thefields

I can never ever get her off my mind. Every time I see other couples, I think of my ex. Every time I read or hear about other people doing things for there husbands and wifes bf/gfs, i think of my ex. Every time i watch a movie that has to do with some sort of romantic drama, I think of my ex..and every time i see a place i would want to live or visit, i keep thinking *gee this would be nice if she was here with me*. I absolutely cannot get her off my mind. its been almost 4 months since we have broken up, but the past 3 weeks has been very emotional for me, not more than 30 seconds goes by to were i have nothing but her in my memory. Just something to share with you people, im sure many people go through the same thing, but everything I want to do right now..including plans with work, movies, fun in general *as if im having any right now* always has to do with her..as if it would be 50x better if she was here...Ive tried NC, and it just makes me hurt even more and she assumes i just dont want to talk to her when i dont call. NC is about self healing, im fully aware of that. But it havent dont anything for me, just miss her more. She calls from work sometimes when she says shes "bored", an excuse im sure to only make someone feel worse. We talk a few times a week, and i start to feel better about her being happy, but lately when we talk she has this innocent sweet tone with me like she used to have. I must be over analyzing everything she is doing but..i just wish i knew what she was thinking about me..but dont we all -.-

I know alot of people say this, but she says no one loves her..and shes constantly being blown by everyone not wanting to ever talk because they also have their *own* problems, which means their "working", but the only person she can really talk to is me. I have no idea what to say when she says these things. Im not the best person a bringing up conversations. No idea what to do, stuck in a loop..hurts me to see her like this.

well ^^, you 2 must have done quite a few things together than made you happy, or else that feeling wouldnt carry on as long as it should. Plus, your heart is still hanging on to him..theres some unresolved answers you havent found yet. Maybe sit down with him, and just tell him how you are still feeling, just so you can move on.

heh, thanks for the advice. But i crossed that road months ago. It was straight from my heart how i told her she is beutiful and it vexes me how she could say she is ugly and needs to loose weight. Ive straight making up phrases to help her and, ive tried to convince her everything happens for a reason. But in the end, it always comes back to her saying she is unhealthy,ugly, she thinks her family despises her.. If only she could see her potential, and how good of a person she really is.

There is nothing in life that is worth dying for. So many things people dont see is right under them..you just have to look. There is always light through a door you pick, but you must thrive to keep going on until you find that light. Please, suicide is never the answer...your problems will be stuck with you and you wont have a chance to fix them. believe in your self to push away from depression, you can tell yourself that your better than that pain thats holding you back. Dont give up, and do your best to find that door to a better life.

my female friend, has always told me that sometimes she wants to kill her self, and doesnt see any reason to live. She says sometimes she feels as if part of her body gives out, or her boyfriend sometimes wants to have time alone, and the only person she can talk to is me. She is a very attractive female, but yet she says she always feel over weight and ugly...it hurts me like hell that she is pushing her self to these limits. I would do anything for her. If anyone can give me any advice, to cheer her up and to lessen her ideals to commit suicide..and to not be so depressed all the time, it would be much appreciated, this girl has so much potential and such a great personality to just let go to waste..

she left me, its been several months, and i told her straight up i will always love her, i respect her wishes and im going to leave her alone. But shes been feeling real down, and i still have this security to were if anyone is going to mess with her emotions, there gonna have to deal with me -.-' but im just thinking outloud.

yeah man. I was real busy when she called and was just like "we can talk later if you want" she just said ok but..still kinda like saying " i will call you later" and not doing so..but i guess your still right upon that ^^. Dont want her to think im gonna tell her one thing and not do it but saying "we can talk later" isnt quite " i will call you later" confusing

i sent my ex a long story about how i care for her and told her im gonna leave her alone..she hasent called at all since like a month ago unless i called first..but shes been telling me shes not been doing good, and is really down. She called me today with out any notice, i havent called her back, and its making me feel kinda down. not sure what to do, its almost 10 so maybe its too late to call back tonight anyway..ugh

i shouldnt call her, and we got off on the wrong foot after she went afk...just wanted to tell her one last time and then ill would never bother her agian. That she is a great person, and deserves to be happy. Ofcourse i would do it all over agian and be with her, but the past cant change, and i hope she has a happy life.

I had told a few understanding friends how I love my ex and just want whats best for her. One of my friends told me she talked to him and said she still loves me. It must have boosted my confidence, but she IMed me out of the blue. I replied about 10 minutes later, she asked what was going on..it was ok and she asked if i can do her a favor. Was very typical, i just said yeah, whats up. She aksed if i could stop telling people she is a major *beep*..She said people told her something like im still in love with her and they said she needs to stop being mean. But i told her "im not sure what "people" told you that, but i said she deserves to have a good life, and i love her enough to see that. She tells me i can call her later...but why? That hit me like a sledge hammer, calling her will probably completely drift her away from me..as if she hasent already.

Yeah man, its like the dreams try to tell you something, but you gotta do a step my step proccess to figure it out, I always thought dreams are prophets of the future *If only some bluntly were*. Im also trying the NC deal now, and theres no use being "friends" if we dont communicate, plus it hurts to much to have this "false hope" so, I guess the only way to communicate with her right now is in my dreams . And also, I wouldnt of even minded the fact of earth freezing over heh .

I havent had a dream about my ex since about 3 months ago when we broke up. But i just had this dream, I was in my kicthen, and everyone informed me that it was going to get extremely cold on earth. Everyone was leaving the planet and suddenly my ex shows up at my house, and comes in to my house. It shocks me, but she doesnt even mind whats going on around her, puts her arms around me and tells me "its good to see me agian". We start talking to each other and smiling. She kisses me and we get real intimate, but I then remember she has a boyfriend and I suddenly backfire with a "whoa", but she just smiles and tells me its ok..we start playing around and she tries to put a broken off pretzel in my ear *I just lost my earing and had to put a broken off ear swab in it *, and she tries to fit it in the ear I dont have a peircing in. But she kisses me agian, and I go in the kitchen to make some food, as i see everything frozen outside *its florida here by the way*. We tell each other I love you, and i smile at her. Then I just wake up shaking, pretty much the same thing thats been happening the past 2 weeks since shes told me shes had a boyfriend. Just thought id share it with everyone, it feels good to have a dream like that about her, but I almost broke down when i woke up . If only dreams could tell us face to face what they ment.

Doing this will slowly make my inner self heal, and I can get on with what i was doing, rather than hold me back. I have a band, ever since this has happened, it seems i couldnt play as well..or if we were tracking a song, i would mess up at the moment of truth. It also hurts me how, my band mates has so much talent, and its wasting because of my sorrow...so doing this will be better for me and the people that *in some way* depend on me..such as musicly ^^. thanks for the support everyone. I guess its taking me to dragging my face RIGHT on the surface of the truth to realize what i have to do..and now i realize it.

yes I completely understand. Tonight, im going to call her one last time, to get off my chest, that i cant do the friend thing. A role of me playing a friend with her..just drives me to keep wanting her back, and I cant live with that for the rest of my life. So, im pretty much saying "I cant be friends with you, it hurts to bad..maybe it would be best not to talk anymore." Thanks alot for your support