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Goldfish6888

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  1. Goldfish6888
    How can you do it? You are never going to let go as long as you hang out together! Can you at least try and not see each other? It appears you are definitely not over him. You still have feelings without a doubt. As long as you see him, you can never get the chance to let go.
  2. Goldfish6888
    It sounds like she is moving on. I hate to say it. My ex also said "let's be friends", but I said "I would find it too hard". So, we are also in NC. But as you've not heard from her at all, I would guess the friendship thing is often put there, because it makes the whole process a lot easier for the dumper. The Dumpee, on the other hand, definitely should not give into the "friends" tag, as it really is just going to hurt them in the long run and not give them a chance to get over the relationship. I would'nt question what she wants, I would ask what you want? I would concentrate on you, rather than her. You are the one that needs to heal, not her. What do you want for yourself in two months time, six months time? Stop thinking about her. Hope I've been helpful.
  3. Goldfish6888
    I'm in the depression stage. But well it keeps changing. I felt so strong at the start. Really like it was all supposed to happen. But I think the realisation has seeped in. The realisation that this is THE END. The words from him "have a nice life..." just keep reverberatin in my head. My last words to him were "take care". I guess I'm just a carer and sensitive person and he was chipping away at those lovely qualities one by one. If I had of stayed with him, God knows what kind of a psycho I would have ended up as. I just cried and cried last night and held myself and just fell asleep with tears on my pillow. Not for him - for me and all the energy I had put into it. Well here we are another day.....and the sun is shining.
  4. Goldfish6888
    Here is the email I received from my ex.....he just acted like a teenager. From: x To: y whatever... i've done nothing to warrant this treatment from you...what's pathetic is that you never once sought out any sort of explanation from me, not that there's any need for one... have a nice life... I guess this is not the way you speak with someone you love or loved....Last night I went home and cried my eyes out. I'm so lonely and feel such a disaster with men. I'm about ready to cry all the time. Its five weeks now and i'm still not over this....in fact its got worse as time went on. The fact he sent such a retard email aswell hurt. I responded as follow: Hi We are mature human beings, let's not get into a mud slinging match. You are right you have "done nothing" to warrant this behaviour from me except be dishonest about that profile on Lavalife. I wanted to see past that and just think it was a "one off". But your last e-mail about ex girlfriends and emails and stuff going on ( when I have been seeing NO ONE) since I met you last Sept until this June (when I started dating again) because I truly cared for you. I found it hard to even look at someone else - the sad thing is I've not even kissed anyone since you in Feb. I hope you can have the courage to be honest to yourself, thats all. Take care Anyway thats the end of it. Please let it be. I just feel so down and lonely and again like I did five weeks ago - the wound has been re-opened....
  5. Goldfish6888
    Thanks for all the advice!!! Big cheer!!! XoXO
  6. Goldfish6888
    I'm sorry you are down. It is tough. A break- up is really similar to a death and you are mourning it. I know how you feel as I broke up with my ex from Chicago and I remembered really happy days on Navy Pier only 2 months previous, so my visit was a sad one. Now, I can go to Chicago and I can enjoy the pubs and architecture and the wonderful atmosphere. Just see this trip as a break...something to get your mind off things. But you don't also have to go unless you really want to - you could explain to your friend how it will remind you of your ex. Time is a healer and you just have to know, one day, one day you will look back on this and be happy again. Often visualising yourself as happy, helps..... I am going through a break up myself and everytime I see the roadsign for his old home town I'm reminded of him.. When someone plays a significant part in their life, they do stay there for a while. Its not like a tap you can turn on and off. Just be patient. Try to have a positive outlook. Things could be worse. I wish you the best of luck!
  7. Goldfish6888
    Sorry Joyce too late I sent an e-mail just to END things on a graceful note...and he came back with stories about an ex saying disparaging things about him....and that he wants and needs me as a FRIEND! I mean I zillions of friends, why would I want another one???? Why the hell did I send it? How stupid was I.....two steps forward one step back....AH...A.H.....A.H Why oh why did I send it....why.....Anyway I sent a subsequent one saying I was sorry I sent it and that I didn't feel we could be friends as trust is No. 1 for me and I don't trust him. Any more emails from him and I won't even read them...I will just DELETE...
  8. Goldfish6888
    Kellbell says exactly what I said......actions speak louder than words...anyone can say "I appreciate you," but someone who does something that says this like driving 5 hours to see you because she misses you......says soooo much more.
