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Goldfish6888

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  1. Goldfish6888
    The guy sounds extremely immature. He said He'd call and he DIDN'T! Fair play to you - you made other plans - you didn't hang around on the call. He then twisted the situation around entirely to dispel blame on him for NOT calling and making you look like the bad person, by being peed off etc..... This guy sounds like a game player. Sounds exactly like my ex. Its hard to tell from your post what previous dates and his history were like. Does he let you down on plans much? Why does your date night have to SUIT HIM (Wednesdays)? These are just questions I'm wondering about from your post. Don't call this guy again. Definitely. As soon as you stop calling him - I'm sure he will be back for more. Sounds like a little game he likes to play. I just think he is a) insecure b) likes to suit himself (has he travelled to your city to visit you at all?) If you can give us more details, it might help... Keep the faith.
  2. Goldfish6888
    Wow!! Are you free?!!! Nice to see Chivalry ALIVE and WELL! Gentlemen Enotaloners TAKE NOTE! Hugs G Fish
  3. Goldfish6888
    Nick You WILL find someone who will appreciate you! Honestly. Its tough being the underdog. I know this. Your feelings went deep for her and thats why sleeping around with someone else does not feel right. You will eventually find someone who you will want this connection with. In the meantime, its you, you you. Remember that. Let us know how you are getting on and if you need to post here. Please do.....we'll try and respond and HELP!! (if we can) Take care and remember just try and have fun. G FISH
  4. Goldfish6888
    people are basically evil........ NO mike - I disagree- People are human. We are not robots. We make mistakes. We feel remorce (and hopefully) some of us learn. And I'm sorry to hear that you feel loneliness "is hilarious" and feeling down is "hilarious" and having "guilt" for what you've done is hilarious and actually writing it down and "admitting" it is hilarious.
  5. Goldfish6888
    Nick. This is tough as NC won't work for you here at all. But you can adopt a form of NC, where you are NOT THERE FOR HER ANYMORE. You said "I guess as she just wants to be "her, her, her" at the momeand now I think it's time for you to be "me, me, me". Last week I was saying to her how I did miss my best friend, and she did reply how she missed it too but I need to cool it as in she feels it can't really happen, although she wants it to. She just doesn't want to hurt me again, as she keeps saying to others and has said to me she cares for me so much. I think she hasn't had the opportunity to miss what she had. The only way, that is that is possible is to stop being "her friend". Stop saying to her things you would have said to her - in confidence. Stop being there for her. Its you, you, you now. Let her miss you. Let her come to regret her decision and maybe, just maybe you will have moved on. You can still be around someone but not be their friend, not confide in them, not confide in her friends. Be more quiet about what you do, don't tell her....keep the mystery. Be friendly and smile and say hello, but drop back. If you are in her company, keep your distance - chat to someone else. I work with someone and I still have feelings for him. I talk to him every day. But now, he knows nothing about what I do, where I go.....how I am.....When he made the decision no relationship. Thats what he is now getting NO RELATIONSHIP! Try it out for a while. It will wean you off her slowly but surely......... She just doesn't want to hurt me again, as she keeps saying to others and has said to me she cares for me so much. Don't give her the chance to let her hurt you again!
  6. Goldfish6888
    Hmmm. Its hard to still be friends. Can you handle it? I would need space for sure. If you were "to play" it - why would you - unless you want to get back with her. It looks like there is no closure here. You still want her in the back of your head. You are still going through that grey area where all the feelings are not dead and gone yet. I guess you have to ask yourself the question - as long as you stay in contact - you will not be getting over her? You probably won't move on. I made this mistake myself for about 3 years after the end of a relationship. I just couldn't move on. Think about what you want for yourself. Could you cut the ties here (at least for a while?) Is it possible? And what do you want? Do you want to meet someone else or do you want to know news about your ex? I guess I'm trying to be devils advocate and ask you some questions....to see how you feel and where you should go from here???
  7. Goldfish6888
    Seriously getting back to myself. Thanks to everyone for putting up with me. It is tough, when you have fallen for someone over a 6 month period, they encourage you and then reject you, not great for the ego or self confidence. So thats my excuse!
