Luscious
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My lack of conversation is killing my relationship!!!! HELP!
Luscious replied to Chall's topic in Dating Advice
How long have yall being dating? What is his interests and yours? All conversation levels depends on how close the both of you are!!! If yall are really close how about talking about how your day went, if something significant happened to you, how does it affect you as a person. Talk about life experiences depending on what the conversation is all about. Hope that helps a bit -
Yes it hurts, and you feel deceive and betrayed but at least you can get up when you fall. She's moving on, so why should your world stop, we fall down and we get back up...you will find that one person that does deserves your love!! Eventually you will get over her but that shouldn't put a stop in your goals, everyday will become a bit easier you'll see...take care, all is not lost, in fact her lost and someone's else gain!!!
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After coming out of a relationship one develops a kind of dependence or a neediness because that is what they are use to. But thats normal. You have to make sure that you don't jump into a relationship because of your eagerness because that person just may not be the one for you. I don't know if its wise to still be talking to your ex because even though she says she doesn't know what happened between you both she was the one that ended it. Yes she misses you also and probably still cares about you but she may not want what you want so you have to be careful about putting your feelings out there. Your young and I do believe that pain is apart of life with its experiences, so enjoy being single for now and take things slow because a relationship as you should know has its ups and downs. When you get back into a relationship you'll be glad you didn't rush into anything with anyone... Remember what doesn't KILL YOU will make YOU STRONGER!!!!
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After a bad break-up it will definetly be hard to trust someone again or allow some to hold the keys to heart but like anything else it will take time. No one knows how long it will take because it varies with different people. But inorder to get over pain and heartache you have to realize that everyone is not the same and should not be whipped with the same belt. If you see that someone out there may seem nice you don't judge them by your pass relationship because everyone deserves a fair chance but you give them time to prove themselves that they are worthy of your love. There's no particular steps to take, but you must be determine to conquer don't let a bad experience keep you down, in life there are lessons that must be learned, you should take what you need from the experience and leave everything else in the past. Things will get better, you'll see!!!
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she is all i think about
Luscious replied to thefields's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
No one said that NC would be easy...because it is self healing and order to heal it will have to hurt yes you will miss her even more because you're use to her being there. But how are you ever suppose to get over her if you don't try to live life without her? Or do you actually want to get over her? Okay lets try it your way and continue talking...do you think it will help your days go by faster or prolong the transition of you being totally free from the 'I have to talk to you syndrome'. Is there hope of getting back together thats why you want to continue talking to her? A time can't be placed on how long you take to heal it will happen you just need some will power. After dating someone for a long period of time being absent from them will hurt and probably you will never heal but you wanna be heal to the point that your life doesn't stop because of her but you can still move on and be happy. We all know that NC is hard and sometimes talking to someone after a break-up helps because you see that they are now moving on but, nothing worth obtaining is easy. If you stick it through you will realize that you can do it!!! -
What I have learned that sometimes a title isn't always important meaning being boyfriend and girlfriend. Yall are now spending time together, going out on a regular basis, and also telling each other that 'I love you'. So does it really matter if a title is added to the relationship and you both are now doing what bf and gf does. If yall are only seeing each other then yall are bf and gf but she is probably scared to say so, she wants yall to take it slow but you are the person she thinks about when she can't go to sleep at 2 in the morning. Her actions are speaking clearly so just relax saying that yall are bf and gf is not really important if you both just have each other. Remember what exactly is a title...mere words that don't have to mean committment...so calm down and go at the pace she chooses, only if she starts seeing another person and showing you the same affection which it doesn't sound like its happening then you should worry about title until then enjoy the time spent cuz honestly b/w you and I yall are bf and gf she just doesn't realize it yet!!!
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You have to actually get over her for you to fully enjoy and take advantage of someone's else company...this will happen in due time. The only thing that happens over night was the creation of the earth. Time heals all wounds. Seeing your friends happy now will of course bring back memories but they all also had to cross rivers to get there, your time will come where you can be where they are in their relationship. Thats the the thing about personal growth, everyone grows at a different rate, but it will get better and when you do meet that special one you will treat her as a queen because of your life's lessons. Cheer up all is not yet lost, go out have fun and remember Roam was not build in a day.
