other weaknesses and apart from having a tiny * * * *, i don't really reflect on them too much. I have certain parts of my face i don't really llike, but i look at the big picture and seem to get admiring glances of women, so overall im satisfied with my overall form of the beautiful but i'm certainly no brad pitt. I wouldn't really change any of it. As for being skinny, that never bothered me either. When i was 16, i was only ur weight and i only wanted to gain bulk for sport, not for women. I was just grateful that was slim and not overweight. Some ppl are never satisfied and seek a type of ideal perfection, which few ppl can achieve. It seems like your making a mountain out of a molehill. I could empathise with you, if you said ur only 5ft 1in and its getting u down as its fixed and unchangeable for life and not many women find short men attractive, well especially midgets. But u've got height and your weight isn't fixed and you might be able to gain weight at some point. Just look to the positives man, seriously your tall and skinny say on the scale of beauty its a 6/10 it isnt the end of the world. its llike me becoming disappointed because i haven't got the IQ of Steven Hawkings its totally irrational and ur always be unhappy searching for the unattainable. Hope that makes sense, im in a rush sorry.

Right, im average looking and im grateful for the fact. The grass is always greener applies here. Only become demoralised if something is of high value and your right at the bottom end of the scale. Like the lady above, say you look like woody allen. But, you look fine, from your pic. I'm quietly confident i could pulll many woemn, even though i'm going though a lean spell. I believe my average looks, would be adequate for a good percentage of women and i could talk enough bs to have some success. Being average, aint too bad, it could always be worse. Its all about CONFIDENCE. The only time its difficult to be confident, is if your terrible at something and its factual i.e low IQ etc and it becomes embrassing and humilating- for most ppl it isn't a problem. Looks aren't so important when your looking towards a relationship, friendship is the key and so many others aspects r more important. The only thing i hate about rejection, isn't so much the rejection part, but women feeling they've gained the upper hand on the 'power' side of things and its said that power is more important than asethetics and happiness in some respects. Take world wars, or religious wars ppl r willin to risk their lives for what they believe in or the power of emotions say and putting urself in a elevated position and the satisfaction it gives u. Even sex, is about power in my eyes. Its everywhere from hitler/stalin to inbetween the sheets ahh.

I disagree, maybe u misread my post. It would pointless him losing the weight, if other people didn't exist. So in a sense he isn't doing it for himself, but for other people as he anticipates a better reaction towards him(respect,love) which will thereforeeee improve his self-esteem, confidence and lead to a better lifestyle, more sex, women, friends and overall more HAPPINESS ahh. Feel the love, baby Nobody would care about weight living in a vaccum- well maybe for health reasons xD if you look into people's drives, motives you'd be surprised how much of our lives are influenced by other people, its scarey. They dictate how we live r lives, its quite pathetic- but we can't escape it.

Its fascinating visiting these forums; how relationships are an end in themselves, everything is a means to the end of a mate. The way, everyone seeks status, wealth, influence, power, attractiveness that sexy porche to impress others eheh its like desire, satisfaction, desire and ppl are rarely ever fully contented or happy with their lot- they never arrive at satisfaction there is always something else to achieve. Its like were all destined to be unhappy in someway. For me, it seems pre-determined and its beyond your control to an extend. Its how you visualise the way others perceive you- its not possible to get self-esteem and confidence solely from within youself, as other ppl or the culture go someway to making up ur self identity and inturn the size of ur ego. So you need to go someway to meeting those standards, those you believe which r desirable ur weight being one of them. I suffer from insecurities, confidence, self-esteem issues, even if you lose the weight you might still lack that confidence your seeking- for me it all seems very natural. Every little bit helps though, just keep working and looking to improve yourself. Get on that treadmill -) and then evaluate wether ur weight was central to ur self-esteem, confidence with the ladies. Good Luck!!

The notion of love seems to have died gradually along with religion and its myths and in the western world its all gone rather secular- with a nihilistic stance towards relationships. I admire you for staying away from drinks, drugs your showing an awesome will power- your associates are like a herd of sheep with no individualism, which you have in abundance. Back in the day, family values, marriage, faithfulness were seen in the culture as virtures; not any more, you could say relationships were more special back then. Now, its just a free for all, everyone sleeping around with multiple partners and most relationships lack substance. Were end up with a world of single mums, step-dads and god knows what else- oh yes STD's I'm very much an athiest, but religion in some respects did make the world a better place well ethically wise- now our culture is just decandent and meaningless looking toward science rather than religion for meaning- but science doesn't deal with values, feelings, wants like religion could and its trancendence- something is lacking in the human psyche and were turning into robots. Its almost impossible to disregard the thoughts of others and their beliefs but you can limit them. If a few of your friends call you loser for not taking drugs, drinking, shagging around just laugh off the comments- its merely their subjective opinions and mere BS, lead the life you want to lead- dont follow the crowd- that's what takes real balls and deserves the respect. Peace and good luck laboheme!!

A guy i used to know who'd slept with excess of a 50 women used to say 'confident is key' so very true.

Don't we all use it other. Perhaps he;s looking to use her sexually as a notch on his bed post. You are looking to use her in other ways- which you feel are more morally accepted in society. Or perhaps your wanting to use her sexually yet your unconscious or superego is denying you in believeing its the case- otherwords it might not come upto ur ego ideal. I've been reading too much freud, jung recently lol. I'm no ladies man or womaniser, yet i've observed a few friends who are good with the ladies. They seem to get the balance right, they r neither too aggressive or timid in their approach and they come accross as very genuine even when there motives aren't. Just make sure she knows ur interested; keep looking into her eyes when talking, smile at her accross a room and just slowly get to know her- do it with subtly. This other guy, will probably seem too cheesy, needy and desperate- he should be easy competition unless he's got the look, the skills, the smoothness