  9. Goldfish6888
    Thanks everyone! XOXOX. Still feel weak and the pull towards him has been strong this week, but thats because he is playing on my soft sensitive and forgiving spot! Anyway, I think I will post here everytime I feel like I'm going to send that EMAIL!!!!
  10. Goldfish6888
    Joyce I know it's tough. My friend split up with her ex over commitment issues - he said he didn't think he could EVER commit to her. She proceeded with NC. He wanted to remain "friends!" but she said "no way". 10 months passed - they did accidentally bump into each other - she was cool calm and happy ( a facade because as soon as he left, she burst into tears) But she remained STRONG! He had tried to contact her with a long distance phonecall from Chile (He is a professional sportsman and quite well known - so similar to your circumstances - in that every time she saw a match being played - she saw him on TV!) but she never took the call. She just took the chance to move on. 10 months later, he sent her a birthday card. Then he texted her mobile saying he wanted to meet. Well it's one year later and I'm bridesmaid at their wedding in August. She said to me those 10 months were hard. But she remained strong. She took the chance to try and get over him. On talking to him, over those 10 months, he found he was moving back towards her. He compared other girls with her. He found the freedom he wanted wasn't what he really wanted. There is a lesson in this story. That IF the feelings between you were genuine - let love go and it will come back to you. If it doesnt come back to you - it was not genuine and thereforeeee WORTH LETTING GO! I hope this helps......(I'm also going through my own heartbreak aswell!) Hugs Goldfish
  11. Goldfish6888
    Well you deserve someone who does appreciate you!! You sound like a great guy! Believe me even us 30 something's suffer from crossroads! She is taking on a lot, but you need to give it space. She will come around. But don't be holding your breath for her. I know its hard, I've just gone through a break up myself and I would like to date, but I'm finding it hard. Some days I find it okay and others i find harder. If she is pushing you away - respect that - you can't force someone to be with you - unfortunately. Another things I've learnt from my break up - is look at someone's actions....they speak louder than words.........I should've done that and I would not be in this mess.... X
  12. Goldfish6888
    I don't know..... i can't delete it. Its evidence that I'm still on his mind.... Sad I know. I just wish these feelings would go away.
  13. Goldfish6888
    Long distances are hard in the long run. Though 5 hours away is not too bad. I had a long distance of 3500 miles away. I think maybe she doesn't know what she wants. You were good to her - don't beat yourself up over this! You are better than all the guys she dated put together! Maybe she is really busy and maybe the long distance is getting to her. But she may realise as time goes on that the grass is not greener without you. In the meantime, i would date other people and just have a little Summer fun. Easier said than done, but you deserve someone who appreciates you. Lotsa hugs
  14. Goldfish6888
    Hi guys I've posted quite a lot of entries about a long distance email relationship with my ex. He sent me an email of " I want and need you in my life" last friday and its eating away at my inbox. Despite the fact he's deceiptful and has not been honest with me - its killing me not to reply to it. It sits there...I look at it.....I close it......all day long this pattern.. I'm finding it so hard to maintain the NC. I know its for me to get over all the hurt...but today is like.....every minute I write an email and I save it into my draftbox to stop me sending it. Help, help! I've been doing so well. I've felt so strong. Today I guess I just feel lonely and unwanted and taken advantage of....and all those miserable things. I find myself in tears...every so often. I guess I just want all the hurt to go away magically. I don't feel angry at him - just sad that it has not worked out.
  15. Goldfish6888
    Thanks Date Doc!!! I don't think I can do it....but I'll keep that one on the "back burner"..... I guess I need to let my wounds from my previous relationship heal........I'm jumping ahead of myself......
  16. Goldfish6888
    Thats easier said than done. But seriously try and not text your ex. I've been doing the NC thing now for about a month. He's sent me two emails...one trying to get back in with me and the other basically saying he could not imagine a life without not talking to me again. But I'm remaining strong on the NC. I feel much stronger and if I talk to him....it will bring me back where I started. It's like a game of snakes and ladders (do you know this one?) You throw the dice....move forward a few spaces, but if you get a snake you have to slide down a couple of space back. Two steps forward and one step back........ Try to keep moving forward. Thats what I'm trying to do...even though the email he sent me at 5am this morning, is burning a hole in my inbox... Kia kaha Goldfish
  17. Goldfish6888
    Okay, guys a further update on this. He has emailed me and told me he needs me in his life - whether I am dating someone else or not. At the very least, he needs me as a friend. He said you have no idea of the impact you have made on me. Oh God its so hard to maintain the NC. I've been fighting myself not to email him yesterday.....I had to keep saving them in my draft inbox...... Help me guys, please.......I really do miss him. He has been part of my life for 1.5 years.....Its not in my heart to ignore someone - even people I'm fighting with.....Why, oh why, does he have to play with me. I'm getting over him and looking to greener pastures....but I feel so bad on the NC..........
