confusedashell

Finished. We spoke a little. Its done. She isnt interested in a relationship whatsoever. And no, there is no one else. I believe her with this. She wants to focus on her studies. Shes too nervous to be with me incase I get angry with her for something. Doesnt want to have to feel like she has to "report" to anyone about what she is doing. Doesnt want to live with anyone. Doesnt want to try and fix anything, says its too late for that. Its just done. Her feelings, romantic feelings of love died off the last month. Still loves me and cares for me. But no romantic feelings for me and doesnt want to have them either because its too much trouble. Still, no divorce. Whatever that means. maybe down the road we fix our relationship and get back together. but not now. Now we need to sort out how to do with our child. We're from different countries. I will move back to the UK in the next month. I am not able or willing to stay here and I'm not sure if she will be willing to move to the UK. But she has to. Nothing else works best for all three of us. She said she needs to think about things a little more. Talk to her brother and friend about all this. So we will talk about what to do tomorrow. Six years of marriage down the tubs without so much as a struggle.

If my son was here, I'd already have left. I have to wait until he gets back and I dont care what happens, I'm gone. About there being someone else. This is a real tricky one. In some ways, I could think yeah prehaps. Yesteday she could have stayed and went to work but she didnt. She wanted to go. She didnt go to work today, she called in sick and the phone at her fathers if off the hook (ok she does that all the time here when she sleeps). That is worrying. But at the same time, she hasnt ever lied to me about anything and she isnt a liar to anyone, so I have to take her word for it until I either find out myself or she tells me. IU asked her right now, calmy and told her I want the truth if there was someone else. She swore on her son that there wasnt. I dont want to push that. Either way, if everything she is saying to me is true and at face value, I still dont want this anymore. She used me, pure and simple. Now she is showing me no respect whatsoever. So thats that. When my son comes back, we'rew gone. We'll figure out what to do with him. But I'm not fighting this anymore.

My wife should read your posts. Shes acting is real hast to finish us. One week its all fine, then one night its over. No problems that TALKING wouldnt have fixed. well, she aint out just yet..but pretty much. I cant do anymore.

Mate, she doesnt have a 'kin clue what she wants and neither do I. It seems now that she is almost OBSESSED with spending time alone. She says theres always someone around her, at work, her family, me, my son..someone. That she just wants to be able to sit in peace and quite and not deal with anything. She has her priorities all messed up.

Anyone who wants to read my story its here and in the "Relationship Conflicts" forum. But heres the update. My missus got back from her trip with our son (hes still here for another few days) and we didnt speak much but Well I spoke briefly to her. She came back. Kissed me hugged me. We had sex. dont know why. but we did. She told me she wanted to stay at her fathers place now (its free for the week) because she has had so many people around her that shes desperate for sometime alone to herself. I said ok. I understand. Even though I'm pissed she wouldnt just sit down and talk to me. I'm really irritated that she dropped this on me the day before leaving for his trip with our son and then comes back and goes away again. She knows I'm confused. I told her I dont know if I'm coming or going. I dont know what to think about all this. She said she doesnt know anything either. That right now she is so confused with everything she cant think. One second she wants to finish this, the next we will get back together. She doesnt know whats happening. I said I cant stay here and wonder what the hell is going on with us. I todl her packing this all in for a few problems is insane. She said she just doesnt want a relationship now, doesnt want to think about someone else at all. I was pissed as hell but said nothing and didnt react to it. I told her that I think me and my son will go to the UK for a month when he gets back and after that come back up for a few days. We do this until christmas when she comes to the UK to spend xmas there. I todl her that by then I need an answer of what she wants. To be with me or not. She said she needed to think about it all and that she cant right now. She said she is as confused about all this as I am. But now she considers this finished. Doesnt want a divorce though. She acts like a mixture of hot and cold. Not there but not out either. I dont know what to think. I told her we need to sort this out so she said that she will call me tomorrow and will come here on wednesday to talk. I think its pretty much just over. End of story. Shes maybe just afraid to give me a straight answer because she is having doubts. Kissing me all the time is a mystery to me, hugging me, rubbing my face. holding my hand. dont know what to think. I just need an answer, either way. She says things have been so hard for her the last sex months and she cant deal with it and right now, isnt even interested to fix it. Later she said, maybe later. Right now all she can think of is time alone. I askedabout if we can sleep around, dont know why, but I needed to know and thought that might make things clearer for me, but it was just as vague. She said shes not even thinking about that, thats not what this is about. I said ok, but if you see someone who is showing interest would you have sex? she said thats not what this is about, I dont want to have to feel liek I have to answer to anyone now, i dont want to have to deal with you asking me if I did this or that. sorry to rant. I just thought Id let you know of the update. In all honesty, there wasnt much talking. More her just stressing out and wanting to go to her fathers to be alone. Its over aint it?

