thefields
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I can never ever get her off my mind. Every time I see other couples, I think of my ex. Every time I read or hear about other people doing things for there husbands and wifes bf/gfs, i think of my ex. Every time i watch a movie that has to do with some sort of romantic drama, I think of my ex..and every time i see a place i would want to live or visit, i keep thinking *gee this would be nice if she was here with me*. I absolutely cannot get her off my mind. its been almost 4 months since we have broken up, but the past 3 weeks has been very emotional for me, not more than 30 seconds goes by to were i have nothing but her in my memory. Just something to share with you people, im sure many people go through the same thing, but everything I want to do right now..including plans with work, movies, fun in general *as if im having any right now* always has to do with her..as if it would be 50x better if she was here...Ive tried NC, and it just makes me hurt even more and she assumes i just dont want to talk to her when i dont call. NC is about self healing, im fully aware of that. But it havent dont anything for me, just miss her more. She calls from work sometimes when she says shes "bored", an excuse im sure to only make someone feel worse. We talk a few times a week, and i start to feel better about her being happy, but lately when we talk she has this innocent sweet tone with me like she used to have. I must be over analyzing everything she is doing but..i just wish i knew what she was thinking about me..but dont we all -.-
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I know alot of people say this, but she says no one loves her..and shes constantly being blown by everyone not wanting to ever talk because they also have their *own* problems, which means their "working", but the only person she can really talk to is me. I have no idea what to say when she says these things. Im not the best person a bringing up conversations. No idea what to do, stuck in a loop..hurts me to see her like this.
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Living with an ex boyfriend after 2 years
thefields replied to neille's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
well ^^, you 2 must have done quite a few things together than made you happy, or else that feeling wouldnt carry on as long as it should. Plus, your heart is still hanging on to him..theres some unresolved answers you havent found yet. Maybe sit down with him, and just tell him how you are still feeling, just so you can move on. -
friend of mine always wanting to die..please help
thefields replied to thefields's topic in Suicide & Self-Harm
heh, thanks for the advice. But i crossed that road months ago. It was straight from my heart how i told her she is beutiful and it vexes me how she could say she is ugly and needs to loose weight. Ive straight making up phrases to help her and, ive tried to convince her everything happens for a reason. But in the end, it always comes back to her saying she is unhealthy,ugly, she thinks her family despises her.. If only she could see her potential, and how good of a person she really is. -
There is nothing in life that is worth dying for. So many things people dont see is right under them..you just have to look. There is always light through a door you pick, but you must thrive to keep going on until you find that light. Please, suicide is never the answer...your problems will be stuck with you and you wont have a chance to fix them. believe in your self to push away from depression, you can tell yourself that your better than that pain thats holding you back. Dont give up, and do your best to find that door to a better life.
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my female friend, has always told me that sometimes she wants to kill her self, and doesnt see any reason to live. She says sometimes she feels as if part of her body gives out, or her boyfriend sometimes wants to have time alone, and the only person she can talk to is me. She is a very attractive female, but yet she says she always feel over weight and ugly...it hurts me like hell that she is pushing her self to these limits. I would do anything for her. If anyone can give me any advice, to cheer her up and to lessen her ideals to commit suicide..and to not be so depressed all the time, it would be much appreciated, this girl has so much potential and such a great personality to just let go to waste..
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she left me, its been several months, and i told her straight up i will always love her, i respect her wishes and im going to leave her alone. But shes been feeling real down, and i still have this security to were if anyone is going to mess with her emotions, there gonna have to deal with me -.-' but im just thinking outloud.
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yeah man. I was real busy when she called and was just like "we can talk later if you want" she just said ok but..still kinda like saying " i will call you later" and not doing so..but i guess your still right upon that ^^. Dont want her to think im gonna tell her one thing and not do it but saying "we can talk later" isnt quite " i will call you later" confusing
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i sent my ex a long story about how i care for her and told her im gonna leave her alone..she hasent called at all since like a month ago unless i called first..but shes been telling me shes not been doing good, and is really down. She called me today with out any notice, i havent called her back, and its making me feel kinda down. not sure what to do, its almost 10 so maybe its too late to call back tonight anyway..ugh
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i shouldnt call her, and we got off on the wrong foot after she went afk...just wanted to tell her one last time and then ill would never bother her agian. That she is a great person, and deserves to be happy. Ofcourse i would do it all over agian and be with her, but the past cant change, and i hope she has a happy life.
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I had told a few understanding friends how I love my ex and just want whats best for her. One of my friends told me she talked to him and said she still loves me. It must have boosted my confidence, but she IMed me out of the blue. I replied about 10 minutes later, she asked what was going on..it was ok and she asked if i can do her a favor. Was very typical, i just said yeah, whats up. She aksed if i could stop telling people she is a major *beep*..She said people told her something like im still in love with her and they said she needs to stop being mean. But i told her "im not sure what "people" told you that, but i said she deserves to have a good life, and i love her enough to see that. She tells me i can call her later...but why? That hit me like a sledge hammer, calling her will probably completely drift her away from me..as if she hasent already.
