dizziest

With me, id be able to keep NC as long as I knew she still wanted to contact me but as soon as she stopped trying to get in touch I would miss it and thats when its hardest to keep NC. Thats what happened to me, I was the dumpee and I was lied too its been 6 months since I last saw her but about 1 month since I told her to stop getting in touch/trying to get me back and after 1 month I now miss her and want to hear from her... We both just need to be strong and keep NC.

I personally wouldn't, dont give him the power.... let him come to you

My roommate is my landlord and a strickt Muslim, he lives upstairs, i live downstairs. We both have separate bathroom kitchen lounge etc etc. Maybe I picked the wrong kind of place to move in too! Signed a 6 month lease now!! I wanted my own space for a batchelor pad, a cool masculin place where I can make a candlelit supper (im a bit of a chef) and wow the women of my dreams! Gotta meet her first lol, ive been thinking about speed dating, anyone tried it?

Thank you for all your suggestions, My job is a little alienating, secluded really, I work with the public mainly but im not shy. I haven't been there long and as Whitefang said it is all very daunting. I have met a few people and occasionally text them about the soccer results or something funny but they are not really the sort of people I can make great friends with, not my age range etc. If I join a social club or similar I will feel like such a loser turning up on my own like a billy no friends! I feel bad enough asking for advice about this! I guess thats just my own stupid ideas about what I consider "normal" and I should get over it. I feel like im screaming inside, im so lonely when I wake up and leave work. I go back to my familys house on weekends and my sister will say "hows it going" and ill just say "fine" or talk about a new piece of furniture ive bought. When I talk about being lonely to anyone they just brush it off and say stuff like "youll be fine bla bla bla". If anyone knows Edwards Nortons character in the film "fight club", where he is at work buying clothes and furniture trying to be what everyone thinks young guys should be like... well take away the insomnia and the schizophrenia and youve got how I feel. This isnt what I expected to feel like at 21!

Hi, I've just moved to London, I work in the city centre and live in the outskirts. My family and friends live on the south coast (of England) as thats where im from. I have moved into a flat and everything in my life is going well... apart from my social life! I don't know how to just make friends or maybe a new girlfriend! I'm 21 and id say fairly attractive as in I make an effort with my hair, nice aftershave, clothes etc but apart from colleagues (that arn't really my kind of friends!) I dont know how to just start meeting people. Any advice? sorry for posting this here if its off topic as I couldnt find a forum for this...

If it were me, i'd call it a day. She is mucking you around imo. If she wanted to seriously make things better she would do more than the occasional phone call. I'd be strong and end it cleanly but its your choice.

I think you need to accept that it happened. That you met him, that he cheated, all of it. Once you have accepted it then you can move past it. Forgiveness is not an option. You will not forgive him ever ever. You are better off without him.

He is still with her romantically, i would put my house on it. Whatever you do I dont think you'll be happy with the decision, you need to decide which is best. I hope things go well with the Cancer. Try not to depend on him as he could let you down, then you will feel alot worse. If it were me, I would split from him in an instant but I don't have the feelings you have. I hope you get better soon.

I am abit younger than him but I can promise you, buying womens panties and looking at child porn is not a thing "normal" guys do. That ex of yours needs help imo.

My biggest problem is being able to tell when a girl likes me or not. I am quite good looking and confident but its still really tough to know when its right to start flirting properly and ask someone out. I am british so that might explain it! Making someone wait is good, if they lose interest then you know they are not genuine but dont let them wait too long unless your waiting for mr. perfect!

Ignore this post... lol

I felt like you a few months ago. I used to go for long walks and they did make me feel a bit better i guess. No contact is the key... focus on you. It does get better I promise.

This is the first time since the august that it was me that wanted to say goodbye and not be together and I feel so much stronger. I know I might miss her a bit but I know it will just be the attention i miss. I want someone that respects me, she said I am insecure but reading some other peoples posts makes me think the things she said and did to me made me feel insecure. I will keep coming to these boards cos it makes me feel lucky that Im not going thru some of the horrible things other people are. I know that sounds selfish but back in november I was going through similar but I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and now Im stronger because of it, I managed to say no!! She is not good enough for me. There is hope for everyone.

I use the gym, made myself look better, buying clothes, reflect on what you love about your life. If you find yourself thinking about her then think about all the bad things. She sounds like trouble anyway.

Ive never looked at it like that, the more I think about it the stronger I feel. I just want to know what it was in her that I thought I loved cos I havent found it since...

The 2nd poster is 100% right, she made you feel insecure. You gotta keep no contact and tell yourself your better off.

I will try to make this as brief as possible. I met my ex in may 2002. We had a very turbulant relationship that finally came to an end in December 2003 tho we had 1 night in March 04 then I didnt see her for 18 months. She got back in touch in august last year saying how unhappy she was with her current boyfriend etc. and after a few weeks of texting and flirting she told me she was leaving him. I met up with her and after a few days we were back together (madness I know, i should of known better). I had alot to make up for and I had been living with guilt of the way I treated her in our first relationship for a long time and thought that I could make up for it. Anyway after a few weeks we had our first argument and she ran off back to her ex saying "I hadnt changed, the past etc etc". After a couple of days she text me again saying she had made a huge mistake and could we try again. I really stupidly let her come see me and we slowly started up again. A month passed and she told me she was gonna go stay with her aunt and cousins for a few days (which happens to be quite close to him) and for the first 4 nights her phone was off which made me think something was going on and I asked her after the 4 days if she had been seeing him. She said "no but the fact u asked me shows im still insecure" etc. Long story short she ended it that day then spent the next month telling me she hadnt seen him and she was making plans to come back down and start a job(she had been having interviews) and we should meet up and take it slow. It was a lie, she had starting seeing him after she ended it (I asked her aunt). This was beggining of november. After I found out she went back to him fully and blew me off. I spent the next month getting over it and started seeing other women, we weren't in contact much, we stopped talking altogether in jan but saturday just gone she text me saying "I still love you, ive missed you more than anything I wish things were different". I said "you wish things were different thats why you havent done jack to make it better" we spent the last few days talking, she had left the guy again cos he spent valentines day (and her b day) at a football game. She wanted to meet up with me and I didnt let her, I said if you are serious about leaving him and seeing about us again then youll let the dust settle for at least a few weeks then we can talk. Today she told me shes going upto her aunts cos she has lost her independence going back to her mums house and her job is up there but It was obvious to me that she hates being alone and wanted to use me to get back at him; thou i am sure she has very deep feelings about me. I think she loves us both. Am I gonna start suffering again? I know ive done the right thing but I dont wanna start regretting my decision cos even tho im not in love with her anymore, she is the only girl ive ever loved. Any support or advice would be great cos I know im gonna start feeling bad soon. (I havent given all the details but you get the idea)