The problem I have is how long to wait. Like I said, if it wasnt for the fact that 1. from different countries and most importantly 2. had a child together, this would be FAR easier to just walk away from. Maybe for her too, who knows. But we only have ONE life and I'm not getting younger so I cant wait forever. And I cant stay in somekind of limbo not knowing how she feels or if we will get back together. I just have to start moving forward, thinking of a future without her in it as my wife (will have to know her for the rest of my life regardless though) and get used to the idea that she will eventually meet someone else. However hard that is, its just the reality now. I cant waste my time being bitter or down about it. Sooner or later, like you said, we'll meet women who are putting in as much into a relationship as we are. That'll be great! I'm in no rush for this, but it will happen sooner or later. I just have this horrible feeling that my wife will do all this and either sleep with someone or tell me later she doesnt want it. Then two years later everything has changed and we missed our chance or something. I guess I have the idea that once your married you do EVERYTHING to make it work and you divorce if one of you is in danger, cheated or just has ZERO feelings left. But that you dont just bail the first sign of trouble. She sees it another way. She has always being pretty self centred, esp when it comes to what she wants. I've always compromised with her so we BOTH get somewhere. Shes hardly ever done that for me.

With regards to your situation. I know its almost irrestable to grab the bull by the horns and just go for it. I feel like you do. I jus wonder how long is enough to put your/my life on hold for someone who may never ever come around. The problem is all the mixed signals. They dont say they want out, but they dont say they want in either. I think it was a good move to send that sms. She knows you're still there. I just dont understand what she's waiting for. Either she wants to be with you or not. It's been sometime now, surly she should have some at least respect for you to tell you "lets give it a go" or "I dont want to do this". Its totally unfair. I've been thinking of that in regard to my situation. How long would I sit on the sidelines waiting for her. In all honesty I know I wont ever stop loving her, but after sometime I would just start to move on. If we got back together later then great. she should understand that I couldnt sit alone doing nothing forever. With my wife, the emotional is a BIG part of this, if not THE part. She says it didnt feel like I loved for a long time. Thats totally untrue but I dont think its reason to end with me. Just TELL me that you need me to pay more attention. I want to! I dont want to smother you either. Its hard to know what someone else is thinking unless they tell you. She thinks everytime I work I've cheated on her. She says it in a joking way but with a shaky voice. Somethings she is totally paranoid about! About the divorce thing. Its something thats really bothering me when she said "its just a piece of paper". Is that what she thinks us being married is? Its hard to believe. Well like I said, i todl her that to me it wasnt just a piece of paper. The reply back to that was as indifferent as you could get: "nah, we shouldnt worry about that too much. it'll just mean a lot of hassle if we get back together". unf'ingbelievable

I guess people can feel like they're not IN love for a variety of reasons. The relationship just becoming stale with not much excitment. Taking the other person for granted. They're always around. Not working on a relationship. Resentment over something. Stress and the daily chores of life can make you feel down. Other priorities. or you can just forget. But of course if they are the reasons then the feeling just needs to be dusted off. I've felt like that about my wife and marriage a few times. That I dont love her, am not attracted to her and dont even know why I'm in the relationship. It always happened that after a little bit I realised that was just everything else around me talking. I felt my wife and the marriage was the cause of every problem I had. That my wife wasnt that supportive of me. Then one day shed do something and I'd smile to myself realising how much I do just love that woman!

thats what I thought too. I guess people can change a lot, particularly if youre young when you get together. I think maybe you're solid tastes in what you are looking for come in your mid 20s.

I agree. sounds like his way of saying "goodbye" to their whole relationship. I could easily see myself doing the same thing if I do split with my wife and she gets someone else. At least, once I have moved past it all. I guess its also a nice way to tell your EX "I dont care what you do anymore..later!"

