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smallworld

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Everything posted by smallworld

  1. smallworld
    She gave you a free sample??? I'm not sure whether to congratulate you or send you condolences.
  2. smallworld
    OR she thinks YOU WANT to be friends with benefits and she's bringing up being "friends" as a test - to see if you'll correct her assumption. I'm guessing you won't. You two sound made for each other.
  3. smallworld
    I think she took it personally. If you like her, you might want to pull her aside and tell her you're sorry if you've hurt her feelings.
  4. smallworld
    I think you're catastrophizing. You waited a week to call her the first time, so I think you should give her more than a day to return your call before considering yourself dissed. Note: Beautiful, intelligent women lead busy lives too!
  5. smallworld
    The disinterested person might be jealous (suppressing it) or might not be jealous (bored or having something else on their mind.) Either way it doesn't matter what that person thinks. The person doing the "cool" thing should just be happy he's got a tremendous opportunity to look forward to in his life and enjoy every minute of it. We can't control what other people think or do, so it's a waste of time to worry about it. So... What cool thing are you going to be doing?
  6. smallworld
    You seem adamant about not being the first to tell your feelings, so imho you've already made up your mind. That's fine. It's your life. But as an outsider I can see why she must be equally as confused and unmotivated as you are to reveal her true feelings because it doesn't seem like you're interested in her all that much. I think her mixed signals (saying she'll call, but doesn't) are just as planned and well thought out as yours. The funny thing is even though neither of you is willing to fess up at this point, you're both already dating each other irregardless of what you call it. Personally I think you're driving yourself crazy needlessly. But to each their own, right? PS. I don't think she reminded you she was "single" because she was flaunting her freedom. I saw it more as an attempt to remind you she's available now.
  7. smallworld
    I've never had a sister, but I have had roomies in college and from them I've learned it's best to talk things out as soon as they irk you. I'd sit her down and tell her "Look I understand you're under a lot of stress, but lately you've been taking it out on me and I don't appreciate it." Ask her if she needs to talk and then hear her out. If she doesn't change, there's not much you can do about your her nasty temper, but you can try to reduce the tension between you by not letting her get to you, communicating as much as possible, and by responding calmly and matter of factly. Calmness drives screamers nuts, but it also has an effective way of embarrassing them into speaking in a normal voice. Try it!
  8. smallworld
    What worries me is he's done it once successfully and I have no doubt he'll do it again. Your bf can't be with you 24-7 and the perv knows where you hang out. The next time you might not be so lucky, so PLEASE TELL YOUR PARENTS AND YOUR SISTER and then go to the authorities. You're 13! You shouldn't have to be dealing with this problem alone.
  9. smallworld
    Mental: Wit, high intelligence, cultured, confidence (not co*kiness), chivalry (opens doors, pulls out chairs), and a guy can go toe-to-toe with me on the double entendres and loves me for my mind. Physical: Magnetic eye contact, pleasant masculine scent, broad shoulders, strong arms, and uh...large hands. Yum! 8)
  10. smallworld
    OK, "Don't worry it'll go away by itself." Is that better? If you're comfortable with the way things are, then stay the course. BUT from my own experience, therapy makes it go away much faster and more effectively. Good luck!
  11. smallworld
    Hey Codaaurora! Your first bday alone doesn't have to be a sad pathetic affair. It's what you make of it! If you can take the day off, take a trip! When I lived in Seattle most of my friends were acquaintances too. My husband couldn't be in town due to a biz trip, so I thought "Why not make an adventure of my 28th?" I ended up heading south to Portland for a few days and then driving up the coast to Canada for the big day. Going to Canada meant a great deal to me (I was born there) and I used the trip as a form of "rebirth" to forgive myself for past mistakes and reclaim my right to just be happy. I'd never traveled by myself before, so doing everything solo was an adventure. I met people I normally wouldn't have (Orchestra conductor, Mom with 7 foster kids, and an Ex special forces soldier) because I talked to strangers instead of keeping to myself. I took a lot of silly pictures of myself doing touristy things and I journaled my goals for the coming year. The best part of it all was I got to see and do everything on my list without compromise. So contrary to what most people might think such a trip would be like, it turned out to be one of the best vacations of my life! 8) Decide on what you want to do and just do it. The crazier the idea the better! Run away from home! It's fun!
