Brooding_Goddess

And while I am pondering here... my man's on a 26-day Switzerland-France-Spain-Amsterdam bike trip... Heh heh... And no, I dont give a flying feck about the hot spainards!

So, whats the eventual outcome on the Bike Rally Trip? Did hope123 tag along? Gone on a vac with girlfriends? Or simply stayed home?

And to onelittleladybug - I am not sure if you ever have to handle the big Ex issue, esply one that hangs around and butt in once every 3-6 months. One who calls you a nutcase and hangs up on you when you tried calling your own boyfriend. I am cold and unfeeling ONLY to her - she does not deserve my sympathy at all. When I was sick with cancer and she asked my boyfriend out, she says it is ok for me to look after myself becos I have been alone all these years!

I dont have Yes or No answer to that. I simply don't like getting upset over relationship issues as I can get very edgy that turns in a complete melt-down. I don't think I am possessive or controlling but if he cannot understand why I am angry (with all that war between her and me for the past few years) then its probably in my best interest to move on. I did not start the thread to ask if I should stay or go. I wanted to know if I was being petty, unreasonable or angry for a wrong cause. Sometimes when you are too caught up with your emotions, you need a 3rd party to stand back and tell you what they see.

I wish some day everyone in this world can have a tool where they take minimal calculated risk when they enter a relationship!

I have heard this somewhere too - where the girlfriends knows the boyfriend is cheating and confronts him, he denies saying the other girl has a crush on him, and when the woman asked him not to have any form of contact with the latter, he refuses. She knows they are still together but she won't leave the relationship. I can't say I have no sympathy for women being cheated on but if they know the men they are dealing with and have no intention to "repent" or stay faithful why continue the relationship, hurt yourself and blame the men? Indeed the men are at fault but when you can't see it yourself and continue to be blinded then you are at fault (to yourself) as well.

1. I think my boyfriend is a good guy but he hasn't slept over or slept late nights here even when I was critically ill at one time undergoing chemo! 2. I think Rabican has a point - she can't make her problem my problem. I don't need to know what has happened to her or her bloody family. The fact that she is an EX and we have had so many "disputes" mean she and I need to be OUT of each others' lives. She is not suppose to have anymore influence over our relationship. 3. I know I sounded very cold and unfeeling when I could not express how sorry I am for her loss. But I am even sorrier that I could not, because of who the sister is. If today someone whom you hate a lot experiences a loss or grief, would you be able to smile and say "let me help you" by offering what matters a lot to you? 4. I had thrown back the same question back at my boyfriend - maybe I should start spending more time with EXes or guy friends who are interested becos there is no longer a line drawn - he really could not give me an answer

I am curious - is there anyone out there who's been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder? If so, what are the medicine(s) being prescribed to you and how does your partner deals with your mania / depression "switch"? Even more importantly, is there a way to recover without taking psychotic pills or tranquiliser?

I am a bit of a cot case occasionally and has attempted suicide a couple of times when I was suffering from a bout of chronic depression. I dont think people decide to die at the very minute they are about to kill themselves. Something must have happened that they see no way out and that death is the only solution because they fear.

I tried reverse psychology - thinking & believing what a great partner I am and that there is no reason for him to flee because he would be missing so much qualities in me. Sometimes I suspect it stems from low self-esteem, and how good we feel about ourselves at the moment the question pops up.

Ignorance sometimes is bliss. You can turn a blind eye to the lie but not necessarily turn a dead heart to it. I speak from experience. I even lost my memory for a couple of months after overdose of tranquilisers but lately after a shock it all came back to me. Amazing how the brain stores and perceives information sometimes.

We have seen a counsellor before - actually its my psychiatrist - after I cut myself continuously for 2 days. I have been diagnosed with chronic depression and bipolar disorder. He told me this morning that right now he feels for her and I am selfish to think of myself becos nobody has to lose a close kin this way. He also mentioned that perhaps I dont value life the same he does so I feel nothing for a lost life. My message to him - that boy chose to kill himself, what more can I add thats been said? He has also offered to come over and cook dinner tonight, and to watch a movie together tomorrow afternoon. I told him maybe we need a cool-off period, NC for a month. He is not sure what that means and asked if he's been dumped. He also added that he cant handle it when I have "melt-down period" and that pushes him away from me. I am not sure I can do anything more right now. I dont want to leave him but at the same time I am too confused for my own good.

I am so effing useless - I cried when we spoke in person! He is saying that he did what a decent human being would in the last 24 hours, and repeat that he would do the same for any friend. He actually thinks I am overreacting and asked if I need to see my shrink or take any anti-depressant! He also thinks that it might be a mistake after all to tell me about it as I clearly didnt take it down well, and he thought he could share that with me in the strictest confidence so I wouldnt wonder why he's a little weird in this 1-2 days - bull * * * * I think. He is at work today, but no idea if he is gonna leave work early just so as to accompany her till the flight takes off at 2355hr pacific time. Pathetic I say.

Firstly welcome to the Boyfriend On Bike Trip Again club Secondly, dont tell him you will fly down with gf(s). Offer to meet him half way or after his "official" bike trip. Some outings are strictly Blokes Only and it doesnt make sense for a woman to try to hijack it. Suggest a week together following the bike trip somewhere nearby. Even better, get interested "hooning" down the country with him. My boyfriend went on a bike trip to provence last year. He is doing another Europe bike trip this May. But we will do a bike trip together next year via San francisco - Seattle - Vancouver!

I am curious - what if you wake up tomorrow morning and starts mourning over this relationship all over again?