Not sure really. She gets home tonight so I guess this is either the make or break. When she called yesterday and I asked if she wanted me to come and meet her she said thatd shed call me tomorrow with the time she'd be in since she didnt know excatly. Well, she didnt call so I called her mother at the summer place and she said out son had gotten sick, they couldnt get a taxi so it was a mad rush at the end and she probably just didnt have time to call. I thought to myself that is really odd that she wouldnt have called me, she always would. She doesnt have a mobile so... So I figured I wouldnt go in. But an hour later she called me from the station and told me what time she'd be coming in and I asked if she really wanted me to come and meet her and she said yes. So I will. Its been 6 days now since we seen eachother and since she talked about this. So I'm making a last effort to show her that I was and still am in love with her and that I am trying to fix things. I made her a card with some nice words, got her some bubble bath things, candles all over the bathroom, a big bunch of flowers. Maybe its totally stupid but I just have to try. I guess I'm hoping she comes, sees me and sees how much I love her and just forgets all the s.hit thats been happening. If this doesnt work, I cant do anymore. Well if she is still steadfast into us finishing. I just dont understand why, if she wants out, she would have called me twice a day since she left. There isnt any reason (except one day) for her to call me. Had the shoe been on the other foot, I wouldnt have called her. I would have tried to make her see that I was breaking that. I may have called her once or twice to see how she was doing, but I wouldnt have called that much. She ended the call today with I love you. Who knows what the hell that means. The very odd thing is that her mother hasnt even brought any of this up! Nothing! I spoke to her twice and both times we spoke about her daughter and me as normal and our son. Today we spoke for a good 15mins and she didnt mention it once. I find that REALLY odd. When i said to my mother that we were probably finishing she did bring it up the next time she called and spoke to my missus. I think thats natural: my daughters marriage is finishing, they have a child, I should say something. I dont know. I guess I just dont know how she really feels or where I stand. Maybe I have a hard time accepting that this is over and am reading too much into her words and actions, I dont know. But I told her that I dont like toact like this and its got to stop. She told me that if I stopped theres no way in hell we would fix this. WTF? Before she left I was a little joking saying it'll be nice to have some parties while I'm alone and she said yeah you'll probably get some girl and I said, yup, probably. Joking of course. She said "then its really over!". WTF x2!! She told me when she was finishing that she doesnt think the thought of me with another woman bothers her too much. I dont know what to make of that. I dont think thats just something you say. But the week before she came to my job (at a pub) and I was talking to come girl and she came in a kissed me big time. That girl just looked and walked away pretty fast. Who knows mate. If all this is true, she turned off everything that she had for me the last six years within the space of a few weeks. Go figure! In some sense I'm starting to just get used to the idea that we are finished. Who knows, she maybe just really not IN love with me anymore. Not attracted to me anymore. She changed in some way, her likes/dislikes and what she wants from a man has maybe changed. She maybe was satisifed with me and now she just has other ideas about what is attrractive in a man. I dont know. These are all the things running around in my head and they're just hard cold facts. People change, grow, evolve. Cant blame them for that, but I can blame her for not ever trying to fix things. I dont think that your feelings, likes and dislikes change that much and fast in life. I see some of my exs now and again and I still think they are attaractive. My taste in women are always pretty much been the same. Most people I know are like that. But maybe shes different, she liked one type of men before and now likes another. I guess since we're both 27 the odds are stacked against us. I just in all honesty, cant see how things went like this. Problems yes, but problems enough for all this, no.

just end it with your bf, dont see your ex and leave it a few weeks and see what happens. Tell your bf you need sometime to regroup. If he loves you, he'll wait around. Dont wiat tool long though or he could just think its finished from your end and start to move on or else he'll just think you aint being very nice and decide to drop you if you do want to come back. Get some distance and see if it helps. nothing else seems to do the trick for you.

mate, theres no much to say to you that will help. I think you just need to accept that this is over unless she is willing to give it one more try. How old are you both? I know this isnt what you want to hear, and I'm no doctor so its just my opinion, she just isnt there for you like that. Its a reality I may be soon facing myself so I know how hard it is. Its not easy to just move on but she seems to have told you that she really did try with this. She really just nailed it shut with this: She did try, but its not there. It was onbviously not meant to be. And from what you are saying, it wasnt fully there for you either. So maybe chalk it up to a good experience and move on? I know thats easy for me to say sitting here but I'm just trying to be honest with you. It wont be easy for you, but just try to focus on something else for now. I'll probably be doing the same. It wont be easy like I said, but trust me mate, you'll end up meeting someone sooner or later that you WILL feel fully there for and she will feel the same. Chin up!

