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Apprentice (3/14)

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  1. Yeah its almost 4 am here, I cant sleep, cant get his stupid self off my mind. Im so much better off though, just have to keep reminding myself that!
  2. Wow and ive also like you been told i have "problems." That came about after I snooped and found out he was lying! Ive been called crazy to, and thats why he broke up with me. I dont have problems, i just have problems dealing with a liar and a cheat, but not anymore, the girls in his life now can deal with it!
  3. Wow are situation is A LOT alike....He blames me to! I know he is cheating and lying, yet he blames me for snooping. He denies hes seeing anyone, but I had clear cut evidence that he was. After every fight no matter what, he makes it my fault. Like right now, in his mind, Im the one at fault for the argument today. Thats how they justify what they are doing, they make our fault, so they can go on and feel like they did no wrong. Then we sit and question what we did wrong, and if your like me you even find yourself saying sorry. Its so sad, but Im going to hold strong, we both are, we have to! Your going to be a great mom, and he will have to be a dad, but he doesn't have to be your boyfriend. We deserve better, let the other girls have them, they will just cheat on them as well!
  4. choco your right we are in a very similiar situation. Except my ex blaimed me for our breakup b/c i didn't trust him, said he couldn't live under a microscope. Made it my fault, but he was the one emailing, calling, texting, and hanging out with other girls behind my back. I wasn't the one cheating, i was just the one who was catching him all the time. No one deserves this, I know its tough b/c your pregnant, but he wont change. I thought my ex would change, but he hasn't, and he wont. Hes never been faithful to anyone, hes not about to start now. Your boyfriend is clearly cheating, you dont deserve that. Stick with me, get out now, and lets do this NC things together lol.
  5. Thank you choco...its going to be so very tough. The hardest is imagining him with another girl, and also the fact the he can move on over night while i sit here and cry and be upset. Hes not spending one minute upset or hurt, hes busy spending time with new girls. Im taking it one day at a time. Heres to day 1, i have to make this happen. The longest him and I have had NC is a week. I dont deserve to hurt like this, I didn't do anything wrong, but I know in his mind he believes I did. Who can be so cold hearted, I would have never thought him, guess I was wrong! Im for sure going to be here a lot trying to get support and make it through the day. Its late and im still up b/c I cant sleep, just keep thinking about him. Wish I had a time machine to fwd to a month from now, I know it will be so much better then.
  6. Eva your right and thanks, anytime i think to contact him, i will imagining him laughing at me. I mean needless to say thats pretty much what he did tonight when I called. I sent the texts at 11 pm, so Im counting today at 3 am as day 1! I have to make this happen, i never deserved to be treated this way. Thanks so much for helping me put things in perspective.
  7. yeah i guess...either way clearly I thought different. He knew that, I just have to move on.
  8. i failed, i guess b/c i wanted reasoning, but why did i think texting him would give me reasoning. I texted him saying "you have hurt me so much" "just tell me why you let friday and saturday happen." "I pray that one day you understand...I hope these other girls are worth it." Yeah I texted 3 times, with no response. I hate him so much. I promised myself at midnight that I would make this day one and never speak to him again. Hes so horrible to me, one day he loves me, and the next this. Im so hurt..this is rough
  9. Thanks guys so much, I know I didn't do anything wrong, except care way way to much for this guy. 2 years gone, but im young i have a lifetime ahead of me. Its going to be tough, but I HAVE to make it through. He will never know im hurting or upset, for all he knows im ok, and ive moved on!
  10. Im just happy and proud that I haven't called or texted since we talked around 6. Im just so hurt and dont understand why he can be happy and having fun, even after putting me through this pain. He doesn't care, its like hes so cold hearted, that he can hang up the phone and move on to this other girl. Just hurts, feel like I wasted 2 years of my life.
  11. yeah your right, he doesn't care. When i told him tonight to never tell me he loved me again...he said "Ok and I will remember you said that." Why does it matter, b/c clearly he doesn't care about me, not to do this to me. I know in my heart everything he said was nothing more then a mind game. Hes playing two girls right now, and I got caught up in it, b/c I believed what he was saying. I know I will be better off, and be happier, and not have to worry anymore. It just sucks imagining him with someone else, but then again regardless if we were together or not, he was still with someone else behind my back. So i guess either way its no different.
  12. Thanks, its so tough right now. I talk a good game, but im so upset that he played me for an idiot, and in his mind im the bad person b/c I called and got mad that he was with someone else. He doesn't think I have that right b/c we aren't together, but I thought different after the weekend.
  13. Thanks guys, I know if I call Im just letting him know that he can walk all over me and im still there. He was so hateful, and mean, when just last night he was telling me how he loved me, and wanted to work on us, b/c it was just to hard to be without me. Then this today, not to mention sunday night and then yesterday evening. I found out hes dating two other girls, atleast thats what he told me. I need to move past this...he will never be faithful to anyone, he hasn't ever, and that should have been a huge warning sign to me. I just wish I could forward to month from now, skip all this pain, and just be proud that I made it through a month. I look forward to the day I can be happy again. I never would have thought he would have said the things he did tonight. He said I never ask what your doing, or who you are with. He said i can do whatever I want, and hang out with whomever I want. He said are we done with this argument for tonight, I said no, we done with this forever. Now I just need to take control and stick to what Ive said!!!
  14. I want to start NC as of well 6, i haven't texted or called no matter how mad and upset I am. He made me feel like craip, made me look stupid, and acted like he was so much better then me. I dont deserve this, I didn't do anything but believe him. Anyone have any advice on how to keep NC, and not let your mind play games on you. Like I dont want to talk to him now, but by morning my mind starts missing the good times, and so on.
  15. So tonight may be the worst night of my life, or so it feels like it. My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago, but this weekend started talking again, we slept together both days, and he said he wanted to work on us, and said he loved me. Then sunday night i call him and he is with another girl at his house, clearly she stayed over because it was 2am. Then yesterday and today the same thing, hes with another girl. I called him tonight crying and upset, and as hes sitting infront of another girl at his house, he says im single and can do and hang out with whomever I please. You can to, go date, and have fun. I asked what about the weekend? what about working on us? He didn't say anything, just said he was having fun and I should do the same. That was at 6 this evening and thats the last ive spoke to him. I told him to never tell me he loved me again, b/c clearly he didn't mean it. If he did why would he do this to me, why would he lie about working on us?
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