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Yeah man, its like the dreams try to tell you something, but you gotta do a step my step proccess to figure it out, I always thought dreams are prophets of the future *If only some bluntly were*. Im also trying the NC deal now, and theres no use being "friends" if we dont communicate, plus it hurts to much to have this "false hope" so, I guess the only way to communicate with her right now is in my dreams . And also, I wouldnt of even minded the fact of earth freezing over heh .
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I havent had a dream about my ex since about 3 months ago when we broke up. But i just had this dream, I was in my kicthen, and everyone informed me that it was going to get extremely cold on earth. Everyone was leaving the planet and suddenly my ex shows up at my house, and comes in to my house. It shocks me, but she doesnt even mind whats going on around her, puts her arms around me and tells me "its good to see me agian". We start talking to each other and smiling. She kisses me and we get real intimate, but I then remember she has a boyfriend and I suddenly backfire with a "whoa", but she just smiles and tells me its ok..we start playing around and she tries to put a broken off pretzel in my ear *I just lost my earing and had to put a broken off ear swab in it *, and she tries to fit it in the ear I dont have a peircing in. But she kisses me agian, and I go in the kitchen to make some food, as i see everything frozen outside *its florida here by the way*. We tell each other I love you, and i smile at her. Then I just wake up shaking, pretty much the same thing thats been happening the past 2 weeks since shes told me shes had a boyfriend. Just thought id share it with everyone, it feels good to have a dream like that about her, but I almost broke down when i woke up . If only dreams could tell us face to face what they ment.
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what to say to my ex tonight..
thefields replied to thefields's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
Doing this will slowly make my inner self heal, and I can get on with what i was doing, rather than hold me back. I have a band, ever since this has happened, it seems i couldnt play as well..or if we were tracking a song, i would mess up at the moment of truth. It also hurts me how, my band mates has so much talent, and its wasting because of my sorrow...so doing this will be better for me and the people that *in some way* depend on me..such as musicly ^^. thanks for the support everyone. I guess its taking me to dragging my face RIGHT on the surface of the truth to realize what i have to do..and now i realize it. -
what to say to my ex tonight..
thefields replied to thefields's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
yes I completely understand. Tonight, im going to call her one last time, to get off my chest, that i cant do the friend thing. A role of me playing a friend with her..just drives me to keep wanting her back, and I cant live with that for the rest of my life. So, im pretty much saying "I cant be friends with you, it hurts to bad..maybe it would be best not to talk anymore." Thanks alot for your support -
what to say to my ex tonight..
thefields replied to thefields's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
Hey hope,I have a post about our conversation last week and a post in "getting back together" if you want to hear the whole story. We werent married but engaged for more than a year, we were together for 2 years and have been broken up since early january. She split up with me because she "wanted some time apart"..but after no contact for 3 months, she should an old ex to date. So she does have a boyfriend. I call once a week just to see how she is doing, she is busy at work but doesnt mind the calls, she will call back if she had to go. But yes, i want to say that to her tonight..but not sure how she will take it. It IS for my self, and after this talk we will have tonight *if we do*, i will leave her alone and let her be. -
I called her at work today..just to see how she is doing, and the only thing i could really think up is "hey hows work?" ..."whats going on?". The whole friend thing is really hard for me to do with my ex..im so used to talk to her more of a wife than a buddy...and I called after she told to call her back because she was busy with a costumer. I didnt say much,just hoped she was doing well and what not. So she had to go agian, called me back, told her ill call her once im back from the store. Called her, told her just wanted to tell her to have a good day..but I was so nervous with nothing "friendly" to say..i said "have a good day" like 6 times and shes like "you know you said that like 5 times now?". It was dam embarrassing and she will probably not want to call anymore. But heres the whole point. Tonight, ive decided, if I have enough courage, to call her and ask her if she wants me calling anymore. Im going to tell her its not easy for me playing the role as a friend. Im not even sure if I should call her back and inform her if i can call later tonight and have a "talk" with her, or just call later tonight w/o her notice. Just really confused about the situation..shes probably going to not want to talk to me anymore, but I guess what she would really want is me saying what i really feel inside. Very confused as of right now though.
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Hey guys. Last night I really laid back and brainstormed as to why I still and always will love my Ex. Even though I was told many times before, it didnt occur to me that if she has a boyfriend, I could somehow swipe her away and erase her mind from him. Well, I called up my mother, since how mothers, really do understand everything -.-. I explained to her that what im feeling isnt just going to fall off and never reach its way back..its glued to me that she means everything to me and that I promised she would have a place in my heart. I explained the whole NC situation for 3 months and how it wasnt working, because my ex is one of those females that does NOT look back on it..it hurts her even more when I didnt call. Anyways, my mother explained..its not that you didnt call her..but maybe you didnt "not talk to her" ENOUGH....!?!?...it confused me because 3 months seemed like an awfully long time and it seems like it made her angery.."obviously because she is now dating someone else.." But we had this long talk to were I needed support, and the best thing for me would to just be to care and respect others, rather than always doing everything for myself *mainly what i did in our relationship*. My mother completely understood, and we both agreed..if she doesnt come back and realize Im trying to show more respect for others..thats great. But if she doesnt come back and never wants to talk to me agian..It will have to find its way to the back of my head..and my heart will have to move on. The replies i got on the board were almost identical..but talking to a close family member about it, just really lasers through you to were you can see in there eyes..that they know what there talking about. Hopefully, my ex still loves me, as to I will ALWAYS love her, I hope this guy is showing her respect..and what ever she does..will be for her best interest. Thats how I will show that I really care..leave her alone, and if she comes around , treat her with respect and love..but in a friendly manner..its gonna be hard though.