hah yup. Theres a few. I just think if it gets to the stage where I really do feel like I have to or want to cheat on my wife, then we shouldnt even be together. If nothing worked to fix our relationship, I'd just end it. I dont need to show her disrespect and just be a plain as*hole about it. I think (eh hope) that she would do the same to me. Even if I didnt have any feelings left for her, I wouldnt go onto another girl right away either. I think you owe your ex or whatever, some respect and understand that most likely they are really hurt and upset by everything. I just dont think I could treat someone who I've loved/hated/laughed with/cried with/lived with/slept with/ate with/whatever with for the last six or more years like that, if they havent done anything to deserve it. An ex girlfriend of mine (I was young like 18) was real upset when I ended with her and went to another girl right away (she was 22 and wed only been together a few months so nothing serious) and what she told me at the end of that relationship haunts me to this day haha, she said: "someday, someone will do to you what you've done to me, and I hope it hurts as much as this!". I dont think I'll ever forget that sentence. Maybe scared me into line

Reading all the posts on this section of the forum made me ultra paranoid! I have had PLENLTY of oppturnities to cheat on my wife, I work part time at a popular bar. Lots of good looking women who basically throw themselves at any barman there. Numbers given with the money, the usual. As flattered as I am, I would NEVER EVER cheat on my wife. Yes sometimes I want to kill her and sometimes I wonder why we're together, but I love her and well maybe I'm an idiot and whatever but I'm TOTALLY satisifed with her, even after all this time. We have great sex, regular sex and we are really open about our sex and what we want. Even the times we have been away from eachother for sometime, when I could have easily cheated, I dont. I dont have the interest. I dont want to take the slighest chance of messing things up with my wife. I have one particular friend who has cheated about (and this is no lie) 200 times in the last two years on his long term gf. She dumped him for other reasons (dont think she has a clue about the cheating) but hes all tormented and heartbroken and is desperate to get back with her. I dont know if all this is just hilariously idiotic or just plain bad manners. I dont accept anyones excuses for cheating. Either you're in a relationship or your not. Particularly if its something serious with children, then why do you risk so much for something you just go home and get most likely far better since you have a connection? People, the grass isnt always greener on the other side. Infact from my experience, most people who cheat end up losing the orignal person which they deeply regret and they usually end up losing the person they cheated with. So whats the deal? If you want to mess around, save yourself and the other person a lot of heartache and trouble and just end it. If you're old enough to be getting drunk then you're old enough to take responsibility. I dont ever know anyone thats been THAT drunk that they dont realise what they are doing is wrong. Otherwise, Id see murders everytime I worked at that bar And people who get involved with someone who cheats..how the HELL can you trust someone who got involved with you knowing you were in a commited relationship? They're obviously untrustworthy. And those who have cheated on their partners the same applies. The grounding trust just isnt there. christ, my marriage is pretty much dead. I'm just glad that THIS had nothing to do with it. If my wife cheated on me, no matter how much I love her itd be "adios!". You have shown ZERO respect to me. Proved you dont have any real feelings for me, dont care about the relationship anything more than surface. proved that I'm not enough, that I just dont do. My self esteem would be ruined. You would walk around thinking everything is fine, that you love your wife/husband and they love you, then BAM! its all a lie. That must the WORST feeling in the whole world. I hope I never have to feel like that. I'm not a religious person, I just believe that LOYALITY and HONOUR mean something. TRUST. that is so easily given and once its gone - its gone forever, have no doubts. It'll never be the same. No matter how much you try and prove it. sorry, I just needed to vent that!