  12. smallworld
    Monique, I tried leg waxing at home with Nair one time and I couldn't take the pain. I can't imagine doing that to my face. I've never tried bleaching, but perhaps that's the way to go. I did a search online two years ago for this problem and have been using Surgi-cream ever since. It doesn't hurt and is about $7 a box at link removed. You can probably find it at your local drugstore too. It's simple to use. Wash your face with warm water, apply the depilatory cream on the unwanted hairs and then hang out at eNotAlone for 8 minutes. When time's up, you wipe the hairs off with a wet towel and apply the balm that's included in the kit to the affected skin. The hairs will come back in 3-5 days, but I haven't had any side effects. One box with 2 tubes of cream will last approx. 4-5 months. (I also discovered serendipitously that if I get 20+ minutes of sun and exercise everyday it slowed my unwanted hair growth by several days.) Whatever you do, don't let a razor near your face! Good luck!
  13. smallworld
    Bingo! Having gone through this dysfunctional stage myself, I believe that young women fall for unattainable guys because we think if we can turn a frog (bad boy) into a prince, it means we're beautiful & worth loving. Girls are brainwashed to believe that love has to be difficult (like it is in romance novels, fairy tales, and movies) and challenging to be the "real deal," so when the nice guy shows up and just hands over everything we want, we honestly don't know what to do with him. We think this can't be love, because there's no "challenge" to overcome. There's no struggle! There's no heat! There's no passion! Sick isn't it? This whole thing is more about female vanity and self-esteem than it is about the "challenge" (male concept) itself. Inevitably after kissing a few frogs, we realize a frog is a frog and decide it's much more easy and fun to date a prince in the first place.
  14. smallworld
    *Hugs* Guo. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to find out the truth. 8) It's not the answer you wanted, but it's the answer you needed to hear. No need to feel humiliated. Most girls are used to guys hitting on them, so I'm sure she understands. Just be casual the next month and treat her like any other co-worker. Don't seek her out. Let your feelings die down. The pain of unrequited love comes from focusing on what you don't have. Don't think or fantasize about her any more. Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it whenever she pops into your mind. Spoil yourself! Go girl watching. Eat icecream. Play video games. Whatever it takes to keep your mind busy thinking about something else. Maybe someday you can try to keep this colleague as a friend. She obviously admires your talents and cares about you, and her advice could be invaluable to you someday when you do meet the right girl.
  15. smallworld
    Crazy! Maybe you could compromise and just get engaged?
  16. smallworld
    ITA with DN & p0w3RFuL. Some guys lack confidence or have been hurt before. He's interested but he wants a clearer signal from you. Go up and talk to him. Flirt. Do this half a dozen times. When you're comfortable, invite him out on a friendly group date with your gfs and their guys. Dress up. Be yourself. Let him do the rest!