  8. Goldfish6888
    Batya you are right. I've reread my post and it is really sour graped!! I feel much better today....Its fine....I can deal with the rejection. Last week I couldn't. I'm feeling more myself today. I feel positive and ready to face the future!! Actually I'm not angry with men at all! In fact I love them! They are great....and I can't wait to meet my Prince charming!! HE WAS NOT THAT INTO ME!!!! hehehehehe.....I can say it....AND I can DEAL WITH IT!! Thanks everyone...hugs....g fish. Happily working at my desk and GETTING OVER IT!
  9. Goldfish6888
    Celestial Fire. Don't lose heart. There has to be someone out there! I feel exactly the same as you!!! You know what you are probably way too threatening for most of these men..... I also have been losing hope!! But try not to....we have our health......we are independent, we can go out when with like, with who with like...we are FREE to travel the world if we want. I guess lets try and look at SINGLEDOM as a positive thing!!! Lots of hugs...and keep me posted on your dating!! Good Luck Goldfish
  10. Goldfish6888
    I think the essense here with online/Ad/personals relationships is you have to proceed with caution! I've been burnt a good few times by them. It's easy to say "I love you " and be in love with the dream of love. But the reality of it -when you are physically there - is probably too much for these men. They're either not ready for it - or when they get you - they don't want you (another sign of immaturity) I suppose count yourself lucky - that these guys weren't "man enough" for you or to put it another way "you are too much woman" for them. I think maybe stop looking in personals or overseas I Stopped the online thing!) Try the bar approach (sit at the bar on a Sunday afternoon when its not busy with a newspaper)...or my friend recently suggested shopping in a male shop and saying to a cute guy......I'm buying this for my bro's birthday- you're the same size...would you mind trying it on for me? She's had a lot of success with that! I don't think the problem is you - though think long and hard before you fly to LOndon or anywhere to see a man. Let them do the flying - even if they did pay for your ticket..... They have to work for your love! Make them work. I know your frustration as I also have it!! There has to be some good men left! Please God!
  11. Goldfish6888
    Don't mean to get personal on you Sheyda but does this man happen to live in Toronto? Sounds like someone I once knew and happily cut out of my life.
  12. Goldfish6888
    She cant dump her Fallout - its her SISTER!!! She is family!
  13. Goldfish6888
    well since this thread Ive posted a continuation on this - which is workplace relationships......and basically he was not interested in a relationship with me because we work together. After months and months of hanging out together - I just came straight out and said I really like you and needless to say - he's not into a relationship. At least I know! Read the thread further if you want to see how it all went - which was all pearshaped!
  14. Goldfish6888
    I wouldn't call him. This guy doesn't sound like he is on the level at all. My gut feeling is he's not being honest. You are right - you deserve someone who WILL call you because you are an amazing woman and he can't wait to see you again - not someone who a) could be married or committed elsewhere b) is doing a lot of dating with a lot of girls he met in the personals. You may not be the only one. I found this out the hard way with someone I met online. The nicest, sweetest guy I thought I'd met - opened all the doors, carried my bags - did everything right except the most important thing of all - be honest. I know its tough out there. I've got rejected a couple of times this year and it get hard to keep picking yourself up. But there HAS to be someone out there for you. I think the same for myself. Kick him to the curb or He'd better have a good excuse!! Maybe this time he went for open brain surgery!!? lol ( not meaning to be demeaning here about surgery - this is just a joke!) Hugs Gfish
  15. Goldfish6888
    She may need some counselling on her lying. Why does she do it? It's a habit that has been formed by years of doing it - she will need a professional to help her break this habit. Get her to seek some help and its not going to help her win friends through life and is also tough for relationships.
  16. Goldfish6888
    RedQueen I think that when the right one comes along - it won't be hard work...you'll just love hanging out with them! I bet you - that you are gonna fall and fall hard!!!(one day!) Hmmm. must admit hate being single.......- maybe I'm in love with romance. But I guess I love that hop skip and jump an excited feeling when you've met someone new who you really like! No alcohol, no drug can make you feel the excitement!