heh you know, we we got engaged we set a date and when it got close to that I told her that maybe we should take sometime to make certain this is what we want. She took it badly and said that she was postive. The thing is and what she seems to forget now is that if she does this life doesnt get easier for her. Sure she wont have to worry about having to do dishes for an extra person, or worry that I'm going to make a mess around the apartment, that I havent cleaned, or she wont have to worry that we'll get into an argument. BUT she is going to have full time study at university and she studies Physics and Chemistry. That is a LOT of work, she will have to run a home and take care of a child alone when she has him. Like I said, her parents are divorced and dont get on at all. They both live far enough way and both work full time jobs. They dont and wont be able to help as much as she will need. She says they will and I'm sure for the first two months they will, but they have lives of their own too. Sooner or later they wont be there too much. So sooner or later she will either get someone else or run back to me, both for the wrong reasons. She isnt a weak person, she isnt a bad person, but that is a LOT of work for one person to handle. I dont think its about going out and having fun, but more not having to deal with everything a relationship is, the work of it. yeah I've already thought about it like you said. I'm not sure if I will fall out of love with her, but I think I could get used to not having her around and will it will be tough to move back up here again (if that was the case) with all whats happening now in the back of my mind. I wont be able to fully trust her. mate, I hear you. I feel the same. That by getting another woman, not matter how trival I might consider it, and even if I thought "my marriage is dead, time to move on", I think that i would feel like that is the final nail in the coffin for her. Who knows. Maybe shed be happy about it. I just dont know where we stand now. I really dont want another woman, regardless of what happens with us, for sometime. I just want to focus on me and my son. We're two hopeless cases mate!

Thats the problem alright. That she will say that is why she wants to do it. To live life without having to worry about someone else. Still, I think if she means half of what she is saying then she should show me some respect. Well if she doesnt tell me she is cheating then I do believe her. She has always been upfront about things. It may not sound like it haha. But she has. She hasnt ever cheated on me. I know she did cheat on one earlier bf and owned up after a day or two. That is one of the reasons she is afraid of this relationship. According to her, until a few weeks ago she never used look at another man and think about how attractibe he was. She says she could see who was attractive and that was it. She says now she is worried if she does want to do something. That makes no sense to me. Either you want to have sex with other men or you dont. I know what women are attractive and I guess i sometimes would think "yup, if i wasnt with someone then sure", but I wouldnt even get CLOSE to doing ANYTHING with a women while I have my wife. I'm TOTALLY satisifed with her. Guess that says something about her satisfaction with me eh? About her living alone. Well I have asked. The reply I got is a little shakey but its something like this: Shes always needed it. Yes she has mentioned it a few times over the last six or so years that she wished she had had that time to live alone without a relationship. But I thought either she had grown out of that or else those 3 months I was in the UK was enough. Obviously I was wrong. She says that the way I've been the last six months gave her terrible self esteem issues (doesnt look that way to me), shes she has problems thinking she is always doing wrong and that she always feels nervous around me that I was snap and get angry over something. Like I said, she spent our last money on a night out recently and I didnt bat an eye lid. She said she didnt realise she spent that much, i accepted it and told her I didnt get paid until the monday (this was friday). Ok, when I was in my deepest depression I was VERY irritable and lashed out, not always at her but myself too. She knows I am getting on top of my depression the last four weeks, so I dont know. Guess she has some trust issue with me. She says shes uncertain of her feelings for me too after all that. So she needs to evulate it all. Valid reasons for not being pleased with me, but for breaking up our family and us? I dont think so. We just need to talk and be more supportive of one another. She needs to see that I wasnt well (she understands that now I think - finally) and I need to show her how much I love her and want to be with her. Yeah for the family sake and especially our child, I have no real choice but to go along with this if I want to fix it. I think she knows how I feel about the whole thing. But shes determined to do it anyway. In all honesty, I think its just the end of our relationship. Maybe later she will want to get back together, but that will be tough to do. I wont just up root everything again to move back to her. I did that once and stayed like that for 4 years. I need to take care of my life too. The only way would be for her to move to me and that would take almost a miracle for her to do. She is in control. Maybe always has been. She knows what she wants and that is her studies. No one will come between that. When we were pregnant with our son she was 10 hours away from aborting because she was scared about her studies. She changed her mind the last minute and made me promise that it wouldnt get in the way of that. I told her that if we worked for it together it wouldnt have to. Well, I feel like the only one who made the move that matters was me. She just gained, in almost everyway poissible. How would your ex act if she found out you were seeing someone else? Could it just make her think "well, ok..thats that" or would she see what she is missing more clearly and made make her mind up??

up to you but Id say no. why not enjoy yourselves? just dont expect anything afterwards