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yes, thank you for understanding. Its something I havent done in a long time, but its helping me focus away from the hurt thats glued to my heart..
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Ever since my ex has told she has gotten back with her ex...nothing has made me feel better. Ive tried talking to friends about anything happy, exercising, anything to take my mind off of that she has a new guy and probably will not take me back. But, I think I have found a way to really take my mind off of the pain, it probably wont work for everyone. I listen to pretty hard music, bands such as Pantera,Mudvayne, even Cannibal Corpse. Ive left the hard stuff alone for a long time, lately its been very laid back rock, because it thought it would reach out and touch me saying "everything will be ok". Anger will not solve answers in any problems..especially when it comes to Ex's. But, instead of letting loose and getting aggrivated at everything *which im not that guy anymore*, I put in some of my old music..and cranked it loud. I am sitting down now with my music cranked, and after this message im going to sit down and just listen to it. It may help some of the emotions push out as if its telling me "you got to move on! if not, we will make you! : )*. Just giving my advice to if it helps anyone *but not everyone listens to the same thing * I love her so much, what is best for her does make me happy..but now I have to make myself happy, and see what happens.
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Ah yes, also here boyfriend was recently in a car crash,which his car literally flipped. It is a serious issue, but she said he escaped with only scratched and bruises..but nothing serious. Its very shocking, that something could happen like that, but good to hear that he is ok. Should I ask her how he is doing? Im not sure if it would make her think im not even interested in talking about her..but knowing how her boyfriend was just in what could have been a fatal accident, maybe it would show her that I do care for her feelings and those around her. Usually accidents cause some to stay together longer for some personal reasons..but as i said before, just as she knows i care that she is happy, thats all that matters. any advice would help
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Also, this is a big part I left out that may have alot to do with the issues we have. I dont have a car OR job right now. This guy she is dating has a job, and his car. She did all the driving when we were dating, I even asked her if it was a problem that she always drives us places, but she didnt seem to mind all that much. I felt down that I didnt have a car to drive her with, plus I had a very flimsy half time job. But now, my friend who works at a boxing and shipping warehouse, told me that he could get me an application for a full time position. Which means the average wage is around 1200 monthly, enough to pay off any car payments *when I get one*, a steady rent wage, with have a roommate, and enough money to buy food for 2. Perhaps she will see the responsability I have taken, knowing I have gotten off my behind, and am trying to get somewere in life, so she will see I am not dependant on her transportation, better yet I will do most of the transporting, if she needs it. I will still have NC activated after my job and my new car. Plus im still wondering if the conversation on the phone last night with her was the right strategy. Only time will tell.
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Thanks a bunch K8tie Kool Two good friends of mine know what im going through and its good theres a few people I personally know to vent too. I feel confident that if I do not call,im, txt her at ALL, things will cool off *im feeling better now as it is*. She called last night while she was driving home, asking how I was doing..I said things were ok, but immediately got on the topic of her, such as her day. I asked how work was, if costumers didnt give her a hard time ^^, how her project at school went. She just gave a few minutes to explain her day, sounds like things went well for her, and afterwards she said, well i just wanted to call because we had a small argument the other day *Read above* and wanted to check in. I told her its ok, and thats good her day went well. Then kindly reassured that she drive home safe, and have a good night. Even when her and I talk like that, it comforts me that she is doing ok with out me, and im doing ok without her because it heals quicker knowing we are both happy. Im still very Vexed as to what she wants though, hehe Im tried as hard as i can to focus on her, but not overwhelm her with attention *as to why I will try to NC now, possibly pick up if she calls*
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It sounds like you guys seem very comfortable around each other, and theres no stress related factors going on..you gave each other back massages, and fell asleep *sounds like she is very comfortable around you most of all*. It looks like she really is giving you the signal that she still sees you as a caring guy, whom she still knows that cares about her.If things feel right with you, somehow take a deep breath, take her out/hang out one more time..and if you feel completely confident..go for it
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yes..thats a great thing if she is happy with her boyfriend...its very hard to NC now, because over the last couple of weeks..i tried to do it, and it seemed impossible not to call her to just ask "how are things?/work?" she will occasionally get on aim..when im on get will sign on and sign back off..i havent IMed her at all today..she went idle/afk several times, and then went un idle agian with her afk message up...im sure its probably nothing..but i keep thinking maybe she keeps checking to see if i IMed her agian. But im not going to, im going to leave her alone, and not call, give her the space she needs. The NC will eventually patch me up.