  17. Goldfish6888
    As all the other posters have said - these is your foundation years - it can either be called a tough time or an exciting time - depends on how you look at it! Sometimes its about your state of mind. I read a really good book there last year when I was really down (it's called change your life in 7 days - by Paul McKenna). It does actually make you use a lot of visualisation techniques and it also makes you listen to a hypnotic CD every night before you go to sleep. (actually the CD is really relaxing). So if you can get your hands on this book - and just try out the techniques for 7 days....just to see if it helps.... It helped me immensely. He trains quite a lot of sportsmen and businessmen and helps people get out of phobias etc... These early 20's are tough. A chapter in the book is how you look on life.....here are some examples of how you can look on things positively or Negatively: Negative Positive It is a big bad world out there OR its an exciting adventure..... Life is hard or life is an learning experience Relationships are tough or relationships are a great way to get to know people Honestly take it from a 30 something - you have a lot to look forward to! Gosh, I wish I was in my early 20's again! You have the world at your feet. So many choices.....(I know it feels like tooo much). You may not even decide you want to enter the engineering world! I did a business degree and ended up as a teacher!!! The fact you have posted here - means you want to change something. The way you are living your life at present is bothering you....and getting you down. I hope some of the posts here have helped you look at your situation and hopefully see ways you can change your life. Change has to come from you - things don't just happen to you - you have to make them happen! Hugs and tlc GFish
  18. Goldfish6888
    Just an update on this. Well I feel better today. A bit more positive. I had a chat with my mom and she has said - look just get out there an enjoy yourself - you've had a bit of rejection - but don't let anyone knock you down or knock the spirit out of you - life is too short to be down....Good advice don't you think??? Thanks to everyone who posted. Hugs and kisses....as this has been a tough week. I've started to look at things outside of myself - like J is always out on the road, so he would never have weekends free (that would have driven me mad). He has two kids (which I wouldn't mind - as I really love kids - but he has to travel a long 5 hour drive there and back to pick them up for the weekend). He has a lot of baggage and I don't think is over his marriage breaking up yet. I would've had to deal with that. Okay - now this one is really not fair - as I'm not superficial - but I'm just trying to make myself feel better....he's bald.....and doesn't take care of his body.....(look I liked him no matter what!! Whether he had two left feet!!). The Truth now as I've had time to think - I don't even know if he was being sincere - when he gave me his private phone number to ring anytime of the night (why would a work colleague do this?). Why did he drive me to my car (as he said just so he could keep me with him longer). Not things you say to a colleague who you have NO INTENTIONS of a relationship with. There were a lot of things that just didn't add up. Now I'm not sure even if I like him anymore - even as a colleague. When someone puts on an act like that - its hard to know where the act ends and where the real person starts. One step back to recovery. I'm getting out there....and I'm going to date again and just have fun!!! Life is too short for misery and misery takes soooo much energy.....
  19. Goldfish6888
    I don't know. I don't want to know if he moves to the same country as me. Basically he doesn't deserve to be in my life anymore.... I dread picking up the phone and getting a call from him when he arrives....I'm treading carefully. Its been tough this year - two big let downs from two people I thought were the ONE. Its never easy
  20. Goldfish6888
    Thanks Whoops....I know you are going through a tough time at the moment. Its funny some posters here - they give you such good advice and they themselves are going through hard times! If only we could give ourselves good advice....
  21. Goldfish6888
    Thanks I'm thatGirl. It is true - I can't even bear now to watch this thread as I'm afraid what people will post about me now - when none of it is what I really deserve. Are you from Indy by any chance? I was there this year for a few days...Friendly welcoming people. Hugs also
  22. Goldfish6888
    If this guys is too good to be true...he could be a serial online dater. I got out of a relationship with a guy who is like this.....by about the 4th email in....he was moving to my country!!! Of course, after 6 months of emailing - I met him....and I fell for him...not realising there were about 30 other women who he was pulling the same lines for.....I dated him for over a year.....and found out the hard way - what a player he is! If you think someone is not being sincere - you are usually right.....Trust your gut. Proceed with caution
  23. Goldfish6888
    Hey true.....we like the older guys in Europe ;-)
  24. Goldfish6888
    He can't take rejection which is a serious sign of his insecurities.... Glad to see some Paddy's on-line at ENO!!! Slainte ;-) One I picked up from an Irish bar!!
  25. Goldfish6888
    Red Queen and spugly Fuglet. IT WAS JUST ONE NIGHT>...there is no more....there has been no more.....can people not just understand.....we only had ONE NIGHT and I felt bad about it and posted here. THIS IS NOT AN AFFAIR. Spugly Fuglet I know it was wrong - one night of wrongness and I'm not going to DO IT AGAIN. Goodness - I am just wondering if people really even bothered reading my post properly. THanks for posting - as every post is someone taking time out for me and to give advice. But in this instance, I've realised what I did (for one night only) am not in contact, nor have been in contact with him and it is what it is now a one night stand that I feel bad over....
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