Thats for sure in the start of a relationship. But that fizzles after awhile when you get down to the nitty gritty of daily life and cohabitation i think. I know a lot of women find this one hard to understand. At least, in my experience and from reading this forums

sounds very strange alright. And shes got no one else? Doesnt seem like shes fully out of the picture then?? Might be worth giving it a go and putting yourself on the line asking if you can start to just go out, nothing serious, just a few dinner&movie kind of things. If theres nothing there, then ok, you can move on, but if there is then you know? Maybe that could work? Of course she has to want to come along..of course I dont know the whole situation but sounds like she would after a few attempts? dont need to lose any dignity over it. I suggested something similar to my wife. I just get the feeling she is not out yet. She called again tonight and well I asked her if my son misses me and she said yeah. I just said it out of habit and asked her if she missed me and she said yeah she did. so maybe there is hope. But she is still adament that we live apart. After she gets back tomorrow I'll leave it all alone but on tuesday evening we have to sit down and sort this out once and for all. In some sense I'm scared to death of what could happen in this if she doesnt think along the lines I hope she will. That we stay together as a married couple and she still has her break (to be honest I dont mind having a few months at home), but we're NOT available to sleep around. And we set somekind of time limit on this. She'll probably saying I'm forcing her to do something and thats excatly why she wants it, but she has got to be fair on this. I think i'm being EXCEPTIONALLY understanding considering the circumstances. Will she how she reacts. Got any ideas how to handle that talk??

so they went out and had a little too much fun? so what!? does this happen all the time? if so then ok, thats something that needs to be checked, but if this is a once off then so be it. They're human, they need to have fun, unwind..let loose. I had two glasses of wine a few weeks ago at some dinner party, my wife told me I better not even think about asking for beer, so I took the wine. Two glasses. The next day I had a hang over equal to 30 beers, 20 shots of jäger and some drinks. sometimes you just cant control how your body acts, esp if you not used to drinking.

You're wife isnt out the door yet. Women are odd creatures. They wont say things directly, they talk in riddles half the time. I dont think she is ready to go just yet, but this could be the last cry for help from her. You've both obviously had a hell of a lot of uppheval and stress the last few years. That can manifest itself on your marriage and make people think the marriage/spouse is the problem for it all. I'm no doctor, but thats how I see it. You gotta show her how loved and wanted she is. Dont listen to people saying its over, move on. You have a family together. If she really wanted out, she'd be gone by now. She'd have just left. Sounds like all the upheval has just taken over. You need to get back in control of your marriage. Maybe start by doing some spontaneous and nice things for your wife, like make her some buddle bath, candles all the dressings. get rid of the kids for the weekend, when shes done with the bath have some dinner made, wine...go away for the weekend somewhere nice. I truly believe that so many marriages just die because one person feels like its all gone, the other just either accepts the situation and doesnt do anything or else wallows in self pity and despair. If you want the marriage to work then make it work. Let her see you making the effort, let her know you love her and want to fix your problems. No one has cheated, theres no big personality problems. Its just lack of martial maintance. She will come around. I dont think shes out of there yet, sounds more like what the other poster said, shes testing you, crying out for help and attention. And worst case, after all that she wants to leave. Then you can walk away knowing you did you bit when it mattered. You saw the problem and tried to fix it as best you could. If she doesnt come and want to fix it, then so be it. You did your bit.

mate, relax! You're young. You must have known in your heart that this wasnt a "forever" thing anyway. I dont mean to sound patronising, honestly, but at your age just enjoy relationships for what they are and dont think long term because you can almost certainly think they will not work out. Enjoy them and learn from them. Sooner or later you WILL meet someone extra special that you really do (and she too) want to spend the rest of your life with. Just make sure you have enough relationship experience by then so you dont make any f. ups. Besides, publife is almost around the corner!

why not? worst he can say is no, its too akward. then you can just move on. Thats closure. god, i wish things were that simple with my wife. Just be glad there is no children involved. A break up is complicated enough without having to deal with the loss of a family and being involved daily in your kids life.

she also said that she didnt want a divorce. I asked her that today. straight out "do you want a divorce? I can get the papers tomorrow and we can have it sorted by wednesday." and she said "well no, its only a piece of paper..." I said what?? well its not to me and she goes "no lets not. if we get back together later then it just saves a lot of hassle". That f.ucking hurt (sorry about the words, I just annoyed). Her parents split up when she was four. Her father was constantly cheating on her mother and she left him. Her mothers has lived alone since (although is having an "affair" with a married man for the last 10 years or so) and the father is with some woman he works with. I really think her total attaitude comes from all this. Like none of it matters. Funnily enough, her mother does want us to stay together. I expected she wouldnt even say a word on this. pleasantly surprised!