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venus777

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Everything posted by venus777

  1. venus777
    i don't know how being in a friends with benefits situation with this guy would hurt your friend any less...
  2. venus777
    well, there you go, at least that might be the problem! that's fantastic!
  3. venus777
    well... i'm glad you like it, let me explain. i'm talking about female strength and how women are like the mother earth, they are able to birth babies and have a nuturing energy. so, the way humankind destroys the earth is somewhat similar to the way that men break women down. and i refer to the strength women have that often times they do not recognize. just because he does not respect you or love you does not mean you do not have worth, you will still be there when he is gone and you will be strong. and at times, we women must deal with mens jealousy of our strength, their desire to break women down. i'm not saying all men, but a good enough number of them abuse women. there are social reasons for this we could discuss. in those cases we shouldn't deal with it, but at times we have to be patient with them when they aren't able to be nurturing and loving as we are, because they have to deal with all the social constraints labelling them as a wuss for doing so... guess i've had to interact with a lot of patriarchy and so often men can be closed to revealing who they are or even really listening to a woman cause of all the internalized oppression, they aren't really allowed to express themselves in the same way that women are...
  4. venus777
    well, then let it be! i know what it's like to take exams, and personally, i hardly talk or see anyone if they don't actually live with me! so yes, as they are saying, don't overthink it, you'll drive yourself nuts. just wait til they are over...
  5. venus777
    just say hey, how are you doing? just chat... then say you want to hang out with her sometime...
  6. venus777
    yes, i agree with above. some people don't even like txt messages. personally, i hate them... btw, i'm tormented cause i had a very sweet date with a guy on monday and he hasn't called me. and it's wednesday. so darn it, give the gal a break and call her!!! a nice casual, fun conversation, you know....
  7. venus777
    hey, whatever you do STOP probing the sister, that info will DEFINITELY get back to HER thereby definitely decreasing your value. From her email and your description she is into you. are her finals over?? if she is in finals I'm sure that she is focusing on THEM!!! and then you... so i'd wait til her finals are over before contacting her, and then, yes, a casual chat would be fine...
  8. venus777
    i say give her a call, say, hey, how's it going??? you never know, she might be actually waiting for YOU to call her, even if she said she'll call you...
  9. venus777
    personally, i'd think it's awesome if a guy didn't want to have sex with me so soon. guys always want to jump in my pants on like the first or the second date and it's annoying. i'm really flattered if a guy doesn't want to, actually HAPPY if he doesn't. i'm personally really keen on a guy that i've hung out with three times and he hasn't kissed me but we just held hands. i've got the hots for him, and i'm sure when we DO decide to go there it'll be even better for having waited... so, don't feel bad, i don't think you did anything wrong, she didn't communicate properly her own needs either. i'd move on personally, you've already made the right about of contact, she should know you are interested in her!!!
  10. venus777
    not about being a wuss, i love it when guys tell me beautiful... IF I'm interested in them too!!! so it doesn't hurt. but i'd definitely hold off on it til you met...
  11. venus777
    it's hard to tell if she likes you, it's no guarantee. so, i think you should ask to hang out, do something chill and laid back, something you both like to do and take it easy. Have Fun!! don't worry about the liking, if you spend more time with her, it will be more clear. and if she actually agrees to do something that's a super good sign.
  12. venus777
    Keep your head up woman, Never let him break you down, Even if you cry outside Know that inside You are the fertile earth… He may bring the scorching sun But the thunderstorms that follow Will awaken seed and new forests See your reflection in clear lakes And know You will live beyond all oil spills All nuclear explosions All pollution Your fertility will outlast All clumsy efforts of subordination Your heart must be enough For both of you In a world that denies him Femininity He will reject you The way he rejects himself A reminder of that which He is unable to be. With patience You hummmmmmm… As a wise woman once said… A steady tone.
  13. venus777
    uh, some guys have wanted to hang out with me and i felt bad and said yes, but really i didn't totally want to. something awkward about people you meet on line. i wouldn't take it too personally, just people aren't totally sure that's what they want. maybe just ask to talk on the phone instead, they can get a better feel for what you're like before committing to actually meeting you!! and do that soon, don't email for too long!
  14. venus777
    Thank you!! Yes, holding hands never felt so good. I've been on a cloud all day. Oh and his hair smelled so nice (he has dreads and put some sort of something in it that smelled so good) and I keep feeling like I still smell it. Sigh...
  15. venus777
    i mean i know that too, you have to make sure she knows WHY it is bothering you, explain it well.... and then maybe you two can find a way to manage it. i say that cause i had a recent similar experience and we worked it out, at least for the time being...
  16. venus777
    STDs is a big worry, especially since some can be passed even WITH condoms, so proceed with caution... if you do decide to proceed.