  18. Goldfish6888
    I also dated a boy who used to cut himself like this too. He was clinically depressed. What I mean by this is there was a chemical imbalance in his brain that required mediciation to counteract this. Are you taking medication as well as seeing a counsellor? Perhaps you should tell the counsellor that counselling alone is not working. Anger is an expression of fear. So that is why you are angry. Can you call the counsellor now? By the fact you have written this on this site, means you do know what you have done is wrong and you are taking steps to prevent you doing so again. Everytime, you feel like cutting, why not write a sentence here? Like post here - whatever you are feeling that makes you want to cut. PLEASE TRY AND NOT CUT YOURSELF anymore. You deserve better than this. You don't deserve to be cut. Lots of hugs. talks to your counsellor please!
  19. Goldfish6888
    Why don't you just suggest a little time apart rather than a full break? Sounds like you are tired and a little down in yourself or drained? You might need to refuel your batteries. Take a little "you time" methinks. Don't do anything rash.....tho..... Why not suggest she go to acupuncture for her headaches. I know some people who suffer from migraines and they literally can't move. And no, it is not her fault, but if it's effecting her social life (and relationship with you), she really needs to do something about it. Enjoy your weekend!
  20. Goldfish6888
    Hi dont mean to be the spoil sport of the party here....but I would be careful about getting into an intimate relationship toooooo quickly. You 15 and he is 18.......still quite young.... You guys are only dating a month - not long enough to really know someone. I know its different for everyone....and I'm not trying to be a prude here - but anyway, sometimes it is better to wait until you really know and really really like someone...before you start the sex. Then the act of sex can be AMAZING..... Why have a quick thrill? Do you really know this guy yet? I just want to make sure you don't get hurt! Not trying to spoil your fun or get all judgemental!!!! Honestly! Just giving you an opinion on the other side of the coin.....take it from an old and grey 32 year old...ah sure what do I know?!!!! Goldfish X
  21. Goldfish6888
    how do I do that Date DR? I'm hopeless at being forthright about things. We have never really spent time together except in work..... One day, we did go for coffee after work and we ended up on "kind of a date"! I had about 4 glasses of wine, he was driving so he had none....but we did hang out until 11 o' clock ish. He seemed keen to keep the evening going and said I was cool to hang out with....easygoing etc.... I kind of caught him in the corner of my eye, looking at me last week at a work do, but I really don't want to mess this up. You understand, we work 6 feet away from each other!! Help! Help! I have to find an excuse to meet up with him......b4 someone else nabs him!
  22. Goldfish6888
    I'm sorry to hear it did not work out. You will feel this way for a little while. That deep pitted feeling of sickness in your stomach, that you are going to throw up. That foggy feeling through your eyes - like everything is in slow motion. You see people laughing and you feel like they should'nt be. Some days you will feel strong, other days you will keel over. Unfortunately that is the healing process. Do not look at her email account anymore! I was doing the same with my ex. Leave IT ALONE. Why stick the daggers back into your heart? What she does now, does not concern you. What does concern you - is you. Now is the time to be selfish. Do the things you want. Visit the places you want. Take that vacation you always wanted. Do a course. Follow your dream. See this as a branch in the road where you can walk up the hill ( it's going to be hard) or you can roll down it and end at the bottom. Believe me, having lost what I thought was a soulmate.....things do feel the same. Then you meet someone else and all thoughts of the old love are out the window. THINGS WILL GET BETTER. BE ASSURED of THAT. Don't be hard on yourself. You did nothing wrong. You took a risk.. on falling in love. It did not work out. Someone better is out there for you......You will find your strength again. Lots of hugs. Goldfish
  23. Goldfish6888
    Thanks a million.
  24. Goldfish6888
    Thanks a million guys......I really appreciate all the time you spend writing your thoughts to me. I hope I can also give something back to you sometime! I know that he has emailed me last week and i just can't delete the email.....everytime I look at his name...it stirs me up. But I feel strong that I haven't given him true closure. He defo does not deserve it! Btw, I have a new post on about someone new ( I think I like and its not long distance!!) who I've known for about six months...and I think I like him....will someone respond to it!!! Thanks again! You all ROCK!
  25. Goldfish6888
    I agree PRSOV. Thats what I was trying to say.... Was he looking into your eyes or was his tone of voice just kidding around?
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