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Hey sometimes we know the answers to the questions we asked but its good to hear it from a total stranger that doesn't know anyone in the situation and would take sides. Its always hard to let go of someone that we truly love, sometimes we settle for things that we would not normally settle for because we love the person but after you've settle and you've analyze the situation for the last time we realize our worth and we say enough is enough, either you shape up or ship out. He has to commit to you, if you wanted to become a doormat then you wouldn't have gotten your feelings involve. Why when the waters are a little rough and the boat seems like its gonna tilt over, everyone or one person in your case wants to abandon the ship...its not fair, and you're not getting any younger. If he wants to be single give him what he wants because it doesn't make any sense to force him to stay but let him know that he can't have it both ways...that you love him enough to let go because obviously this is the same book but a different page. Trust me if you decide to go with his agreement to be single and him still seeing you when he wants you will end up in a worst predicament with alot of pain involve. You said that you will make someone out there happy some day because you are a good girl so you have to believe that someone will also make you happy and giving you exactly what you want and deserve.. commitment!!! Good Luck on whatever decision you make and remember that you must put yourself and happiness first in your decision making...everyone else does!!!
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To me everything in life happens for a reason, so maybe there is a reason behind the break up and you just haven't stumble upon it as yet. There goes a saying that 'you never miss the water till the well run dry', it sad that sometimes in order for us to realize how much someone means to us we have to mess up a few times but believe me it has happen to the best of us. But you must not keep yourself down, try and encourage yourself that yes you messed up and it maybe too late but you must gather what you need to take from the situation and learn from it. Don't repeat mistakes twice, learn that in the next relationship if you and this person never gets back together that you will treat the new person in your life with the utmost respect and never take the little things that she may cherish for granted. I'm sure the relationship had its ups and downs so she may look over it and say that it was not all bad and its sad that it didn't work out but you don't need to know if she does this, know within yourself that it wasn't all bad. But you can't keep on living in the past, try and do better, do it for yourself where you can have self gratification and fulfillment. So hold your head up, be strong you will overcome the funk that you are now in, just remember that in every situation we are placed in we must learn from it like Hubman said "Learning to love is the easy part, learning to live without someone you loved was not meant to be easy, life is not fair sometimes so learn to deal with it". I hope this helps just a little bit.
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A major issue that you may encounter is that her parents may not approve of it so it may be a difficult relationship. Relationships already has it ups and downs so pressure from the family may be a bit difficult. Are you willing to stick it through inspite of? Some times we are placed in situations where we thought that we would never be in and things just happens, but if you both get along fine then why not. Good Luck
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Will this ever get better? (Sorry it's long)
Luscious replied to Wimpy's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Sometimes people do things and we wonder how could they do this without thinking how it would affect the next person. When they pick up and leave without an explanation they leave alot with alot of unanswered questions, sometimes these questions may never be answered and then later on we tend to form our own answers. Sometimes when this happens it helps the wound heal much faster and realize how much that the person don't deserve us. Yes whimpy he was inconsiderate and had no empathy at all but should he get the satisfaction to see you at your lowest point, shouldn't he see that yeah what he did hurt but life doesn't stop because of him it really has just begun because obviously he was only holding you back. Believe it or not 5weeks is a short time for a wound to heal but everyone wounds heal differently, it may appear that your feeling worst but as time goes on its gonna get better. But you have to help yourself, get up and do something about the pain go out and have fun do the things you did before he actually existed in your world...this will not stop you from thinking about him when you're alone but it will make you realize that you are strong and that you can get over it. He's having fun and moving on so you do the same...I'm not saying date someone because he's doing it(if he is) but try and be finish with that chapter of the book, the book of your life. You can do it, you just have to put your mind to it and believe that you deserve nothing but the best!!! O -
The first thing that came to my mind when I read your post is that what she thinks is nonsense, and she is foolish if she actually believes what she said. If she was expecting it to fail then she shouldn't have wasted her time and especially yours. Everyone goes in a relationship or should go in a relationship thinking that this person may actually be the one...I think she just wanted to justify why she is moving on so quickly...anyway I don't know you but you deserve better than that!
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Boy, does time fly!!!!
Luscious replied to herewegoagain's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Sometimes we never get over someone that we once love but when we see that they are moving on with their life that doesn't mean that you should hold yourself back. Some wounds take longer to heal than others but you have to have the strength and determination to not allow it to keep you down. Yes it still hurts that she started dating right after yall broke up but sometimes to truly get over pain it has to hurt alot and then you would realize that she was not the girl for you and doesn't deserve you. Keep your head up things are going to get better and you'll meet that person that loves you as much as you love her. -
I don't think that counselling is needed for this situation but i think you need to love the brother from afar because if you and him should ever get together it would only bring about a lot of hurt and pain so maybe you should try letting it go. Maybe you feel that you don't love your boyfriend anymore because you are into someone else...focus on the relationship you have now and if it doesn't work out then maybe you should think about moving on but not on to his brother...and besides you don't want your son to say stepfather and uncle. Sorry if I'm a bit harsh but take into considerations everyone else feelings first.
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I think that there is good sex when you're sober and also when your a little bit tipsy but not drunk. Cause I find myself wanting intimacy when I have a little bit of liquor in my system and its usually "off da chains", and also the same whem I'm sober.