  17. venus777
    you know, i have been thinking that i HAVE learned a lot and i'm going to try and use those lessons. one of them is NOT having sex early. in every single relationship i've ever had i had sex super early and a relationship developed from that, but i think especially once you have some baggage you are carrying developing trust is important and to KNOW who the person is before you get attached to them by having sex... so last night, third date, we just held hands, he is not pressuring anything and holding hands felt so intense, WOW, i didn't know holding hands could feel so good....
  18. venus777
    third date and we just held hands!!! it was sooooo intoxicating too. hmmm... we've agreed to just keep things spontaneous and just be flexible and all, so i'm cool with that, but i really DO like him... that's the reason why i care... thank you for your advice, i'm going off your alls suggested course but my eyes are open for any trees...
  19. venus777
    no, she didn't know at the time. we were keeping it a secret from people. and he made out with her and then stopped and told her... also, i kind of am more understanding of her because she was having a nervous breakdown (literally, we all knew about it) because of what was going on with her.
  20. venus777
    So my "love" of my life apparently cheated on me. I learned today while hanging out with a friend of mine. When we had been dating she was going through a crisis with her love of her life cheating on her and my boyfriend was comforting her; I felt this energy from him towards her, and was sort of suspicious but went to bed. Apparently they went upstairs to her room and made out and then he stopped it and said he didn't want to do anything more because of her ex-boyfriend and because he was dating me, but he made it seem to her that we weren't **really** dating, but sort of "hanging out". But later on he told me that she tried to make out with him but he told her he didn't want to. This is crazy. What an *******. I think he told me just cause he thought I might hear about him going up to her room (we were living in a big house at the time with a total of 50 something students). I trust she is telling me the truth cause I asked her if it was o.k. if I told him and she said sure, she thinks he is weak for not being honest and for not telling her before they made out. Man, it's crazy, I look back on that time and remember all the doubts I had about him and how suspicious I was that he wanted to cheat on me, but when I brought up my feelings he said I was unreasonably jealous. I know of other situations that happened that were sketchy and now I'm beginning to think that he cheated on me with his present girlfriend before he broke up with me... Wow, what a jerk! Well, I'm glad that's over!!
  21. venus777
    It's not YOUR problem it's his. And whenever you doubt it, think about all the mean things he did.
  22. venus777
    this abusive guy i dated called me up last week to tell me he thinks he is mentally ill and then proceeded to tell me he thinks he is a shaman. i'm sorry but he will never ever wheedle his way back into my life. he's lost me. no one gets away with treating me that way....
  23. venus777
    well, the thing was she just *Delayed* it right? I don't know if I'd leap to conclusions if she is coming a bit later... was it because it was a male? what if it was a female? would you have had the same response? do you think she is interested in him?
  24. venus777
    yes, hmmm... I called him to talk to him despite everything you all say. I know you all are trying to help me but this time my intuition doesn't feel aligned with what you all are saying. Actually, my intuition is that I care *too* much about a guy that I just dated a couple of times and if I didn't care that much I probably wouldn't have been bothered that much by what happened. It's been a long time since I met someone that I was interested in and I think my bit of desperation is coming out in that sense. I talked to him and he said that he understand what I'm saying and that he tends to be flakey even with his best friends and that he'll try not to be flakey and not make promises he can't keep. So he heard me, listened to me. He expressed the same concerns, that if it is this early and we are having this kind of problem then maybe it'll be a problem in the future, but he said that he hopes that as we get to know each other better that it won't be and he suspects it's because we don't know each other. Honestly, I'm wary of myself because I've tended to be obsessive and controlling in the past and not many people like that (especially not the strong types of guys I am attracted to), so while I've been at the receiving end of abuse, I've also dealt it. I want to have a relationship that is carefree and not like my past. He told me on the phone that he wants to try to be friends and communicate and establish something strong before we even take things to any kind of physical level, so all of what he says contradicts what everyone here is saying. Also, like I said he is very different from the people I dated in that he has been persistent about contacting me, last night was the only night he flaked like that. Now he knows I don't like that and I think I know that in the future I won't react so quickly to it, but just do my own thing and not worry about it. Fact is, I was a bit childish in my reaction, I could have just said, oh well, I'll go chill with my friends and whatever, he'll call me eventually...
  25. venus777
    oh and also... he said that the reception wasn't that good where he was, that it might hang up on him, i don't know, maybe it isn't how it seems, ya know? i'm listening to your advice, taking it in, it definitely indicates to me that i'm not the only one that would feel this way, so that is helpful, but i also feel that he is different from other guys that i've dated in that he's called me every single day and other than yesterday has always called me back immediately... that's why it is confusing...
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