  17. smallworld
    Most girls wouldn't flirt with someone they didn't like. Serial flirts on the other hand crave lots of attention. I've only met one girl like this in my life and flirting was like a blood sport to her. She broke guys hearts left & right for the h?ll of it (even when their gfs were standing right there), but she wouldn't date any of them. I don't know if the girl you like is playing games, but since there are only a few days of school left, what do you have to lose by asking her out to celebrate her grad? If she says no, you won't have to see anymore. And if she says yes? Well you'll have 3 months to enjoy a summer romance! 8)
  18. smallworld
    Good one Kskm! Starbubblez, you're feelings are normal. Unfortunately, you can't control what other people do. If your friends are gonna break promises to you and date your ex anyway, then the best thing for you to do is to ignore it. Pretend he's yesterday's leftovers and they're a bunch of alley cats fighting over the scraps. I know it's hard, but if you blowup and nag everybody you're just going to end up looking like a fool to your ex, "best friends", and your new bf. If you read these boards a little, you'll notice a lot of folks much older than you drive themselves crazy by focusing on what they can't have or can't control. Do yourself a favor and skip the drama. Have fun with your new bf and make some new friends. The best cure for jealousy is to live a fun, interesting life! 8)
  19. smallworld
    AlwaysNeedHelp, Daywalker is spot on. I've read your posts and no where did you ever state you were from an Eastern society until today. My parents raised me with Eastern (Taiwanese) values in a Western society, so I understand your frustration with some of the assertive advice to a point. But to be honest, I think your frustration has less to do with this website and more to do with the with the guy who is flirting successfully with the girl you like. You can take or leave this place and any advice you've been given. You can pray to God all you like. But until you break out of your shell, talk to her, flirt, and do the things it takes to attract this girl's attention & win her heart, nothing will change. Nothing! There are no guarantees in life, but the good news is you don't have to be this miserable. You can choose to take small steps everyday to get to know this girl better and reveal your heart a little each day. My brother did it. My father did it. My husband did it. Countless other Eastern men have done it as well. No excuses. Get going!!!
  20. smallworld
    It doesn't matter if he's "just" flirting. If it bothers you, you need to nip it in the bud. Sexual harassers are like any other type of bully. The best way to stop harassment is to make it socially painful for him to keep harassing you. Start small and keep escalating your distaste until he gets the point. For instance the next time he flirts or touches you, shoot him a dirty look. If he persists, shoot him another dirty look and say "I really don't appreciate it when you make those kinds of comments." If he says "I'm only joking. Can't you take a joke?", say in a loud but firm voice "I don't find inappropriate jokes funny and would appreciate it if you told them to someone else." If he puts his hands on you, purposely jerk your body away and look at him like he's crazy and WALK AWAY. If he still won't stop harassing you, you no longer have to explain yourself. Just put on your best I'm-bored-to-death face, roll your eyes, and WALK AWAY. Keep doing this until the day he dies. The embarrassment in front of your classmates and other teachers should make him think twice about flirting with you again. If all else fails or he messes with your grades, then go to the counselor. Make sure you've kept a record of everything he's said and done with dates, times, witnesses, and your responses. Tell them that you're not looking to have him fired. You just want the harassment to stop. That should do it. Good luck!
  21. smallworld
    If you go to university, you might also want to check out the school's counseling center for low cost therapy options. Good luck!
  22. smallworld
    *Hugs* Zabsy, It really broke my heart to read your post. It saddens me to think you blame yourself for what happened when you were 13, naive, and up against a determined, sick, manipulative adult. I just want you to know that I care and you're not alone. I don't know your parents, but I sincerely doubt they blame you. If they're sad and distant, it's probably because they feel guilty that they weren't aware of what he was doing at the time and blame themselves for not better protecting you. I've never been sexually abused, but I've had one-on-one therapy for depression. It was useful, but I honestly made more progress in group therapy where I had a chance to not only get my issues out on the table, but be comforted by and learn from others stories. It really helps to work through these problems with people who understand exactly what you're going through and won't judge you for whatever it is you have to say. Group therapy also has the added benefit of being free or very cheap. I did a quick search and this list came up. Hope it helps! link removed
  23. smallworld
    You're a cutie Treble. Nice eyes! 8) For some reason though I pictured you as the sort who wears a lot of black.
  24. smallworld
    Whoa! So what did you say?
  25. smallworld
    Um...er they blush. They steal glances at you, but quickly look away if they think you've caught on. They try to sit close to you in class so that they can pine after you undetected. They're drawn to you, but if you talk to them, they freak out, get flustered, breathless, and their words tumble over each other or they can't speak. They look sad or upset when you're attention is focused on other girls. Sometimes they ignore you to keep their feelings from being too obvious. So how can you tell if they're shy or you're imagining things? - Look for a feeling of growing TENSION between you. - Note if they try to spend a lot of time near you especially if it's not required. - Compare how shy/nervous their interactions are with you vs. other males. - Watch how they react when you flirt with other females. Good luck!!! 8)
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